I had a birthday last week and am already behind on writing thank you notes to people who took me to dinner, bought me gifts or simply remembered.
It’s never a chore to say it in person, at the moment, so that’s usually my go to. But these days, more than ever, I think people also appreciate getting a note.
I guess a little glitter wouldn’t hurt
Sure, a text is okay. And an email is adequate. But a hand-written note in an ever-growing, impersonal digital world? Who does that anymore?
Not enough of us.
And by handwritten note I don’t mean giving A.I. the assignment of figuring it out for you.
What did I do Chairy??
Better not to send it along at all.
It’s the impolite social equivalent of regifting.
Something about it WILL seem off to the reader even though you are sure it won’t. They might not know you were helped along by something unhuman but they are likely to think your response is something less than human (Note: Aka real).
It just…. won’t smell right
Which robs the gratitude of any true meaning. Unless what you meant by it was to fulfill a social obligation that would otherwise have you come off as cold and unappreciative.
Or in old-fashioned parlance, raised by wolves.
Speaking of which, can you believe we live in a world where the president of the United States calls a female reporter Piggy out loud?
What’s that supposed to mean?
Perhaps you can.
What about admonishing her on camera with, Quiet, Piggy,, receiving no on-the-spot blowback from fellow journalists, and having the White House press secretary then publicly laud said POTUS for his frankness and openness?
Perhaps we should skip the thank yous and go straight to the I’m sorry(s).
As if
In any event, it’s THANKSgiving time for MOST of us.
And I selfishly prefer the former.
Because, at the end of the day, any reason for saying thank you should give any one of us who says it a warm and fuzzy feeling.
Since the very fact of doing it means that someone (Note: Or more than one) did something NICE for YOU.
It doesn’t have to be BIG.
Or BIGLY.
Or HUUUUGE.
Just nice.
it’s the least you can do
Imagine that when you’re eating your turkey.
Or tofurkey.
Or simply taking it upon yourself to treat another person kindly for no reason at all other than common decency. And with no expectation of receiving anything in return.
Except maybe this sash
Not even a thank you note.
It will make receiving one all the more warm and fuzzy. An even more convincing confirmation that doing an act of kindness for someone else, one that they might even give you thanks for, doesn’t make you a chump.
Despite what you are seeing from the top. On a weekly, and often daily, basis.
Well, I guess my magic eight ball failed me. Which means I’m out of the political prognosticating business.
My last post predicted, with great assurance, that Kamala Harris would be elected president. A historic achievement for so many reasons but mostly for the sake of the future of the country and the world.
Oh god, I’m gonna be sick
Of course, personally, I’m not that noble.
The truth is I abhor racists, sexual predators and people who brazenly lie, break the law and prey on the trusting nature of those less cynical than I am.
Which means pretty much everybody.
Also, as a Scorpio, another of my truths is I have a weakness for revenge. I’m not proud of it and have to work to keep it in check. But somehow I convinced myself that shaming the biggest bully in the U.S. as a loser in the public square would be justice.
Why can’t I just get what I want??
Well, nothing good happens when you let the righteous anger of revenge get the best of you.
How do I know that? Witness the results of the 2024 presidential election. Seventy-four million Americans took their own palpable rage out on the other 70 million of us who were trying to take the high road for the good of their country even though many of us were quite rageful and revengeful deep down. In doing so, they elevated a bully to the highest office in the land, and perhaps the world, hoping he’d…
Make their world better?
Nope
Protect them?
another no
Beat up (Note: Or worse) the people they don’t like, disagree with or who look different than they do?
Get them some more money?
All of the above and quite a lot more?
Not at all.
I have ZERO idea.
Here’s what I do know.
As a college professor, advisor and mentor with hundreds of current and former students in my life, I heard stories from A LOT of traumatized young people this week.
Women in their twenties who were quickly obtaining birth control because they feared the next administration would outlaw their method, track their menstrual cycles and…much worse.
Sad students I had taught or am currently teaching who have non-white immigrant parents and are terrified for themselves and their families despite the fact they were born here.
It’s this.. but not funny at all
Gay, lesbian and non-binary students so depressed they couldn’t speak about their present, much less their futures, even in a so-called safe space.
Trans students living openly wondering why they are so hated and others planning to transition who are now delaying becoming their true selves for fear of practical, and very public, retribution.
Very, very white students dreading Thanksgiving dinner with their gloating, MAGA relatives.
And across-the-board concerns, despite political beliefs, from all of them, about not only the health of the planet but their careers and economic futures under a president they universally see as a geriatric version of Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker. (Note: Their analogy, not mine).
The dancing is similar but you know Trump doesn’t do stairs
It was hard to know what to say.
Not to mention, heartbreaking.
This is not the world they imagined. It’s certainly not one I every fully acknowledged.
Or had I?
Was this me?
This led me to the only perspective and advice I had to give, that I’ve shared in bits and pieces on social media. It’s not a solution or a practical guide of what to do. I can’t think straight, or even gay enough, to offer much on that score at the moment. But what I do know is:
70 MILLION PEOPLE VOTING FOR SOMETHING IS NOT NOTHING. It is the possibility of SOMETHING.
sigh
As a gay man of a certain age, these days I try to not dwell on key events of the eighties. But like all trauma, and deep disappointments and losses, they are forever engrained in my psyche and have shaped me into what I hope is the decent, and mostly loving, person I am today.
Back then I thought it was all over after Reagan was elected and then re-elected thanks in great part to fear of “the other,” greed and Christian nationalism. In particular the latter (and Reagan) capitalized on a fear and hatred of the LGBTQ+ community, turned their back on the AIDS crisis and literally ignored the deaths of many tens of thousands of American citizens, not to mention eventually millions around the world.
Welcome
A lot of them were my friends and peers and watching the mass indifference of so many of those so-calledcitizens basking in the glow of “Morning in America” made me sick to my stomach and uncontrollably angry. And, eventually, quite hopeless.
In those years I was convinced as a country we were soulless and probably doomed, not to mention completely morally bankrupt, and that nothing good could ever occur again for me, and certainly not US. I never, EVER imagined we’d get to Barack Obama. Not. A. Chance.
Did we ever deserve this?
But now our country has clearly changed again (as it always does), has to some extent been deluded by disinformation, has to some extent chosen racisms/sexism/homophobia and others isms, and has to more than some extent chosen to be guided by fear and delusion vs. reality-based evolution.
So we’re going to have to go through some rocky times, most likely extremely rocky times, before we get to “the promised land.”
For real though
Fortunately, the nature of this country historically – especially in relation to change – is that there are huge swings back and forth as we evolve. It’s never easy and we often metaphorically, and literally, go kicking and screaming, but against all odds we manage to, if not get there, at least progress. Consider, more than a century and a half ago there was a CIVIL WAR. People you knew in the south were shooting at and killing those in the north they disagreed with. There should have been NO WAY for this country, much less any country as young as ours, to survive it.
Will it now happen again and include the Midwest, Southwest and Pacific coast states? As I said, I’m out of the predicting business. If only because I don’t even want to contemplate being trained in the use of a contemporary style musket.
Though, if needed, I could, and will, certainly learn.
Meow
Our CURRENT SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT, Kamala Harris, said in her concession speech – “The light of America’s promise will always be bright – as long as we never give up – and as long as we keep fighting.”
Endings = Beginnings = …Well, that’s up to us.
It’s okay to be sad and depressed and to escape with your vice of choice for a few days. Then it’s time to start again, all of us, as so many before us have done.
Watch out, cuz here I come
And remember, those aged 18-29 voted against the Bully by a clear margin – over 10%.
That’s the beginning of a whole lot of something. A seeable slice of hope in our always uncertain future.