Just Give Me a Shot!

The Chair is eligible for a COVID vaccine and, after many, many, many MANY tries, finally got an appointment for the first shot on Monday.  This is no small thing for someone who lives in Los Angeles, the national epicenter for COVID infection during the month of January. 

screams internally

There are good things and bad things about being eligible right now to get the shot.

1. Bad: You are, for the most part, in a very high-risk group of getting infected and perhaps dying from the disease.

2. Good:  There IS a vaccine and, with any luck, soon everyone will get one.  So in essence, it’s all good.

But LUCK is the key word. 

Another is PRIVILEGE.

JUST DON’T SAY OLD!

Still another is comedy of errors, if one can find humor in such things.

And if one were REALLY cynical (Note: And at this point, who isn’t?) one might also add key words and phrases like:

  1. Herculean, near impossible, challenge
  2. Severe disorganization
  3. Sheer, near criminal, incompetence of the prior Administration, or
  4. Sheer, purposeful and actual criminal indifference (Note: And perhaps willing passive genocide of the masses) by the prior Administration in order to open up the economy (Note: Admittedly a hair-brained scheme and one that didn’t work) in order to remain in power

Still, I digress.

Catharsis

It is not lost on anyone sane (Note: which eliminates at least two newly elected U.S. congresswomen) that after less than two weeks of a Biden-Harris Administration there is now a national vaccination plan by the federal government and a seemingly miraculous surge of shots in arms. (#MiracleORMedicine?)

That is, if you can figure out how to get one in a nation of 328 million people.

This is where luck AND ingenuity comes in.

Not entirely incorrect

It might be strangely reassuring to some that many wealthy, privileged and even famous people are having as much trouble booking an appointment at this point as the next guy or gal.

Except Cher.  I’m sure Cher has gotten one.  And frankly, she deserves it for making it this far. 

Please, the COVID vaccine WANTS Cher! #queen

Though on second thought, I doubt even COVID would have had a chance of stopping either her or, say, Keith Richards.  Nevertheless, pandemic past as prologue best not to tempt fate.                       

Which brings us back to ingenuity and luck, something those two know something about.

(Note:  Those are random names that came to mind.  Please feel free to substitute anyone you know OR don’t know but have feelings about, even yourself).

SHOTS FOR DAMES!

Among the people I know in my COVID vaccine eligible group, which is many, I’m one of the last, if not THE last, to procure an appointment. 

I registered at the county site, emailed doctors, stayed in touch with a hospital I’ve had other shots and procedures at, scoured social media and even begged friends to give me their secret. 

Bupkus.

No appointments, no openings in your area…

NOOOOO

Well, at one point there was something at a sketchy clinic I never heard of in an area I was unfamiliar with.  And after living in L.A. for almost four decades, that’s really saying something.  But even there, I was told I could get one shot but for the second I was on my own.

That means the clock would start ticking every day for 21 days after getting that first injection and the Hunger Games shoot for the next vaccine would start all over again.

He knows it’s true

I figured the stress of that could do me in sooner than COVID given my personality type so I decided, um, no. Thank you, next.

Then two people in a row I knew booked, then another, then three more.

Chair, I told you to type in the place I just signed up at.  They HAVE appointments!!!

No, they f-n don,’t, I replied.  It says, no appointments are available, check back later.  I’m not an idiot!

Nor am I lucky.  OR ingenious.  That’s even less debatable than the Jewish Space Laser aimed at California that caused the wildfires several months ago.

Meanwhile, parents of acquaintances, Facebook friends of friends I didn’t know who lived nearby, even some people I heard about who weren’t sure they wanted a shot to begin with but just figured, ah the heck with it, , I guess if they’re offering, were posting photos with their names, first vaccine date verified, and second appointment confirmed, everywhere I looked.

Meanwhile, I have now not used my car in two weeks, a near impossible feat in a town in the City of Dreams.  Or, well, former dreams.

Though, where would I be going anyway during this surge upon a surge where no one of my age or medical condition can drive or walk down the street without someone shaking their head in pity.

Excuuuuuuuuse me?

But here’s the good news.  Again.  I wasn’t sick.  Or dead.  Yet.

But nor was I as smart as I thought I was.  Perhaps I was no longer smart AT ALL.  And NEVER WAS.

What I can say I’ve always been is determined and relentless.  Meaning in a new burst of energy, I was now checking the county and hospital websites at least five times a day (Note: Okay, maybe six or eight),  I was even getting more positive thinking.  I KNEW I’d get that little sucker of an appointment soon.  It was just a matter of perseverance.  Hell, I’d eked out a Hollywood writing career by mostly not giving up.  This would be a piece of cake compared to that.

MOVE

Or so I told myself.

Which is why this week I almost lost it.  After checking the online site that very morning I drove (Note: Finally!) to a medical appointment with my urologist (Note: Over share, I know) and while I was in the exam room waiting for my doctor,  I got a text from a close friend  saying she had LITERALLY JUST REGISTERED for a shot at THIS PLACE and to DO IT NOW!

Me, all week

Well, I had already given my sample, so I figured, oh, who cares, if a nurse comes in wanting something else they’ll understand.   I start typing on my phone but you know about Internet signals in medical buildings, right?

 But why had I just received my friend’s text and now couldn’t….

Oh, screw this sideways and backwards.  And this time I mean it.

I put my phone away, swearing I’d now NEVER get the vaccine, out of spite.

Of course, that didn’t happen because as soon as you give up on something a door opens (Note: Especially when you don’t care anymore.  I should have remembered this from all the bad relationships I had in my twenties). This weekend my sister texted me that a guy posted on Twitter that CSUN (California State University at Northridge) had just opened a number of appointments.

I type in my zip code.  Nothing.  Then I thought to type in the Northridge zip code.  Something.

Well hello Chair, choose your date and time!!  Pfizer or Moderna?

Cut to me singing Age of Aquarius

All this is to say, it’s not you.  It’s THEM.  And no, it shouldn’t have to be this hard.

Until then my best advice is this:

Fight every battle like you’re Cicely Tyson in the sixties and seventies.

She was a goddess.  I had to.

RIP MS. TYSON (1924-2021)

Cast of Hamilton – “My Shot”

Making an Impact

I want to make a difference, says just about everybody at least once.

This is especially the case lately in these Un-United States.

Though ALL OF OF US, every last one, do still live in a country that now rips children from the arms of their parents crossing the border and cages them in holding facilities where they see an hour of sunlight a day.

This, by the way, while our attorney general smiles creepily about it as he gleefully quotes a Bible passage used previously by the Third Reich (Note: aka The Nazis) to defend it.

Yes, we have to own our current failures and keep repeating these facts whenever we can even if SINGELHANDLEDLY we can’t change them.

If only because historically it takes A LOT for Americans to make political change but as a people we DO CHANGE – though usually only when our backs are against the wall and there is no other alternative.

Or, as one oft quoted line goes:

Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing – after they have exhausted all other possibilities.

Over the years this has been attributed to everyone from Winston Churchill to Israeli politician Abba Eban, to an unnamed “Irishman” to, well, any amalgamation of sources.  Which makes it no less true.

There is, of course, an argument to be made that everybody thinks they are making a difference because they themselves are different. Every Instagram photo, each Facebook post, all the Twitter rants undisputedly reach people and can be a catalyst to GREAT CHANGE.

… and that’s why there are 96 colors in the box

Or simply deflation when one realizes it didn’t matter as much to everyone else as it did to us. And that even though one or more people than you thought noticed or followed or commented you will NEVER in ten lifetimes match Katy Perry’s 110 MILLION Twitter followers or even Trump’s 52 million.

If only Katy were twice as powerful.

disney princess today… President tomorrow? #itcouldhappen #noreallyitcould

Still, it is essential to remember that each of us has A LOT more power than we think. In fact, every day we hold in our hands the possibility of affecting pivotal decisions, sometimes even life and death ones, among others that cross our paths.

And if you think this isn’t so you have never been a teacher, a mentor, a friend, a lover, a parent or even enemy to anyone.

This, of course, is impossible. In those areas we are ALL double-hyphenates – at the very least.

It is not an exaggeration to say that you never know the full effect you are having on someone you forge any sort of relationship with. Sure, you know what YOU get from them but you don’t truly know how your thoughts, deeds, actions or lack of them served as a catalyst to another person’s change – which then precipitates others, who in turn go on to inspire many others, and then go on to create ______________.

You flatter me so #imblushing

Well, you get the picture. Though perhaps you don’t.

I myself have to be reminded of this every so often, usually when my psyche is at an all time low after seeing kids, usually non-white and poor, taken away from their parents for no other crime than fleeing to the one country where they were told there was an opportunity for freedom – an equal playing field where anyone, even them, could make something of their lives.

Even if this were never true for all (and most especially them in 2018) is beside the point. The United States was always more an idea than a reality. It is no different than the honest advice you might give to a beloved friend or the warm feelings you can’t help but share with a mysterious potential lover who never dreamed anyone would dare think of them the way that you do.

Paging your inner Eliza Dolittle #Icouldhavedancedallnight

Sometimes all any of us have to do is say what we feel (or believe) to someone else, give them something to think about, and change can begin to happen for them, and us, right before our eyes. Other times the timing is wrong but it doesn’t mean there won’t be a great result when we’re not around. In still other cases, we might reach no one but the mere fact that we attempted to finally connect might immeasurably help ourselves, giving us just a little more courage to speak up in different circumstances where the connection we’re trying to make could be much more significant. Or perhaps in the end it’s just another baby step towards, well, something else.

This week I attended an event in honor of the 125th anniversary of Ithaca College held at Walt Disney Studios. It was a big blowout hosted by I.C. alum Robert Iger, Disney’s chairman and chief executive officer – a guy who is arguably one of the top 10 most powerful people in the entertainment industry.

After me… of course #wink

Aside from the fact that he looks great while somehow being even OLDER than I am (Note: And let’s face it, that’s all that we in L.A. really care about, right?), it was fascinating to see the face of this guy brighten when he talked about the meaningful human connections HIS COLLEGE LIFE gave him and taught him – so much so that forty plus years later he agreed to show up and host the gala festivities on his own studio’s back lot the very day he lost his much publicized attempt to acquire 20th Century Fox, to one of his rivals, Comcast.

I’ve held an endowed CHAIR (ahem) position, taught writing and mentored countless students and graduates at the school’s L.A. campus for more than 15 years and in that evening found myself face to face with more grown up versions of people that I will always remember fondly as the not quite adults Mr. Iger once was than you can count.

Feeling very proud #channelingmyinnerMaggie

Forget that some of them now have kids who are teenagers and know a lot more about so many things relevant to today’s world than I do.

What I will always remember from that evening are the numerous instances someone came up to me and recalled some pivotal time where I managed to somehow say something that made them not give up, imparted some little piece of craft (Note: That, no doubt, someone had taught me) that fixed a problem with their work which felt insurmountable or imparted some tiny piece of life advice or social statement (Note: Likely perched on the soapbox I carry around with me, along with my manifesto of liberal talking points) that gave them the confidence to engage in the battle of the world to get what THEY really wanted.

OK.. maybe channeling my inner Ron Burgundy

I mean, who KNEW? At this point, it’s not as if I can remember 85% of the things I’ve said in the past – or even in the very recent present. Though I will confidently proclaim that in every case, whether I remembered it or not, I had NO IDEA what I was saying was even being listened to, much less important to anyone I was saying it to.

It was merely spontaneous engagement on a topic with a group of people sitting in a room and sort of willing (Note: Yeah, sometimes it is tough) to engage.

That’s not the stuff of great teaching. It’s more the talent we all have – of being a thoughtful, decent, listening and reactive human being. At the end of the day it’s only the give and take and exchange of ideas with others that ultimately makes any real difference at all. Or has the chance to.

Four Tops – “Reach Out (I’ll Be There)”