Hear No Evil?

This week I sat in a chair at the office of an ENT doc as he used long, thin metal forceps, dozens of tubes of gushing warm water and multiple doses of room temperature air administered through a plastic cone to remove wax and hair and god knows what else out of my ears.

I tell you this not to gross you out but to reveal that sometimes getting older and not being able to hear as well as you once did does not mean you are going deaf.

old man with ear trumpets Memes & GIFs - Imgflip
Not me, I swear

It means your ears have literally clogged themselves.

So imagine what we’re doing to our minds.

OK, we’ll get to that in a moment. 

For now let’s stay with the ears.

GIANTMONSTER
Come again?

If they’re backed up please know you have done nothing wrong

Despite the fact that this medical professional at one point (during more than a full hour of this) looked at me and asked, when was the last time you had your ears cleaned?

To which I replied:

I didn’t even know that was a thing. I mean, I’m very diligent about this kind of stuff.   (Note:  Defensive but seriously, I am NOT a dirty person…in that way)  And aren’t you supposed to not dig too deep with a Q-tip?

He kind of chuckled, said yes, and continued his work.

Dont Judge Me Stop Judging Me GIF - Dont Judge Me Stop Judging Me Can You  Not - Discover & Share GIFs
Not today, sir

I never did find out if he kind of blamed me but I didn’t care.

Because by the time he was done and I had my hearing checked (Note: Normal) the most bizarre thing happened. 

Suddenly everything was….

LOUD.  Like, really

LOUD.

Loud Noises GIFs | Tenor
EVERYWHERE

It felt like everyone was a member of the LOUD family from SNL (Note: As opposed to PBS’ Loud family, which was a whole other thing – ask a boomer, or the LOUD family of Nickelodeon – ask a Gen Zer) saying the most innocuous things you didn’t want reverberating in your brain.

Imagine how I then felt going down the elevator when a baby was crying and a young woman speaking on her cell phone suddenly got disconnected. (Note: Okay, I enjoyed the latter).

But by the time I got into my car, where the radio turned on automatically, it was

CRUSHINGCRUSHINGCRUSHINGCRUSHING!!!

Cover My Ears GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Channeling my inner Bea

Was I really listening to the Broadway channel at this decibel??? 

Well, perhaps I really wanted to hear Les Misérables.

But then I lowered it and switched to MSNOW.  It was still BLASTING.  And about you know who threatening to tear down the Kennedy Center.

You might want to listen – Reaction GIFs
I don’t know if I do, Barack!

Is this the kind of stuff I was feeding into my brain and, when the windows were open, out into the world?

No wonder I’ve been so les misérables lately.

Les Miserable GIFs | Tenor
We see what you did there, Chairy

This got me thinking about so many things.  But mostly about what all of us are trying so desperately to hear and not hear so many hours of the day.

And view.

What are we choosing to pollute our brains with? 

And exactly what is an influencer?

Who are all these other people??

Because when you hear everything shouting out so loud at decibels you can barely endure you more than ever stop and begin to consider that maybe it would be better to turn it all off and…

BE SILENT.

Then reboot with something, anything else for at least a palette cleanser or at most bit more main course nourishing.

I was reading an article in The Atlantic the other day entitled, The Age of Reading Is Over. Much to my judgmental surprise I found out towards the end it was written by a young woman in her twenties, one who grew up in a “family of readers,” where her Dad read to and with her from books almost every night through middle school and, several years later, her older sisters invited her to join their book club.

Her name is Rose Horowitch and her extensive reportage on the subject is sobering and, yes, well worth a READ.

a man wearing sunglasses and a suit is standing in front of a brick wall and says `` cause reading is what ? ''
What Rose (and Ru) said

It was reported a few years ago by the NEA (National Endowment for the Arts), which once did the most comprehensive survey of the nation’s reading habits, that in 2022  fewer than half of all adults reported reading ANY KIND OF BOOK all year.

Not Catcher in the Rye.  Not Catch-22. Not even The Cat in the Hat.

And this was across all age groups, education levels and demographics.  And included audio and e-books.

Discover 36 Someecards and reading habits humor ideas | reading habit  humor, book humor reading, happy birthday book lover meme and more
Indeed a thing of the past

After giving us a history of reading dating back more than several thousands years, she also quotes numerous social scientists and neurological experts about the dangers to the brain of watching short clips and scanning short paragraphs of condensed summaries of books on your phone and computer rather than the entire thing.

And what happens when you get your information mostly from social media.  Or use A.I. intelligence to compose your emails or spit out a few bullet points about the most important issues of your world, or even of the day.

Brain Mush GIFs | Tenor
Something like this

We don’t become illiterate but do lose the ability for any sort of “complex cognitive thinking.” And since reading a word, a phrase, or an entire book literally changes your brain, as experts report, then imagine what a steady diet of the wrong words, or the absence of anything new or meaningful, steers you towards.

And then couple that with what you actually see.  And HEAR. 

Or, well, choose to hear.

Brain rot skibidi : r/memes
Yeeps

There is nothing wrong with being entertained.  We all have to escape and turn off the noise.

But do we want to lie back and solely have our brains fed by a machine that presents a skewed version of the world according to the way it has been programmed?

Do we want to mostly shut off deep thinking about the arts in favor of a poster board with a mere phrase like, say, KENNEDY CENTER DEMOLITION??

Cartoons Friday! - by Greg Mitchell
Enough with the tantrums!

And when we get to listen clearly to a song in order to celebrate, will the pinnacle of what we HEAR as a victory tune really going to be YMCA on a loop?

I mean, I like The Village People as much as the next gay, but…..

WATCH the video, READ the words and really THINK about it.

The Village People – “YMCA”

Influencers of the Damned

I’ll keep this brief.

When I was a kid there was Josephine the Plumber selling me Comet and Madge the Manicurist selling me Palmolive dishwashing soap. 

Okay, my Mom was the target audience but nevertheless I liked them and thought they were lots of fun. 

But neither I, nor almost anyone else, ever thought they were real.

Hello ladies!

Josephine was a can-do, no b.s. kind of gal in white overalls, the kind of person you’d expect to see playing Aunt Eller in a regional theatre production of Oklahoma if the character of Josephine actually existed and was not a creation of Madison Ave. and veteran comic movie actress Jane Withers.

As for Madge, she wore a pale blue uniform and seemed to have been around long enough to impart to you not only the latest gossip but many of the most carefully kept beauty secrets of the world.  Among them was her reveal to a rather shocked customer in every TV commercial over 30 years that the tray of dewy liquid she had their fingers dunked in at the nail station was actually Palmolive soap.

Palmolive Palmolive Naturals GIF - Palmolive Palmolive Naturals Julia  Barretto - Discover & Share GIFs
Oh Madge, you genius

How she managed to convince millions of 1960s housewives that hand washing their dishes with this stuff was the equivalent of bathing their hands in a youthful elixir was in large part due to Jan Miner, the classically trained theatre actress who had a long career both on and off-Broadway, including numerous Shakesperean productions.

Now, there is nothing wrong using your natural talents to create and promote all sorts of things.  After all, we humans need to make a living.

What is troubling to The Chair, aka Me, was this article on the cover of the NY Times Arts section on Saturday

What a headline

It described the labors of a large handful of A.I. “creators,” and several A.I. content firms that employ them.  It seems they are hard at work on building dozens of “personas” of artificial people to sell products, expertise and even images of beauty so all of us real people can become just like their advanced selves. 

Talk about chasing the dragon…

Close Blinds GIFs | Tenor
I think I’ve seen enough.

Many of these artificial people will even be given pseudo real-life backstory bios to make us relate to and trust them and subscribe to what they are selling.  Things like a dead brother, a history of being bullied they had to overcome or a broken love affair that almost destroyed them.

Is nothing sacred?  Not even a lousy boyfriend in my past???

No Secrets GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Only you and your phone recording your every thought and word knows

Yes, that was rhetorical.

In some cases, such as the literal fake pouty blonde model who didn’t exist that was used by Guess in an ad last summer in Vogue, they want young women to aspire to look like them.

Parents beware. 

AI in 'Vogue' shakes the industry: visionary fashion move or a death knell  for real models?
Is the print hypnotizing on purpose?

As well as anyone who thought they ever looked good in a pair of jeans.

Well, perhaps this is old news.

No doubt, many of you have heard about the literal fake movie actress named Tilly Norwood that has an agent and a planned feature film in the works. I even wrote about it here. 

But it seems she is just the tip of the Waymos, I mean, sidewalk delivery robots, I mean BellaBots, I mean _____________.

Waymo death gif | Steph Davidson | design motion and code
My fate in a Waymo

Here are some influencers, sellers, personas – aka 2026-2030’s version of Josephine and Madge – to come that the NY Times so generously reported on:

Lila Walker, a ginger-haired granola girl that specializes in and hawks tips on knitting and crafting.

Nigel Thistledown, a white-bearded, bow-tied, beret-wearing, tea-sipping British gent who knows everything about gardening since he’s seated in his A.I. garden.

And finally, V. V. Steele, a snarky celebrity gossip who, according to this report, is a physical mashup of Kim Kardashian, Angelina Jolie and Veronica Lodge (Note: The latter from Archie comics fame).

First tip off – no one has lighting this good

Since A.I. uses images and knowledge of pretty much everything that has ever been posted, recorded, photographed or written about in existence, there will be no significant participation for pretty much any of the above, or any of us, who might have posted a thing or two about growing a plant, crocheting a sweater or predicting the next celebrity scandal.

Instead, the corporations/conglomerates/oligarchs who own the companies employing what I like to call the “faux creative button pushers” responsible for this digital slop will be the ones making the major dough.

That, is, if we frequent their non-human creation/things and what they are selling.

Why I'm declining your AI generated MR - Stuart Spence Blog
The AI slop bots are the new fire

At least, Jane Withers and Jan Miner got to buy houses, do local theatre and support their families with their money. 

Every other human being who ever sold you anything on a commercial, or at any real-life brick store, also got paid to for their efforts.

Even it wasn’t enough, at least it was at a living wage.

Who Is Flo from Progressive ? - TheMarketingblog
Protect Flo at all costs!

Because in some cases, they needed that money to do essential human things. 

Like eat.

A.I. personas, bot things and digitized inventions based on all the niche knowledge in all the fields we, as a society, have generated, do not have to feed in the literal sense.

Though they are already feeding on us in other essential ways.

Editorial cartoon: AI eats the world
Eat up

And unless we stop treating the acceptance of “them” and their “creators” as some sort of inevitable, unrestrainable progress, our fair share in every essential field in the zeitgeist will be swallowed whole by the lot of them.

Led by the oligarchical, uber elite who think we’re too dumb to notice.

Palmolive Commercial – Madge