Adieu ’22

I avoid ever saying this is the worst about anything because to me that is tempting fate.  

Invariably life will answer you back with, really, then try this, and you will find yourself wishing and dreaming and hoping of what you once thought was the worst because in retrospect you had no idea how truly “worst” things could get.

Somehow it can still get worse

All that being said, 2022 was by no means a STELLAR year.

If it wasn’t the WORST, and clearly it wasn’t in case life is listening, it was by no means the BEST.

I will cop to the fact that it was better than sitting quarantined at home in an infinity number of Zoom chats, as we were in 2020 and large swaths of 2021.  It was also preferable to the morning after Election Day 2016 or that time in 2006 when Crash won the Oscar for best picture over Brokeback Mountain (Note:  March 5th, somewhere between 8 and 9pm PST, to be exact.  Not that I hold grudges.  Much). 

Promise.

I watched Black Panther: Wakanda Forever the other night and I quite enjoyed it.  Or let’s say, it hit home with me and I wasn’t bored, which is more than I can say for the majority of critic’s darlings this year (Note:  I still want my 12 hours back for Tar and the other 18 that I devoted to _____fill in the blank___).

Side Note:  What is it with the length of movies this year, anyway?  Why has more become more, and even more be determined to be even better??

Me, after I finish Babylon

Nevertheless Wakanda.  At two hours and 41 minutes it is actually four minutes longer than Tar but to me plays like a short film by comparison.

And I guess that is the real point.

Taste, like life, or even year-end recaps and annual 10 best lists, is really all about point of view and perspective. 

For me, Wakanda summed up a several year period of loss and gave us a comic book blueprint about moving on.  If it wasn’t the best film of the year, and certainly it wasn’t even though that’s a pretty low bar, it certainly was one of the most relevant.

More Angela in 2023, please

What do you do when the world, as you understood it, disappears?  How do you survive when one of the people closest to you dies?  How do you move on when your hero (or heroes) disappears and your moral compass is gone? 

And what actions can you take when there is no one left to lead you but yourself and deep down you know you are nowhere near up to that task?

Wakanda answers that question in a reassuring, old-fashioned way.  That, of course, none of us are by ourselves if we’ve ever loved and lost because the memory of that person, or the good that once was, is always inside of us.  We merely need to go deep down and feel the joy, through the pain of what once was, and use it and all we experienced as the basis for a new path that we create for ourselves to move forward. 

A kind of moral, even informational, blue print, if you will.

Whoa, Chairy. That’s deep!

I heard some politician or theologian this year talk about the history of social movements as a relay race that one runs in during their time.  You advance the cause as far as you can and then pass the torch on to the next generation, in hopes that they can go even further   

The race never ends but neither does the spirit of anyone that has come before you, despite the inevitable losses.

That’s the way we move on and carry on and certainly it’s all far above the pay grade of anyone trying to summarize 2022. 

Except, clearly, some people.

Vibes.

The horrific invasion of the Ukraine by Russia began in Feb. 2022 and continues through this very moment and beyond. Yet Volodymyr Zelensky, a former actor with little political experience, unlikely leads a shockingly strong and still standing Ukraine, and was just voted Time Magazine’s Man of the Year. 

Dressed in fatigue colors and armed with the ability to stay charismatically on message as bombs drop all around him, Zelensky has somehow risen to fill a leadership gap in the world by merely stepping up in a moment.  No more so then when he addressed the U.S. Congress a few weeks ago and proclaimed that the billions in military aid we are giving to Ukraine should not be seen as “charity” but an “investment” for freedom and all of our futures.

True courage

What could read like political tripe played as exactly the opposite merely because it was the truth and was said with conviction and a little bit of humor.  And it got him a standing ovation from the vast majority of blue AND red politicians in the chamber.  Not to mention the world.

To make a cheap comparison to movies – which is cheap because they are NOT real life despite what we think – it’s what happens when an actor so totally inhabits a role that the effect is undeniable.  Austin Butler in Elvis and Brendan Fraser in The Whale.  Michelle Williams in The Fabelmans and Michelle Yeoh in Everything Everywhere All At Once.  Four high points of many low points overall in 2022 cinema.

… and the rocks. Of course, the rocks.

Actors, in particular, often get their moments in the unlikeliest of roles and/or in the strangest of times.  And many of them, like many of us, never hit that jackpot in quite the way they or we imagine they would.

Nevertheless, we all continue running the race, as the mere fact of you reading this proves.  And that is at least one other great thing about 2022.  We are all still running.

I could tell you The Bear and Wednesday and Smiley brought me the most fun on streaming platforms in the past 12 months, and that the Jan. 6th hearings were clearly the smartest and most interesting thing on network television but what would that prove?

… that you’ve been thinking about this dance for a month?

I can confess that re-watching select films on Turner Classic Movies this year probably gave me more pleasure than any other 2022 release (Note:  I marveled at Paris Blues (1961), a perfectly imperfect movie, and cried once again at Jacques Demy’s classic Umbrellas of Cherbourg) but who really cares.

It’s even less important than admitting that I loved Mary Rodgers’ autobiography Shy a lot more than the 2014 Pulitzer Prize winning novel All The Light We Cannot See, which I tried reading over the summer but never finished because there is only so much description of items in a room (Note: Meaning, not much) that I can bear. 

This feels right

That fact is even less surprising than publicly stating I listen to almost none of the new songs and albums that made it onto music critics’ 2022 top ten lists (Note: I can’t anymore with Taylor Swift, and Beyoncé, though they and their admittedly oversize talents, should live and be well). 

Oh get over it!

Still, in fairness I must state that I do love me some Brandi Carlisle and was really, really, really disappointed that the forever young and forever cool indie rock group, Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, had to bow out of the season finale musical guest spot on Saturday Night Live because one of them was ill.

They should live and be well (Note: When did I turn into my great-grandmother?) through 2022 and beyond, too. 

As should we all and then some for what a new, potentially fabulous year could have on the horizon.  Or not.

No pressure, 2023.   At All.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs – “Spitting Off the Edge of the World”

Outside In

Two very dear friends of mine were diagnosed with Covid in the last month.  They were being very careful, whatever that means, but clearly not careful enough.

That is because careful enough means pretty much not leaving your home and, in the rare cases that you do, wearing a full series of KN95/94 masks and/or Hazmat suit AND a gas mask while staying 5-10 feet away from anything living, aside from yourself.

And that latter point is clearly debatable.

Getting my list together now

Yes, I exaggerate – but barely.  That is why whenever possible my action of choice is to, indeed, pretty much… not leave my home.

Now let’s be clear.  One of those friends is fully Covid recovered and the other one is less than a week in and doing quite well after a shot of those magic monoclonal antibodies.

Nevertheless I’ve made an executive decision.  At this point in my life I don’t want to take the chance of getting a virus where there’s a chance I can have brain fog that lingers any more than my actual age-related brain fog already does.

Cringe

Incidentally, I spoke to a neurologist friend about the latter pre-pandemic and in so many words he plainly told me that, no, Prevagen, the much advertised over the counter memory booster, doesn’t work.  Not to mention, all that stuff about natural vitamin supplements like gingko biloba helping me remember where I put my keys is snake oil.

Okay, he didn’t say exactly that. 

But when I proposed to him taking either of the two, or several others, he paused, smiled very slyly to himself or to me, I couldn’t tell which, and said,

Will taking them make you feel better? 

I tentatively replied,

Maybe at one point, but not after this conversation.

To which he smiled again while I simultaneously cried inside, and definitely to myself.

UGHHH!

Since there’s no way out in the way(s) that I used to go out (Note: Crowded restaurants where you can eat family style, or even put an attractive stranger’s fork in your mouth from the next table after they offer you a bite of something luscious (use your imagination)), I’m once again making the most of staying in and watching TV and movies on the big ass screen my husband and I bought during the first pandemic and are, yes, still paying for.

This is a luxury, I know.  As is being able to work from home most of the time and not go into an office everyday.  Not to mention, being in debt.

Yet can’t we have anything after four years of Trump, the repeal of Roe v. Wade, the decimation of Ukraine by the f-ckhead also known as Putin, AND the fact that now and forever I have to spend my life being in awe of and appreciative for Liz Cheney and her courage???

Yes, Dustin, we are in the upside down. Send down the sheet.

I say yes. (Note: With a whine)

So, here’s what I’ve re-discovered in the last few semi-quarantined weeks and nights watching BIG ASS TV.  My taste in movies and TV pretty much entirely depends on what I’m going through at the time and what is happening in the world around me. 

This week I discovered an absolutely perfect, eight episode, half-hour streaming show on Hulu called The Bear.  It’s about a very young, hot, famous chef – recently rated the #1 young chef in America, whose drug addict cook brother left him the run down, financially failing neighborhood lunch place that’s been in their family for years after committing suicide by shooting himself in the head.

Sounds like an upper, right?

Except, well, it is.

Messy but good!

All that fried food and meat (Note: I don’t even eat meat anymore!) and chocolate cakes are sustenance.  They’re the affirmation of life in a much too contained space.  The way the camera franticly moves from station to station and through the lives of each poor schnook stuck working there as it peels back their pains and pleasures is like looking into a mirror of everything you feel these days in one day all at once.

I admit the series is messy and the sweat and speed at which the ingredients and story points unfold can be dizzying and almost too homemade.  But that is exactly what makes it a must-see.  It made me less crazy knowing that the intensity of the times, whatever those times may be, affects everyone trying to work through it (even the food), in oddly affecting ways.

Fat Chance!

What I didn’t care for as much was the much-touted 2022 feature, Everything Everywhere All At Once.  And no, it’s not because I didn’t see it in a movie theatre on a MORE big ass screen.  It’s because, well, there were no rules and too many options and worlds and I kind of got the point after the first 35 minutes.

Michelle Yeoh is great as the matriarch of the local Chinese laundry whose life has become dronish to the point of self-evaporation.  As is the rest of the cast – her nerdish hubby, exasperated lesbian daughter, disapproving father.  And can we talk about an unrecognizable Jamie Lee Curtis as their crazy IRS auditor?

Talk about delicious.

Hot dog fingers and all!

Yet the so many fantastical trips the movie takes them on as fantastically different versions of themselves, seemingly endless roads and planes of existence not traveled so Yeoh can eventually __________ the ___________ is just…tedious.

I have just now lost every one of my film and TV students, I know.  But hear me out.  The movie works on its own terms but not for where I am at the moment.  If I’m going to go on fantastical journeys stuck in my house I want to feel like there’s a

logic and a point to it – even if there isn’t.  Illogical thinking is what got us here in the first place.  It’s what’s cursed us, not saved us.  I like lunacy as much as the next shut-in but when anything is possible and no one dies or is punished because of your clearly crazed actions in the name of your cause, then it’s hard to see how any of us will better our lives, much less survive, the insanity of this insane world, er, plane/plain.

Not even the rocks, Chairy??

Another hard pass for me is this third season of Amazon’s The Boys, a series I’ve loved up to this point. 

Sorry, I don’t want to see Homelander, the nihilistic most powerfully crazed superhero in the world who is also secretly an emotionally weak, weepy, family-starved man-boy, become the Trump-like leader on of  an alt-right following on steroids. 

It’s easy, uninspired and ultimately uninteresting.  Even with his blonde streaks, stars and stripes and overly long, er, cape. 

Lame

We live in a world of comic book actions.  All we need to do is turn on the TV or read a news story any day of the week.  Simply giving a Trump substitute a literal superpower makes him as infuriating and un-fascinating as the real thing. 

The lack of nuance of the heroes and villains this season also feels like really odd timing.  Given the urgency of all of our lives, you’d think the writers would want to find deeper, below the surface similarities, as they have in the past, and attempt to come up with something new and different., or at least bizarre (Note: Remember the season one nipple suckling?)  Even if, as in real life, what gets served up, doesn’t all work. 

Because if I wanted to see superficiality and silliness I’d go on Twitter and read a tweet from Marjorie Taylor-Greene or Jim “Gym” Jordan.   At the very least they could have created a super villain named Musk.  Or  DeSantis. 

aka Clown Parade

So it is with no regret that in my constant swirl of platform surfing I came upon an old, dependable favorite I’ve written about before.  It’s a series I first discovered on the Gramps Channel – ION – eight years ago.  A CBS show I NEVER watched first run but became addicted to in a year of reruns in the mid-2010s – Cold Case.

Now Cold Case was never available on DVD and seldom on cable over the years, mostly because of its music rights.  When you use the original recordings from artists like Springsteen and Nirvana, among dozens of others, to recreate the soundtrack to unsolved, imagined period crimes, you’ve pretty much limited your options.  Even though you’ve made the wisest of creative choices.

But given the joint partnerships and side deals that has infected so many producers, studios and streaming platforms (Note: Like a virus!!) ALL EIGHT SEASONS of Cold Case are available for the first time ever at any time, day or place with a paid subscription fee via HBO MAX.

And the angels sang!

I cannot tell you what this has done for self-imposed shut-ins like me who long to see a 45-minute crime story where the dead and/or murdered get justice to the tune of a pop song we know and/or have loved.  Even better is that empathic, tough as nails but with a soft underside, homicide detective of long forgotten “cold” cases, Lily Rush (Kathryn Morris) literally gets to SEE the imagined GHOST IMAGE of that dead person breathe a sigh of relief or sometimes literally tip a cap (Note: As Season #1’s gay-bashed homosexual baseball player in the early 1960s did) when their case is FINALLY solved decades later.

I could literally watch hours and hours and hours and hours of it in one sitting.  As I clearly have.

Don’t judge me!

No, it’s not real life at all.  It’s BETTER.  Especially when you’re stuck inside.

We regular people always win in some sort of small way at the end and the bad people are ALWAYS made to pay, often grandly.

It will FOREVER work for me.  Masked or unmasked.

Beyoncé – “Break My Soul”