A Storm is Gathering

Here’s what we now know about Donald Trump that we never wanted to know:

1- He doesn’t use condoms, even when he has sex with porn stars.

2- He actually enjoys being ordered to drop his pants so he can be lightly (or perhaps wholly, who knows?) dominated.

3- He often tells women he flirts with and/or bones that they remind him of his daughter.

EWWWWWW

All that and more was revealed when adult film actress/director/writer and stripper (I love all those monikers together!) Stormy Daniels sat down with Anderson Cooper for her 60 Minutes interview Sunday night.

Great get, CBS!!!

And…gee thanks, Stormy!!!

Of course, we either knew or could intuit most of the above. Even the separate bedrooms with Melania, the elaborate apparatus of pay-offs, legal maneuverings and physical threats were not shocking.

Yes, granted, the Las Vegas thug who came up to Stormy in the parking lot some years ago when she was carrying her infant daughter and was told to leave Trump alone because it would be a shame if something happened to her beautiful daughter’s Mom – okay, yeah – that was a surprise.

Sort of.

My face after hearing literally ANY trump news.

Still, that’s hearsay (not heresy, not yet anyway) and has nothing to do with Russia. Or does it?   Well, the ethnicity of the big guy was held back so who really knows for sure?

Well…who knows about anything for sure anymore?!!

Do you? I certainly don’t. And I’ve spent most of my life thinking that I did – know something, that is.

Okay, so I DO know a few things.

One is that Stormy on CBS was just one teensy portion of the bad weather that is brewing in the soap opera/reality show we now like to call The Homeland.

I will probably have to use this meme in every post until the end of the Trump administration

Not only do she and her very credible and powerful attorney Michael Avenatti (Note: He’s the guy who beat the NFL at their own game for millions of settlement dollars AND in his spare time races cars and, well, has dreamy blue eyes – there, I said it!) dangle the carrots of upcoming secret recordings and DVD images, each of them looked into the camera sternly and pretty much ORDERED Trump and his legal team to quit lyin’ about them (and their intentions) or else.

Sue me…. wink

So now that we do know for a fact that DT (or is it DD?) enjoys being ordered – well, according to credible/incredible Stormy anyway – it’s anyone’s guess what could happen next. I mean, he might defy them just in order to be punished, right?

You most certainly DON’T KNOW and NEITHER DO I!!

Meanwhile back on the other end of The Homeland in Washington, DC – which is also LITERALLY Trump country even if he did spend this weekend, as he usually does, at his lavish Mar A Lago Resort in Florida golfing – a different sort of storm broke on every one of the broadcast networks.

About 800,000 people flooded the streets of the Capitol to #MarchForOurLives –meaning a mass demand for stricter gun control – led by the a small group of teenagers who survived the recent mass shooting that killed 17 people (14 of them their classmates) and wounded 14 more at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla.

They were joined by millions more in cities across the country and all over the world as far away as Tokyo, Berlin, London and Paris. No, this is not #FakeNews. Take a look:

A sea of humanity

Yeah, and sorry, CBS – no exclusives, here. Everyone already knows!!!

Sure, there’s a debate about the numbers. The organizers say 800,000 in D.C. but the official government estimate is 200,000 plus – the latter estimate being as reliable as the government (Note: See 60 Minutes nee #Fake/#Real #News).

Nevertheless, it was hard to watch those kids on Saturday and NOT realize that the weather is shifting, and not in a good way, for all those elected officials who chose to take this weekend off and leave town to play golf. Or to just, well, play.

a different storm that is coming…

By next year the millennial generation (ages 20-35) will number 73 million vs. the Baby Boomers’ 72 million (and decreasing, because, um..some of us are going to…well…die?) and this group overwhelmingly disfavors the current D.C. majority, not to mention its policies. That being the case, you can imagine what and whom the Parkland high school survivors and their millions of followers favor.

If not, look at some of their live statements at #MarchForOurLives. They were abundantly clear AND moving, which is really saying something since:

  1. The youngest speaker was 11.
  2. The speaker who wrote the tribute poem literally THREW UP mid-rhyme beside the podium yet, comforted by another fellow survivor of a different shooting and of a different race, kept going with even greater verve and an even greater response.
  3. The final speaker, Parkland senior Emma Gonzales, the 17 year old viral sensation with the shaved head who just a short few weeks ago after the Florida shooting was the first person to break through ALL THE NOISE and literally CALL B.S. on all the powers-that-be who offered her thoughts and prayers but NO plan for legislative change – dropped the mic on all of us with four plus minutes of dead, stone cold silence.

The real deal

Years ago an acting teacher told my class that one of the strongest stances you could take in any scene you were in was to be still, say nothing and just react. When you are really present, committed and fully in the moment your power is undeniable, she said – to your scene partner, to your audience and to the camera. It will be the best piece of acting you will ever do because it won’t be acting. You will merely be.

Ms. Gonzales was not present that day all those years ago because she is only 17. But when the political becomes personal, when the hurt is undeniable and when words are indeed inadequate, every affected generation finds a handful of their peers who can crystalize what they want, feel and believe into a series of historic political actions. Ms. Gonzales is one such person for her group and this is one such action.

Check your local forecasts. There will be many more to come. And while you’re at it, buy a new umbrella.

Rihanna – “Umbrella”

Advertisements

The Porn Prez

Everything about Donald J. Trump is pornographic – his language, his actions, his lifestyle and even his appearance.

This is not so much a judgment as an observation.

Personally, I have nothing against pornography. It can be fun to observe or even to actively indulge in – but with moderation. Much like a great bottle of wine, a pitcher of margaritas, or an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. 

Me, but with trashy reality shows #sorrynotsorry

But to indulge in any one of them on an endless loop daily would profoundly affect one’s psyche – not to mention one’s physical self – and ultimately not in a good way.

For instance, I know I’d put a gun to my head in you strapped me in a chair for hours at a time seven days a week and forced me to stay current (kurrent?) with Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kylie, Kendall and mom Kris.

Still never gets old #momager

The fact that I even know all of their names makes me want to shoot myself.

This is what Trump is doing to the country. Well, half the country.

Okay, 3 million more than half.

Maybe 4 million at this point. Though I might be overestimating. A diet of pornography will do that to you. Everything feels…well, bigger. Or at least more orange.

The point is, the majority of us do want to shoot ourselves. Or someone.

Don’t deny it. The thought has crossed your mind and more than once. Where the (metaphorical?) bullet goes depends on whether you are a masochist or a sadist, a pessimist or an optimist. But the perverse urge to misbehave in some very, very VERY obscene way is there. How could it not be when every day we’re treated to a new episode of Donald Does _____XXXXX_____.

well we know the storm is coming…

Stormy?

Comey?

McCabe?

Mueller?

The FBI?

The Dreamers?

The Justice Department?

High School students?

Or just any Woman in his way or with whom he has had his way? Or not.

Who will be eliminated next? #staytuned #dowehaveto?

Though certainly not the NRA. That much we can take to the bank(s). Which are doing just fine, and probably financing a whole new group of American made steel and aluminum McMansions even as we speak.

Do I sound bitter? Certainly, not! Why would I be? I have health insurance, a job, a 401-K and better interest rates than my parents ever dreamed of. And I’m in the top percentage of earners in the country. What more could I possibly want?   And, have you listened to yourself lately???

Okay, I will admit to some rage.

Nothing to see here

I carry it with me in traffic as I curse the person with Arizona plates driving in front of me in beautiful urban Los Angeles, sure that they voted for Donald Does while living in their own aluminum and steel faux McMansion – which is nestled on the corner of a golf course that doesn’t let in Jews or Black people.

I’m not proud of this. But at least I’m aware. Though I’m not sure if that means anything. Certainly not that I’m even close to being fully #woke. Or want to be.

More than one person in the last year and a half has told me the Trump presidency feels like a dream – either in the sweet or nightmare scenario, depending on what their political stance was at any given moment.

so like.. when can I move to Mars? #hurryupElonMusk

Well, that makes sense. There have been studies that say pornography can greatly increase and/or influence our dreams – even boost our fantasy libidos – because it stimulates dopamine in our brain.  That’s the neurotransmitter responsible for giving us a high. Like a good bottle of wine or a pitcher of margaritas or….

Okay, I wont say it. But I will say this —

In some cases this is a good high and in others this high is WAY TOO GOOD and makes us an addict.

You may say: But Chair, this doesn’t make any sense. Donald Does gives me no pleasure. He doesn’t make me high. He makes me angry. It’s not the same.

Really??? So you never…hate watch???

YES RU

Now I’m not saying our/my addiction to hate watching every move on Donald Does is making us/me into what we/I have become. (Note: And oh yes, reading episode and/or weekly recaps counts too).

Nor am I saying hate watching Keeping Up with Donald Does is NOT making us into just that..

I am only observing/actively indulging in the idea that the Opioid epidemic is not the only insidious addiction currently ripping apart the fabric of our country.

And that we might consider in this newest class of Opioids, the only solution is to refuse to buy it. And then come together to take the damn thing off the market, at which time it will be destroyed (Note: Either by us or by self-immolation) and/or put under lock and key for good

Think of it as a human assault weapon, not a toxic reality show, that has somehow managed to cleverly masquerade itself as porn.

Florence + The Machine – “Kiss With a Fist”