Did you know that Mother’s Day is the third highest card-selling holiday behind Christmas and Valentine’s Day? Somehow that doesn’t seem right given if it weren’t for Mom none of us would be here.
Very this
But who am I to argue with statistics from a trade union named the Greeting Card Association, especially in such a perilous time for unions?
And if you are or ever have been a union member of any kind, please remember this November there are only two choices at the ballot box:
DEMOCRACY
DICTATORHSIP
Cast your votes accordingly.
That’s a yes from mother Oprah
Though living with my Mom was often a dictatorship, albeit a bottom line loving one, I’ll cast my vote for democracy every time.
You get to make those choices and more once you turn 18.
My mother Marion and my stepmom Shelly are no longer with us, though I randomly hear both of their voices in my head at least once a week. If not more.
And no, it’s not only because I’m the gay son.
Still doing it all
It’s because each of them, and mothers in general, are our first measuring stick of the world. They teach us what’s right and what’s wrong and often times, when you’re much older, you realize they were correct a lot more than you thought.
Though not nearly as much as you wished they would have been when you were growing up.
I, for one, will never quite forgive my mother for forcing me into a Nehru suit and medallion necklace when I was 13 years old (Note: Though did she really have to twist my arm all that much?). Yet I have to give her credit for an enduring narcissism that has never allowed me to leave home looking that fashion victim-y again.
Thanks Ma
Yet at this time of year all I can think of is that in random moments I miss her terribly. Ditto Shelly, who was determined to love me from the very beginning. She even forgave the teenage me for drawing double entendre obscenities on the eggs in her refrigerator in the middle of the night just so the entire family would see them first thing in the morning.
I guess I needed a creative outlet and somehow I sense she knew that because it took only about a day for her to encourage me to keep at it. This was something she, and my mom Marion would do for the rest of my life.
There would be no Notes without them
It’s weird what you think of on Mother’s Day.
Especially when you have no need to buy the mandatory card.
PS – I just learned Paul McCartney actually wrote this song for his mother, whose name was Mary. All these years I thought it was a biblical reference! #themoreyouknow
Then I heard about right wing author gadfly/gazillionaire Ann Coulter’s tweet a week ago:
I don't believe Hurricane Harvey is God's punishment for Houston electing a lesbian mayor. But that is more credible than "climate change." https://t.co/K7d7mopY5Q
And all I could think of then was: Take you and your black Lycra cocktail dress down to Rush’s house in coastal Florida and let’s see how adept the two of you really are at navigating shark and ALLIGATOR infested waters, yard sale Barbie. (Note: Thanks, Tina Fey).
God “causes [storms] to happen for punishment, or to water His land and demonstrate His faithful love…What this should be doing for all of us is causing us to remember that it’s God who supplies our life, breath and everything else so that you and I would reach out to Him…So think about that, maybe share that with your kids when they ask why this is happening.
STOP THE MADNESS
I knew there was a reason I didn’t have kids. I’d never be able to explain to them with a straight face that hundreds of people died because the Lord overwatered his flowerbeds. Nor could I ever be able to explain how I managed to get put in jail for wishing painful venereal warts on a mentally imbalanced former child star on Facebook. (Note: Both he and I, since his pronouncement was in a much read and re-circulated Facebook post).
By the way, did you know that hurricanes are named by something called the World Meteorological Organization and that the names are done in alphabetical order but skip the letters q, u, x, y and z? This accounts for the seeming randomness of Harvey and Irma while causing people like myself too many sleepless nights wondering just what the hell is wrong with the names Zelda, Yanni or Ursula. (#TooLiberal?)
OK now I’ve gone off the deep end
When I found myself wondering desperately about hurricane names my husband instantly got the answer for me. He’s quick on these things and it’s one of the thousands of the reasons I married him – he either always has or can always find an answer to any question that I ask. This is no small feat, as you can imagine.
Which is why it troubled me when out of nowhere he eventually blew his stack about the right wing doubter responses to hurricanes and their relation to climate change:
What do they need… the Four Horsemen on horseback?
This is another reason I married him. When he blows his stack it is short and often includes some random biblical reference to their jugulars that I could never think of in a million years B.C.
This is love.
I hate to admit that I am now living in a me against themworld but I am now living in a me against them world. I mean, there is so little attention to facts and logic I often find myself screaming into my pillow or out towards anyone who will listen. And that’s because most of what’s said is all so provocative and vindictive just for vindictiveness’ sake – fueled by dollops of insurgency, emotion and endless disguised attempts/quests to reign in popularity… said the man who has written a weekly blog for the last five years for no other reason than to… Well, let’s not get off topic.
Truth be known, I have never actively tried to advocate for one side. What one finds as one gets older and has had decades of therapy with at least a few insights, is that the only side one can truly advocate for is one’s personal point of view. Take this little nugget from liberal America which (yes – surprise, surprise) really pissed me off.
Say it ain’t so, chairy!!
Recently, Senator Bernie Sanders went on television (Note: Okay, it was Stephen Colbert’s show) to refute thoughts Hillary Clinton had written about her 2016 campaign for both the Democratic nomination for president and as the Democratic nominee for president. Deciding for the umpteenth time not to verbally get into the grimy details of a policy debate, Sen. Sanders instead responded to her words with this dismissive retort:
Look, Secretary Clinton ran against the most unpopular candidate in the history of this country—and she lost, and she was upset about that.
Of course, this begs the question that it was Bernie Sanders that first lost to Hillary Clinton. Which most certainly makes him more of a loser than she is because by logic there is only one candidate more unpopular than the winner of the presidency – and that is the person who lost the presidency to him. The candidate Sen. Sanders managed to LOSE TO at the ballot box.
Just move along now please
I don’t know about you but these days I am indeed loaded for bear – liberal, conservative or anywhere in between. And I don’t even know how to shoot a gun. Well, one with bullets anyway.
notes from a chair 