Twisters of Fate

A dear friend of mine took me to a screening of Twisters last weekend because I really needed a big, sloppy piece of entertainment that wouldn’t tax my mind too much.

Well, I got it.  And so much more.

It’s raining Glen

See, what I had in mind was a movie about a series of larger than life tornados (Note: Think Sharknado but only slightly more real) and the people that chase them.  

An insistently loud diversion from the red-state, blue-state, red-fish, blue-fish fight we’ve been having and clearly will be having for the next three and a half months and beyond about the 2024 U.S. presidential election.

Or, as the mental crib notes I must now carry everywhere with me these days refers to it:

Democracy vs. Dictatorship.

The rest of my 2024

I so wanted to listen to a big pop soundtrack of songs serving up truly over-the-top music cues for all sorts of inclement weather in the Tornado Universe.

The massive winds and rain and hail balls the size of softballs leading into a big funnel cloud of crazy, played out to a bunch of Journey-adjacent type tunes.

very this

That could then be the start to all sorts of weather-related camp references. I doubted that it would happen but part of me was also secretly hoping for samplings of Baby, It’s Cold Outside, Wind Beneath My Wings and okay, yes, It’s Raining Men.

wink

Yeah, I was a gay kid brought up on 1970s disaster films like Poseidon Adventure, Towering Inferno and Earthquake.   

So sue me. 

And no, that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the havoc extreme weather wreaks on a community.

I live in Los Angeles, in a drought, in the dry, dry hills.  Big rocks periodically fall on us from above when we’re standing in our very small outside patio. As for earthquakes, we and most of our neighbors have been priced out of the market to insure against them.

So yeah, this is personal.

you heard me?

But…..what price release?

In these turbulent times: Release. Trumps. Everything.

Bigly.

You may quote me.

Anyway, no such luck on my Twister movie screen.

I got exactly what I was trying to avoid since I knew in a few days I’d be sitting through all four nights (Note: So you don’t have to) of a fascist-themed, theocratic, tent revival-style Republican Convention backed by the nominee’s signature campaign rally tune, Lee Greenwood’s country megahit, God Bless the USA.

Why won’t that song just go away?

But in the movie’s case it came early in the form of an ear-pounding soundtrack of continuous country music, from many artists, played out in various red state America towns.

And all done amid banal dialogue, serviceable special effects and countless reminders of how small town red America is where the real people live.

oh god

Especially compared to how the primarily Oklahoma-based Twisters presents New York City – a crowded, impersonal and generally undesirable concrete jungle where no feeling person’s soul could ever reside.  (Note:  Or could, deep down, truly want to).

… and what’s wrong with that?

In retrospect, it should have seemed to me not so much prescient but predictable that the aforementioned RNC ran with the same theme as it went on about the “crumbling, crime ridden” blue state cities all the way down to its final Hannibal Lecter finish line. (Note:  You have to listen to the final speech on the final night to see how Dr. Lecter fits in.  But since I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, you might just want to trust me on that.  OK, fine, click here, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.)

As for Twisters, I promise I do not exaggerate.  Early on there are indeed a few scenes in the Big Apple, but they only serve as a place where our forlorn, dead-inside country girl heroine MUST be taken away from in order to be brought back to life in the heartlands of her hometown in Oklahoma.  (Note: A place that in real life just passed a law that mandates the Bible be taught in public schools).

bye

There she can be among residents from other red states who have gathered to chase more tornados and discover that, of course, it’s the MIT graduate from the east coast that is the one most dedicated to the movie’s principal, land-grabbing villain  (Easter Egg Note: David Corenswet, our soon-to-be Superman, plays the MIT guy, so I can’t honestly sit here and tell you those scenes didn’t possess a certain…dreamy appeal).

he’s smart

And in the course of that discovery, our heroine gets to almost literally be born-again by using her homespun instincts and high school research to correct her traumatic past and symbolically save what she left behind – HER PEOPLE and pretty much anyone else who will ever be at risk in her state and places like it.  (Note: New York City does not have tornadoes).

But just a moment, saving the world is not enough in these movies, right?  And as Project 2025 and the RNC’s newly minted vice-presidential nominee has said, it’s especially not enough to be a single woman.  You GOTTA find love.  If not for the first time, then once again. (Note: No Spoilers here). Because your most rewarding accomplishment will be to procreate.  (Note 2: Whether you want to or not).

I think I saw Aunt Lydia in attendance

And here she is given THE perfect rogue hick on the outside, but smart and caring and MANLY man on the inside (Note: Ok, AND outside) type of guy. 

He’s young enough, (though not TOO young), blonde enough (well, highlights) and red state movie star enough (with blue state indie movie cred) enough   —  Glen Powell!!!

Ever heard of him?

Is it the cowboy hat?

It’s all sort of the right idea if this whole thing were set in the 1980s or the 1950s and not in 2024 – where almost every young person in the world – even in New York City –  rates climate change as one of their top two most important issues of the day, and the destruction of life in small towns AND big cities, as well as overseas locations they’ve never been to but see in video images everywhere, an international, global catastrophe. 

I’d be wrong to expect anything approaching nuance from a merely escapist film, but as you might have gathered at this point, Twisters is much more than that. 

Not blown away

Its subliminal messages of the worth of the hard working people of small town America – whose only form of leisure seem to be joyrides in big wheel trucks, rodeos and drinking beer – and their destiny as helpless, ignored victims in cultures devalued by those living in big cities, couldn’t be more timely. 

It reinforces every stereotype of red vs. blue, feasts on them, swallows them whole and then deftly spits them back at us in the form of exclusionary, jingoistic middle-of-the-road mainstream American entertainment. 

I think you know which pill this movie took

You can cast Anthony Ramos as the country girl’s high school friend and slide in that he’s originally from Miami, or throw in one of two other brown or mixed race actors as young people with short screen times (Note: In real life, Oklahoma is 75% white and no non-white group accounts for more than 6% of the population), but for the most part the message here is clear:

There is a real America and there are real Americans, mostly white, who built this country and farmed.  And they have been left to die from the elements by power brokers who don’t care or elite, overeducated brainiac city dwellers who really don’t care.

All “coastal elites”

The only ones who can truly solve this problem are the smartest of the smart from the red states.  Because they are the only ones who will take the time to figure anything out because no one on the outside give a thought about red state people like them.

If only there were a larger than life, POWERFUL leader from a big blue state like New York who would move heaven and earth to help, they’d be open to that city slicker. But in this movie world and in real life there really isn’t anybody like that.

Right???  

RIGHT?????

I’m going back to bed

The key word is “right.”

On the bigger question of escape – there is none.

At least this year.

Luke Combs – “Ain’t No Love in Oklahoma” (from Twisters)

PS – Twisters opened to more than $80 million in the U.S. this weekend, about the same level as Oppenheimer did last year.  It looks to be a MAJOR summer hit.  Make of that what you will.

Storytime

Storytelling is an art I’ve yet to truly master, which seems odd because I teach it. 

But in a way, it’s not. 

No one is a master at every story they tell. 

we’ve all been there

That’s both the beauty and the hell of it.  Just when you think you know exactly what you’re doing, something great pops into your brain that you can’t make work despite all of your knowledge and experience.

My thing is written stories, which have their own sets of challenges depending on whether they are meant to be performed on a screen or stage, or simply read to oneself silently.

There are tricks of the trade, depending on the medium, but at the end of the day the facts are never exactly true.  The best you can do is capture the spirit of the truth, as you experience it through your characters. 

then it’s abracadabra

Every writer is a magician, a liar AND a truthteller, all at once.  But make no mistake, as sincere as we are, we are still pulling the wool over your eyes.  Concocting a set of circumstances and actions and getting you to believe them in our world.

Well, at least a world of our own making.

Of course, we humans are ALL storytellers, even if we don’t write them down.

and speaking of clowns…

Donald Trump tells many stories but so do his 34 felony convictions this week.  What does that tell us?  That despite how many people you’ve gotten to buy the bullsh-t you’re selling, or telling, there comes a point where one of your stories (Note: Or at least 34 of them) won’t work and you’ll get busted.

You may think what you’ve concocted out of whole cloth is great but as Ernest Lehman, the renowned screenwriter of North By Northwest, among many others, once stated:

…Then suddenly the audience tells you what you never knew.

I don’t know if I want to know

Trump makes up facts daily, spinning them into a sorcerer-ized version of his own reality, and for some insane reason(s) members of his party have taken a loyalty oath.

To the abusive alcoholic Dad who will buy them something to make up for the beatings –- emotional, physical and all sorts of other kinds.  Or for the promises he makes to them, some of which he will keep for a price and most of which he won’t remember, deny having made or simply welch on because he can.

There are countless reasons why an audience not only stays with you for some of your lesser works, but pays for them over and over again and swallows them whole.

desperation?

I, for one, have never figured out how a film as godawful lousy as Michael Bay’s Pearl Harbor (written by Randall Wallace) earned half a billion dollars at the box office worldwide.  Or the international blockbuster earnings of pretty much any Michael Bay film.

Nor can I ever fathom how it is that the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy of books (written by E.L. James) sold 165 million copies, Stephanie Meyers’ seven-book Twilight series nearly topped it at 160 million copies and that each have far, far outsold, by A LOT, everything in total the late, great Pulitzer Prize-winning writer William Styron EVER wrote.

Not enough brooding maybe?

Much in the same way I will never truly understand the appeal of a thoroughly unconvincing hack storyteller the likes of Mistuh Trump, as his current arch enemy truthteller and former fixer, Michael Cohen (Note: A guy from the boroughs, just like me and Donald) liked to call him.

Nothing about any of the above movies or books, or even movie versions of the above books, had the vaguest ring of even escapist truth to me.  As for Mistuh Trump, you had to either grow up or live in New York City in the seventies or eighties to know what a truly buffoonish clown he was, and always has been able to get away with, thanks to inherited wealth, ties to criminal enablers and a mawkish racism and sexism that a lot of rich white people shared but would never verbalize in the “entertaining” way he chose to in all of those privileged and/or back-room circles.

Can he just go away?!?!

So many stories so many New Yorkers like myself heard about at the time but when we voiced our disgust (Note: Those of us who did were a solid minority, but clearly a minority) we were dismissed as soft, too sensitive or unable to take a joke.  Didn’t we know this was the real world and if we wanted to get ahead we’d just have to go along with it like everyone else?

No.  We didn’t think that.  And literally, we didn’t.

Instead, we did our thing in the way we thought right.  We tried to fight but you can’t battle the Trumps of the world and their enablers 24/7 and have a life.  As the years go on you learn balance, and the power of your own voice and your own stories.  They might be less lethal but they were far less evil, and had far less of a vindictive, nasty ugliness directed towards others.  What they also had was our ring of truth.

blind confidence also helps

Perhaps someday, many of us thought, our story, or stories, would become just as popular has his were.  Or even surpass them.

And with a 12-member jury of Manhattanites on Thursday, that day finally came.  The one where the audience that mattered publicly turned their backs on one particularly bile-ridden string of lies he told and his defenders had enabled and/or supported.  Instead, they bought into the stories of a porn star, a reformed felon who was a character in some of his uglier stories, and those from a team of lawyers, magically woven from the remnants of real facts he had chosen to either omit, or his cohorts unknowingly (Note: Or perhaps even knowingly) left behind in a paper trail of notes, eyewitness accounts, and phone record transcripts in the cloud (Note: Whatever and wherever that is) that can never be erased.

Thanks jurors!

One final thing that might feel unrelated but isn’t.

As victorious as it felt after the verdicts of that jury, I still needed an escape from the aftermath repetition of his stories, which were pretty much everywhere you turned. 

So I searched and searched and eventually wound up at one of the tried and true places I normally go to begin with —

Well, just for a palette cleanser.

And who I chose was a singer and actress who just happens to be the most Tony Award-winning theatre actor in the history of Broadway –  Audra McDonald. 

Well, actually PBS chose it for me with their Great Performances presentation of her 2023 concert, Audra McDonald Live At The London Palladium.

Boy, did that do the trick.  Audra (Note: We all feel like we can call her that) is a born storyteller, known for her superhuman operatic voice which she can twist any which way – opera, Broadway, the blues, jazz, special material, you name it, as well as for her ability to climb any number of death defying acting feats via characters that on the surface seem far beyond the essence of the funny, down-to-earth and very contemporary self-admitted, “poor Black girl from Fresno” she really is.

Icon. Legend.

In 2014, she became Billie Holiday (Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar and Grill) and won the most recent of her six Tony Awards.  In 1994, I was in the audience at Lincoln Center when she became the first woman of color to star in a major production of the period musical Carousel alongside three other very white leads in this very traditional and extremely, very white play.  With that performance, Ms. McDonald’s (Note: Okay, Audra’s) undeniable talents broke open the door for color-blind casting and, as tricky as the visual was at first glance, in just a few moments onstage she sold you on her life story of that story, and won her first Tony award for it.

I bear witness to her early abilities as a different type of storyteller because it was announced this week that she will soon be playing the pinnacle of All musical theatre roles  – Rose, mother of the most famous stripper in the world (Note: Prior to Stormy Daniels), Gypsy Rose Lee – in yet another revival of what many consider the greatest Broadway musical in the canon of Broadway musicals, Gypsy.

Me, upon learning this news

Respect to Audra but also doubts by more than a few because Rose is a ball busting, big-belting, overbearing, borderline abusive, egomaniac parent.  She will do ANYTHING to get whatever she wants in the name of love for her children but, as she even realizes by the end of the show, it’s really for her.

There will be no such realization from our former president, the one who deflects his felony convictions, as well as three other indictments and pending trials for major crimes across the country, by proclaiming in the lobby of his gold gilted eighties skyscraper to his disgruntled supporters — I Am Your Grievance!

No matter how many court sentences he gets and no matter how many more years, or even decades, he lives on his daily junk food diet, he won’t realize it because after a lifetime of privileged delusion he is incapable of change.  It’s not in his DNA.  Unlike America.  Which despite our checkered history has managed to at the very least slowly evolve to an inevitable change that will continue to be told by a myriad of the best storytellers in the world till the end of time.

Audra’s with us

Whether that is change for the better – or we follow down the path of destruction blazed by so many once mighty world powers that came before us – led by a guy with a wispy-haired fake blonde comb over in multi-colored pancake makeup, remains to be seen.

I can’t say I’m looking forward to the next six months of him trying to own the public square and us, even though it will be worth it to see him become the massive loser I am certain he will become so publicly yet again next November.

But November does hold one surefire treat – Audra’s Gypsy begins previews at Broadway’s Majestic Theatre on Nov. 21st and opens Dec. 19th

this is the only red and blue I want to talk about

I have every faith she’s thought long and hard about how she will authentically become a selfish, steamrolling, very flawed person who, despite her shortcomings, will finally admit she’s made a lot mistakes, certainly more than 34 of them. 

And, in the end, we will love her for it.

Unlike some people, who keep telling the same old tired story in the same old tired way, expecting the same old tired result.

Audra McDonald – “Cornet Man”