Tin Foil Hat Fitting

I live in Los Angeles and Adam Schiff is my senator. 

Yup.  Him. 

This guy right here

The guy who was head of the House Intelligence Committee from 2019-2023.  The one who was lead impeachment manager in the first impeachment trial of the 45th president of the U.S. 

The Jewish guy Trump still refers to as Shifty Schiff.

Cannot roll my eyes more

I can’t claim to know FOR SURE what POTUS means by the nickname, meaning I can’t prove it in a court of law.  But what I do know is that one of the racist stereotypes about we Jews is that we’re shifty.  Meaning you can’t trust us. 

Apparently this dates back to the 12th century when French theologian Peter of Blois introduced the idea that we Jews could change shapes in order to deceive people.  He likened us to The Devil, who I guess is a guy able to morph into monstrous shapes in order to advance his own nefarious, and bottom line poisonous, agenda to turn the world against itself.

Obfuscating who you really are and what you truly want to do by posing as a bottom line nice guy who cares?

Imagine!

Red tie and all

Well, what do I know? The fact is, we Jews don’t believe in the Devil or even Hell. 

Though nefarious and bottom line poisonous agendas are a fact of life you accept the older you get.  You can’t prove them in a court of law but, like obscenity, you get to know them when you see them.

As I watch tens of thousands of federal workers fired without reason by button-pushing twenty-something DOGE bros, many of them self-avowed racists; veterans benefits being slashed, and the hollowing out of every major government agency by new leadership who previously questioned the very necessity of that agency, my obscenity buzzer has been going off non-stop. (Note: As opposed to getting off, which seems likely to soon become a punishable felony if Project 2025’s plan to outlaw porn on the Internet becomes the reality there is no reason to believe it won’t be.)

Think I should try wiggling my nose?

I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to wonder if it’s a good thing to have our new Secretary of Health and Human Services reacting to a concerning outbreak of measles in the southwest by suggesting the use of cod liver as a remedy before a proven 97% effective measles vaccine.  A shot that quickly became a CURE for a lethal and HIGHLY contagious disease that infected 3-4 million people annually and killed many, many thousands, mostly children, prior to the mid-1960s.

A disease that was deemed eradicated in the U.S. in 2000, before vaccine skeptics like Sec. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., began muddying the waters.

Too much?

Can I prove in court Sec. Kennedy is responsible for the rise in measles, or that his heroic father, the late Robert F Kennedy, Sr., is rolling over in his grave at his son’s actions?  Certainly not.

No more than I can prove it’s not a good idea to have a guy who has zero medical training who very publicly waxed nostalgic recently about his early days as a heroin addict because it allowed him to finally focus in college, as HHS secretary for 360 million people.

You just get a feeling about things. 

That sums it up

And when you pay attention to facts and deeds – not as you want them to be but as what they really are – you begin to find that your instincts about more than you can imagine turn out to be spot on.

For instance, imagine literally watching one very large and powerful country – okay, let’s say Russia –  drop a bunch of bombs on a much smaller country – fine, for argument’s sake let’s say the Ukraine – three years ago in videos from right, left and center news sources all over the world. 

What videos??

Then imagine, just a week or two ago, the president of another large country – YOUR country – and for lack of a better example and because so many readers live in America, let’s say it’s the United States – claiming that Ukraine was the real culprit because it was Ukraine that actually invaded Russia three years ago?   

Would you believe that leader of the United States, or what you and everyone else saw through their own eyes.  More importantly, based on facts and experience, would you blanketly believe ANYTHING said, by that particular leader of the United States, about anything important ever again?

Uh… sure

And let’s go further, would you even believe them about the price of eggs???

When the richest man in the world – Elon Musk – gleefully bounced up and down brandishing a bejeweled chain saw a few weeks ago at an ultra-conservative political conference, reveling in all the billions of dollars in government jobs and services he was, ahem, cutting  (Note:  In fact, it turned out it was merely in the low hundreds of millions, not billions) it was bad enough. 

But once you heard the president of U.S. encourage him to cut even more, it began to make me wonder about…a lot of things.

I’m getting good at these

And as I listenied to #47 bore into Social Security during his speech before Congress last week, lying about billions of dollars of payments to scamming and dead US citizens up to 350 years old that were still listed on the digital payroll (Note:  It turns out that these dozens of thousands of people listed digitally receive ZERO payments because it’s more expensive and confusing to the system to erase their names digitally) my obscenity buzzer began to go off. 

Again. 

And incessantly. 

Red flags everywhere!

Especially after in his speech he declared Mr. Musk the head of DOGE, publicly and forcefully contradicting the legal briefs he had government lawyers file just days before that Mr. Musk was NOT running the agency but was merely an advisor.

And especially in light of DOGE’s most controversial move weeks before.  The courts granting them permission to copy ALL of the digital information on EVERY AMERICAN the social security administration has on file in the entire country.  That’s everyone who works or has ever worked.  Almost ALL of us.

And not just our payments.  Where we live. Where we bank.  How much we earn.  Our next of kin.    Our medical records.  Where we vote.  What we own. 

ALL. OF. IT.

I’m outtie

Now, what could the richest man in the world – a tech genius with billions of dollars in U.S. government contracts, a guy who contributed approximately $300 million, likely more, to get #47 elected, be planning to do with that information, along with the guy he helped get elected?  What did that money buy him but, more importantly, was his technological acumen able to provide #47 anything ELSE in return?

If you believe what he was spouting while waving that chainsaw up in the air, like a Roman warrior about to make a kill, this is all about saving the government money.  But in what way?  And how will we ever know? 

Uh oh they’re back

Social security payments in the hands of the richest man in the world who grew up in apartheid South Africa with a father who was a proud neo-Nazi and has blamed the LGBTQ woke community for turning one of his children trans, does not bode well for people like me and Sen Schiff.  (Note: And forget he’s got 13 offspring. And counting).

Nor does #47’s proclamation in his speech last week that “God saved” him from an assassin’s bullet during his presidential campaign to make America great again.

Am I repeating myself again?

Instead consider — what exactly does THAT mean?  And for whom?  And how?

I can’t prove it in a court of law, but whatever it is it doesn’t bode well for democracy.

Ariana Grande + Cynthia Erivo – Oscars Opening Number

Got Beef?

I was going to weigh in this week on Tucker Carlson being fired by Fox but the thought of writing about him made me nauseous.

More nauseating was that Tucker was the highest rated host on cable news (Note: By a lot), probably in great part for spewing a lot of American nativist rhetoric with racist, sexist and anti-Semitic dog whistles.

Boy bye!

Yeah, when you resist calling someone a racist, sexist Jew hater outright you couch it with phrases like dog whistles so you don’t sound overly vitriolic and hysterical from the get-go.  But I’m not even sure there’s much value to that these days.

I just finished watching Netflix’s original, mesmerizing and often confounding limited series Beef.  It stars Steven Yeun and Ali Wong as two people involved in what can kindly be called a road rage incident that escalates into a full out war to their metaphorical deaths.

Like their episode one characters, I used to flip off people in my car for doing something I saw as particularly egregious like cutting me off or driving too fast or too slow.

As most people who live in Los Angeles do at least two, or three, or four hundred times during their lives. 

But I don’t do it anymore because I’ve learned to prioritize and have had years of therapy. 

Still that doesn’t work for everyone.

I get it

As Mr. Yeun cautions Ms. Wong in one of the best lines in the series:

Western therapy doesn’t work on eastern minds.

Good as that observation is in the context of those characters, I’m wondering whether insight and appropriately channeled anger is all that it’s cracked up to be for any one of us in 2023. 

I mean, giving someone the finger is certainly a healthier reaction than, say, shooting them in the head.

When can we move to the moon?

It also beats disowning a relative simply because you disagree with their politics.  It even trumps (Note: Sorry) living each day waiting for the next misogynist, bigoted or privilege-enabled remark someone makes just so you can toss out your very well rehearsed retort back to silence them.

Flipping someone off the old-fashioned way is just so… clean.   

Like a succinct stroll down memory lane of the way things used to be.  If only it didn’t lead to the kind of inevitable destruction and death the way it sometimes does in Beef, and now too frequently happens in real life, I’d do it all day. 

And night.

… and it beats the alternatives!

Here’s just a brief list of things and circumstances that would get my middle finger this week:

1 – Montana Rep. Kerri Seekins-Crowe sponsored a bill in the state to ban gender-affirming care for transgender minors, even with parental approval.  And in a speech she made on the floor of the legislature she went viral for saying she’d rather risk her daughter dying of suicide than allow her to transition

She backed this up by proclaiming her own daughter was, in fact, suicidal for three years.  And when someone once asked her if she wouldn’t do anything to help save her, Rep. KSC’s response, after some thought, was a firm:

No…I was not going to give in to her emotional manipulation…I was not going to let her tear apart my family and I was not going to let her tear me apart…

Big time

Really?  Well, here’s my f-n middle finger Kerri. Choke on it.  And if your daughter happens to read this she can feel free to shoot me an email.  She might not be trans, you don’t ever quite say, but quite clearly she’s depressed and needs to be around someone who will not only listen but also hear what’s on her mind. #BiteMe #MissHannigan #YoureAStoneColdWtch

2- During a Congressional hearing on school closures during COVID, US Congresswoman and national embarrassment Marjorie Taylor-Greene (GA-R) this week asked Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers and a married out lesbian, if she was a mother. 

When Ms. Weingarten answered that she was a mother by marriage, aka a stepmother, large Marge called her out by declaring she was not a biological mother.  She later went on to emphasize: The problem is, people like you need to admit… you’re a political activist, not a teacher, not a mother, and not a….

Get the picture?

Well, you get the picture….of me sticking my middle finger in her eye and up her…

And that would cheer my late and fabulous stepmother Shelly, who I think about daily, to no end.  And I can also guarantee that if my biological mother Marion were still alive to hear this she would literally say Marjorie Taylor-Greene can go f-ck herself! Just who in the hell does she think she is, anyway??

3- At his civil rape trial this week, Trump’s lawyer Joe Tacopina grilled writer E. Jean Carroll on the validity of the events that led her to file a suit against his client decades later for assaulting and raping her in a Bergdof Goodman dressing room in the mid-1990s.

Who is casting these lawyers?

At one point in his cross-examination, Tacopina blithely used the word supposedly when referring to Ms. Carroll’s accusation.

Not supposedly.  I was raped, she retorted.

That’s your version, Ms. Carroll.  That you were raped, Tacopina countered.

Those are the facts, she insisted.

It then escalated when he pressed her on why she didn’t scream.

I’m not a screamer…I was fighting.  You can’t beat up on me for not screaming.

Let’s start there…

Denying her was beating up on her, Tacopina continued on with that style of questioning, but Ms. Carroll was not having any of it, noting that women often stay silent about attacks for years because they’re afraid of being questioned on why they didn’t physically do more to stop it.

They are always asked, why didn’t you scream?… I’m telling you he raped me, whether I screamed or not…

Clearly, Ms. Carroll doesn’t need me, or any man, to defend her from questioning by an attorney that seems like a bit player who never made it on camera during all six seasons of The Sopranos.

Nevertheless, I will. 

Hey Joe — This is why you are in the minority and the reason why most people under 40 are merely waiting for you and your kind to die off and go away so this can be a better world.  My only regret is I will likely not live long enough to dance on all of your graves.  In the meantime, here’s an Instagram photo of the biggest digit in my right hand to put under your pillow. #DouchyMcDouche

and it’s on fire!

4 –Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, an announced 2024 Republican presidential candidate who is polling at barely 6%, far behind Trump and DeSantis and not even close enough to surpass Mike Pence, decided to weigh on in on, of all things, the subject of AGE a few days ago in a Hail Mary attempt to get into the news cycle.

So desperate is she for attention that after Pres. Biden this week announced his reelection campaign, Ms. Haley warned on Fox News that he wouldn’t make it to the end of a second term.

Oh for the love of god

…I think we can all be very clear and say with a matter of fact that if you vote for Joe Biden you really are counting on a President Harris, because the idea that he would make it until 86 years old is not something that I think is likely.

Nice.

And so good to know she’s got a bead on these things.

Not that it matters but…Biden’s Mom lived to be 92 and ½ and his Dad made it to 87.  And they died a full one and two decades ago, respectively.    Which means that given the president’s genes, access to top quality health care and the advances in medical science, he could easily live to be…100.

He will outlive us all just to spite you

Suck on my middle finger, Nikki, until you can figure out some other strategy to lift yourself up from the hellscape that your life has become.  You also might rethink tossing a Molotov cocktail across the bow at Kamala.  In the minds of many in your party, you two have A LOT MORE in common than you might think.  #ThinkAboutIt

5-  And speaking of middle fingers, what about….Succession??  I, for one, was thrilled when the old fart dropped dead.  F-CK ‘EM!  ALL of them.  And randy Cousin Greg, too. 

Because do you really care at this point what happens to the fictionalized HBO version of Fox News when we get to see the real one, and its family, slowly imploding before our eyes, in the actual news cycle, each week?

for emphasis… of course

I’ll raise BOTH my middle fingers to that.  And all of yours, if I could.

Charlie Day – “Go F*ck Yourselves”