Speaking for everyone in California, because why wouldn’t I, let me assure the country and the world that the vast majority of us here on the left coast are okay.

More than 24.5 trillion gallons of water has fallen from the skies since the end of the year and it is continuing to pour at least through this weekend. 

Yet we soldier on. 

I mean, we hosted the Golden Globes between storms this week and gave the beloved Jennifer Coolidge an international platform so clearly NOTHING can stop us from providing you the entertainment you so richly deserve in 2023.  

On the other hand, more than 17 people have died in the last few weeks from flooding and trees falling. And if you factor in extreme weather related accidents across the world you’d likely find many hundreds more.

But still.  Still….it’s a Zen west coast thing to stay positive.  So let’s do so as our newly installed D.C. Congress works tirelessly to put an end to the deleterious effects of climate change by passing new laws and legislating against corporate malfeasance.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Okay, you know, what?  It’s true.  The rain and the fact that sociopathic liar George Santos (R-NY) not only remains in Congress but is GAY (Note: Wish I could say he was lying about THAT but he scores 112% on my personal Gaydar) has really gotten to me.

Though what hasn’t are the many calls, texts and social media messages I’ve received from friends, family, acquaintances and even strangers expressing concern for what they’re seeing happening to California on the news.

This is the case with lots of fellow Angelenos and other state residents I’ve talked to through this and truly it’s touching.  And kind of gives me hope for where we all could be going as a country if we ever get out collective acts together.

That’s why for this week’s post I want to honestly reflect what it’s like be in the eye of the California storms all week.

What it truly means is…all week… everyday… all you think about are… rain…s ongs.

That’s right, songs. 

With the word rain in the title. 

It happens whether you want it to or not.  Or whether you like it or not.  Just when it begins to stop, like the rain, it recurs. 

Again and again. 

The minute you hear the patter or pounding, drive through a flooded intersection or up and around a slick winding canyon road, some god-forsaken tune imbeds in your brain and won’t let up.

Forget about what happens when you’re walking the dog or simply moseying down a sunny street and get drenched in an unexpected downpour.  That’s when a particularly relentless tune imbeds. 

And you can’t get rid of it all night or into the next day.

No surprise that the Chair’s way of dealing with this endless melodic onslaught was to make a list.  Stumped by solutions to either global warming or George Santos and his gutless political party, it’s offered up as the 10 BEST of what you can expect when, not IF, extreme climate knocks on your back door.

(Note: Separate lists can be provided for snow, wind, frost or heat).

#10 – It Never Rains in Southern California – Albert Hammond

This seemed rather obvious but I couldn’t get it out of my f-n mind for FOUR days and had to include it.

#9 – Here Comes the Rain Again – Eurythmics

Thank God Annie Lenox came into my mind.  I felt really cool for the several hours I dared to hum HER song.

#8 – Fire and Rain – James Taylor

I was inside and working on writing something that took place in the past, the seventies to be exact.  It was a time when James Taylor (Note: And Me) had lusciously long locks and was a really, really, REALLY hard reality to let go of.

#7 – Rainy Days and Mondays – Carpenters

Do NOT laugh!  Karen Carpenter had the clarion voice of an angel.  And it was my late friend Deb’s go-to song when she felt the need to ditch high school and I felt the need to meet her after school and hang out in her tiny yellow bedroom listening to show tunes or top 10 hits when we were both too existentially low to deal with anything else (Note:  I, myself, was way too goody two shoes to ditch school).

#6 – I Can’t Stand the Rain – Tina Turner

Sometimes the rain makes you feel sexy and there is nothing sexier than Tina Turner, even for me.

#5 – Set Fire to the Rain – Adele

Other times the rain is a twee anthem and who does that better than Adele?

#4 – Don’t Rain On My Parade – Barbra Streisand

Must I explain this?  I’m Jewish and a gay man.

#3 – It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls

See above.

#2 – Purple Rain – Prince

Prince literally reinvented and redefined rain till the end of time.  It was a pleasure to have him in my head at the peak of his popularity and actually made me feel like a rock star for a moment or two.

#1 – Singin’ in the Rain – Gene Kelly

Nevertheless, my heart belongs to the movies.  They say Hollywood is the Dream Factory, right?  Feeling like a movie star playing a movie star who is really just a regular guy in love with everything is the ultimate fantasy.  And it wins you over, whether you want it to or not.  Much like a really great Hollywood film does, regardless of age.

Did the Chair miss a rainy day classic? Comment below with more soggy suggestions.