Loving the Ricardos

I’m a college professor and a writer so no matter how hard of a professional day I have, let’s face it, I’m not working in the mines. 

Please don’t share that with my college’s senior leadership team or any producer, director or editor I might work with in the future.

Even though deep down they know the same applies to them.

#WriterLife

Nevertheless, it’s hell out there these days, isn’t it?  Or some human replica of what we imagine it to be.   

In a few weeks we’ll be going into our third calendar year of the COVID pandemic.  Though three doses of either a Pfizer or Moderna vaccine (Note: The third being your all important booster shot) can pretty much ensure you of not dying, becoming hospitalized or even seriously ill with this potential demon only 30% of the country have so far been boosted.

Don’t ask me why, that’s way above my pay grade.  Though if you press me I’ll say stupidity, stubbornness and willful ignorance, not necessarily in that order.

Yes, Grandma, they are.

To give you an idea of how infectious the new Omicron variant is, New York State set a record of 21,027 new cases on Thursday, the single HIGHEST number since this all began almost three calendar years ago.  (Note: Didn’t I just bring up those THREE calendar years?  Well, I’m doing it again).

There are all kinds of other statistics but perhaps none as sobering as almost 5.4 million deaths worldwide, including 805,000 in the U.S.  The numbers continue to go up and if you continue to be unvaccinated know hell is no longer just waiting for you outside your door but finding better and more clever ways to vaporize itself beneath it and into your system even as I write.

Just call him Omicron

This is why everyone needs to do TWO things this Christmas season.

#1 – GET YOUR F’N VACCINE.

And —

#2 – Watch BEING THE RICARDOS either at the movie theatre wearing a mask, or at home on Amazon beginning Tuesday, Dec. 21st.

You didn’t think we were going down that road, did you?

Wait, really?

But we are taking that turn because you and I and everyone we know is tired of talking about COVID and all of the things we can’t, shouldn’t or should do.  In fact, we’re going out of our f’n minds doing so.

Broadway is closing down left and right, local theatre the same.  Sporting events are getting cancelled or postponed and if you’re going to be attending a music concert in these winter months inside, good luck to you.

No, seriously, good luck.  You’ll need it.

Best wishes from Katniss

However, the one thing we can do is sit at home and partake in that age-old American tradition of watching a movie. 

The entertainment industry is trying to get us all to go out but, with infection numbers spiking so much in just two weeks PRIOR to Christmas, it’s getting more and more unlikely there is going to be a rush to anything at your local theatres.

EXCEPT for the new Spiderman: No Way Home, which broke box office records this weekend because we live in a sick world where the idea of watching a superhero is far more appealing to the American public than actually being one in real life by getting a f’n vaccine.

I mean he is so cute

But if you are actually an adult tired of all that, or a kid or adult like me who was never into superheroes (Note: Except the campy 1960s TV series Batman, which really doesn’t count because Tallulah Bankhead, Eartha Kitt, Victor Buono and Caesar Romero as super villains is too good to turn down), Being The Ricardos will momentary take your mind off of it all.

Not that writer-director Aaron Sorkin’s smart, fast-talking and clever take on the private and professional lives of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz – or as we still know them, Lucy and Ricky Ricardo of I Love Lucy fame- isn’t both super and heroic in its own way.

Super Lucy!

In fact, it is at times both serious and affecting.  But it is also always entertaining, thoroughly watchable and a marvel.  The latter is because somehow Mr. Sorkin has managed to throw us back into the 1950s via what is probably the most famous television series in history and yet somehow not get swallowed up by the legend of it all.

He’s is helped greatly by Nicole Kidman and Javier Bardem, who so manage to evoke the spirits of Lucy and Desi onscreen that it’s as if you’re eavesdropping on the better, mover clever version of every conversation, seduction and argument they’d tried to ever have but likely never literally ever had.

Thanks for the rave review!

This is what writing teachers and critics and writers like myself preach when we say that the work should evoke real life without ever literally being real life. 

This is because real life doesn’t happen in three-act structure and can often have endless deadly dull moments in the space of two hours. 

Films, on the other hand, can use those two hours to tell the story of a year, a month, or – in the case of Being the Ricardos – a key week in your life.  And they can do this by showcasing the spirit of your truth in a much more entertaining way than a bunch of cinema verite home movies that you personally shot or even lived could ever hope to do.

Get Back shade?

Movies, at their best, can capture the magic we know sometimes happens in life, with all the good and bad our humanity offers.  And with the right combination of artists and technicians they can also harness all that passion and verve we humans get to experience in a way that reminds us of who we are in those times, at times like these, where it’s easy to forget.

It helps that I Love Lucy still cracks me up and was one of my favorite shows as a kid.  But that’s not truly why I’m on the Ricardo/Sorkin soapbox at the moment.

No one like her!

It’s because for two hours the creative team behind this film made me forget how absolutely screwed up everything is at the moment by telling me a story about a fictional week in the lives of a couple of Americans where absolutely everything was also screwed up for them.

Yeah, it was literally quite different.  But screwed up is screwed up.

AND it made me laugh, forget and finally feel something other than COVID-stark raving madness while doing it.

Just in time for Christmas!

If that’s not the best holiday present you can give yourself in the next two weeks, I got nothin’ else.

But know you certainly won’t get it from The Power of the Dog, despite what every major film critics association want you to believe and labor with.

Meow.

But I’m right.

Being the Ricardos Trailer

Just Give Me a Shot!

The Chair is eligible for a COVID vaccine and, after many, many, many MANY tries, finally got an appointment for the first shot on Monday.  This is no small thing for someone who lives in Los Angeles, the national epicenter for COVID infection during the month of January. 

screams internally

There are good things and bad things about being eligible right now to get the shot.

1. Bad: You are, for the most part, in a very high-risk group of getting infected and perhaps dying from the disease.

2. Good:  There IS a vaccine and, with any luck, soon everyone will get one.  So in essence, it’s all good.

But LUCK is the key word. 

Another is PRIVILEGE.

JUST DON’T SAY OLD!

Still another is comedy of errors, if one can find humor in such things.

And if one were REALLY cynical (Note: And at this point, who isn’t?) one might also add key words and phrases like:

  1. Herculean, near impossible, challenge
  2. Severe disorganization
  3. Sheer, near criminal, incompetence of the prior Administration, or
  4. Sheer, purposeful and actual criminal indifference (Note: And perhaps willing passive genocide of the masses) by the prior Administration in order to open up the economy (Note: Admittedly a hair-brained scheme and one that didn’t work) in order to remain in power

Still, I digress.

Catharsis

It is not lost on anyone sane (Note: which eliminates at least two newly elected U.S. congresswomen) that after less than two weeks of a Biden-Harris Administration there is now a national vaccination plan by the federal government and a seemingly miraculous surge of shots in arms. (#MiracleORMedicine?)

That is, if you can figure out how to get one in a nation of 328 million people.

This is where luck AND ingenuity comes in.

Not entirely incorrect

It might be strangely reassuring to some that many wealthy, privileged and even famous people are having as much trouble booking an appointment at this point as the next guy or gal.

Except Cher.  I’m sure Cher has gotten one.  And frankly, she deserves it for making it this far. 

Please, the COVID vaccine WANTS Cher! #queen

Though on second thought, I doubt even COVID would have had a chance of stopping either her or, say, Keith Richards.  Nevertheless, pandemic past as prologue best not to tempt fate.                       

Which brings us back to ingenuity and luck, something those two know something about.

(Note:  Those are random names that came to mind.  Please feel free to substitute anyone you know OR don’t know but have feelings about, even yourself).

SHOTS FOR DAMES!

Among the people I know in my COVID vaccine eligible group, which is many, I’m one of the last, if not THE last, to procure an appointment. 

I registered at the county site, emailed doctors, stayed in touch with a hospital I’ve had other shots and procedures at, scoured social media and even begged friends to give me their secret. 

Bupkus.

No appointments, no openings in your area…

NOOOOO

Well, at one point there was something at a sketchy clinic I never heard of in an area I was unfamiliar with.  And after living in L.A. for almost four decades, that’s really saying something.  But even there, I was told I could get one shot but for the second I was on my own.

That means the clock would start ticking every day for 21 days after getting that first injection and the Hunger Games shoot for the next vaccine would start all over again.

He knows it’s true

I figured the stress of that could do me in sooner than COVID given my personality type so I decided, um, no. Thank you, next.

Then two people in a row I knew booked, then another, then three more.

Chair, I told you to type in the place I just signed up at.  They HAVE appointments!!!

No, they f-n don,’t, I replied.  It says, no appointments are available, check back later.  I’m not an idiot!

Nor am I lucky.  OR ingenious.  That’s even less debatable than the Jewish Space Laser aimed at California that caused the wildfires several months ago.

Meanwhile, parents of acquaintances, Facebook friends of friends I didn’t know who lived nearby, even some people I heard about who weren’t sure they wanted a shot to begin with but just figured, ah the heck with it, , I guess if they’re offering, were posting photos with their names, first vaccine date verified, and second appointment confirmed, everywhere I looked.

Meanwhile, I have now not used my car in two weeks, a near impossible feat in a town in the City of Dreams.  Or, well, former dreams.

Though, where would I be going anyway during this surge upon a surge where no one of my age or medical condition can drive or walk down the street without someone shaking their head in pity.

Excuuuuuuuuse me?

But here’s the good news.  Again.  I wasn’t sick.  Or dead.  Yet.

But nor was I as smart as I thought I was.  Perhaps I was no longer smart AT ALL.  And NEVER WAS.

What I can say I’ve always been is determined and relentless.  Meaning in a new burst of energy, I was now checking the county and hospital websites at least five times a day (Note: Okay, maybe six or eight),  I was even getting more positive thinking.  I KNEW I’d get that little sucker of an appointment soon.  It was just a matter of perseverance.  Hell, I’d eked out a Hollywood writing career by mostly not giving up.  This would be a piece of cake compared to that.

MOVE

Or so I told myself.

Which is why this week I almost lost it.  After checking the online site that very morning I drove (Note: Finally!) to a medical appointment with my urologist (Note: Over share, I know) and while I was in the exam room waiting for my doctor,  I got a text from a close friend  saying she had LITERALLY JUST REGISTERED for a shot at THIS PLACE and to DO IT NOW!

Me, all week

Well, I had already given my sample, so I figured, oh, who cares, if a nurse comes in wanting something else they’ll understand.   I start typing on my phone but you know about Internet signals in medical buildings, right?

 But why had I just received my friend’s text and now couldn’t….

Oh, screw this sideways and backwards.  And this time I mean it.

I put my phone away, swearing I’d now NEVER get the vaccine, out of spite.

Of course, that didn’t happen because as soon as you give up on something a door opens (Note: Especially when you don’t care anymore.  I should have remembered this from all the bad relationships I had in my twenties). This weekend my sister texted me that a guy posted on Twitter that CSUN (California State University at Northridge) had just opened a number of appointments.

I type in my zip code.  Nothing.  Then I thought to type in the Northridge zip code.  Something.

Well hello Chair, choose your date and time!!  Pfizer or Moderna?

Cut to me singing Age of Aquarius

All this is to say, it’s not you.  It’s THEM.  And no, it shouldn’t have to be this hard.

Until then my best advice is this:

Fight every battle like you’re Cicely Tyson in the sixties and seventies.

She was a goddess.  I had to.

RIP MS. TYSON (1924-2021)

Cast of Hamilton – “My Shot”