Sometimes It Takes a Long, Long Time

This week the Internet broke over an hour of television that traced the relationship of two middle-aged gay men during a fictional apocalyptic pandemic. 

It was the third episode of the gargantuan new hit HBO series The Last Of Us, which is based on what is acknowledged to be one of the best videogames ever made.

As a middle-aged gay guy who has never been into videogames and who long ago gave up being mainstream, this was quite a shock.

OK, I did dabble with this Queen.

Nevertheless, it was a pleasant one, since it vaulted one of my favorite records of all time, Linda Ronstadt’s 1970 hit, Long, Long Time, to the top of the 2023 streaming charts, where it continues to stay. 

The teenage me, who longed for love in exactly the way Linda did in that song, could never have imagined our anthem could sit, sit, sit there for this long, long, long of a time.

Yes, Linda, Yes!

The same shock might be said for those of Asian descent who have watched the film Everything Everywhere All At Once emerge at the top of the pack of award contenders for film of the year.

Its latest achievement was to lead the recently announced Oscar nominations by picking up 11 nods.  That includes a first time ever best actress chance for an Asian identifying woman, its star, Michelle Yeoh.  (Note: Okay, back in 1936 the biracial Merle Oberon was nominated in that category.  But she never came out as part Asian nor was it EVER discussed). 

Icon business

Sure, a non-English language film like Parasite shockingly won best picture in 2019 but it wasn’t a Hollywood made film about an American family.  It also wasn’t the kind of mainstream American box-office hit using newer American cultural storytelling techniques inspired by the younger skewing gaming industry.

One can only imagine how encouraging EEAAO is for aspiring Asian artists coming of age right now in post insurrection America.  Not to mention any young person who longs to see film or TV hits, both commercial and artistic, that offer up stories in more varied and less traditional ways that they can relate to.

I did not have “rocks with googly eyes making me cry” on my Bingo card

As a consumer and writer barely clinging to middle age, I will admit it took me a bit to get on both The Last of Us and EEAAO bandwagons.

I watched the first episode of the HBO series when it debuted a few weeks ago and was mixed.  The acting was good but it was so frenetic and with so many characters and situations that were vaguely defined that I ultimately decided I didn’t care much.  I raised this with a group of college seniors who I instruct in TV writing and they assured me everything would become clear soon and to stick with it. 

As most adults do, I promised to maybe take a look again with very little intention to do so.

Just being real

Until the explosion of week three when middle-aged gay, gay, gay romance became a TV thing and a mainstream videogame story instantly became more inclusive by way of Linda Ronstadt.

I’m listening…

The same thing happened with EEAAO, a movie I admired for its audaciousness but lost me in the second act and didn’t do much for me emotionally when I saw it the first time.

But with all the praise and Oscar nominations (Note: Awards that I still pretend are very little indication of anything by ignoring my lifelong obsession with them), converged with the fact that I was now facing TWO thesis TV and Film writing classes to whom the film’s narrative and execution HEAVILY spoke to, even ever intractable me had to take another look.

And am I glad that I did.

Letting myself get into it!

Not only did it teach me that, okay, I can occasionally be wrong about a few things, but that there are infinite ways to tell a story. 

And just because your limited mind isn’t used to them that is no reason to shut the barn door and sit in the slop with the rest of the close-minded pigs in your sty.

(Note: Pig sty and barn door analogies?  Really?)

Linda would approve!

It also once again taught me something else.

Representation Matters.

These days that term seems to come across as a political diatribe.  A must have, a demand, or at least an incessant want of too many of the “woke.”  Or woke mob.  Or… well… choose your adjective and noun depending on who is speaking.

But all it really means is a longing to be seen and heard.   A path to get listened to and a means to include oneself or one’s group in the world that might also open up the world’s hive mind.

Did I mention how good Linda is???

It’s a desire, ironically, to be acknowledged as a part of the pack.

Now this doesn’t stop you from still being an outsider, or prevent you from striving to stand out and lead that world pack in a different direction.  Just as it won’t prevent you from continuing to be stubbornly indifferent, ahem, to anyone unlike you and yours.

But in order to ensure the personal freedom to live our lives the way we see fit (Note: As long as we are not causing others physical harm), those in the pluralities and underrepresented need to be visible and seen in order to get included.

We see you!

One of the easiest ways to do this is in your choices, and tolerance, for films, television or anything else that might diverge from what you consider on first view to be your own very, very VERY good taste.

This goes especially for those barely clinging to middle-age.

Linda Ronstadt – “Long Long Time”

Living in an ADD World

Do you find your mind shifting from topic to topic these days?  Do you interrupt people far too often? Perhaps you’re jittery, nervous, impulsive, argumentative or – all of the above?

A qualified medical professional or experienced lay person could quickly diagnosis you with A.D.H.D. – Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder – a condition that affects at least 8 million adults in the U.S. and approximately double that or more in children.

I know that because I am one of those adults and, though undiagnosed at the time, was one of those children.

I told you I was busy!

Relax, it’s not such a terrible condition. Medication can change your life. Simple organizational exercises and psychological coping mechanisms allow you to be highly functional and quite effective at any task at hand.   And even untreated, the condition can come with the ability to hyperfocus – which in my case meant the inordinately handy superpower of waiting until the last minute to complete absolutely everything (Note: And humblebrag, often to great results) for the entire first half of my life.

Still, if you’re just discovering all this in 2018, I’m sorry to say the overwhelming chances are YOU DO NOT HAVE ADHD.  

C’mon chairy!

Much as I’d like to welcome you into the club, I can’t.

Because what I believe, more than anything else, is that:

You simply have…HAD IT.

I can’t with all this, and neither can you. Who can? No one – not and remain fully functional and optimally effective.

YES TIM

And don’t tell me to turn off the news. What if this is 1936 Germany? (Note: If???). Would it be prudent to turn off the news? I just hate people whose diagnosis is to turn off the news. So don’t be one of those people.

Or, as Big Edie lectured to Little Edie in the brilliant musical Grey Gardens:

When are you gonna learn, Edie? You ‘re in this world, you know. You’re not out of this world.

Musical theatre aside, see if anything about this is familiar:

I started one morning this week walking my dog and reading, on my phone, a Business Insider story someone posted on the 90 Best picture Oscar movies ranked by top critics. Yeah, I was hoping to find Forrest Gump at #90 too but it was #84, which wasn’t too disappointing.

But then you have to live with things like All Quiet On The Western Front at #4 and Lost Weekend at #3? Have you ever suffered through either of them? Good, because before you do you’ll also want to know The French Connection is #10 while Midnight Cowboy is #54 and The Sound of Music is #64.

Nope. Don’t ask. NOT GOING THERE.

So f-ck this list.

Or any list because then I’m reading the actual paper (Note: Yeah, I do that sometimes) and see that Trump is saying his approval numbers are up to 50% in one poll and that they are higher than Pres. Obama’s at the time. And they’re particularly up among African Americans, which he attributes to Kanye West’s big fat virtual bear hug this week.

Well, it turns out Trump’s sort of right, but partly because it’s the Rasmussen poll, which always leans far right, but primarily because he has not taken an average of all polls across the board – which have him trailing Obama. Still, it’s in the ballpark and now I’ve spent too much time aggravating myself. But, well, at least I’m informed. Right?

Oh AMEN… on loop… forever #oruntil2020

Which leads me to seek some entertainment and I watch the work of two of my former students on DVR who write for the new Zack Braff sitcom Alex, Inc., which turns out to be a perfectly charming diversion from anything in my life. Except that it’s on ABC and one of the episodes I watch directly follows the dreaded, phony star of the people herself, Roseanne – a show and person I have vociferously boycotted because in 2018 I know there is nothing real or funny about her except her uncanny ability to get attention for herself under the guise of some fictional high ground (Note: Who does that sound like?).

Nevertheless, because I want to be loyal to my students I had set the DVR a few minutes early for Alex, Inc. so as not to miss a second of their show and instead am now stuck with the sickening spectacle of the new/old Roseanne sitting at her kitchen table, pretending she is a member of the white working class. Who, it seems, in real life, actually voted in the majority for Hillary Clinton and NOT for Trump. Yeah, that’s right.  Read this and think #NotFakeNews:

We’re talking nonfiction here people

At which point I later I see on Twitter that Stormy Daniels – my new hero because who doesn’t like a pissed off porn star with a real sense of humor who has an attorney smarter and way better looking than the president – dogging Roseanne. Which, okay, I cop to LOVING but not when I realize it’s only because Roseanne first dogged Stormy by categorizing her this way in a far larger fonted tweet:

https://twitter.com/therealroseanne/status/992301702660304897?tfw_creator=dmoyeweirdnews&tfw_site=HuffPostWeird&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.huffingtonpost.com%2Fentry%2Froseanne-barr-stormy-daniels-twitter-war_us_5aec7ea2e4b041fd2d263303

To which Stormy responds:

To which I tweet back to both of them, and to Patricia Arquette, who was also somehow in the argument to begin with, don’t ask me to explain how:

And you think I should turn off the news? Or take my meds? #NotAChance.

delicious

Because then I would’ve missed Trump lying to a misguided (by him) crowd in Cleveland about bringing back jobs en masse to the Midwest that will never return, which allowed me to then laugh totally without guilt at Seth Meyers that night when Kathy Griffin referred to his First Sons as Date Rape and Eddie Munster.

Sure, I know it’s not right but I’m not perfect and when you’re desperate enough you will laugh at and/or vote for almost anything – as that rally in Cleveland so aptly demonstrated.

Still, this leaves me totally disarmed when Friday night I catch up with David Letterman’s new Netflix show, My Next Guest, where he interviewed Tina Fey and she actually apologizes for the last line in her brilliant SNL sheetcaking segment from last year that was in response the alt-right/Nazi /White Supremacist protestors of mostly young men marching in Charlottesville, VA where an innocent young woman was murdered (and many others injured) when one of their brood decided to drive a sports car into the crowd.

No regrets Tina

That was the line where Tina urged us NOT to show up to protest the Nazi brood there or in any other city but instead do precisely what these “chinless turds” don’t want us to – act like it’s the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads, don’t show up.

But because of all the blowback she got at the implication of silence as a strategy to resist Nazis she said she wishes she had a time machine to go back and change that line to something more like: fight them in every way except the way that they want.

Which then led me to ponder – do I now tweet Tina and tell her that despite the social media kerfuffle she needn’t rethink one line of her brilliant piece because these days there is no politically correct way to #Resist that will please everyone?

The fact that Tina wrote this line (from Mean Girls) is not lost on me

And thank God, or whoever you believe Her to be, for that because the next great moment of Resistance in my mind is scheduled for this summer in England. Trump is planning a state visit there July 15 and a crowd of 1000 drag queens (and growing) has already signed up to meet him at the airport in a massive demonstration. There is even a Facebook page for the event that states: Due to the appalling way the Trump administration has regarded the rights and welfare of LGBTQI communities of the US, the idea of a Trump visit to the UK is unacceptable.

CALL BACK TO RU 

Still even better is this further explanation by one of the organizers, Cheddar Gorgeous, stating that the strategy is really to be:

In solidarity with many other groups who feel marginalized along lines of race, class and gender.

Which finally leads me to accept this one simple fact –

Any world where someone named Cheddar Gorgeous can lead a massive anti-Trump rally in a country with one of the largest economies in the world (UK is #6, right behind….California…HQ of the #Resistance – ok, not a country but a state…of mind) — is not one where you to turn off the news – or to anything else – any time soon.

Meds or no meds.

Diana Ross – “I’m Coming Out”