I’ve always had a thing for Dexter. 

It’s not because I like stories about serial killers, who as it turns out are rarer in real life than a kind word  from Trump chief of staff Stephen Miller. 

But we’ll get to him later.

See, Dexter is a guy who only kills other killers.  Or abusers.  People considered by normal society to be the “worst of the worst.”

Needless to say, the society we live in now is anything but normal. 

So, when you think of it, what better time for him to come back?  He’s a welcome antidote, nee solution, to some of the worst situations and people in the news.

If only he and say, Law and Order SVU’s Olivia Benson were real.  Imagine all the problems they could solve. 

Not to mention, Dexter always cleans up after himself.

Meticulously.

This week the fourth iteration in the Dexter universe, Dexter: Resurrection, dropped on Paramount+.  It’s highly watchable and Michael C. Hall hasn’t lost any of the charismatic creepiness that put the character  in the pantheon of iconic TV anti-heroes.

If bad people lurk among us, and they do, a random good person who crosses Dexter’s path can pretty much count on him to do the right thing and protect or save them from evil.  It doesn’t always work for those who get too close to him because, well, it’s not safe to hang out with a serial killer, or most especially have him as a close friend or family member. 

But for most of the rest of us, he’s an ironic guardian angel.  A cheeky just desert for, well, one can only imagine.

I haven’t caught up with the new Superman movie yet but by most accounts it’s pretty great and David Corenswet, in the titular role, understands that you don’t have to be perfect to be a hero.  Yes, you need to be handsome and jacked, but you can also be goofy, funny, nerd charming and even… half-Jewish!

The latter might mean nothing to you but it would have done wonders for me in my childhood.

And beyond.

And yes, you’re reading this right.  Superman and Dexter both have something in common.  When push comes to shove their actions are modern-day heroic.  They just go about it differently. But by any rational definition the only people they kill and capture are the obvious and proven bad guys and gals.  No discrimination by skin color, wealth, age, social status or connections.

If only we had them just outside of L.A. this week when a California farm worker died from injuries in a massive, masked ICE raid on two farms where more than 300 people were arrested, a number of them in this country legally, and at least 10 of them children. 

Or in my neighborhood on the fourth of July where three long-time employees of the Santa Palm Car Wash were taken away by a bunch of unidentified goons who waited until the Palm’s manager was on a bathroom break to strike. 

This being West Hollywood, there were, of course, a few X-rated bon mots uttered by one observer, despite the guns and bogeyman stocking caps.  Click on the link and scroll down to hear them.

And thanks to the BBB just passed in Congress, ICE will be receiving in the neighborhood of $100 BILLION in the next five years, making it by far the biggest and most well-financed law enforcement agency in the history of the United States, far outstripping the FBI and the DEA.

Which means that every big melting pot American city could use the services of not only Dexter and Superman, but every member of the Marvel Universe, along with Hell Boy and The Incredibles for the really offbeat cases. (Note:  We in the Hollywood Hills claim Edna “E” Mode).

And let’s not even get started with Alligator Alcatraz in the Florida Everglades, where POTUS gleefully imagined escaping prisoners swimming from side to side to avoid crocodiles.  But why wouldn’t they try to Get Out!  Those inmates, who are read no rights and given no hearings, are shoved 40 a piece into a rodent-infested cage with three non-private toilets and occasional worm-filled food.

And American Buyers beware!  Variations of those concentration camp-ish-like “detainment centers” will be available in a town near you within the next year or so, thanks to the BBB.

Ironically, this entire Gestapo-like immigration policy is the brainchild of none other than the aforementioned Stephen Miller, a native of Los Angeles (Note: Liberal Santa Monica to be exact) and fellow Jew who grandparents migrated to America from Europe to escape the Holocaust.

Mr. Miller is a lifelong provocateur, whose failed campaign for student government at Santa Monica High School featured an infamous vitriolic rant where he proclaimed, in a moment of thinly-veiled race-baiting as a young teenager, that he absolutely refuses to pick up his trash at school because “we have plenty of janitors to do it for us!’

His anger at the Latino population, which accounted for about 35% of his high school (Note: Not including the janitors) is well-known and documented.  But don’t take my word for it.  You can google him or read this article in the L.A. Times last week.

One tidbit quotes a derisive letter 16-year-old Stevie wrote to his school newspaper about them, blithely noting, “there are usually very few, if any Hispanic students in my honors classes,” and later profusely complaining about the absurdity of school announcements being made in both English and Spanish to accommodate recent immigrants. 

There is also a particularly disturbing story from one of his best friends from middle school, who specifically recalled Mr. Miller called him up right before they started high school, out of the blue, to curtly tell him he could no longer be friends with him because of his acne, lack of confidence and Latino heritage. 

“It was pretty cruel, even for a teenager,” the former friend remembered some 25 years later to the reporter in what would be the understatement of the month if this were any other administration or any other year.

If only there was “someone” heroic enough to put an end to his present day cruelties.

So to speak.

Bonnie Tyler – Holding Out For a Hero