Why’s it All So Surreal?

I like movies and TV shows that earn your trust and make you believe what is, by definition, contrived.

Yes, all movies and tv shows are contrived.

When you finally get your gif to upload coreectly - GIF - Imgur
obviously

As I tell my writing students when they resist a good plot point in their work because they fear it will come off as artificial: 

What you really fear is that it will seem contrived.

Meaning every writer’s, or liar’s, job is to massage a moment to the point where it seems perfectly believable for the person in the moment they’re in. 

This has worked for me as a writer, and as a college professor, for most of my adult life.

But what do you do when the actual events in the world seem too ludicrous to be true in the reality you’ve lived in for all of your life?

Ok but it’s still really bad, right?

And what effect will that have on you and all others falling under the dreaded monicker of content creators (Note: Ugh, I hate that term, it preemptively makes us all sound like we’re A.I. assembly-line worker bees, which I suppose is the point) going forward?

Is there no action a person or character takes that could be deemed too outlandish?  Will there be no plot point out of the bounds of logic?

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NO RULES

Can an American POTUS publicly attack the sitting Pope – the leader of approximately 1.3 billion Catholics – as “a tool of the radical left,” “weak on crime,” and “disgraceful” as he simultaneously posts a picture of himself as Jesus healing the sick to millions of his followers on social media?

What about a U.S. Secretary of Defense holding a worship service at the Pentagon (Note: Normally we could stop there) where he quotes what professes to be a bible verse from Ezekiel 25:17 that is actually A SPEECH WRITTEN BY director-screenwriter Quentin Tarantino to mimic a bible verse delivered by a fictional hitman played by Samuel L. Jackson in the 1994 breakout hit, Pulp Fiction???

Pulp Fiction GIFs | Tenor
You gotta be kidding me

The answers are being rewritten even as I write, and every time one awakes to another bizarre rant from [Fill in the world “leader” (ahem) of your choice].

This week I went to an actual movie theatre to see The Drama, a sort of oddball mélange of rom-com, pathos, suspense and cross-cutting frenzy fueled by the star power of Zendaya and Robert Pattinson.

Zendaya & Robert Pattinson On How They Built Their Chemistry For 'The Drama'
Criminally attractive people

Playing a Gen Z meet-cute couple about to be married and thus subject to a few nervous drunken nights with friends, the film essentially poses the bizarre question:  What would Mr. Pattinson’s character do if this fantasy gal he was in love with, nee Zendaya’s character, admitted that she almost did a school shooting when she was a teenager?

She DID NOT DO IT, mind you.  She just thought about it and planned a little of it until logic and goodwill won her over.

Yes, it’s concerning, but… would it cause you as Mr. Pattinson (Note: You wish!) to melt down to the point where you  __________, or prompt more than a few friends or co-workers to advise you to call the police and have her arrested for something she never did years ago?

Hot Robert Pattinson GIFs | PS Celebrity
Really Robby?

Call me crazy, but I had some issue with that. 

On the other hand, I didn’t grow up with school shooting drills or in a time when being gunned en masse in junior high school was a possibility. (Note: The worst it got for me was being jabbed by several long sharp knitting needles going up the stairs to class by several very tough girls in school that I avoided at all costs).

As for the students I sent to see The Drama, some agreed with me but many didn’t at all have an issue with it.  Nor, obviously, did, Z or RPatz, who signed on to do the script.  Nor did many filmgoers, as $110 million worldwide at the box-office proves.

Or does it?

Review: "The Drama" is a Nightmare to Watch and Even Worse to Describe -  Blog - The Film Experience
Box office don’t lie!

Maybe it was simply RPatz & Z they wanted to see.  And who could blame them?  They seem cooler and hotter than any one of us will ever be in whatever they do onscreen, which is part of what makes them movie stars in the first place.

Not every TV show has to be as believable as the E.R. workers in The Pitt, or create as convincing of an earned alternate reality the innies and outies are given in Severance.

Why everyone is telling you to watch The Pitt
Why am I only talking about handsome Robbys?!?

And certainly we don’t require everything to be as smart, dense and grounded in the actual politics of its day as Oppenheimer.  The well-reviewed and well-attended response to the campy and luxuriously contrived Barbie, which went on to create that beloved Barbenheimer effect in the summer of 2023 is evidence of that.

A quaint time three years ago when there was something for everyone.

Not the current, creeping, heat-seeking reality of almost everything for just a few.

Charlie and Emma’s Wedding Video (From “The Drama”)

It Begins

One of my resolutions for 2020 was to not get sidetracked by what ifs and to stop worrying about things I can’t control.

Don’t give me that look!

Aside from personal issues of life, health and death, that includes everything from who will win at the Oscars this year to the harrowing prospect that Donald J. Trump could be re-elected president of the United States.

Three weeks into 2020, I’ve already broken my vow.

Don’t judge me!

And not just once but many times over.

Still, hope springs eternal and not only because Quentin Tarantino was given Oscar’s precursor, the Golden Globe, for best screenplay over Noah Baumbach’s overrated Marriage Story.

No, what gave me hope this week was the pomp and circumstance of the Senate hearing that inaugurated the impeachment trial of Donald John Trump.

Let’s say that again.

Actually, let’s allow the actual words of the Sergeant of Arms in the U.S. Senate to say it for us:

Hear ye, Hear ye, Hear ye –

 All persons are COMMANDED – to keep silent on PAIN OF IMPRISONMENT– while the House of Representatives is exhibiting to the Senate of the United States articles of IMPEACHMENT- AGAINST – DONALD JOHN TRUMP – president of the United States…

Pete Souza’s shade really cannot be matched 🍑

Now, I’m not one for pomp and circumstance.  In high school, I finally found a real excuse not to stand up for the National Anthem due to my opposition against the Vietnam War.

Even in elementary school I remember thinking it was silly to put my hand over my heart and pledge allegiance to a ….flag?  I mean, what would THAT prove when no one could know what I, or anyone else, was really thinking?

Not to mention that to this day, whenever I see anyone bow before the Queen of England I’m still one-step short of appalled. A crown?  A scepter?  …Really?  (Note:  And yeah, that was the sound of me cheering the no longer Royal Harry and Meghan, for flying away to Canada and choosing to live in our real world of multi-million dollar endorsements.  Well, sort of).

She drives! She’s free! #ohcanada

Still…I could watch the pomp and circumstance, the formality, and the antiquated ceremonial loveliness of the invocation to the formal Senate trial that inaugurated Trump’s impeachment on Thursday every day on a loop until Quentin Tarantino’s OSCAR win for best original screenplay on Feb. 9th.

In fact, here it is now!

Hands up, baby hands up!

I suppose this makes me a bit of a hypocrite along with 63 plus million other American voters.  But after three years of immigrant kids in cages, our leader’s embrace of murderous, authoritarian world leaders over our long held allies (many of whom stood by our side in times of devastating war, most recently after 9/11), and a list of daily lies, corruptions and/or general nastiness to support his frail ego and questionable financial empire, the formality of a public ceremonial Trump guillotine in a court of law is looking pretty damned good.

Excuse me while I enjoy my tea

Our steely, and it turns out quiet prescient Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, recognized this when she finally agreed some months ago to skillfully open charges of impeachment against our Electoral College POTUS, though not for any of the aforementioned insurrections that enraged me (Note: And I would imagine “she”).

Rather, it took a rock solid case of Trump using his office to withhold billions of dollars in much needed foreign aid to a small country (Ukraine) in order to pressure them into helping him win re-election (i.e., dirt that could scandalize the potential Democrat most likely to run against him and beat him at the time, Joe Biden), that finally crossed the line.

It’s happening, it’s really happening

Rather than anger or hubris, her motivation – and lest anyone doubt it look over her many statements opposing impeachment over the last three years – were the guidelines set down by our Founding Fathers over two centuries ago in the U.S. Constitution.

As she explained to Bill Maher on his HBO series Real Time over the weekend:

…He (Trump) used the office of the president to try to influence a foreign country for his personal and political benefit and in doing so he undermined our national security.  He was disloyal to his oath of office to protect the Constitution and he placed in jeopardy the integrity of our election.  So really, he gave us no choice…

Earlier on, some of the charges, violations of the law, I said ‘he’s not worth it.’  But once he crossed that bridge it wasn’t a question of HIS being worth it.  The CONSTITUTION was worth it.  He HAD to be IMPEACHED.

My religious moment of 2020

Yet lest any of us think Speaker Pelosi, is above gloating just a smidge, it is worth noting that when asked what she’d say to Trump if he were watching, she smiled slyly, looked straight into the camera and proclaimed:

You are impeached forever.  No matter what the Senate does, it can NEVER be erased. 

That was Nancy D’Alesandro — a woman raised in a political powerhouse family where her father was mayor of Baltimore and later it’s Congressman, and her brother became city council president and later mayor — who was speaking.

A woman who not only understands the Constitution but is a maestro in the mixed martial arts of politics.

She doesn’t get sidetracked by what ifs or people and things she can’t control.

She simply stays in the moment, studies her options and then takes appropriate actions the way she sees fit, letting the chips fall where they may.

Yes she can

She also claims, and I believe her, not to HATE anyone.

One day, when we all grow up, we might to take a collective resolution to stay in the moment and be more like her.  In the meantime, let’s focus and at least try to do it until Tuesday, November 3, 2020.

Lou Reed – “This Magic Moment”