The Dinner That Wasn’t

This was going to be a post about freedom of speech and the necessity of a free press in order for democracy to survive. 

It was to be inspired in part by this weekend’s annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner, where traditionally grants are awarded to young journalists, an emcee roasts the president AND the sitting president gets a chance to hit back with a speech of their own.

This was not to be.

Debbie Downer Womp Womp GIFs | Tenor
Womp Womp

Instead, an armed man rushed the security checkpoint at the dinner’s hotel venue and exchanged gunfire with law enforcement, an encounter where one officer was shot and the armed man was tackled to the ground and taken into custody.

The man, Cole Thomas Allen, 31, is a teacher and lives in a small tract home in Torrance, CA.  According to news reports, he is also a Cal Tech graduate, a game developer and, in Dec. 2024, was named teacher of the month at his local school.

More to come on that score.  In fact, so much more that he and this event will no doubt become the story rather than a necessary spotlight on the importance of journalism, facts and the right every U.S. citizen has to feel free to say what they think and to speak truth to power. 

Well, so much for best laid plans.

Welp 350 X 200 Gif GIF | GIFDB.com
I guess we’ll get to freedom of the press next week?

It should be noted that our sitting president had refused to attend this annual dinner every year of his first term and in the first year of his second term.  Not only did he decry the bias of the press in all of those years but had no stomach for being roasted by the usual comedian/host.

However, this year he agreed to attend.  Perhaps because there was to be no roast of the POTUS, and no comedian host.  In fact, the featured “entertainer” scheduled to appear at the podium was a mentalist named Oz Pearlman, an alumni from America’s Got Talent who specializes in “psychological illusions.”

The man poses like this in every picture… really.

Yup, that is the guy they booked to hold forth at the White House Correspondents’ dinner our current POTUS finally agreed to attend.

And no, I’m not making that up. 

That is a fact.

Another fact is that despite not being roasted himself by the “mentalist” this year, our current POTUS was to be given the chance to make an extended speech roasting the press and, presumably addressing freedom of the press.

Several journalists who were granted copies of the speech beforehand reported that it was quite brutal and extremely long. 

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I’m with Cher on this one

Of course, we don’t know for sure.

What is a fact is that the one time this POTUS attended a White House Correspondent’s Dinner it was as a private citizen in 2011.  At that time he was chided by host Seth Meyers, who famously noted, that:

Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

The latter was in reference to his racist and since debunked birtherism claim about then Pres. Obama having a fake US birth certificate.

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Memory unlocked… now make it go away

At this same dinner, Mr. Obama then went on to chide the former Apprentice host about his decision-making ability in that he was stepping up and “firing” actor Gary Busey on this TV show. “These are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night…”

It has often been said and written that the roasting that evening was perceived by the future and our current POTUS as humiliating and it tipped the scales for him to finally run for the highest office in the land. 

Of course, we will never know for sure.  Perhaps these are just the kind of “psychological illusions” liberals and free press advocates like to tell themselves in order to sleep at night.

Aww.. Bless your delusional little heart.. | Sympathy Ecard
Whatever works

One final fact we do know is that half an hour or so after the President, Vice President and various members of his cabinet were evacuated from the ballroom of the Washington Hilton Hotel Saturday night, our current POTUS gave a press conference.

He began his speech noting that in the five minutes or so when the members of the press and his administration were threatened by gun violence, Democrats, Republicans and the undecided were all one group who came together regardless of party lines.  He also added that this was the very purpose of the annual dinner.

So, well, that was nice. 

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I have a feeling this is going to go somewhere else

But then very quickly he expounded on the shooter, who he referred to as “a nut job,” and repeated three separate times that he lived in “California.”

As do 39.5 million other people. 

Which then led him to expound on the greatness of his presidency, since those are the ones that lead people like Mr. Allen to gun them down.

I’ve studied assassinations and I must tell you the most impactful people, the people who do the most, they’re the ones they go after….And I hate to say I’m honored by that, but I’ve done a lot.”

There It Is GIFs | Tenor
knew he’d turn it around

There were no arguments or follow-up questions about the latter.

It also stands as an indisputable fact.

The Clash – “Know Your Rights”

Why’s it All So Surreal?

I like movies and TV shows that earn your trust and make you believe what is, by definition, contrived.

Yes, all movies and tv shows are contrived.

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obviously

As I tell my writing students when they resist a good plot point in their work because they fear it will come off as artificial: 

What you really fear is that it will seem contrived.

Meaning every writer’s, or liar’s, job is to massage a moment to the point where it seems perfectly believable for the person in the moment they’re in. 

This has worked for me as a writer, and as a college professor, for most of my adult life.

But what do you do when the actual events in the world seem too ludicrous to be true in the reality you’ve lived in for all of your life?

Ok but it’s still really bad, right?

And what effect will that have on you and all others falling under the dreaded monicker of content creators (Note: Ugh, I hate that term, it preemptively makes us all sound like we’re A.I. assembly-line worker bees, which I suppose is the point) going forward?

Is there no action a person or character takes that could be deemed too outlandish?  Will there be no plot point out of the bounds of logic?

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NO RULES

Can an American POTUS publicly attack the sitting Pope – the leader of approximately 1.3 billion Catholics – as “a tool of the radical left,” “weak on crime,” and “disgraceful” as he simultaneously posts a picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick to millions of his followers on social media?

What about a U.S. Secretary of Defense holding a worship service at the Pentagon (Note: Normally we could stop there) where he quotes what professes to be a bible verse from Ezekiel 25:17 that is actually A SPEECH WRITTEN BY director-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino to mimic a bible verse delivered by a fictional hitman played by Samuel L. Jackson in the 1994 breakout hit, Pulp Fiction???

Pulp Fiction GIFs | Tenor
You gotta be kidding me

The answers are being rewritten even as I write, and every time one awakes to another bizarre rant from [Fill in the world “leader” (ahem) of your choice].

This week I went to an actual movie theatre to see The Drama, a sort of oddball mélange of rom-com, pathos, suspense and cross-cutting frenzy fueled by the star power of Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Zendaya & Robert Pattinson On How They Built Their Chemistry For 'The Drama'
Criminally attractive people

Playing a Gen Z meet-cute couple about to be married and thus subject to a few nervous drunken nights with friends, the film essentially poses the bizarre question:  What would Mr. Pattinson’s character do if this fantasy gal he was in love with, nee Zendaya’s character, admitted that she almost did a school shooting when she was a teenager?

She DID NOT DO IT, mind you.  She just thought about it and planned a little of it until logic and goodwill won her over.

Yes, it’s concerning, but… would it cause you as Mr. Pattinson (Note: You wish!) to melt down to the point where you  __________, or prompt more than a few friends or co-workers to advise you to call the police and have her arrested for something she never did years ago?

Hot Robert Pattinson GIFs | PS Celebrity
Really Robby?

Call me crazy, but I had some issue with that. 

On the other hand, I didn’t grow up with school shooting drills or in a time when being gunned en masse in junior high school was a possibility. (Note: The worst it got for me was being jabbed by several long sharp knitting needles going up the stairs to class by several very tough girls in school that I avoided at all costs).

As for the students I sent to see The Drama, some agreed with me but many didn’t at all have an issue with it.  Nor, obviously, did, Z or RPatz, who signed on to do the script.  Nor did many filmgoers, as $110 million worldwide at the box-office proves.

Or does it?

Review: "The Drama" is a Nightmare to Watch and Even Worse to Describe -  Blog - The Film Experience
Box office don’t lie!

Maybe it was simply RPatz & Z they wanted to see.  And who could blame them?  They seem cooler and hotter than any one of us will ever be in whatever they do onscreen, which is part of what makes them movie stars in the first place.

Not every TV show has to be as believable as the E.R. workers in The Pitt, or create as convincing of an earned alternate reality the innies and outies are given in Severance.

Why everyone is telling you to watch The Pitt
Why am I only talking about handsome Robbys?!?

And certainly we don’t require everything to be as smart, dense and grounded in the actual politics of its day as Oppenheimer.  The well-reviewed and well-attended response to the campy and luxuriously contrived Barbie, which went on to create that beloved Barbenheimer effect in the summer of 2023 is evidence of that.

A quaint time three years ago when there was something for everyone.

Not the current, creeping, heat-seeking reality of almost everything for just a few.

Charlie and Emma’s Wedding Video (From “The Drama”)