Hollywood from the Couch

I spent part of this weekend binge-watching the first three episodes of the new, gay-themed Canadian sports romance series, Heated Rivalry, on HBO despite being told the death of the movies was upon us.

Once again.

In any other era this would be sacrilegious for a movie lover.

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Allow me to explain

The funereal panic was related to the announcement that Netflix was buying Warner Bros. Discovery for the incomprehensible price (NOTE: To me, anyway.  I’m still smarting over $10 eggs) of $82.7 billion. A pending deal that, according to the N.Y. Times, could redefine Hollywood and the broader media landscape.

I have no doubt the above is true since Hollywood and media has been consistently redefining itself every couple of years since I first became professionally involved with it in the late 1970s.

Yes, I have all the career, financial and personal battle scars to prove it.  And one night, over cocktails, I’ll tell you all about if you so desire.  

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Maybe some snowy night by the fire…

But more to the point, I have all the iterations of media and my own work to prove it.

Unopened boxes in my closet that contain VHS recordings of rare movies taped from network TV, cassette and eight tracks of movie soundtracks (Note: And more than a few vinyl records), a neatly tied bundle of laser discs (Note: A very short but very cool tech period, in my humble opinion), many drawers of CD movie themes/songs I bought or were sent to me from studios during awards seasons or for promotional purposes, and several walls full of DVDs my husband and I love having on hand even though three quarters of them are available on streaming services.

Add to that hundreds of original screenplays, pilots and treatments (Note: Several dozens of them my own) of very good work that was never made because they weren’t big enough, commercial enough, contemporary enough, relatable enough, young enough or just plain enough enough for the theatrical film market as it stood at the time.

Speaking for those projects that I DID NOT write, since no one can be objective about their own work, I promise you that determination is and was BULLSH-T since all of them could have been enough if given the chance.

Hi! I'm Anxiety. — World of Miley
Ya got that right

But, of course, it depends on what you mean by enough.  My definition is a film, or potential film or film element, that is entertaining or meaningful or satisfying to  group of people other than your friends and relatives. 

The theatrical deciders’ definition is a piece of material that will make them unlimited scads of money for the smallest amount of risk despite the tried and true adage, Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

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Main priority

Meaning, screenwriter William Goldman’s summation of the movie business and all its marketplace gatekeepers in his seminal 1983 memoir Adventures in the Screen Trade still, and perennially, applies:

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

What especially no one knows anymore is what a movie is by 2025 and beyond standards and how it should or will be consumed. (Note:  Consumed?  What a horrible but applicable choice of words, as if we’re eating soylent green, though in a sense we are).

The chief complaint about Netflix and other streaming platforms is that their mere existence spells the death knell of the movie business, and the fact that it’s gobbling up one of what remains of a handful of big Hollywood studios ushers in the end of “movies.”

Well the view from my office would certainly change

After all, what incentive does Netflix have for people to watch a film outside of their homes, in a theatre (aka, the definition of a “real” movie)?

About as much as David Zaslav, a former cable/streaming exec who was put in charge of theatrical when he was made CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery in 2022 cares about it. 

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His company portrait

Though probably more, since one of Zaslav’s first acts when put in charge was a cost-cutting measure that would’ve ended the one cable channel most beloved by movie lovers, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), as we know it, until filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Martin Scorsese and others stepped in to exert a little… ahem… pressure.

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Bless you, Marty

This while Netflix stepped up and made movies and deals with some of the top directors in the movie business, including Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Guillermo del Toro (Frankenstein), Rian Johnson (Knives Out II and III) and Greta Gerwig (the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia) and her husband Noah Baumbach (the just-released George Clooney starrer, Jay Kelly). 

All of these films have had or will have theatrical runs of various lengths and all the work of these and most other filmmakers will likely continue to do so.

Are they or will they be as long as they used to be?  Well, um, no.

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I mean… I think I could be OK with that

But to all of the movie consumers out there – nerds, intellectuals, horror fanatics, foreign film fans, the super-hero obsessed or rom-com fanatics – how many times have you uttered these four words in the last number of years:

Is it streaming yet?

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Guilty!

It is worth noting the film most likely to win this year’s best picture Oscar and, for my money, the best film of 2025, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, was a Warner Bros. release that played a mere eight weeks before being available to rent or buy on streamers. 

This is not very long at all by traditional standards. And will undoubtedly vary depending on how much demand there is to see a film and how much money can be made on them.

One Gif After Another : r/paulthomasanderson
… and there he goes

I used to marvel when my parents recounted to me there was a time that they huddled around the RADIO to listen to original serialized storytelling.  The same way I did to my husband a few years ago when I suddenly realized true crime podcasts were becoming the new commercial “thing,” making something very recognizably radio popular again.

Do I long for the old days of movies?

Not so much.

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I’m with Margo

What I long for instead are the days of more good and great movies and less pure commercial garbage for the mythical lowest common denominator, non-thinking international, four quadrant audience.

And on that subject, I’d put more faith in Netflix than in the guy who treated Dr. Pimple Popper and 90 Day Fiancé with the same reverence as a Scorsese or Nolan film when he first listed them on HBO Max.

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Nuff said

Not that there is anything wrong with any film or TV show of any kind. Including the steamy Heated Rivalry, which I have every intention of watching in between this year’s Oscar movies – at the theatre and at home.

On my couch. 

Doom scrolling.

The Beach Boys – “In My Room”

The Macabre of it all

It is not lost on me that that the only two TV series I’m watching at the moment are Wednesday and Dexter. 

Though why wouldn’t you want to keep up with a snide, too-smart-for-the-room malcontent who can’t completely bend the world to her will despite her vast intellectual powers, or the dark passenger of good guy serial killers who only kills the bad guys?

Though I do miss the “kill shirt”

So many of us are frustrated that well-reasoned, fact-based logic no longer works. And I’ll bet even more fantasize about the countless ways we could do away with the truly evil bad guys who are wreaking havoc on our streets, or from inside buildings of rarefied power.

Though, well, perhaps it’s just me.

It’s not just you, Chairy.

Let’s face it, these are macabre times.

If you are of the baby boomer (1946-1964) or Gen X (1965-1980) generations it’s particularly strange to see U.S. soldiers in an airfield on their knees rolling out a literal red carpet to the president of Russia and all that implies.

Is this like rooting for Ivan Drago??

From an ongoing nuclear arms race to a free democracy vs. autocratic dictatorship stance, the dangerous differences between us allowed polite constructive conversation for the good of the planet but never a glad-handing, subservient welcome wagon.

It’d be like Dexter greeting David Berkowitz, the Notorious “Son of Sam” killer in NYC in the 1970s, at a dinner party with a bear hug and a back slap.

Well when you put it that way

At best, Dex would politely nod at him in order to keep the peace, and then spend most of the rest of the evening listening to suss out the danger and to quell any potential violence on the immediate horizon.

And if that analogy sounds like a reach, it should be known this season’s Dexter: Resurrection actually has our amiable anti-hero at a serial killer dinner party, assembled by a fictional tech billionaire played by Peter Dinklage, for his own amusement, with help from his icy assassin assistant in the form of Uma Thurman.

And yes, Dinklage wears a Doctor Evil suit

It seemed like a bit of a stretch at first, but as world and domestic events unfold in 2025 one can’t help but wonder how many secret confabs of real world baddies go unnoticed right under all of our collective noses.

Of course, it depends on what your definitions of bad and good; heroes and villains are.  And for that definition I couldn’t venture a guess on anything timely enough to satisfy a majority of Americans, never mind the world’s population.

This is what happen when there is no longer an accepted baseline of what is acceptable in a country that is often touted as the actual leader of democracy in the free world.

We’re all tap dancin’ with Sutton because Anything Goes #hyuckhyuck

As for Wednesday, she lives merely on television, in a community of people who are “different” from the norm (Note: In her case, a school for gifted teenagers with supernatural power, aka Outcasts), located in a town of so-called “normies.”  It’s a place her parents bring her to so she can be educated and thrive in a free environment and thus ultimately have a better life.

Sure, it sounds good on paper, but in practice…. well, let’s just say the school and the town is loaded with barriers of pre-judgement and predators, often coming from the upper echelons of power at the school itself.

Though not entirely.

And how can we be mad when the outfits are Bewitched levels of amazing?

Wednesday may be tough, smart and possess unique powers that could benefit those around her, but her difference proves too great.  Her elders see her as a threat to the current social order and their futures.  Too many in her community find her confidence and looks off-putting.  And she does herself no favors in how little tolerance she has for any of it – or anything else.

At another time and in another place, she might even be referred to as “uppity.”

Rude

No one believes Wednesday Addams will always do the right thing or turn out to be one of the “good” ones once she is an adult.  But a principle premise of the series is that she, and the rest of those society snap judges to be “outcasts” without any proof their differences equal danger and justify contempt, should be given a chance in a world that purports to run on freedom.

It’s the argument for democracy.

It’s the argument for immigrants.

Indeed

It’s the argument for free and fair elections on an even playing field in a country that professes to be emancipated.

Just as no one believes Dexter Morgan, a guy whose skill at slicing up the human bodies of his victims into a dozen neatly wrapped freezer bags and then thrown into the nearest ocean or trash compactor, is the best role model we have for moral virtue and decision-making.

What’s scary is that these days, at the end of one of our maddeningly endless “news” days, their choices are beginning to look not half bad.

“Bloody Mary” – Lady Gaga (sped up via Wednesday)