Oh Mary

The fastest selling book in Simon and Schuster’s almost 100 year history debuted this week and it was written by — Mary L. Trump, Ph.D.

It is entitled Too Much And Never Enough, How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man and in a very brisk 225 pages it gives us the unvarnished details of what it’s like to grow up in the extremely dysfunctional and just plain mean Trump family.

We ready

It also sheds light on why she believes our current president is a mentally ill sociopath with an inability to care about anyone but himself.  The book contains an enormous amount of stories about the endless string of Donald lies, Donald incompetence, Donald bullying and, well, pretty much every other type of anti-social behavior any Donald could display short of murder, from the time he was very young up through the present day.

Ms. Trump, 55, is the niece of our current POTUS, Donald J. Trump, and a clinical psychologist who spent quite a lot of time around Donald, his siblings and his parents (Note: Her grandparents) growing up.  So she knows whereof she speaks.

She is also a lesbian.

Gasp!

Well, to be fair, in the late nineties she was married to a woman for an extended period of time, they had a child together, later divorced and she now raises and lives with their teenage daughter.

So at the very least she is a member of the LGBTQ community.

This in no way is an outing of Ms. Trump, who rightly neither hides her sexuality nor dwells on it in her best seller.

But in watching and reading the myriad of coverage about her life and the book roll out, it’s impossible not to notice that the one person in the extended Trump inner family clan strong enough to make a full and healthy break away from all that immorality and, umm, financial dysfunction – and live to come clean about it to the world – is gay.

Perhaps made even more impactful while being interviewed by Rachel

We gay people certainly have as many faults as anyone but the one thing we do know how to do is open a closet door and let the truth come out.

Our very lives are an embodiment of the old adage the truth will set you free because for the vast majority of us it has.

For those of us of a certain age (Note: Ms. Trump is younger than me but still of my generation), and still, for some, of any age, this has not always been easy.  But once we realize it’s not the end of the world but the beginning of a brighter new one, we’re far less likely to be the keeper of anyone’s dirty little secrets, especially when they cross us.

Run Tippy, Run

In short, the Trumps were f-ckng with the wrong person when Mary finally found out after many, many decades, that Donald and his siblings had financially f-cked her and her brother over to the tune of many tens of millions of dollars.

(Note: Buy the book and google her in the NY Times and you can read endless articles about how the family undervalued the size of her grandfather’s estate and threatened to withhold health insurance from her brother’s very sick baby until she and her brother capitulated for a pittance of their inheritance).

Still, this does not appear to be the primary motivator for why Ms. Trump wrote her book, which sold ALMOST 1,000,000 copies in its FIRST DAY.  Rather, it was Donald playing out the same type of lies he had perpetrated upon her and other family members to enrich himself from his father’s estate on the entire country that tipped her hand.

Just a litttttttle bit late, Mary

Watching him lie and deny the plan to put immigrant children in cages or expound on the virtues of KKK members instead of defending the Jews and people of color they wanted to exterminate, was an all too familiar playbook.

In the Trump family, you did what you were told because to not do so would cost you your standing in the inner circle.  To maintain the power, the protection and the position – even if all those brought you were scraps – you kept your mouth shut (nee lied) or risked being thrown out and DESTROYED.

That is what Donald did through the years to all his rivals and perceived enemies (nee EVERYONE), especially Mary’s alcoholic father, Freddy, who died broken and penniless at the hands of the family and Donald at the age of 42.

Again, all of this is recounted in very readable stories throughout the book in ways that are surprisingly even-handed and, even a bit sympathetic, towards Donald.  It’s what gives Too Much and Never Enough its power, and its undeniable ring of truth.

Plus it’s mega ratings

Still, while most readers will no doubt linger on all things Donald, and how his equally sociopathic father Fred, Sr. preyed on each member of their clan and then the outside world to their maximum personal benefits, it is the moment that Mary Trump finally owns her power to us as an LGBTQ woman that most stood out to me.

All through her life, Ms. Trump watched as her father Freddy was shamed into believing he was a failure by the only family that she or he knew, one that they were led to believe they were beholden to (Note: Because they indeed, were; see the above DESTROYED) for personal survival.  Yet many years after Freddy died, Mary still remained close to her grandfather, Fred, Sr., and her grandmother, who she called Gam.

It is with this history she recalls the last two weeks of her grandfather’s life in June, 1999, and how some of the family (Note: Though not Donald) gathered around the dying Fred, Sr.’s hospital bed.

More tea cometh

Her grandmother, Gam, sat in a chair, an aunt held his hand, while another aunt stood to the side with Mary, bemoaning the fact that she and her husband (Fred Sr.’s youngest son / Donald’s youngest brother) would have to postpone their London trip with Prince Charles because of Fred’s likely passing.

He invited us to one of his polo matches.  I can’t believe we had to cancel, her aunt noted in an exasperated and too loud voice that others would likely hear yet, in true Trump fashion, not react to one way or the other.  At which time Mary reveals the following to us:

I could have topped that story.  In a week I was supposed to be getting married on a beach in Maui.  Nobody in the family knew; they’d always been spectacularly uninterested in my personal life (when necessary, I asked a guy friend to accompany me to any family occasion that required a plus one) and never asked about my boyfriends or relationships.

A couple of years earlier, Gam and I had been talking about Princess Diana’s funeral, and when she had said with some vehemence, ‘It’s a disgrace they’re letting that little faggot Elton John sing at the service,’ I’d realized it was better that she didn’t know I was living with and engaged to a woman.

Seeing how serious my grandfather’s condition was, I had a terrible feeling that when I got home, I’d have to break the news to my fiancée that, after months of planning and overcoming logistical nightmares, our mostly secret wedding would have to be postponed.

As it turned out the wedding was postponed and Fred, Sr. died several weeks later.

Sums it up

The entire Trump family attended the funeral, including Mary, yet Mary was the only one to escort Gam, her grandmother, home and sit with her for several hours more in the house she had shared with her husband for more than 30 years so she wouldn’t have to be alone.

Any number of LGBTQ people from dysfunctional families will read the above passage and recognize a familiar scene. The single young thirty something with no discernible life taking care of the elderly relative the straight, married siblings don’t quite want to be bothered with or can’t be because they have a family.

But equally familiar to some will be the scene some 30 pages later when her Gam also turns on Mary once Mary and her brother realize they are not receiving their own father’s share of his inheritance from Fred, Sr.

Will we be shocked by any of this?

Apparently it was Donald’s edict that unless Mary and her brother disavowed their claims to their share and let Donald and the remaining siblings have the many more millions, her brother’s permanently disabled baby, would lose his Trump family health insurance, which he was guaranteed to in perpetuity and, in fact, needed in order to be able to survive with round the clock care.

Now not quite sure of what to do, Mary gets a call from Gam who not only tersely tell her off amid Mary’s protestation, but to pound her point home, admonishes her with these choice words: Do you know what your father was worth when he died?  A whole lot of nothing.

 Not knowing what to say, Mary pauses.  At which point there is a click. Gam had hung up on her. In fact, Gam never spoke with her again.

It took awhile but after all this time Mary Trump is finally talking back to the entire Trump clan, most especially about their leader, and ours, Uncle Donald.  Like many in her community, it’s taken almost a full lifetime for her to embrace her voice and the entire truth about who she is and where she came from full throttle.

Now that she has it would behoove us, ALL OF US, to listen.

Sly and the Family Stone – “Family Affair” 

Hello Lady G

There is only so much a white guy like me should weigh in on in regards to Black Lives Matter and the coast–to-coast protests regarding the very recent public execution of George Floyd via the knee of a white Minneapolis police officer.

Us white people could say a lot, and many of us have as we’ve lent our support and voices to nationwide (and international) street protests, but even more important is LISTENING and really HEARING.

However, if you happen to be a white GAY guy like me, there is something you most certainly can and should weigh in on.  And that’s the outing of Lady G.

No not LADY GAGA, who happens to have a new album (Chromatica) out now, but LADY G.

Make that a HELL NO

Who is Lady G?

Well, pretty much the opposite of Lady Gaga.

Lady G is a pseudonym for a longtime U.S. senator from South Carolina at the top echelons of power in this country (Note:  Chair of the Judiciary Committee and a frequent golfing companion to Electoral College President Donald J. Trump. And no, it’s not Tim Scott, South Carolina’s junior, and only OTHER, senator).

Oh no.. I’m shocked.. can’t believe it…

Lady G is also, more importantly, someone who has consistently and vociferously publicly denied being homosexual while very consistently and very vociferously voting and advocating AGAINST every major piece of legislation/law in support of the LGBTQ community for the last two decades.

Lady G voted:

  • Against same sex marriage, compared it to polygamy, said changing marriage would be only to suit the gay agenda and that, most importantly, it was against the national interest.
  • For the Federal Marriage Amendment (Note: To enshrine in the US Constitution that marriage be between a man and a woman) because a handful of liberal judges in Massachusetts should not be able to change the definition of marriage for the rest of the country.
  • Against including LGBT people in the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, claiming it was unnecessary.
  • Against same-sex couple adoptions, because to change the adoption laws to recognize same-sex couples, would be not consistent with our state (South Carolina).
  • Against including LGBTQ people in the federal hate crimes bill, proclaiming there was no need and it would ultimately divide America.
  • Against the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell because there was no groundswell of opposition to it within the military. (Note: And later criticized its repeal, arguing it would cause an increased risk of casualties).

We could go on and on and on but click here for more info.

Yep, we are with you Gaga

Some of the above is what spurred a gay adult film actor and sex worker (nee escort for hire) named Sean Harding to several days ago post the following on Twitter:

There is a homophobic republican senator who is no better than Trump who keeps passing legislation that is damaging to the lgbt and minority communities. Every sex worker I know has been hired by this man. Wondering if enough of us spoke out if that could get him out of office?

Since then at least two other sex workers have personally come forward to Mr. Harding with corroborating stories about the senator that go back for years.   Not to mention Mr. Harding and the Lady G moniker began trending on Twitter.

Cue Pence clutching his pearls…

Many more sex workers have also posted online about similar encounters with Lady G but, like Mr. Harding, they are a bit frightened to come forward because they all signed NDAs (non-disclosure agreements) about their encounters since the Lady is a very experienced attorney.

Yet in the truth telling age of sex workers like Stormy Daniels, Mr. Harding and his colleagues are in the process of hiring legal representation in order to unmuzzle themselves and speak their truths.  The latter would presumably include giving specific and indisputable details of their encounters with their said client.

So — what is their end game?

To expose this senator for the hypocrite that he is and get him voted out of office.

Time’s up… for both of you

See, if Lady G were not in such a public and powerful position to continue to do so much damage to a community he claims to NOT be a part of but clearly IS a part of, there could be a debate about things like a right to privacy.

But when a person of power is instrumental in passing and arm-twisting for legislation that publicly criticizes, condemns and denies rights most specifically TO that community, all bets are off.

Unlike people of color, there are those in the gay community who can hide their identities, publicly blend in and actively participate in the repression of that which they would ideally choose not to be in the name of career or some twisted sense of self-loathing morality.

Certainly they have a right to do this.

In the same way that those in that repressed community have the right to speak out and fight back against that said repression.

This is not to equate this fight to what is currently going on in our streets in the name of Black Lives Matter.  It is simply to point out that nothing will change if we continue to sweep hypocrisy under the rug and fail to speak truth to power.

Lady G was once far ahead in the polls for reelection in 2020 and is now polling dead even (Note: Even pre Mr. Harding’s tweet) with the competing candidate from the Democratic Party.

Take down time (amazing photo from Mother Jones)

Ironically this person is a Black man who has never held public office but has an impeccable and extensive resume in both the private and public sector.  He is the current associate chairman and counselor to the DNC and his name Jaime Harrison.

Mr. Harrison is the former head of the South Carolina Democratic Party, a political science graduate from Yale University who went on to receive a law degree from Georgetown University, a former high school teacher, a former leader of a non-profit (College Summit) that helps low income youth find a path to college and a career, and former director of floor operations for Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC)  (Note: A longtime Joe Biden confidante) when he was Minority Whip of the House.

In addition to his current duties at the Democratic National Committee, Mr. Harrison has in his more recent past even co-taught a course at the University of South Carolina with Matt Moore, a political rival but also his very good friend who happens to be the chairman of South Carolina’s Republican Party.

Go Jaime Go!

Prior to and all during his campaign Mr. Harrison has consistently stated that he doesn’t see his message to voters in the traditional progressive vs. conservative/ Democratic vs. Republican mindset but instead notes it’s really going to boil down to right vs. wrong.

Of course in the long run, that’s what it always boils down to – whether you’re a sex worker, politician or voter.

Lady Gaga (ft. Ariana Grande) – “Rain on Me”