The Artificial Intelligentsia

Now that Project Hail Mary has grossed $400 million worldwide and still going strong, two points have been proven.

#1 – Ryan Gosling is one of our last remaining and enduring movie stars under 50.  I mean, anyone who can headline a film opposite a literal rock and build a humanistic relationship with a faceless voice in an offscreen booth that makes us laugh, cry and send us into existential thought while looking dreamy, has to be anointed our 21st century Cary Grant.

Ryan Gosling Takes Flight With Must-See First 5 Minutes of 'Project Hail  Mary'
… all the while in this dorky sweater!

AND –

#2 – It is still possible to make a movie in a timely fashion without artificial intelligence that people all over the world will see. 

Again and Again.

And again.

(Note: Project Hail Mary famously avoided AI in favor of real sets, practical effects and, well, actual people, puppets and physical…rocks!)

James Ortiz '10 Makes a Faceless Puppet Irresistible • Acting • Purchase  College
We love a practical effect!!

The possibility that this could continue to any sort of financial and/or creative advantage is not what the internet, corporate rich folk or your basic industry pundit would have you or I believe.

What so many would like us to think is that the end of the alive talents in the industry as we know it is coming courtesy of AI and that every movie in the 2100s will feature a movie star with some not so distant relation to Tilly Norwood.

Though I hate to give her/IT any additional publicity, if you must, click here:

Very uninterested in whatever this is

Many of my students work as interns at various Hollywood companies, and more than a handful have recounted stories in the last few months about a person or persons obsessed with talking about, dealing with, or having them deal with AI. 

These tend NOT to be top tier people but rather those who dream the shortcuts technology might offer are a substitute for the hard work and creativity it takes to make something audiences will want to pay to consume en masse that is memorable — or even any good.

When the subject comes up of teaching young writers AI tools my response is usually something like this – we don’t teach them to type, even though that is a much needed technical skill for screenwriters and cuts down on time. Instead, we teach them to think and dream and sweat out the stories they want to tell by studying, watching and using their imaginations to bring their projects to realization. 

Bit by bit.  Day by day. And month by month.

Or, as one of the GOAT writing professors of all-time, Anne Lamott once wrote:

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life: Lamott, Anne:  8601404243813: Amazon.com: Books
Love you

I came across an article in the Hollywood Reporter this week that claimed to survey more than a dozen assistants in the industry who are being asked, or in some cases, encouraged, ahem, to use AI in order to do their jobs. Presumably quicker.

Some companies are absolutely anti AI and others are open or inclined to have support staff use it.  But as one former assistant noted, no one has given any thought to the fact that when you post a movie star or executive’s schedule or contract paperwork onto an AI tool to write a cohesive memo you are in essence opening that information up to public digital tools.

Data theft gif Images - Free Download on Freepik
ruh roh

So even though, as another assistant mentioned, it helps when you have to send a bottle of wine to a remote movie set location, and need to figure out the fastest way to get it there, it begs the question of how easy it will be for so many others to infiltrate that location for whatever disruptive or juicy tabloid fodder they may attempt to come up with.

Or have AI come up with.

You see what I mean.

Gossip GIFs | Tenor
and you know we love gossip

Nevertheless, The Hollywood Reporter will this month release an entire special issue devoted to AI, so we have that to look forward to.  As well as so many follow-ups too numerous to count from ad infinitum sources.

Now before the hissing and booing gets too loud from the peanut gallery, let’s agree that no one is saying that advancements in technologies can’t be beneficial in some areas.

Namely, if AI can take all the science ever published and come up with a cure for cancer, we’re ALL all-in. 

Where do you stand on AI? Good or bad? I'm very optimistic about the future  of AI, and its potential to revolutionize the way we live. :  r/OptimistsUnite
What if I’m sitting in the aisle?

That is, as long as it’s checked out and confirmed by actual human clinical studies before it goes on the market.

This is where technology can shine and will shine.

However, when it’s used as a cost-cutting method to further dumb down the world to an even lower common denominator, or bore us to death or even down further into our isolated psychological shells with mediocrity, count the majority of us out.

I don’t know about you, but I’m already beginning to read emails and press releases that I’d bet $100 bucks are AI generated. 

NIST AI 100-4: Synthetic Media Detection for CISOs
Mind… blown…

So jolly, so glib, so vacant of anything approaching a real point of view that might offend or truly inform anyone in a more recognizably alive, humanistic way.

And don’t get this flower child started on the driverless Waymo car that seems everywhere in Los Angeles. 

Not getting in one, and never want to drive behind one. 

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Brilliant

For one thing, they literally will NEVER think to continue that left turn through the yellow light!  Which literally means.  PROCEED, with caution.

That’s what I say about AI.

Proceed if you dare.

But think about the consequences of your actions for your future. 

And for ours.

Aretha Franklin – “Think”

2025: As It Was

Of course, every day of life is a gift. 

That becomes apparent once people your age start dying or you are personally touched by tragedy at too young an age. 

Or any age.

And who am I to argue with the idea that the meaning of life is to find your gift and show it to the world?

and I will!

Well, I could argue that. 

What if your particular gift is lying, cheating and generally wreaking havoc on the world, which in turn inspires others to do so and destroy it as we know it?

You see where this could be going.

If I let it.

Everything We Know About Henry Creel's Origin Before the Stranger Things  Finale (Including the Stage Play) - ComicBook.com
Mr. Whatsit is here to help

I should’ve known 2025 wasn’t going to be “all that” when at the end of its first week my cell phone started audibly blaring with warnings from the city of L.A. to evacuate my home because a nearby canyon suddenly went up in flames.

Of course, I already knew that.  My sister warned me five minutes earlier, my shrink had just called to warn me (Note: Yes, he knows where I live) and the TV happened to be on with footage of planes and helicopters dropping uncountable gallons of water all over the neighborhood.

Never a good sign.

The role of climate change in the catastrophic 2025 Los Angeles fires »  Yale Climate Connections
It’s hard to even imagine this really happened

Of course, my husband and I were lucky, so this day was, indeed, a gift. Our house survived and so did we.  Not so lucky were the hundreds of homes and people in other neighborhoods that didn’t make it.

Not much of a gift for them. 

I mention all this not to recount my worst day in 2025 or to prove that this year was cursed from the beginning and would prove to be so for anyone truly sane.

Instead, I bring it up to offer there is another way to look at it.

Do you need to take another look? - Internet Grandma Meme Generator
brb getting out my second pair of glasses

Everyone reading this, and the billions more with the ability to still read it, survived and were gifted at least one more day. 

Probably more.

The question is, what we’ll do with them.

Just know, I HATE this kind of sentiment. 

These bromides of positivity.  This glass half-full sort of thinking.

a cartoon of spongebob saying " toxic positivity " in a box
Don’t come to me with this!

But there was a time when I was convinced I also hated Brussel sprouts until Ina Garten instructed me how to douse them with olive oil, kosher salt and pepper and roast them in the oven at 400 degrees for about 30-35 minutes.  Since then they have become the house vegetable, sometimes with balsamic glaze and other times simply with fresh parsley and some additional sea salt.

Allowing me to know that even if everything else was shitty that day, at the very least I succeeded at not only eating my vegetables but actually enjoying them.

Which is more than I ever did during my first 25 five years of “gifted” existence. #SoMuchMoreHealthSoManyMoreGiftsToLive

Barefoot Contessa GIFs | Tenor
Way to go Chairy!

There is no point in us recapping the many disasters of 2025.  The school shootings, the affordability crisis, the cold-blooded murder of well known public figures, along with so many non-famous people who also have friends, families, loved one and talents, nee gifts.

And never mind the grifting of money from the unfortunate or unknowing, the worldwide bending (Note: though not breaking) to authoritarianism, the ravages of international war or the demonization of immigrants, nee anyone not white and Christian.

Dumpster Fire GIFs | Tenor
And here she comes again

For a married gay guy with a very Jewish last name like myself, whose grandparents on both sides were immigrants, this is especially troubling. Even more so because I actually know and like not only Muslims and Somalis but non-whites of all sorts of colors from all over the world.

Going to one of the first mandatory integrated elementary schools in New York City in the sixties will do that to you.  As will growing up in most urban cities.  As will growing up anywhere and having parents who aren’t racists.

Don't Be Racist Thanks Sticker
This

Everyone gets treated exactly the same way.  Including the whitest of Christians.

That didn’t seem exactly progressive to me back then but I never would have predicted the world we have all been gifted for at least another day.

And yes, probably more.

That said, 2025 did have a few cool things. 

Cool GIFs | Tenor
Let’s get to the cool thing!

My favorite film was One Battle After Another, Paul Thomas Anderson’s brilliant black comedy/drama treatment of the times. I also thought Sinners was pretty damn good, as was a small indie film called The History of Sound.

On television, Netflix early in the year gave us the gift of the limited series, Adolescence, and wrapped up the year with a wonderful final season (Note: One more episode to go!) of Stranger Things. HBO Max started out the year with a riveting new show, The Pitt and ended it with the LGBTQ+ series I could have only dreamed of as a kid but never would have, that viral sensation known as Heated Rivalry.

Heated Rivalry Episode 5 Showcases the Power of Representation—Can It Help  Change the Game? - Fangirlish
Oh God am I a hockey fan now?

Now if only both companies would stop gobbling up other companies. Or selling out to other companies, or billionaires, or beefy politicians, and the entire planet would be a better place.

This entirely circumvents the subject of A.I. because seriously, I can’t right now…

Instead, let’s consider at least one happy couple who were gifted overtime in 2025 – Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.  They’d better at least be happy in real life.

Taylor Swift Opens Up About Engagement to Travis Kelce, Ring
This has to be endgame. Please God.

As should the new mayor of NYC – Zohran Mamdani.  He’s got great ideas for my hometown AND he’s Muslim.  Imagine that!  Well, I can.  As can my very Jewish blood brother Mandy Patinkin, who can be seen here, with his wife, actress Kathryn Grody, making potato latkes with him.

It could be our new slogan for 2026.

Break Bread, Not Heads.

And yes, I know latkes are technically made with matzo meal, not bread.  Just think of it as a starting point. 

And a gift.

Duke Ellington – Auld Lang Syne