Hollywood is like high school with money.
It’s a funny old expression that at this point seems a little too easy, if not reductive.
Sure, there are a lot of mean girls and guys in the entertainment industry that like to punch their power and wealth right between the eyes of all those they deem below them. That is to say, the rest of us.
And these types don’t necessarily all live in Hollywood.
Hollywood is more of a metaphorical placeholder really, a state of mind that is applicable to any person doing well in film, TV, music and emerging /social media.
And the bromide is that those at the top enjoy pleasuring themselves by showing off their successes…and in turn denying others opportunities or access to anything or anyone that might help them to also make something of themselves.
Like cliquey high school kids at the top of the pack, this group takes great pride at having “made it” and have much invested in forcing those desiring the same to pay their dues and maybe even grovel before granting them any sort of seat at the table.
But hey, it’s 2024. That’s a dated cliché these days, right?
I mean, you all saw the Oscars.
Can any group of people rocking out uninhibitedly on international TV to Barbie’s “I’m Just Ken,” all aglow in pink lights, be as petty and mean as this expression paints them?
Well……perhaps.
This week there were multiple Hollywood news reports that political comic Bill Maher – he in his 22nd year of HBO’s very long-running Real Time with Bill Maher – fired his CAA agents after 20 plus years.
Of course, this is not unheard of. Lots of people in Hollywood “part ways” with their reps, and at least half the time both parties have contributed to the fissure.
But what made this time unusual, and brought back the Hollywood/high school analogy, was this exclusive headline that announced it in the Hollywood Reporter.
Yes, as the story goes, Maher was furious (Note: Hollywood speak for throwing a hissy fit) that he was not invited to top CAA agent Bryan Lourd’s huge annual, star-studded private Oscar party at Lourd’s home on Saturday night.
This party, as Stefon would say, usually has everything. Well, everything at least as far as our fictional version of Hollywood is concerned.
That would be top stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts and Margot Robbie, important producers like Jason Blum and Brian Grazer, many of the top studio heads (Bob Iger, Brian Robbins, Pam Abdy), longtime industry power brokers like Barry Diller and, this year only, even U.S. vice-president Kamala Harris.
In other words, it’s not only a place to get a Grade A+ piece of fish, brisket or vegetarian substitute, but a party to be seen at, make deals at, or generally bask in the afterglow of success among your peers at.
Imagine NOT being invited to the PARTY??????????
And just when you begin to think the business of show is so much more than the pettiness of partying or the tantrums of temper and terminations on a fleeting and ever-changing phantom boat of Hollywood A-listers.
To be fair (Note: Though on this subject, why bother?) it could be Maher had other reasons that contributed to firing his agency after more than two decades.
Though I doubt it.
It’s also possible that his agency was cutting back on guests this year (Note: Highly unlikely) or didn’t consider him attendance-worthy because his major film credits are D.C. Cab (1983), Ratboy (1986) and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1988) (Note: The latter of which he co-starred with Shannon Tweed).
Still, highly unlikely.
Because as someone who has worked in and around the biz for the last forty plus years, all I could think of when I read this exclusive Hollywood Reporter news item was:
Sounds right.
That’s because Maher has spent the last few years on his show whining about the world, especially young people, being too “woke,” which always felt like code for, Why can’t I still make the misogynistic jokes I always have and how come so many less people are laughing?
Not to mention him giving voice to numerous conspiracy theorists on Real Time or going on Joe Rogan’s podcast and agreeing that Joe Biden is, indeed, mentally compromised and not a very good president.
If you’re CAA that’s not the kind of client you want at your Oscar party, hobnobbing with the likes of Kamala Harris. So what if he’s a longtime client who has made us millions in commissions – he has nothing to do with the Oscars or movies and he’ll get over it!
Think of it as the pre-hissy fit that happened right before the newsworthy one.
Ironically, on Friday night’s Real Time, Maher spent part of his concluding New Rules segment chastising the audience on “whining about the small stuff in life.”
So you would think after decades of telling us and the rest of the world off, he would know how Hollywood works.
At any moment you (Note: Yes, YOU!) can be cut from the guest list and disinvited to the party.
It’s the same as it ever was.
Talking Heads – “Once in a Lifetime”
notes from a chair 