Don’t Mess with TCM

This week a tone deaf, corporate media power broker in charge of Warner Bros/Discovery decided to fire the entire upper management of Turner Classic Movies and fold the hugely popular network into its media empire.

Boo! Hiss!

To translate power broker actions into plain English that meant the plan was to squeeze the life out of a division with one of the most loyal audience bases around until it either disappears entirely or learns to coexist side by side with offerings like Dirty Jobs, Moonshiners and Naked and Afraid.

In other words, a platform where one can watch pristine classic films, learn film history from people who have spent their lives living and generally inspiring generations of younger artists worldwide through their work has as much value as a TV series where two naked people are dropped in the “wilderness” with a machete each week and we watch them survive in what is passed off as “real time.”

Hollywood doesn’t have loyalty to much but there is a very strong dedication by the people who actually make movies to preserve classic films and pass on their legacy to future generations.

That’s why even before the downsizing of TCM went viral, three A List directors – Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese and Paul Thomas Anderson – had emergency meetings, separately and together, with said power broker, lobbying on behalf of the network.

I’ll just imagine it like this scene

Undoubtedly, there was also an implicit warning.  Squeeze out the life of TCM in any substantial way, a brand that hasn’t ever made a fortune but has almost always made a bit of money, and risk alienating the bulk of the prestige film community.

This may not sound like much but after losing the one prestige level filmmaker in the WB stable – Christopher Nolan – to Universal for his latest picture, Oppenheimer, the powers that be have been reportedly anxious, nee desperate, to lure the likes of his talent back into the studio fold.

A little something like this

This is especially true since its latest hopes for a tent pole superhero film, The Flash, opened at disappointing box-office levels.  Not to mention the fact that right after the big WB/Discovery merger it decided to not even release another big budget superhero venture, Batgirl.   (Note: The bigwig determined it just wasn’t worth the trouble and marketing costs and that the $100+ million dollar tax write-off was far more appealing).

But back to TCM.   Meaning, what is the result of all this?

This is going to upset me

Well, a few days ago a lot of carefully-worded press releases assured fans and industryites that there were conversations and separate and group phone calls all around where the filmmakers were assured that TCM would continue and the media exec denied there was EVER any plan to get rid of it to begin with.

Right.

Suuuuuuure

The latter is at best sort of laughable when a classic film network has no one running it other than another corporate exec that oversees, um, WB/D’s Cartoon Network, as well as some other divisions.

Perhaps that’s why the PR solution to all of this was to several days later now give TCM to the two executives who run the film division at Warner Bros. Film Group – Michael DeLuca and Pamela Abdy. 

I mean, what else do they have to do, right?  Also, the guy who runs the Cartoon Network, as well as Discovery Family and Adult Swim and so many more, will still be in charge of TCM’s financial side.  So, sure, nothing can go wrong and nothing at all will change.

Right???? 

Gimme a break!

Vote yes if you agree.

Of course, change is inevitable, especially in the entertainment industry.  That would be a place where film studios, which include corporate streaming entities, are refusing to budge from their no change in negotiation status after a two-month plus writers strike.

The streamer plan is to keep their profit margins and revenues from the work generated by writers as secret as possible and to hold onto the right to do what they will with future artificial intelligence.  If that means merely hiring writers for a few weeks to punch up some A.I. generated stories, so be it.  Clearly, A.I. can do as well as Naked and Afraid, probably better.

Say that again, I dare ya!

Other producers/studios/corporate owners seem to be onboard with that plan, along with the idea of negotiating separately with each large union that makes their product in hopes of marginalizing writers, or any union for that matter, that stands in the way of what they consider progress.

Progress being the largest bottom line profits available for the smallest risks and largest rewards.

Bette Davis, David O. Selznick and Orson Welles must be turning over in their graves.  Not that any one who holds the purse strings cares.  Or thinks much about what and who came before them.  Or, in some cases, even knows who they are.

You tell em Bette

If this sounds like The Chair is pissed off, yeah, you got that right.  There is nothing wrong with reality TV or superhero movies except when they overrun the world and relegate everything and everyone else to sit in a corner.

Because when the latter two hog all of the daylight and attention – and funds – everything in that corner dies from malnourishment and lack of sunlight.

TCM Remembers 2022

Personality Test

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 2.35.32 PM

People say I have a pretty good personality but that doesn’t mean you should follow my lead on anything. Not to mention there are more moments than I care to admit where I would prefer to be called devastatingly handsome. In which case, you’d likely follow my lead on everything. At least initially.

It used to be a good personality was the kiss of death – the excuse you gave for the guy or gal you wanted to set your friend up with, that individual who wasn’t devastatingly handsome – or beautiful. Nowadays, personality accounts for quite a bit. Especially since it’s gotten easier and easier for anyone with even a tiny amount of money and taste to be at least good-looking.

awww thanks

awww thanks

You can work with a personal stylist at J. Crew or even at your neighborhood department store, for gosh sakes. And in 2014, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 15.6 million people in the U.S. had at least one cosmetic procedure. The top five minor ones: Botox (6.7 mil), soft tissue fillers (2.3 mil), chemical peels (1.2 mil), laser hair removal (1.1 mil) and microdermabrasion (882,000). Among full-on surgeries: breast augmentation (286,000), nose jobs (217,000), liposuction (211,000), eyelid work (207,000) and facelifts (128,000).

That’s right – facelifts were at the bottom of the list! So clearly, this is not a top 1% thing anymore.  If you combined every person who voted on both sides in both the Iowa and New Hampshire primaries you couldn’t come close to covering the amount of individuals who had Botox two years ago.

.. and that even includes Melania!

.. and that even includes Melania!

So stop blaming this on Beverly Hills matrons and movie stars and the millionaires and billionaires who don’t live and eat next door to you. Well, next door to most of you. Since in Los Angeles you never know whom you’ll find on the other side of your door, or at least restaurant booth.

This is not to say that one cosmetic procedure will make you a fabulous physical specimen. But if done right, it can get you to move up a notch or two in the public eye. As to a desirable personality trait and the people who possess them, the results must be multiplied 100 fold.

Donald Trump’s Make America Great Again can-do bullying has made him the darling of the Republican primary fight. I don’t say this as a bitter Democrat.   I write it as an accurate reporter. He doubles the poll numbers nationally across the board among any of his party competitors.

Well if we're going to get superficial....

Well if we’re going to get superficial….

Bernie Sanders’ enough is enough anger at the millionaire and billionaire class has won over the hearts and minds of young voters 18-25 by a more than 3-1 margin among Dems along with his vision of equality across the classes. Forget Jack Kennedy or Bill Clinton. No one gives a damn about how he looks because his personality is total 2016. Trump probably does get some points on the physical side via his $5000 Brioni suits but let’s face it, the orange skin/spray tan/bronzer and undecipherable hair/weave/plug/torture cancels any possible superior body aesthetic right out.

On the other hand, Hillary Clinton’s practical message of I’m a progressive who makes progress is not particularly alluring. I mean, who wants to make progress when you can fulfill a dream mixed with several dollops of anger. Not to mention, she always sounds angry, right? But that’s what happens when women shout. She was never so popular as when she was the beleaguered spouse whose husband had cheated on her. Or when she could simply be an Internet meme of the tireless Secretary of State in shades who had your back.

Good Ole Days

Good Ole Days

 

Sen. Ted Cruz, the Republican Apprentice’s closest competitor, is principally known as the one true religious conservative with constitutional common sense. Boy, is that a mouthful (and confusing). But how do I know this is true? Well, just this past week I got a note from him signed, Ted. Yes, I mean me – a gay, liberal Jew from New York who lives in Los Angeles and is in show business! Of course I knew you wouldn’t believe me. So – check this out!!

Get a load of this

Get a load of this

I’m not sure if it was my looks or personality that landed me on his hit list of potential fundraisers. But I have slept a whole lot better since personally bearing witness to the precisely targeted efforts of his personal fundraising team. Which begs the question of – how the hell did they get my name and address and what the hell were they thinking – or drinking???

Well, that’s what happens when you indulge too much on a single trait, or piece of evidence, or body part, or statement of a single human being. And, whatever it was, glitched the Cruz For President folks into believing I was worth their money (Note: They promised to match my $45 donation dollar for dollar) and effort. Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous??????

For real

For real

It’s as ridiculous as 35% of Republican voters believing Mr. Trump would make a fine president. Or 75% of our millennial primary voters on the Democratic side convinced Sen. Sanders will be able to make good on the angry promises of the first real American Revolution since 1776 given what’s happening with the other 50% of the voters on the other side of aisle.

Perhaps it’s because I wasn’t born devastatingly handsome or irresistibly charismatic, but I find I’m more attracted to people, i.e. candidates and real life friends and lovers – who have dollops of both. Not to mention, a lot of other stuff. In fact, what I value most – aside from that secret desire for my own physical perfection – is an honest, down-to-earth practical person who is a bit of a dreamer. Someone with vision who is also a bit easy on the eyes. But not too easy. Because nothing worth having really is.

That’s not very 2016 but, well, as both Popeye and Zaza from La Cage Aux Folles once said and sang – I Am What I Am.