Quadrant over Quality

In the last three weeks, I’ve seen three new movies which have already grossed over TWO BILLION DOLLARS worldwide – Obsession, Disclosure Day and Spiderman: Brand New Day.

The truth is – I didn’t love any one of them.

Womp Womp Power Chainsaw Man GIF - Womp womp Power chainsaw ...

It’s not that they were awful, it’s just that, well, meh.

I feel like I sound old.  And why not?  I guess I’m now on the old-er side.

But this doesn’t mean I don’t love those kinds of movies. 

Meaning ones that can make lots of money quickly and appeal to broad swaths of what movie marketers term the four-quadrant audience. 

Analyze GIFs | Tenor
Time to start math-ing!

This phrase has been floating around for decades and I’ve mentioned it before.  But for those unfamiliar, it means:

Quadrant 1: Males under 25

Quadrant 2: Females under 25

Quadrant 3: Males over 25

Quadrant 4: Females over 25

A four headed monster

It can signal family-friendly, but not necessarily.  There are dramas, sci-fi blockbusters, superhero, heartwarming comedies and horror films all included.

Not to be defensive (Note: Though what can you expect when you’re really far away from the minimum requirement in even the third quadrant), but I did tremendously like and almost loved The Odyssey, which has already grossed over ONE BILLION DOLLARS worldwide on its own in the last month.

What Is The 'Odysseus Screaming' Meme? The Breakout Reaction Meme Of Matt  Damon Yelling In 'The Odyssey' Movie Explained
Really I’m there for Samantha Morton

And then there was Project Hail Mary, an early hit this year I thoroughly enjoyed A LOT that is up to almost SEVEN HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS internationally at the box-office.

Both of these have my admiration because they tried something a little bit different, developed their characters, have very few plot holes, offer a few earned clever twists and deliver an ending that feels real and earned.

Hail Mary GIFs | Tenor
Plus I mean… who can argue with Rocky?!

This is not the case for many films in the four quadrant system these days.  Often they have plot holes the size of 30 foot bagels (Note: Just where were all of the other victims of those One Wish Willow toys in that Obsession town?).  Or too many messy and unanswered pertinent questions (Note: Didn’t those Disclosure Day aliens have a planet that missed them?).  And far too many Easter Egg drops from previous films, and so many Irving The Explainer plot backstory moments, that the diffused present day action can’t sustain enough momentum for us to believe or care much about anything happening in the present day (Note: New Spiderman makes one long for a new origin story of something or someone else that’s super… simple).

And yet, who can argue with TWO BILLION DOLLARS?

Money angel''
what plot holes?

That’s what the fans and the studios of these films could and would likely say.

The other day I flipped on to Turner Classic Movies and they were showing Annie Hall and I, like everyone since, was once again charmed by the wit, talent and originality of the forever missed Diane Keaton.

It’d been years since I’d seen this very simple yet unique love story that Hollywood and the country took to heart and I quickly remembered why it was a film I did love and continue to love.

Diane Keaton Became a Fashion Icon With Annie Hall in 1977
Oh how we miss you Annie

It came out in 1977, a time when I was very much a member of that most desired QUADRANT 1 marketing demographic. 

This was a time when major studios made and offered movies in lots of genres.  Films that succeeded at the box-office that didn’t have plot holes the size of a giant baked good.  Or were not overstuffed with homages and unanswered questions.  And actually took the time, as some films that capture the zeitgeist do, to develop their characters and thoroughly earn their place in the hearts of millions.

Aside from multiple Oscar winning Annie Hall (including best picture), here are some other Oscar contenders that came out in 1977.

The 50th Academy Awards | 1978
Ya ready?

Other best picture nominees (there were the proper mere five back then) were: The Goodbye Girl (a Neil Simon character rom-com), Julia (a serious politically-based drama), STAR WARS (a character-based sci-fi blockbuster), and The Turning Point (a show business based relationship movie set in the world of ballet).

Contenders in other categories include other films that moviegoers talk about to this day and that, in their time and by contemporary dollars, would be considered blockbusters.

Try this duo:  Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Saturday Night Fever.

Saturday Night Fever GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Here for this

It was also the year of Oh, God!, Pumping Iron, Slapshot, Eraserhead and New York, New York.

Sure, the #2 film at the box-office that year was the paper thin, low rent Smokey and the Bandit and #6 was the semi-coherent, movie-star bloated A Bridge Too Far.  But there were lots of other offerings, SO many as a matter of fact, to even things out.

This is not a critique of the taste of the contemporary mass audience.  People love movies and want to get out of the house to see something new.  But they can only pick and choose from what the studios sell and the movie theatres offer them.  

It just seems that if 1977 could give us Annie Hall, Julia and Saturday Night Fever – as well as Star Wars, Close Encounters of the Third Kind and for god sakes, Smokey and the Bandit – that 50 years later it’s not too much to demand that studios, distributors and their billionaire patrons take the time to do a little bit better.

Some eCards New Years on Strikingly
This is probably the best the studios can do

And that we all demand a hell of a lot more.

The Bee Gees – “Staying Alive” (from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack)

Hollywood from the Couch

I spent part of this weekend binge-watching the first three episodes of the new, gay-themed Canadian sports romance series, Heated Rivalry, on HBO despite being told the death of the movies was upon us.

Once again.

In any other era this would be sacrilegious for a movie lover.

Let Me Explain GIFs | Tenor
Allow me to explain

The funereal panic was related to the announcement that Netflix was buying Warner Bros. Discovery for the incomprehensible price (NOTE: To me, anyway.  I’m still smarting over $10 eggs) of $82.7 billion. A pending deal that, according to the N.Y. Times, could redefine Hollywood and the broader media landscape.

I have no doubt the above is true since Hollywood and media has been consistently redefining itself every couple of years since I first became professionally involved with it in the late 1970s.

Yes, I have all the career, financial and personal battle scars to prove it.  And one night, over cocktails, I’ll tell you all about if you so desire.  

all about eve gifs Page 2 | WiffleGif
Maybe some snowy night by the fire…

But more to the point, I have all the iterations of media and my own work to prove it.

Unopened boxes in my closet that contain VHS recordings of rare movies taped from network TV, cassette and eight tracks of movie soundtracks (Note: And more than a few vinyl records), a neatly tied bundle of laser discs (Note: A very short but very cool tech period, in my humble opinion), many drawers of CD movie themes/songs I bought or were sent to me from studios during awards seasons or for promotional purposes, and several walls full of DVDs my husband and I love having on hand even though three quarters of them are available on streaming services.

Add to that hundreds of original screenplays, pilots and treatments (Note: Several dozens of them my own) of very good work that was never made because they weren’t big enough, commercial enough, contemporary enough, relatable enough, young enough or just plain enough enough for the theatrical film market as it stood at the time.

Speaking for those projects that I DID NOT write, since no one can be objective about their own work, I promise you that determination is and was BULLSH-T since all of them could have been enough if given the chance.

Hi! I'm Anxiety. — World of Miley
Ya got that right

But, of course, it depends on what you mean by enough.  My definition is a film, or potential film or film element, that is entertaining or meaningful or satisfying to  group of people other than your friends and relatives. 

The theatrical deciders’ definition is a piece of material that will make them unlimited scads of money for the smallest amount of risk despite the tried and true adage, Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

Scrooge Mcducking GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY
Main priority

Meaning, screenwriter William Goldman’s summation of the movie business and all its marketplace gatekeepers in his seminal 1983 memoir Adventures in the Screen Trade still, and perennially, applies:

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

What especially no one knows anymore is what a movie is by 2025 and beyond standards and how it should or will be consumed. (Note:  Consumed?  What a horrible but applicable choice of words, as if we’re eating soylent green, though in a sense we are).

The chief complaint about Netflix and other streaming platforms is that their mere existence spells the death knell of the movie business, and the fact that it’s gobbling up one of what remains of a handful of big Hollywood studios ushers in the end of “movies.”

Well the view from my office would certainly change

After all, what incentive does Netflix have for people to watch a film outside of their homes, in a theatre (aka, the definition of a “real” movie)?

About as much as David Zaslav, a former cable/streaming exec who was put in charge of theatrical when he was made CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery in 2022 cares about it. 

Skeletor From Masters Of The Universe Trivia
His company portrait

Though probably more, since one of Zaslav’s first acts when put in charge was a cost-cutting measure that would’ve ended the one cable channel most beloved by movie lovers, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), as we know it, until filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Martin Scorsese and others stepped in to exert a little… ahem… pressure.

Trending GIF oscars academy awards martin scorsese oscars 2020
Bless you, Marty

This while Netflix stepped up and made movies and deals with some of the top directors in the movie business, including Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Guillermo del Toro (Frankenstein), Rian Johnson (Knives Out II and III) and Greta Gerwig (the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia) and her husband Noah Baumbach (the just-released George Clooney starrer, Jay Kelly). 

All of these films have had or will have theatrical runs of various lengths and all the work of these and most other filmmakers will likely continue to do so.

Are they or will they be as long as they used to be?  Well, um, no.

Debating GIFs | Tenor
I mean… I think I could be OK with that

But to all of the movie consumers out there – nerds, intellectuals, horror fanatics, foreign film fans, the super-hero obsessed or rom-com fanatics – how many times have you uttered these four words in the last number of years:

Is it streaming yet?

a man in a yellow jacket is waving his hand
Guilty!

It is worth noting the film most likely to win this year’s best picture Oscar and, for my money, the best film of 2025, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, was a Warner Bros. release that played a mere eight weeks before being available to rent or buy on streamers. 

This is not very long at all by traditional standards. And will undoubtedly vary depending on how much demand there is to see a film and how much money can be made on them.

One Gif After Another : r/paulthomasanderson
… and there he goes

I used to marvel when my parents recounted to me there was a time that they huddled around the RADIO to listen to original serialized storytelling.  The same way I did to my husband a few years ago when I suddenly realized true crime podcasts were becoming the new commercial “thing,” making something very recognizably radio popular again.

Do I long for the old days of movies?

Not so much.

23 Classic Hollywood GIFs That Are Better Than A Time Machine
I’m with Margo

What I long for instead are the days of more good and great movies and less pure commercial garbage for the mythical lowest common denominator, non-thinking international, four quadrant audience.

And on that subject, I’d put more faith in Netflix than in the guy who treated Dr. Pimple Popper and 90 Day Fiancé with the same reverence as a Scorsese or Nolan film when he first listed them on HBO Max.

35 Funniest Someecards Ever | Bored Panda
Nuff said

Not that there is anything wrong with any film or TV show of any kind. Including the steamy Heated Rivalry, which I have every intention of watching in between this year’s Oscar movies – at the theatre and at home.

On my couch. 

Doom scrolling.

The Beach Boys – “In My Room”