Go ahead and gloat

The Chair is a loyal family member and friend, a devoted educator and a writer who tries, though does not always succeed, to see all sides of an issue in his work.

But the Chair is tired of being nice and taking the high road.

Aren’t you?

OK here we go!

I know many of you are because I received countless (Note: Okay, more than a dozen) gleeful, hopeful and prayerful messages this week that the indictment of Donald Trump means that he is finally going to be held responsible for his countless crimes against — HUMANITY!

Oh, of course not humanity.

It’s just for things like falsifying his business records while paying hush money to a porn star and then lying about it everywhere he saw fit.

YAWN… that old chestnut?

My friends worry that this case isn’t important enough or strong enough to get him. They call me to assuage their worries about things like that, though I can’t imagine why.

But I tell them to think of this indictment as an appetizer to a four or five course meal.

Or maybe simply a palate cleanser before the real meal begins.

Just the teeniest tiniest sampling

There is so much to look forward to: vote tampering, perjury, illegal possession of government documents, inciting an insurrection against the US government, cooking the books of your real estate business and pilfering multimillions of dollars to bolster a fortune you overestimate or underestimate to the IRS, depending on the day and what benefits you – though not necessarily in that order.

One supposes crimes against humanity could eventually be on that much longer list once the last rock is turned over and the last orange-hued cockroach is forced from its hiding place.  But who knows?  By that time we might be onto something else and he just might not be available for us to kick around anymore.

Hey guys!

And no, I’m not suggesting or threatening anyone!   And if I were, I certainly wouldn’t do it in writing.  And I definitely wouldn’t do it in public.

Unlike some people.

This is more than I can say for scores of the friends, relatives, acquaintances and strangers that have crossed my path over the last eight years.

Ever since Trump floated the idea of running for president, and right around the time he spread the false story that Pres. Obama, our first Black president, wasn’t born in this country, the seemingly nicest people in the world I’ve known and/or never met until that moment, have wished him death and fates worse than that.

And quite often, they’ve felt a bit guilty about it.

OK you got me Thor

I might not have learned a lot in therapy but one thing I’ve realized is that guilt is a wasted emotion unless it serves to suppress some abhorrent action.

Meaning that wishing someone a slow and painful torturous existence, or even death, is not the same as killing him/her/them or spending your time making sure they suffer in all kinds of imaginable and unimaginable ways.

In fact, it might even be healthy to wish all of those things on someone you loathe in the midst of a bile-filled tantrum of your choice, provided you don’t act on it.

Do they have prime delivery options?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me…after all.

Despite the fact that name-calling is a well-known, and guiltless, international Trumpian pastime.

This is why I also tell everyone that crosses my path who feels the need to confess that they have never wished any one person this much particular evil to… have at it!!

I do this because I know it’s healthy to vent but mostly due to the fact that after all these years I get they are far, far, FAR from ALONE.

I would include myself on this list of people.

Always accepting members

In my entire life, which is at this point is much longer than hypochondriacal me ever thought it would be in my younger years, I have never encountered a single public or private figure who has ever elicited so much bile from me and from so many others on such an unrelenting, and almost daily, basis.

It rivals the meanest mean girl (or guy) I knew in high school and brings to mind what came out of the mouth of the angriest and most egregious middle school complainer in the world.

Okay, the latter could even be me on certain days.  But still –

Oh fudge!

Rather than squash the instinct and provoke self-induced heart attacks or binge drinking, I want to let everyone know, and all those I don’t know, that  — IT’S OKAY.

Yell, gloat and say what you will in the privacy of your own home (Note: Or in selected public places to pre-screened selected audiences).

It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Not to mention, whatever you are thinking or saying, we’ve all likely thought worse.  And in my case, A LOT worse.

… that’s just for me to know

This begs the question of what he’s likely thinking and saying in regards to the likes of you and your kind – presently or in the past.  Or even future.

But the difference between him and us is that we don’t act out or act on those thoughts.  We’re in no danger of getting indicted for them because they’re not crimes.

Most certainly, they’re not crimes against humanity.

Which is more than I can say for….

Well, now I don’t even really need to say it.

“Bad Things” – Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello

The Golden Gavel

The most talked about show this week was the one where a group of adult politicians squirmed in desperation, objected in glee and eventually screamed with pride as they finally, after 15 torturous televised parliamentary procedure-moderated votes, managed to elect a new Speaker of the 2023 U.S. House of Representatives.

Well whoop de doo

And yet no single image summed up the marathon. multi-day event better than this behind-the-scenes photo snapped of Rep. Katie Porter (D-CA), she of handy-dandy, I will school you, portable white board fame, as she sat patiently waiting for the just barely-in-the-majority opposing party to get it together enough to agree on some one to take possession of that much hallowed Speaker’s gavel.

We stan

When Holly, our beloved NFAC executive editor, private messaged me the photo of our beloved Katie reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck amid all the chaos on the House Floor my first thought was:

 OMG, I bet that’s exactly what she’d say after a glass a wine and exactly what she’d do, née read publicly, if she WASN’T a politician.

I also thought. What a f’n great title for a book!  Someone should write that rather than just spend time merely reproducing it for some snide meme people like me would like.

Well, never let it be said that I don’t tell tales on myself out of school and don’t appreciate former college professor Katie (Note: And current one, Holly) for both their nerve AND for schooling me once more.

As it turns out, The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, written by blogger Mark Manson, is indeed a REAL BOOK.  In fact, it’s a N.Y. Times bestseller that to date has sold 20 million copies and has been translated into 65 different languages. 

And it has a sequel!

Not only that, but he’s the subject of a 2023 documentary feature now playing in movie theatres, entitled….well, figure it out.

I’m so out of it. 

But, well, at least I know it.  And clearly I DON’T give a f*ck.   Nothing subtle about that.

Cheers to you Chairy!

But let’s get back to Katie and Mark and how together they’ve captured the national zeitgeist, as far as public reaction goes, to the Speaker of the House election.

“F” bombs flew, fingers wagged, and a fistfight nearly broke out among that very special group of political, ahem, elites, by the time a razor thin majority of Republicans dragged their new leader, Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA), across the finish line. 

The final vote had McCarthy with 50.5% of the chamber, excluding six members of his own party that could only bring themselves to vote present (Note: A House version of abstaining) rather than granting their candidate a full-on endorsement.

Press it again!

This, of course, was nowhere near the spectacle of the Jan. 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol Building that ironically occurred exactly two years ago to the day in exactly the same place  and in front of many of the same people that this final vote was taking place.

Way back on Jan. 6, 2021  there was a storming of the entire Capitol Building to stop the count of a free and fair PRESIDENTIAL election.  And on that day many, many dozens of people were actually physically injured, including 140 members of law enforcement.   Windows and doors were broken, offices were defaced and feces were spread all over the walls.

Oh and also, five people died.

Never forget

A number of politicians who supported that insurrection, attempted coup or patriotic peaceful protest of the Republican base of disgruntled and suspicious voters – depending on how you want it referred to and whether you believe in fact or fiction – were, in fact, actually among those whose votes, or votes of PRESENT, granted Rep. McCarthy his….victory two years later.

People like Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), the subject of an extensive federal probe of sex-trafficking/having sex with a 17-year-old girl; and Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO), a twice arrested gun enthusiast and anti-gay marriage crusader who believes the church is supposed to direct the (U.S.) government.

This this this

Not to mention several more we won’t name who were in on the planning of Jan. 6 2021, along with POTUS #45.

Speaking of #45, another McCarthy voter, Rep. Marjorie Taylor-Greene (R-GA), she of the Jewish space lasers, gleefully approached one of the McCarthy PRESENT holdouts with her cell phone at the 11th hour and urged him to take the call of D.T. (aka #45), which he promptly refused.  (Note: Okay, twist my arm, it was Rep. Matt Rosendale (R-CO)).

But, as the reporting goes, #45 did manage to reach Rep. Gaetz and urged him to wrap things up and get the vote done.

Which, miraculously, he did at the eleventh and a half hour.

But not before Rep. Greene was then caught by intrepid C-SPAN cameras yucking it up with about to be newly minted, lair, liar pants on fire Congressman George Santos (R-NY).

Where’s my cringe button?

In case you don’t remember, that’s the guy who lied about everything on his resume, including his college degree, work history in finance, and mysterious million dollar plus increase in annual income in 2021 and 2022 (Note: From $50,000 the year prior), that became one of the chief funding mechanisms that enabled his campaign win.

Like Gaetz,  #45 and a bunch of other Congressional McCarthy voters, he is also currently the subject of multiple investigations.

I guess this isn’t funny.  Or maybe it is.   We’ll know in a few months. 

But how many of us will give a you know what about it, or much of anything, by then?

“The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” Trailer