2024 So Predictable

For too many of us contemporary culture vultures, everything feels predictable.

Okay, for this culture vulture but let me speak for the group.

Listen up Barbies

We long for something or someone to surprise us since at this point we usually can predict the outcome of an election, the top winners at any major awards show or whether a new person will bomb or crush in their film or TV debut with at least an 85% accuracy rate.

It’s not that we feel brilliant or above it all… most of the time.

OK Chairy

It’s more that there is so much coverage and traditional wisdom around these events everywhere you turn that it’s hard not to be correct.

This is especially true when you’ve made wasting your time following these things your principal side gig because it makes you feel in control of… something.

That is why I’m particularly unhappy to report that after frittering away my Saturday on watching the results of the South Carolina Republican presidential primary, the SAG awards and the Saturday Night Live hosting debut of comedian Shane Gillis (Note: He of the well-documented racist and homophobic jokes, imitations and remarks) not a f-ng thing out of the ordinary happened.

So, so bored

-Trump beat Nikki Haley in her home state of South Carolina by a whopping 20%.

-The Screen Actors Guild awarded Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer) and Lily Gladstone (Killers of the Flower Moon) top film actor and actress [Note: Turned out it didn’t matter how much WE all wanted an upset by Paul Giamatti (The Holdovers) and Emma Stone (Poor Things)]; and the top honor for best motion picture cast to Oppenheimer to literally NO prognosticator’s surprise.

-Shane Gillis turned out to be as good of a fit for Saturday Night Live as The Chair would be as a guest on one of his infamous podcasts where he does imitations of Asian people, makes Jew jokes and manages to stay timely with snide remarks about the trans community.

At the end of the day, it’s all a bit tiresome.

Meaning, if the world is going to continue to devolve on such sour notes and drag pop culture down along with it, the least it can be is a little unpredictable.

wahhhhh

Perhaps the problem is that the last time the majority of us were truly surprised by a political contest, an awards show or the virgin performance of an entertainer in any field was with the results of the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

We all remember that feeling, right?  Even those who hoped for that outcome were surprised.

Not ready to relive that trauma, please

(Note: Yes, Michael Moore, I know YOU knew and I’m still a fan but please, stop SAYING it).

Look, it’s easy to underestimate or overestimate the political the power of Aspiring Orange Hitler, but it didn’t take a genius to imagine he might emerge with a decisive victory this weekend in a state where six of ten voters identify as White Evangelical Christians. 

What’s harder to figure is how some of them might not fall away given the 91 criminal charges against him, including the rape of one woman and the bribing of another who just happens to be an adult film star… that he had his lawyer pay to stay silent… about the adultery he committed with her… several times. 

You’d think my meter would be broken by now

It also begs the question of thinking that surprise might be coming for him considering his opponent was a popular, two-term former governor of the very state they were running in.

Until you consider that opponent is a WOMAN.  And a non-white one at that. 

Shame on any one of you, or us, for believing the inside skinny that at the very least this would narrow his margin of victory. 

Or that anything could except the literal reappearance of the son of God himself.  (Note: But, well, you do know that a subset of said evangelicals do believe He was anointed by God to become POTUS again, right?)

I mean… what do you say to that?

Speaking of God, or goddesses, this brings us back to the SAG Awards and one of the few divine moments in all of those competitive events on Saturday – the acceptance speech by Barbra Streisand for SAG’s Life Achievement Award.

Right, the Chair is gay, AND Jewish, AND from the New York boroughs so OF COURSE he loves Barbra. 

Love you, mean it.

But that aside – see for yourself if you don’t find her musings on why she became an actor, and her love of the movies and the people who make them, especially honest, disarming and, well, a bit unpredictable given all the buildup.

This is to take nothing away from Pedro Pascal (The Last of Us), who provided the other small surprise of the ceremony when he went onstage to pick up his award for best actor in a TV drama series and admitted he was a little drunk and could get drunk because he thought he’d never win.

Yeah, many predicted one of the Succession guys would but I actually had an inkling PP might get the nod because… well… he never wins, he is THAT good and he is the kind of actor who can admit he drank too much but still manage to be charming and semi-coherent..

Not to mention – the just-a-tad too open, but not unwelcomely open, white shirt.

Gotta love him

Alas, on Saturday Night Live a somewhat uncomfortable Shane Gillis made his entrance onstage wearing a loose-fitting plain black T-shirt and seemed to do everything he could to make amends by not making amends. 

Admitting as he began his monologue, I shouldn’t be here, he then performed a somewhat flat, rather undistinguished ten minutes affirming SNL’s decision more than four years ago to fire him from the cast before he even filmed his first episode.  This was due to the treasure trove of free-wheeling online remarks and bits targeting all sorts of minority and majority groups found after his hire that any bro fest across the country might discuss, but only in the privacy of their own, um, bar. (Note: Sadly, times and tastes in the podcasting world have changed since then, and not necessarily in a good way).

Snooze

What we discovered in Gillis’ SNL appearance this weekend, is what most of us from any of the above targeted groups could have predicted.  In the unforgiving spotlight of network TV, his humor level was revealed to be practically nil because it’s not particularly funny, or clever, or timely to begin with, especially when you take it out of the kind of bars where members of groups like us are not welcomed in the first place.

Jokes about the handicapped, the Black community and the gay community are couched by Gillis confessing he has family members in the first two groups, presumably meaning that anything he says about them is now okay.  Then, by admitting that he himself was once gay for my Mom as a boy until the first time I whacked off, at which point I then began to wonder, when is that bitch gonna leave the house, he seems to grant himself permission to speak about the third.

HEAVY SIGH

So okay, here’s the thing.  Portraying yourself as a little gay boy onstage by making shy little gay bows and sways is the kind of very predictable, unamusing stuff that one expects from the guy. Ditto the jokes about Down’s Syndrome just because his sister has a child born with the condition, or the ethnic ones preceding it since she had adopted Black daughters…

There really was only surprise. 

Why he, in particular, was brought back to host in a time when we all desperately need to get past our differences and laugh at ourselves.  Also, just how utterly predictable and inadequate so much of what is being offered up to us in the public square has become in election year 2024.

Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Were”

Pre Oscar Buzz

The Oscars will be held this coming weekend and it’s time for some random observations.

#1 – CHRIS ROCK AND THE WILL SMITH OSCAR SLAP ONE YEAR LATER

Well, we finally got our complete response from Chris Rock and it did not disappoint.

It was broadcast Saturday night on his live Netflix comedy special, Selective Outrage.

If you did not tune in, just know the entire set is great – smart, candid and brilliantly written and delivered.  

But most importantly, it’s really funny.

Oh he did not hold back

Nevertheless, it was the last 10 minutes that viewers will most remember, one that built to a well-earned mic drop to the question most of us have been waiting a year for him to answer:  

What was it like and how do you feel about being slugged really hard on live TV in front of 16 million plus people at the most prestigious awards ceremony in the world by one of the biggest stars in the world because he couldn’t take a joke? 

Well, first of all – it REALLY HURT.

And birthed an A+ NY Post headline

In terms of movies, think of it as the big guy who played Muhammad Ali (Smith) slugging the skinny kid who played Pookie (Rock) in New Jack City.

His words, not mine. 

But that was just the start.  Suffice it to say that in 10 minutes every ounce of massaged and manicured new age apology offered in pretty much any context by Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, was expertly shredded into origami and virtually shoved down their throats.

And we love a good shredding

But more importantly, it served to neuter the need for whatever obligatory dumb jokes that had been scheduled to address last year’s incident on the show, thus freeing this year’s ceremony to be as clever, dull, silly or timely as it chooses to be on its own.

Score one for team Rock and know that the festivities will likely achieve only two of the above four.

#2 – EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE OSCAR NOM-NOMS – This film grew on me and deserves the best picture and director wins it is clearly going to get next Sunday night.

James Hong sealed the deal at last week’s SAGs

I confess that after I viewed it the first time, barely holding on to middle age me didn’t quite get all the hoopla.  I mean, it was okay, but…huh? 

However, after watching it a second time it quickly became one of my favorite films of the year and, by any standards, one of the most original. 

Those of us who are not into multi-verse realities (Note: This includes myself AND most of my middle-aged friends) were a bit lost with EEAAO’s scattershot approach to reality.

But at its heart the film is actually nothing more, or less, than a very clever contemporary take on The Wizard of Oz.  Who doesn’t want to run away from a family that doesn’t listen to them when they are never truly seen?  On the other hand, what do you do when you suddenly realize that you are the one who is equally not seeing OR listening to them?

That’s one way to describe the multiverse

That’s a pretty good hat trick to pull off thematically, especially when the Mom who is substituting for Dorothy has to alternate between being a martial arts master, a glamorous movie star and a tired-looking working stiff, not to mention the voice of a googly-eyed rock.

A different kind of Oscar Rock this year

Here’s hoping that Michelle Yeoh makes history and wins a well-deserved best actress Oscar alongside the sure thing supporting actor Oscar win for Key Huan Quan as her sweet, put-upon husband. 

I think she will and that we’re looking at a big EEAAO sweep of all the top honors it’s nominated for in the making.

#3- THE VAGARIES OF THE VAGUE – There is something going on with films in the last few years for this viewer, aka ME, and it’s much more than having to watch EEAAO a second time to truly get it.

It seems there is a groundswell among critics and many industry-ites, nee Academy and other guild members, to go crazy for movies that feel slow, undone and vague.  Two examples this year are the multi-Oscar nominations for Tar and the near lock Women Talking has for the screenwriting award.

And we know how the Chair feels about ol’ Lydia Tar

Both films deal with the power struggles of women in unusual but incredibly obtuse ways.  Both are interesting looking, well acted and well made.  Yet both lack narrative details, drive and urgency, often choosing to stay mired in a miasma of talk and pretension.

It simply feels odd that Women Talking is a shoo-in for a best adapted screenplay win for writer-director Sarah Polley and that Tar’s Cate Blanchett is the top contender to snatch the best actress Oscar away from the more deserving Ms. Yeoh.

Don’t put that out into the universe!

This is especially true when two far superior films about women and their struggle for and against power, She Said and Till, were totally ignored by the Academy, 

Having seen all four films it’s hard not to conclude that the clear, well-crafted narratives of the latter two were judged not hip or happening enough for accolades by film critics and voters that believe something different always means something better.

I wonder what Miranda would have to say about this

For them I say, there’s a reason I can still wear the classic white shirt I bought at Agnes B a full 35 years ago but long ago gave away my beloved purple Armani suit that at the time I was convinced would be perennially flawless.

 #4 – THERE IS NO BEST ACTOR THIS YEAR – All of the people in this category, not to mention in most categories, are great.  But anyone who can say for sure whether Austin Butler will win for his startlingly shape shifting performance in Elvis or Brendan Fraser will take home the Oscar for his raw, heartbreaking acting turn of a lifetime in The Whale, is lying.

Some years it’s simply a tie.  Or an upset for Colin Farrell, who could squeak in for his subtle work in the much Oscar loved Banshees of Inisherin.

A tight race

Put a gun to my head and I’d say it’s probably Austin Butler’s ability to not only physically resurrect but also sing beloved Elvis Presley back to life.  On the other hand, I’m not gonna publicly deny one of the best male performances I’ve seen in years, by George of the Jungle, no less, from getting his much deserved Oscar win.

Which brings me to:

#4B – Darren Aronofsky’s The Whale received a handful of Oscar nominations but has received middling critical reviews pretty much across the board.  I don’t get it.  It’s one of the best, if not most disturbing, movies of the year.  It’s a tough watch but watch it.  It’s the anti-hip and happening and vague film stylistically (Note: Lucky for us) though ironically it seems to me that its in your face emotional rawness is exactly what we need in the world right now.

Not an easy watch — but should it be?

And finally:

#5 – THE OSCAR ARE ICONIC BUT…As fun as they are for all the right and wrong reasons, at the end of the day they don’t mean a lot.   And they’re often wrong.

I watched a double feature this afternoon on Turner Classic Movies of Born Yesterday (1950) and Some Like It Hot (1959).

One of the best lines ever

They are classic movies at their best – superbly entertaining, perfectly crafted and more than able to stand the test of time against most of their contemporaries.

Judy Holliday won the lead actress Oscar in Born Yesterday for recreating her much acclaimed Broadway performance.  But let’s remember in doing so she beat out Bette Davis, who gave one of the best female performances in film history as Margo Channing in All About Eve, and Gloria Swanson, who created one of the most enduringly iconic as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard.

All tea no shade

As for Some Like It Hot, it’s a movie that has been consistently rated by writers, directors and critics as one of the top five comedies of all-time, if not THE top.  Yet its only Oscar win was for best costumes and it failed to even receive a nomination for either best picture or best director.

The film that received the most Oscar nominations that year was, um,…Ben Hur.  And it was awarded the best picture, best director (William Wyler) and best actor (Charlton Heston) Oscar, among others.

Yep, this.

Try sitting through all 123 hours of Ben-Hur after watching Some Like It Hot.  And if you manage to, report back to us on which one you liked best.

“Running Wild” – from Some Like It Hot