Primarily Voting

This is election primary season and we all need to… VOTE.

Yes.

VOTE.

What happens after we vote.. Hi ZORA Fam, | by Jolie A. Doggett | ZORA

It’s pretty simple, even when your brain is as fried as mine is this weekend after…oh, who cares.  It’s not important when democracy is at stake. 

Which it is.

Here in Los Angeles, CA we have a ton of stuff to vote for on Tuesday primary day.   But if you’re a mail-in voter, like me and about 75% plus of the people in our state, you probably did your voting this week.

Voting By Mail Vote By Mail Sticker - Voting By Mail Vote By Mail Mail In  Voting - Discover & Share GIFs
She looks good on a red carpet

Personally, I waited until yesterday because I like to revel in the idea that I’m going to do it since our current POTUS hates it even though he himself does it.

Which should give you yet another snapshot into his psyche.

As if you needed one.

Brain Dead GIFs | Tenor
This about sums it up

Speaking of the cesspool of reality TV stars, here in L.A. we have an unqualified idiot named Spencer Pratt running for Mayor who is traipsing around the city with no professional government experience except calling himself a public advocate who cares.

Electing him mayor would be like enlisting Noah Wyle to crack open your chest if you were in an E.R. on death’s door and suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

Yes, I L.O.V.E. Dr. Robby but our reality is not TV reality.

the pitt gifs – @doctorrobbysource on Tumblr
(not a real doctor)

Fame and the ability to act (Note: If you could call what Pratt did on The Hills acting) do not make you qualified to fix a town, a city, or even a country.

And again, if the last 18 months haven’t shown you the perils of going down that road, please just…

DON’T VOTE.

DO NOT.

JUST STAY HOME.

a machine has a sign that says do n't leave the room today
Take this advice

Your country needs you…to do that.

By the way, there were SIXTY f-ckng people on the California ballot for GOVERNOR.

I’m not joking.

6. 0.

Endless List GIFs | Tenor
CA Ballot

And the names were not in alphabetical order.

I have a reasonable amount of education and had to really dig deep to find….

Oh…I’m not trying to sway you…Becerra….because if you live in California you have enough commercials crawling up your ass to last until Gavin Newsom announces he’s running for president in 2028.

And guess what?  I, and the majority of the state, would like to keep him right here.

Notable & Quotable: Gavin Newsom, Genius - WSJ
Still not sure if he was cooked up in the “Central Casting Politican” lab

With all our challenges, including the constant threat of fires brought on by climate change – not our current L.A. Mayor Karen Bass – this city and state is still a great place to live. The sun shines, the people are friendly and we have all sorts of folks of all different colors, sexual identities, religions and ages living mostly peacefully.

Which is more than I can say for many places. 

Look, this has been a tough year and a half for L.A. since the fires and for the country since…well…why state the obvious.

But voting can be at least a step to the change you’ve been waiting for because you will be choosing someone or something that YOU prefer.

Being Heard GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Valerie gets it

Not to overuse metaphors, but if you’re literally starving and dying for pizza but the only food in sight were roasted Brussels sprouts or mashed peas you’d pick one and live to eat another day.

So chow down, America.

The 99 Cent Chef: Brussels Sprouts & Chicken Stir Fry
Yum!

Unless you think our next Supreme Court Justice should be a Real Housewife.

Then the kitchen is closed.

“Fortunate Son” – Creedence Clearwarter Revival

Why’s it All So Surreal?

I like movies and TV shows that earn your trust and make you believe what is, by definition, contrived.

Yes, all movies and tv shows are contrived.

When you finally get your gif to upload coreectly - GIF - Imgur
obviously

As I tell my writing students when they resist a good plot point in their work because they fear it will come off as artificial: 

What you really fear is that it will seem contrived.

Meaning every writer’s, or liar’s, job is to massage a moment to the point where it seems perfectly believable for the person in the moment they’re in. 

This has worked for me as a writer, and as a college professor, for most of my adult life.

But what do you do when the actual events in the world seem too ludicrous to be true in the reality you’ve lived in for all of your life?

Ok but it’s still really bad, right?

And what effect will that have on you and all others falling under the dreaded monicker of content creators (Note: Ugh, I hate that term, it preemptively makes us all sound like we’re A.I. assembly-line worker bees, which I suppose is the point) going forward?

Is there no action a person or character takes that could be deemed too outlandish?  Will there be no plot point out of the bounds of logic?

No Rules GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
NO RULES

Can an American POTUS publicly attack the sitting Pope – the leader of approximately 1.3 billion Catholics – as “a tool of the radical left,” “weak on crime,” and “disgraceful” as he simultaneously posts a picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick to millions of his followers on social media?

What about a U.S. Secretary of Defense holding a worship service at the Pentagon (Note: Normally we could stop there) where he quotes what professes to be a bible verse from Ezekiel 25:17 that is actually A SPEECH WRITTEN BY director-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino to mimic a bible verse delivered by a fictional hitman played by Samuel L. Jackson in the 1994 breakout hit, Pulp Fiction???

Pulp Fiction GIFs | Tenor
You gotta be kidding me

The answers are being rewritten even as I write, and every time one awakes to another bizarre rant from [Fill in the world “leader” (ahem) of your choice].

This week I went to an actual movie theatre to see The Drama, a sort of oddball mélange of rom-com, pathos, suspense and cross-cutting frenzy fueled by the star power of Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Zendaya & Robert Pattinson On How They Built Their Chemistry For 'The Drama'
Criminally attractive people

Playing a Gen Z meet-cute couple about to be married and thus subject to a few nervous drunken nights with friends, the film essentially poses the bizarre question:  What would Mr. Pattinson’s character do if this fantasy gal he was in love with, nee Zendaya’s character, admitted that she almost did a school shooting when she was a teenager?

She DID NOT DO IT, mind you.  She just thought about it and planned a little of it until logic and goodwill won her over.

Yes, it’s concerning, but… would it cause you as Mr. Pattinson (Note: You wish!) to melt down to the point where you  __________, or prompt more than a few friends or co-workers to advise you to call the police and have her arrested for something she never did years ago?

Hot Robert Pattinson GIFs | PS Celebrity
Really Robby?

Call me crazy, but I had some issue with that. 

On the other hand, I didn’t grow up with school shooting drills or in a time when being gunned en masse in junior high school was a possibility. (Note: The worst it got for me was being jabbed by several long sharp knitting needles going up the stairs to class by several very tough girls in school that I avoided at all costs).

As for the students I sent to see The Drama, some agreed with me but many didn’t at all have an issue with it.  Nor, obviously, did, Z or RPatz, who signed on to do the script.  Nor did many filmgoers, as $110 million worldwide at the box-office proves.

Or does it?

Review: "The Drama" is a Nightmare to Watch and Even Worse to Describe -  Blog - The Film Experience
Box office don’t lie!

Maybe it was simply RPatz & Z they wanted to see.  And who could blame them?  They seem cooler and hotter than any one of us will ever be in whatever they do onscreen, which is part of what makes them movie stars in the first place.

Not every TV show has to be as believable as the E.R. workers in The Pitt, or create as convincing of an earned alternate reality the innies and outies are given in Severance.

Why everyone is telling you to watch The Pitt
Why am I only talking about handsome Robbys?!?

And certainly we don’t require everything to be as smart, dense and grounded in the actual politics of its day as Oppenheimer.  The well-reviewed and well-attended response to the campy and luxuriously contrived Barbie, which went on to create that beloved Barbenheimer effect in the summer of 2023 is evidence of that.

A quaint time three years ago when there was something for everyone.

Not the current, creeping, heat-seeking reality of almost everything for just a few.

Charlie and Emma’s Wedding Video (From “The Drama”)