Did I Almost Forget about the Oscars?

I’ve been excited for the announcement of the Oscar nominations every year for more than half a century. I’m not sure exactly when and why it started but my earliest memory is being a really, really happy little boy when I heard Mary Poppins got a ton of nominations AND several months later literally jumping up and down screaming when Julie Andrews walked up to the stage to accept the trophy as best actress.

Thinking about it now I wonder:

How did they not know I was gay?

Well okay, that’s not the only thought I have in my head.

I am also recalling years when I rehearsed my own Oscar speech (in anticipation of a win even though I had yet to ever work on a movie); others when I was a reporter and actually had to get up at 5 in the morning to cover the damn thing live at the Academy (Note: Be careful what you wish for); and still others where I voluntarily woke up at 5 in the morning at home to watch it on TV and not miss a moment of elation or outrage.

And I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit that I was still doing that last one as a recently as, well, ahem, not that long ago.

Why?

I don’t know. Why do you care about the Super Bowl or the World Series; the NBA Playoffs, Wimbledon or Monday Night Football; Paris Fashion Week, the Cannes Film Festival, the Grammys or the winner of Eurovision?

Maybe you don’t or maybe you do but in life it’s nice to look forward to something.

Well, that ended this year. It’s not that I wasn’t tracking potential nominees but on the twice-postponed Oscar nomination announcement day I woke up, did my morning routine (Note: Use your imagination), hung out and, right before leaving the house at 11 suddenly thought, ‘oh right, the Oscars. I better…check?’

It was kind of surreal.

Perhaps it’s age or the movies, but I don’t think so. Maybe it’s the fact that parts of L.A. were on fire several weeks ago hastening the delay (Note: During which I did have to evacuate my house) so I got that and a lot of dates confused. Not likely.

Mostly it was because I was keeping my mind on a bunch of other announcements that didn’t involve a svelte golden statuette but an engorged orange (and profoundly non-statuesque) one.

But these announcements were actually orders for actions that were not democratically voted on. Things like:

Releasing more than 1500 violent criminals from jail who severely beat up cops and broke into and entered the Capitol building, where they hunted down members of Congress (Note: And occasionally stopped to smear feces on the walls and destroy offices) all in order to subvert the peaceful transfer of power to a new president they didn’t vote for four years ago.
Revoking President Lyndon B. Johnson’s 1965 order that guaranteed people of color and women equal opportunity to be hired, trained and employed by any agency in the federal government or any company or person who has a contract with said government, and
A termination to birthright U.S. citizenship even though it is literally written into the 14^th amendment to the U.S. Constitution that anyone born in the U.S. IS a citizen of the U.S.

For further elucidation and analysis of said announcements and their implications you can also check out these articles in Axios and the NY Times. Or simply use the google with the key words: recent executive orders for the source of your choice.

As for the Oscar nominations, anyone who follows these things or longs for a little competitive glamour or excellence in their lives courtesy of the movies, or is simply slightly film obsessed, has their favorites and their inexcusables. For me, it’s Timothée Chalamet’s performance in A Complete Unknown because I’m not sure how anyone can sound and act exactly like Bob Dylan, pretend they’re a young guy in the sixties, croon a tune to a pretend Woody Guthrie and go on to sing with and make love to a fake Joan Baez without making it a complete parody. (Note: Also because his best actor Oscar for Call Me By Your Name got stolen by Gary Oldman seven years ago. And no, I don’t forget).

Was this the most important cinematic moment of the year? Certainly not. But for me it was the most impressive and, anyway, as we all should know by now, that’s not what the Oscars are all about.

Nor should it be.

Also… sorry Timmy but better luck next time

The importance monicker is usually most omni-present in the best picture category, which pretty consistently reserves slots for movies that say something about social issues (Note: Forgetting the fact that ALL movies are social comments on our world), as well as advance the best of technology, execution or contemporary messages to be had from movies during that year.

Personally, I think expanding the best picture category from a limit of five nominations to these days as many as TEN nominations (Note: It works through a weighted scale the Academy concocted that is too cumbersome to explain in anything less than a term paper) is somewhat equivalent to being awarded a yearly participation award in a small, local day camp.

“And you get an Oscar… and you… and you!”

Okay, perhaps that’s a bit much but AMPAS voting to expand the list of possible nominees in 2009 seemed more like a marketing tool for studios due to lagging box-office than anything else.

But in an age where our new 78-year-old POTUS just announced that Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone and Jon Voight are to serve as his special ambassadors to Hollywood (Note: News to them, since it was relayed only in a tweet, but fitting since they all reached stardom in those regrettable, greed is good eighties), it’s a welcome relief.

See, unlike MAGA voters the vast majority of all 10 best picture nominees this year focused on stories about diversity, equity and inclusion in regards to immigration, race, trans/LGBT representation, ageism, economic inequality and/or religious persecution. And if you look back in history that tends to happen when political leaders spend their time taking away rights or lashing out at specific communities for power, or profit or simply because they can.

As I tell my students, movies are not life but, on the whole, they tend to absolutely reflect real life and the issues we, as a society are concerned about in that moment.

This is why this year I am thrilled to have as many as TEN, if not more, best picture nominees vying for the Oscar. I might be selling out my long-held views for political gain, but hey, at least it’s not to stay in office.

As for the list of this year’s films, they are: Anora, The Brutalist, A Complete Unknown, Conclave, Dune: Part Two, Emilia Perez, I’m Still Here, Nickel Boys, The Substance, and Wicked.

I’d be happy with any of them winning. And not only because Gibson, Stallone, Voight had absolutely nothing to do with any of them, and they address rights and issues they and the guy they will be ambassador-ing for want to roll back and, preferably, erase.

Though, that helps.

A lot.

Jonathan Bailey – “Dancing Through Life” (from Wicked)

03.17.24

by notesfromachair

You are SO not invited to my Oscar party

Hollywood is like high school with money.

It’s a funny old expression that at this point seems a little too easy, if not reductive.

Sure, there are a lot of mean girls and guys in the entertainment industry that like to punch their power and wealth right between the eyes of all those they deem below them. That is to say, the rest of us.

And these types don’t necessarily all live in Hollywood.

Hollywood is more of a metaphorical placeholder really, a state of mind that is applicable to any person doing well in film, TV, music and emerging /social media.

And the bromide is that those at the top enjoy pleasuring themselves by showing off their successes…and in turn denying others opportunities or access to anything or anyone that might help them to also make something of themselves.

Like cliquey high school kids at the top of the pack, this group takes great pride at having “made it” and have much invested in forcing those desiring the same to pay their dues and maybe even grovel before granting them any sort of seat at the table.

But hey, it’s 2024. That’s a dated cliché these days, right?

I mean, you all saw the Oscars.

Can any group of people rocking out uninhibitedly on international TV to Barbie’s “I’m Just Ken,” all aglow in pink lights, be as petty and mean as this expression paints them?

Well……perhaps.

This week there were multiple Hollywood news reports that political comic Bill Maher – he in his 22nd year of HBO’s very long-running Real Time with Bill Maher – fired his CAA agents after 20 plus years.

Of course, this is not unheard of. Lots of people in Hollywood “part ways” with their reps, and at least half the time both parties have contributed to the fissure.

But what made this time unusual, and brought back the Hollywood/high school analogy, was this exclusive headline that announced it in the Hollywood Reporter.

Yes, as the story goes, Maher was furious (Note: Hollywood speak for throwing a hissy fit) that he was not invited to top CAA agent Bryan Lourd’s huge annual, star-studded private Oscar party at Lourd’s home on Saturday night.

This party, as Stefon would say, usually has everything. Well, everything at least as far as our fictional version of Hollywood is concerned.

That would be top stars such as Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts and Margot Robbie, important producers like Jason Blum and Brian Grazer, many of the top studio heads (Bob Iger, Brian Robbins, Pam Abdy), longtime industry power brokers like Barry Diller and, this year only, even U.S. vice-president Kamala Harris.

In other words, it’s not only a place to get a Grade A+ piece of fish, brisket or vegetarian substitute, but a party to be seen at, make deals at, or generally bask in the afterglow of success among your peers at.

Imagine NOT being invited to the PARTY??????????

And just when you begin to think the business of show is so much more than the pettiness of partying or the tantrums of temper and terminations on a fleeting and ever-changing phantom boat of Hollywood A-listers.

To be fair (Note: Though on this subject, why bother?) it could be Maher had other reasons that contributed to firing his agency after more than two decades.

Though I doubt it.

It’s also possible that his agency was cutting back on guests this year (Note: Highly unlikely) or didn’t consider him attendance-worthy because his major film credits are D.C. Cab (1983), Ratboy (1986) and Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death (1988) (Note: The latter of which he co-starred with Shannon Tweed).

Still, highly unlikely.

Because as someone who has worked in and around the biz for the last forty plus years, all I could think of when I read this exclusive Hollywood Reporter news item was:

Sounds right.

That’s because Maher has spent the last few years on his show whining about the world, especially young people, being too “woke,” which always felt like code for, Why can’t I still make the misogynistic jokes I always have and how come so many less people are laughing?

Not to mention him giving voice to numerous conspiracy theorists on Real Time or going on Joe Rogan’s podcast and agreeing that Joe Biden is, indeed, mentally compromised and not a very good president.

If you’re CAA that’s not the kind of client you want at your Oscar party, hobnobbing with the likes of Kamala Harris. So what if he’s a longtime client who has made us millions in commissions – he has nothing to do with the Oscars or movies and he’ll get over it!

Think of it as the pre-hissy fit that happened right before the newsworthy one.

Ironically, on Friday night’s Real Time, Maher spent part of his concluding New Rules segment chastising the audience on “whining about the small stuff in life.”

So you would think after decades of telling us and the rest of the world off, he would know how Hollywood works.

At any moment you (Note: Yes, YOU!) can be cut from the guest list and disinvited to the party.

It’s the same as it ever was.

Talking Heads – “Once in a Lifetime”

notes from a chair

Category Archives: The Biz of Show

Did I Almost Forget about the Oscars?

You are SO not invited to my Oscar party