The Bear of Biden

Joe Biden is not demented or senile or any of the other lovely adjectives many nervous Democrats and Never Trump Republicans have been using to describe him.

What Pres Biden is – is 81 years old.

I mean… OK… I guess?

You get older and your voice gets hoarse, you sometimes jumble words (Note: Especially when you have a stutter) and on really bad days, you lose your train of thought.

This happens a lot more when you have a cold, you’ve been flying a lot or when you are tired and haven’t gotten enough sleep.

It’s not as if someone demented and senile can suddenly get up before a crowd of thousands, as he did the next day, and magically become coherent and charismatic.  I had a father who died last year at the age of 94.  Trust me, it just doesn’t happen.

None of this

Do doubters have a right to have a conversation, voice their opinions on his performance on Thursday night and be especially concerned since he’s running against an extremely dangerous, constantly lying, racist, cretinous aspiring dictator, multi-convicted felon like Donald Trump?

Certainly.  Of course.

But my God.

And I’m not even religious.

RELAX

If you simply go by the facts, this POTUS has been one of the most successful presidents in the modern era.  He led us out of COVID and got us vaccinated, created more jobs than any of our other leaders in recent memory and presided over what is arguably THE best economy in the world post COVID, not to mention the envy of the world.

Ask Canada and Great Britain.

We’re looking at you, Mr. Handsome

Yes, there’s inflation and eggs are too expensive.  I don’t like it and neither should you.  But a big part of that is the sheer greed of corporations and billionaires determined to raise prices to offset even a tiny dent in their record profits. 

They don’t like it that there is some modicum of environmental standards put back in place or the slightest increase of taxes they are required to pay to the country that has enabled them to grow their record profits for decades.  So they are passing it off to Y.O.U.

Yes, Meryl, yes

I refuse to write any more about how Trump will dismantle democracy and threaten peace in the world by dismantling NATO.  Or how he clearly looks down on anyone who is not rich and who is non-white (Note:  What exactly are “black” jobs?).  Or how he will use the right for women to control their bodies in order to regain the White House and further pack the Supreme Court with conservatives in order to stay out of jail.

You all get that.

The question is how we proceed.

We gotta put out the fire first!

Be clear.  President Biden is THE nominee of the Democratic Party.  He is not getting out of the race, nor should he. 

And if every nervous nellie got their way and the party ran scared, what do you think would happen?  Traditional wisdom tells us Kamala Harris, our sitting vice-president, would be our nominee. 

I think she’s great but do you think this will satisfy the doubters?

No.  They hate her poll numbers, which are far below those of Biden. 

We’re all there Lisa

So instead a lot of people are playing fantasy football with names like Gretchen Whitmer, Gavin Newsom, Josh Stein, Raphael Warnock, Pete Buttigieg and…Michelle Obama?

Seriously?????  Michelle HATES politics, almost as much as she loathes Trump.

We still love you Michelle

And what do you think every non-white Democratic voter would do if the only Black female vice-president in history, who previously was an effective senator from a state that has the fifth largest economy in the WORLD (Note: California, for those who like pop quizzes), was denied the nomination from their party?

They’d walk and it would be justified.  Not to mention many white voters, who’d find that scenario at best panic-driven or undesirable and at worst despicable and misogynistic.

So please.  I beg of everyone.

Stay with Biden and give this a chance. 

Please???

I get the concern.  But remember how he became the nominee, and in turn president, in the first place.  He was the ONLY candidate we could all agree on.  He might not have been many or most people’s first or second choice but he had the experience and nose to the grindstone ability to dig us out of the awful ditch the “orange turd” (Note: The term used by Stormy Daniels – the woman Trump said he NEVER HAD SEX WITH straight to your face on the debate stage) gave us.

Biden is factually correct about almost everything he said on that semi-disaster of a debate stage with ZERO fact checking from CNN.  Trump was almost 100% aggressively wrong.  Optics are important but they are not the sole reason to make a decision. 

Do I still need the fire extinguisher?

Most minds were not much changed either way in early focus groups post-debate.  And if we all work together with Pres. Biden and all those who loathe and detest Trump and love democracy, the Democratic Party can win not only the White House but BOTH houses of Congress.

Not to mention gain a few seats on the U.S. Supreme Court.

Oh no, he brought up SCOTUS. RUN!!!!!

I grew up the son of a bookie so I know in my bones that NOTHING is a sure thing.  Perhaps that is why I’m more comfortable with risk and playing the odds.  But here’s what I’ve learned after many decades of living:

All of life is risk with ZERO guarantees.  Every choice has consequences.  Including the choice to do nothing, sit out an election or vote third party, and deny the reality:

There are only TWO people who will win the U.S. presidency by the end of 2024. 

Donald Trump or Joe Biden.

Make YOUR choice while you still have A choice. 

To do anything.

And I do not look good in red

And after you do watch season three of FX’s The Bear on Hulu.  It’s brilliantly done and will get you thinking about choices and other existential questions in life far better than I can.

The Bear – Season 3 Trailer – AKA the 2024 U.S. Presidential Election Metaphor

2019, Take a Seat

I’m thinking of 2019 as the year of the bad breakup.  It was miserable, endless and painful and yet it had a few high points where you got some revenge and even won several arguments.

No, that’s not a particularly healthy way to think.  But it is satisfying and harmless if you only indulge at the end of the year.  Like a pizza dinner with fries on the side and a chocolate anything for dessert.  Or sex with the wrong person.

Yeah, I said it.

No one really wants to look back on a year such as this one but as 2019 comes to a close a handful of moments might be worth remembering.  That is aside from teenage environmental activist Greta Thunberg taking every one of us over forty out to the virtual woodshed for destroying the planet over the last 30 years.

Some moments are in a class by themselves and have far more meaning than the off year in which they occurred.

And with that:

THE CHAIR’S BEST OF LIST:

The Finger Point Seen Round the World

On point

Say what you will about Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi but her total domination of the Electoral College POTUS who thinks He’s King in 2019 was one dependable, if sporadic, joy to behold.  This was typified by that October still photo Trump tweeted of her dressing down the sort of prez over his Syrian policy with her words AND her finger with the attempted shaming caption, Nervous Nancy’s Unhinged Meltdown!

Only he could never imagine she would embrace an image where she was confronting a table full of clueless straight white men who could barely look her in the face, make it her Twitter cover photo and in turn have it embraced as THE symbol of female empowerment and popular resistance to the patriarchy heard round the world.

AND you thought she couldn’t top last year’s meme of her leaving the White House in that red coat and oversized sunglasses…

The Strangest and Best TV Special that Shouldn’t Exist but Does

How did this get made?

Netflix’s John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch is exhibit A in defense of Netflix because it’s hard to imagine it would get green lit by or as widely seen on any other platform in the world.

But how to describe it?

Well, see, there’s this smart comic named John Mulaney (Note: Co-creator of SNL’s Stefon) who had an Emmy winning Netflix special last year and thought for his fellow-up he’d mix it up with a group of musical theatre pre-teens he gets to sing, dance and emote with in a post-modern remix version of the eighties kids shows Electric Company and Zoom!

This, of course, sells everything about the program way, way, waaaaay short.

Intrigued, confused, weirded out? All of the above.

Suffice it to say any show that features The Talking Heads’ David Byrne, Broadway’s Andrew De Shields and moviedom’s star Jake Gyllenhaal singing along to Mulaney-penned or approved original material with youngsters who have much better voices than they do is worth seeing.

If that doesn’t grab you how about a young guy warbling Sascha’s Dad Does Drag, another singing, Grandma’s Got A Boyfriend or a young woman getting to wear David Byrne’s iconic big suit while dueting Pay Attention with him?

No?

What about Jake in a colorful xylophone jacket having a sweaty nervous breakdown as he desperately and unsuccessfully tries to convince us of the places where he is sure music sprang from.

Are you sure I’m not on drugs?

Be honest.  You like to watch….don’t you?

The Unforgettable Performance

Clang, clang, clang goes the Oscar?

Judy Garland is likely the most imitated performer in the history of show business.  Or at least in every gay bar across the world, which is, let’s face it, where all of show business sprang from.

That is why Renee Zellweger’s incredible performance in title role of Judy, a film that chronicles Garland’s final musical comeback towards the end of her life, is such an achievement (see my post about that here).

It’s not so much that she delivers a carbon copy imitation.  It’s more that she manages to evoke the very tremulous essence of the vulnerable performer and turn her into a recognizable brew of strengths and weaknesses that each of us can relate to.

… and she did indeed #tehehe

On paper this might have seemed like a disaster, especially since there is nowhere to hide when half the film is shot in close-ups and two-shots of you either alone or pulling focus from others by just being you (nee Her).  That Zellweger manages to pull this off (and then some) in a film that will likely win her the competitive best actress Oscar that eluded the real Judy is sweet.  Even sweeter for her is the fact that it has vaulted her right back on top of contemporary Hollywood after the tongue waggers-that-be delighted some years ago in categorizing her as already past her prime before she even turned 50.

Tee-hee.  Hee.

Best Shirtless Brad Pitt Moment

You’re Welcome

He’s 56 years old and it was in Once Upon A Time in Hollywood.  Without CGI.  That is all.

Priceless Mean Girls Moment

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, French president Emmanuel Macron and British Prime Minister Boris Johnson huddled together at this year’s NATO summit dishing Electoral POTUS Donald Trump and it made us ALL feel better about being human.

Oh, OF COURSE NO ONE IS CONDONING GOSSIP OR BITCHY BEHAVIOR!!

Still, Mean Girls was a best-selling book, a hit movie, and a Broadway musical that ran for almost two years and will likely be playing at a city near you in 2020 so there must be something to it.

We all know Regina George would make Electoral POTUS cry.

Sure, the best strategy with a know-nothing bully is not stooping to their level.  But we all need to blow off steam, and preferably where they are in close enough proximity to know that you HATE them!!!!

Not to mention, the message must have gotten through.  Trump promptly left the summit early just a day later in a huff, knowing he was not wanted.

Wait….you feel bad?  Really???????

Because his latest revenge against Trudeau, hot off the presses:  Trump and his son, Donald Trump, Jr., tweeting that it was the Canadian Prime Minister who was responsible for Sr’s cameo in Home Alone: 2 (1992) getting cut from Canadian television over this year’s Christmas holidays.

As if!!!

Best Joyous Hate Watching

Will you ever forget…the very first moment in 2019….that you saw…….the trailer to……the movie version of………CATS????

The fake fur, the pointy ears, the strange facial expressions and inhuman semi-sexual gyrations.  It delivered everything and more…or less.  Universal recently took the historic step of actually announcing that after a week in release it was redoing some of the special effects and issuing new versions of the print to the thousands of theatres it was playing.

Our response to that is:  PLEASE DON’T.

Nailed it!

Don’t change a frame for those of us who are waiting to stream it…along with a side of magic mushr—well, something.

And this just in from the gift that keeps on giving:  Dame Judy Dench was only just a handful of days ago quoted as saying her cat, Old Deuteronomy, is…transgender!

Please don’t make it stop.  Now OR forever.

And finally – THE Prophetic Musical Moment

Taylor Swift was much more than a regrettable 2019 supporting turn in Cats.  Sure, her You Need To Calm Down record and video is a song about LGBTQ equality and acceptance.  On the surface.  But in a sense, isn’t it also the overriding message to all of us when we reflect on the entire year and strategize for what’s inevitably to come in 2020??

Taylor Swift – “You Need to Calm Down”

Want more Chair 2019 takes? Dip into our archive and find gems like: The Chair Sees Hadestown with Hillary Clinton (plus Woke-lahoma review), Farewell Dear Rhoda, Paul Rudd Refuses to Age, Prince George Can Dance If He Wants To!, and lots of love for When They See Us, Fosse/Verdon, USand more.