The Artificial Intelligentsia

Now that Project Hail Mary has grossed $400 million worldwide and still going strong, two points have been proven.

#1 – Ryan Gosling is one of our last remaining and enduring movie stars under 50.  I mean, anyone who can headline a film opposite a literal rock and build a humanistic relationship with a faceless voice in an offscreen booth that makes us laugh, cry and send us into existential thought while looking dreamy, has to be anointed our 21st century Cary Grant.

Ryan Gosling Takes Flight With Must-See First 5 Minutes of 'Project Hail  Mary'
… all the while in this dorky sweater!

AND –

#2 – It is still possible to make a movie in a timely fashion without artificial intelligence that people all over the world will see. 

Again and Again.

And again.

(Note: Project Hail Mary famously avoided AI in favor of real sets, practical effects and, well, actual people, puppets and physical…rocks!)

James Ortiz '10 Makes a Faceless Puppet Irresistible • Acting • Purchase  College
We love a practical effect!!

The possibility that this could continue to any sort of financial and/or creative advantage is not what the internet, corporate rich folk or your basic industry pundit would have you or I believe.

What so many would like us to think is that the end of the alive talents in the industry as we know it is coming courtesy of AI and that every movie in the 2100s will feature a movie star with some not so distant relation to Tilly Norwood.

Though I hate to give her/IT any additional publicity, if you must, click here:

Very uninterested in whatever this is

Many of my students work as interns at various Hollywood companies, and more than a handful have recounted stories in the last few months about a person or persons obsessed with talking about, dealing with, or having them deal with AI. 

These tend NOT to be top tier people but rather those who dream the shortcuts technology might offer are a substitute for the hard work and creativity it takes to make something audiences will want to pay to consume en masse that is memorable — or even any good.

When the subject comes up of teaching young writers AI tools my response is usually something like this – we don’t teach them to type, even though that is a much needed technical skill for screenwriters and cuts down on time. Instead, we teach them to think and dream and sweat out the stories they want to tell by studying, watching and using their imaginations to bring their projects to realization. 

Bit by bit.  Day by day. And month by month.

Or, as one of the GOAT writing professors of all-time, Anne Lamott once wrote:

Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life: Lamott, Anne:  8601404243813: Amazon.com: Books
Love you

I came across an article in the Hollywood Reporter this week that claimed to survey more than a dozen assistants in the industry who are being asked, or in some cases, encouraged, ahem, to use AI in order to do their jobs. Presumably quicker.

Some companies are absolutely anti AI and others are open or inclined to have support staff use it.  But as one former assistant noted, no one has given any thought to the fact that when you post a movie star or executive’s schedule or contract paperwork onto an AI tool to write a cohesive memo you are in essence opening that information up to public digital tools.

Data theft gif Images - Free Download on Freepik
ruh roh

So even though, as another assistant mentioned, it helps when you have to send a bottle of wine to a remote movie set location, and need to figure out the fastest way to get it there, it begs the question of how easy it will be for so many others to infiltrate that location for whatever disruptive or juicy tabloid fodder they may attempt to come up with.

Or have AI come up with.

You see what I mean.

Gossip GIFs | Tenor
and you know we love gossip

Nevertheless, The Hollywood Reporter will this month release an entire special issue devoted to AI, so we have that to look forward to.  As well as so many follow-ups too numerous to count from ad infinitum sources.

Now before the hissing and booing gets too loud from the peanut gallery, let’s agree that no one is saying that advancements in technologies can’t be beneficial in some areas.

Namely, if AI can take all the science ever published and come up with a cure for cancer, we’re ALL all-in. 

Where do you stand on AI? Good or bad? I'm very optimistic about the future  of AI, and its potential to revolutionize the way we live. :  r/OptimistsUnite
What if I’m sitting in the aisle?

That is, as long as it’s checked out and confirmed by actual human clinical studies before it goes on the market.

This is where technology can shine and will shine.

However, when it’s used as a cost-cutting method to further dumb down the world to an even lower common denominator, or bore us to death or even down further into our isolated psychological shells with mediocrity, count the majority of us out.

I don’t know about you, but I’m already beginning to read emails and press releases that I’d bet $100 bucks are AI generated. 

NIST AI 100-4: Synthetic Media Detection for CISOs
Mind… blown…

So jolly, so glib, so vacant of anything approaching a real point of view that might offend or truly inform anyone in a more recognizably alive, humanistic way.

And don’t get this flower child started on the driverless Waymo car that seems everywhere in Los Angeles. 

Not getting in one, and never want to drive behind one. 

No photo description available.
Brilliant

For one thing, they literally will NEVER think to continue that left turn through the yellow light!  Which literally means.  PROCEED, with caution.

That’s what I say about AI.

Proceed if you dare.

But think about the consequences of your actions for your future. 

And for ours.

Aretha Franklin – “Think”

You are SO not invited to my Oscar party

Hollywood is like high school with money.

It’s a funny old expression that at this point seems a little too easy, if not reductive. 

Sure, there are a lot of mean girls and guys in the entertainment industry that like to punch their power and wealth right between the eyes of all those they deem below them.  That is to say, the rest of us. 

And these types don’t necessarily all live in Hollywood. 

There are those Kens in Barbieland

Hollywood is more of a metaphorical placeholder really, a state of mind that is applicable to any person doing well in film, TV, music and emerging /social media. 

And the bromide is that those at the top enjoy pleasuring themselves by showing off their successes…and in turn denying others opportunities or access to anything or anyone that might help them to also make something of themselves.

Sorry Regina

Like cliquey high school kids at the top of the pack, this group takes great pride at having “made it” and have much invested in forcing those desiring the same to pay their dues and maybe even grovel before granting them any sort of seat at the table.

But hey, it’s 2024.   That’s a dated cliché these days, right?

I mean, you all saw the Oscars. 

We sure did Chairy

Can any group of people rocking out uninhibitedly on international TV to Barbie’s “I’m Just Ken,” all aglow in pink lights, be as petty and mean as this expression paints them?

Well……perhaps. 

On Wednesdays we wear pink

This week there were multiple Hollywood news reports that political comic Bill Maher – he in his 22nd year of HBO’s very long-running Real Time with Bill Maher – fired his CAA agents after 20 plus years.

Of course, this is not unheard of.  Lots of people in Hollywood “part ways” with their reps, and at least half the time both parties have contributed to the fissure. 

But what made this time unusual, and brought back the Hollywood/high school analogy, was this exclusive headline that announced it in the Hollywood Reporter.

Yes, as the story goes, Maher was furious (Note: Hollywood speak for throwing a hissy fit) that he was not invited to top CAA agent Bryan Lourd’s huge annual, star-studded private Oscar party at Lourd’s home on Saturday night.

This party, as Stefon would say, usually has everything.  Well, everything at least as far as our fictional version of Hollywood is concerned.

Everything… except Bill

That would be top stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts and Margot Robbie, important producers like Jason Blum and Brian Grazer, many of the top studio heads (Bob Iger, Brian Robbins, Pam Abdy), longtime industry power brokers like Barry Diller and, this year only, even U.S. vice-president Kamala Harris.

In other words, it’s not only a place to get a Grade A+ piece of fish, brisket or vegetarian substitute, but a party to be seen at, make deals at, or generally bask in the afterglow of success among your peers at.

Imagine NOT being invited to the PARTY??????????

Oops

And just when you begin to think the business of show is so much more than the pettiness of partying or the tantrums of temper and terminations on a fleeting and ever-changing phantom boat of Hollywood A-listers.

To be fair (Note: Though on this subject, why bother?) it could be Maher had other reasons that contributed to firing his agency after more than two decades. 

Though I doubt it.

Begin hissy fit

It’s also possible that his agency was cutting back on guests this year (Note:  Highly unlikely) or didn’t consider him attendance-worthy because his major film credits are D.C. Cab (1983), Ratboy (1986) and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1988) (Note: The latter of which he co-starred with Shannon Tweed).

Still, highly unlikely.

Because as someone who has worked in and around the biz for the last forty plus years, all I could think of when I read this exclusive Hollywood Reporter news item was:

Sounds right.

Uh huh

That’s because Maher has spent the last few years on his show whining about the world, especially young people, being too “woke,” which always felt like code for, Why can’t I still make the misogynistic jokes I always have and how come so many less people are laughing? 

Not to mention him giving voice to numerous conspiracy theorists on Real Time or going on Joe Rogan’s podcast and agreeing that Joe Biden is, indeed, mentally compromised and not a very good president.

Ugh god

If you’re CAA that’s not the kind of client you want at your Oscar party, hobnobbing with the likes of Kamala Harris.  So what if he’s a longtime client who has made us millions in commissions –  he has nothing to do with the Oscars or movies and he’ll get over it!

Think of it as the pre-hissy fit that happened right before the newsworthy one.

Ironically, on Friday night’s Real Time,  Maher spent part of his concluding New Rules segment chastising the audience on “whining about the small stuff in life.”

Yeah Bill

So you would think after decades of telling us and the rest of the world off, he would know how Hollywood works. 

At any moment you (Note: Yes, YOU!) can be cut from the guest list and disinvited to the party.

It’s the same as it ever was.

Talking Heads – “Once in a Lifetime”