The New Pope

They named a new Pope this week and he’s from the south side of Chicago..

No, that’s not a set-up for a joke, though it might have been a few weeks ago.  

Couldn’t resist

No one expected an American pope, especially right now.  But the late Pope Francis was savvy and clever and the more you read about the behind-the-scenes machinations over who could be his successor, the harder it is not to think that he understood the world as it is today, where it was likely headed and to see him moving the deck chairs of the Titanic around accordingly. 

My thoughts, not his.  

I don’t know much about the Vatican but I’ve done some reading AND I saw Conclave.  Which makes me just as qualified to give my opinion on this as anyone.  Probably more.  

This sums it up, right?

But what else can only I say about the appointment of Robert Prevost, now known round the world as Pope Leo XIV, that’s relevant. 

…Here’s one thing:  

When you realize you are this razor-thin close in age to the newly anointed Pope it becomes undeniable you have far less time in front of you than behind you.  And it makes you a de facto lay expert.

In other words: Popes are often old men.  Which in turn means….. 

It happened

They say with age comes wisdom but I’m not so sure.  I know lots of people my age and older who are idiots, drowning themselves and those around them in willful ignorance.

I hate willful ignorance because it’s a choice.  To be ill-informed, stupid and moronic for your own personal reasons.  This means that unless you are a hermit who literally sees no one and has zero footprint in the world, your decision to remain consistently baseline idiotic on subjects too numerous to name enables countless imbecilic actions on your part (Note: And on the part of others if you have influence on friends, family or followers)  that have potentially damaging effects on the rest of us.

And sometimes even lethal.

You know the kind of people I’m talking about.  

You know, like this person

Or at least you know, well, ONE of them.  

As a non-practicing Jewish person, and one who was mostly only culturally Jewish at best, I haven’t paid much attention to popes as a whole.  Though, of course, these days, it’s impossible to NOT pay attention to anything this pervasive in the zeitgeist unless you work really, really hard at it.  

And not only don’t I like to be stupid, I’m still superficial enough to not even want to appear stupid.

Affirmations

So when a kid from the Windy City, whose vintage graduation picture reminds me of any number of classmates in my 1970s era yearbook from either high school or college or both (Note: Guess) becomes the spiritual leader of about 1.4 billion people, I can’t help but take notice.  It was like David or Andrew or Dennis or Ricky from my graduating class had suddenly and quite publicly outpaced all of the rest of us who ever aspired to make it and be noticed.

And just know when I say that I went to Queens College at the same time Jerry Seinfeld did.

Anyway, Bob (as his brother and those with whom he went to seminary school call him) came up at a time in the late 1960s and early to mid-seventies that’s quite familiar to me.  I knew this the moment I looked at his photo – the one with sideburns and before scentless hair gel, I mean product.  

Hey Bob

At that point, and in that era, we were not having stupidity at all.  We being the majority of the baby boomers of all ages in the country coming of age.  Sure, we had distractions – some pharmaceutical and others more…carnal? (Note: Okay, maybe not always the latter in some cases) but we really did see peace and love as a first step cure all cure for everything.  Not the only step but the road through which the best outcomes in the world could happen.

All these years later, actually most especially all these years later, I don’t think we were wrong.  

Nor does Bob.  I mean, Leo.  Pope Leo.  (Note: I know, at the very least, He will forgive me).

Cmon this guy seems reasonable

He’s supported immigrants and minorities, condemned the murder of George Floyd, urged people to get vaccines during the COVID pandemic and advocated for policies to care for children and the poor rather than turn our backs on them, especially the way we were doing during the first Trump administration and in the years since.  Don’t believe me?  Click here

Several months ago he even publicly corrected US Vice President J.D. Vance when Vance proclaimed there was an order of “caring” in Catholic dogma and that the list began with “yourself” and “your family” before all others.  To that, the then Cardinal Prevost, and now Pope Leo XIV, proclaimed on Twitter: 

JD Vance is wrong: Jesus doesn’t ask us to rank our love for others  

Preach Bobby

And alongside it he posted a link to an opinion piece in the National Catholic Reporter, a liberal leaning publication, backing up that view with religious doctrine. 

Translation from another baby boomer this razor thin close in age to him:  

Oh, it’s on.  

Go off Pontiff!

Because as he and I and so many of our contemporaries in school learned in our formatives years directly from Dr. Martin Luther King: 

The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.”

Especially when we find ourselves promoted into a position of power to help make that happen.

The Byrds – “Turn! Turn! Turn!”

Wolfs in Sheep’s Clothing

This week I watched attempts by both J.D. Vance and George Clooney to charm their way through inferior material and ultimately both failed miserably. 

The Chair comin’ in hot!

Which only goes to show that whether it’s faux Republican schtick or tired Democratic schtick some of us viewers can still spot a con a mile away.

In his new-ish Apple movie, Wolfs, Mr. Clooney – with support from his buddy Brad Pitt – plays a handsome, slick, near infallible fixer. The type of guy you turn to when you have to dispose of a dead body, clean up a crime scene or drive backwards to safety in the middle of the night.

Is it bothering anyone else that it should be Wolves?? #justme

But it’s really a variation of the handsome, slick, near infallible, criminal mastermind Mr. Clooney first brought us almost a quarter century ago in the theatrical blockbuster Ocean’s Eleven (2001), which he then repeated in Ocean’s Twelve (2004), and then repeated again in Ocean’s Thirteen (2007).

Which are all a reboot, remake , rip-off or contemporary, cultural reappropriation (Note: You choose) of the original Ocean’s 11 (1960) starring Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. aka The Rat Pack, aka the George Clooney and Brad Pitt of their times.

Okay, perhaps the above sarcasm is a bit much. Or is it?

I’ll let you decide

See, the original Ocean’s was merely a goof of a film that packaged the kind of slick, easy, tongue-in-cheek late 50s style boys club humor the Rat Pack stars were known for by employing their larger-than-life celebrity personas on the big screen.

Almost two and a half decades ago it was sort of fun to have Clooney lead a gold star class of turn-of-the-21st-century movie stars of the time (Note: Pitt, Julia Roberts, Matt Damon) mug their way through fantasy, high stakes mischief.  But after milking the buddy-buddy, wink-wink style and tone in so many various ways over so many years and in so many other films in addition to the Oceans franchise, its repackaging on steroids into Wolfs feels a bit cheap and threadbare, despite its rumored $200 million budget. 

Yeah, it’s a little like this

Both Clooney and the movie ultimately come across like a well-wrapped last-minute re-regifting on Christmas morning.  Once you unwrap the pretty paper what you get inside ultimately makes little sense and shows a profound lack of imagination on the part of the person who gave it to you.  Something that, with a modicum of effort, they figured they could get away with.

The Chair again with the hot tea

One could ultimately say the same of JD Vance’s performance in the Vice Presidential debate as he tried to deftly repackage Donald Trump (Note: AKA his running mate and now forever #1) policies on steroids by way of Project 2025, all the while denying their intent and lying about his past and their existence.  His was an upside-down Alice in Wonderland world view, where he denied he did not want to ban abortion nationwide (Note: He is literally on audio and video saying the opposite multiple times), proclaims Mr. Trump tried to save Obamacare (Note: We literally saw John McCain vote that thumbs down years ago and have actual tweets of Trump whining about it) and simply lied about things like illegal immigrants stealing away jobs from American workers.  Fact check here.

Here, demonstrating his distance from the truth

This was all fueled by his delivery – a faux sincere Christ-like quality of benevolence and respect for everyone, most especially Democratic VP nominee Tim Walz, when he’s in the past and near present referred to unmarried American women as “unhappy, childless cat ladies,” his own running mate as “America’s Hitler” and called Mr. Walz’s 24 years in the National Guard, where he trained soldiers to use weapons of war, “stolen valor garbage.”

On the surface, which is where he lived in those 90 minutes, Mr. Vance proved himself to be a slick, silver-tongued debater, much in the same way Mr. Clooney’s characters were slick fixers and silver-tongued uber-thieves.  But once you get below the glossy surfaces the shiny masks give way to the real truth underneath.

Ahhhhhh!

For Vance it was when at the end of the debate, Mr. Walz point blank asked him whether Trump (Note: Indeed a former president, despite how much I loathe writing and admitting that) had actually lost his re-election bid to Joe Biden in 2020.  Clearly fearing the Wrath of Trump, or Sauron or Kahn, or even Gollum, Vance refused to say yes and tried to change the subject.  At which point Coach Walz, the everyman of us all, proclaimed directly to the camera (nee US), that was:

A damning non-answer.

Reality did not happen. 

an evergreen gif

Yet even after almost four years of a Biden presidency and dozens of victorious court cases, many decided by Republican judges who unanimously ruled against Trump and confirmed Mr. Biden’s win, Vance nevertheless continued to claim, there were “problems” with the election.

 The principal one being Mr. Trump could not get his controversial little hands on the Oval Office for a second term. – The Chair

Kaboom

You would think Mr. Clooney – who seems to take humble brag satisfaction at helping to successfully oust Mr. Biden from his bid for re-election in early July in a scathing NY Times editorial that went viral – would have not reveled in inertia but instead chosen a newer, more substantial and far less shiny piece of work to put before the American public than the unsatisfying shaggy dog story of Wolves Wolfs.

A mere three months ago, citing Mr. Biden’s age, he definitively and absolutely proclaimed, perhaps due to what he saw through his magical crystal ball, that “we (Democrats) are not going to win with this president” if we allowed Mr. Biden to try to play the same role in our body politic once again.

Profound as that may seem in hindsight, it’s essential to also know his forecast didn’t end there.  Instead he advised we figure it all out at a messy Democratic convention, where a GROUP of…strong Democrats stand and tell us why they’re best qualified to lead this country.

Because that would have totally worked right?

Never mind the first female, first woman of color Vice President going from the #2 to the #1 role.

Nothing new about that.  We need to shake things up.  Even more.

So easy to say when it’s not you who is being forced to step aside, tell the truth or reinvent.

Barbra Streisand – “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf”