Severed with Mickey at the White Lotus

As I explained to a friend, I can’t NOT watch/read the news because as a former full-on neurotic it’s scarier for me to NOT be in touch with what’s really going on than to imagine what is truly going on.  As bad as the world might seem to be at the moment – and what it seems to me is pretty bad – I know from experience I’d conjure up a hell of a lot worse left to my own devices.

Still, this was a week.

Why can’t I just look away??

So after hearing about:

  • The 30-year-old gay male makeup artist from Venezuela who was grabbed by ICE because of a few meaningless tattoos and deported to an El Salvador prison where no one has heard from him in more than a week. 
  • The mid-forties U.S. military veteran with terminal cancer whose experimental treatments keeping him alive were cancelled by Elon Musk’s DOGE bros because they were too….something.
  • And the nice old ladies in red states across the country singing protest songs, or screaming, at town halls over the closing of local Social Security offices and the very real prospect that their earned benefits will soon disappear…

I turned to the movies and television.

Join me!

This is not unusual and reminded me of the time I binge-watched the first four and a half seasons of Breaking Bad in nine days.  Ostensibly it’s because my sister told me I would never be able to catch up before the last six episodes aired but also and equally important was the fact that I knew I had to endure my first colonoscopy the following month and wanted something, anything, to do to keep my mind occupied.  

Following this reasoning, I took myself to see the new Bong Joon Ho movie, Mickey 17.  Yes, I had assigned it to my students over spring break but, really, what better way to get reality out of your mind than to watch a film where Robert Pattinson gets to play 17 (Note: Actually there’s 18) versions of the same character?  Even the trailer made me laugh, and that’s an achievement in itself these days.

So he’s like a really good actor?

Armed with no more information than that, wasn’t I surprised to see Mickey 17 was all about the dystopian future of the have and have nots, populated by one particular cult type leader who for no discernible reason at all seems able cast a spell over the masses and get them to follow him. He does this with promises of exceptionalism he never plans keeping to people whose welfare he cares nothing about unless said people can help him expand his own wealth or psychological value in a place, nee planet, where you can become an expendable for experimentation.  

Oh no…

Meaning you get copies made of you multiple, and many, times.  Meaning you DIE, but not really because somehow they make copies of you from your dead  body/carcass, though don’t ask me how.  Of course not everyone does this, most of the people just enable it through their everyday tasks.  But this is done on a planet/alternative universe that it takes 4 years to get to in a scientific endeavor headed by a failed politician played by Mark Ruffalo, by way of Donald Trump. 

How do I know it’s Trump?  Well, he sounds like him, moves like him and, perhaps most importantly, is  married to an ice princess wife who doesn’t really know much of anything except satisfying her own pleasures and propping up her delusional husband in order to do so.

I will never think of sauce the same

Pattinson is indeed hilarious in the title role(s) (Note: Comedy? Who knew?) and the movie is chock full of ideas.  But it’s a narrative mess that has more tangents than a Trump speech. Nothing is quite cohesive but it’s never uninteresting and always feels original.  Unlike a Trump speech.  

Anyway, I was trying to get away from all that and, just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. #Godfatherisms.

I’m exhausted

This made me think, or shall I say turn to, television for some order, since TV has so many platforms we all in Hollywood love talking about, that give us so much more to choose from these days.

But instead of watching a rerun of The Nanny, which for me never fails to delight, or The Twilight Zone, which can be scary but at least has clear characters and surprise twist endings I can get behind, I decide to stay with different and original because that’s generally my taste in what passes for good writing.

except maybe not. #allergies

As one studio development executive who liked my writing told me in the nineties, this kind of multi-layered intelligent stuff just might be my downfall in the 21st century.  And while I can’t say she was correct overall, in this case I do have to give her points.

Because The White Lotus, season 3, episode 5 offered both the KISS and the MONOLOGUE.  The latter was brilliantly delivered by Sam Rockwell, playing a guy’s guy with access to guns and drugs, who seriously sits down with his middle-aged white guy friend and delivers one of the better written speeches on TV in quite a while.  In it,  he basically confesses that besides being promiscuous with hundreds of women in Thailand he has also been enjoying anal sex with an equal number of men, and more than one at a time, and that eventually he added different women to stare at him while he was receiving, which then led him to further question his sexual identity, and wonder whether he really wanted to be a….Well, let’s just say he goes into sexual territory that has been scrubbed from every Trump-led government website because, according to current U.S. law, it doesn’t exist.  

Also kudos to Walton Goggins for some of the best reaction acting ever

As if that wasn’t enough to bring me back to our present unreality, there was no outraged reaction to it the next day. Instead it was seen as wild and interesting, which I applaud but at the same time don’t understand because aren’t these the kind of thoughts that MAGA voters find reprehensible? I guess not.  But you know what was found to be intolerable – the KISS between two ultra drugged and ultra drunk brothers (Patrick Schwarzenegger and Sam Nivola) who were mercilessly egged on to kiss each other by two women they were trying to bed all night in a brain-breaking montage towards the end of the episode.  The kiss lasted mere seconds but the next day social media was virtually exploding in horror with phrases like, ICK, ICK ICK!;  I won’t watch any White Lotus after THAT; or WHY????

No, I am not advocating for homosexual incest between siblings (Note: Though if they are both past the age of consent if really isn’t my business), but…

YOU CONFUSE ME AMERICA.  Though perhaps that is the point?  Or is it?  Now, well, I’m really confused.

Like for real

Which leads perfectly into the finale of Apple’s Severance, a streaming series that I like but often leaves me confused.  I spoke about it with my tv writing students this week and a few confessed they were obviously not “smart enough to understand it.”  I quickly corrected them, saying that they were since I, myself, am a “smart enough” viewer and I don’t fully understand either.

Here you have a show with a clever concept – a futuristic, dystopian world where there is technology that enables you to split half your day with a doppelganger of yourself, via brain chip implant,  that won’t feel the pain or anxiety you are enduring and will also somehow tame your own misery and anxiety in the real world.  Yet in this doppelganger world, run by the nebulous and suspiciously evil company Lumon, you are a business dressed worker, a cog in a creepily obtuse corporation, clustering onscreen numbers into onscreen boxes inside an onscreen computer system for reasons you don’t fully understand.

also with inexplicable office design

Nevertheless, a job’s a job and what you find is that at least it’s a task to keep your wandering mind occupied from the true reality of pain. Though, truly, you don’t really know what life is like for your “outie” (Note: The you that lives in the outside world) because you’re an “innie” (Note: The half of that person who just lives to sort and type).

The series is a slow roll out and through the first season asks the question of what happens when the “innie” of you actually starts to care about the people you work with, forms relationships and even falls in love.  What agency do they have in their life outside of what they are programmed by their world to do?  This, of course, is a question many of us are asking ourselves these days – though in a different way than people did in the 1960s and 1970s (Note: A fact I can testify to since I was there).

.. and what if there’s dancing?

Anyway, Severance always intrigues, even if you have little sense of what this fictional company with these innies is up to.  Clearly, it’s evil but what is their end game?  The 1% that run Lumon seem to be making lots of money but the sheer disregard for human life, the glee over the punishments they mete out to those in their way, and the total lack of empathy they have for any person or thing or institution that dare questions their actions keeps reminding me of one nagging question for the writers and, ahem, Lumon.  Among others.

Why?  Why do this?  What do you hope to gain? Are you not human?  Wait, we know you’re human.  But what kind of human are all of you?  There are gaggles of people at Lumon who feel this way and play along with the game.  So much so that it becomes a little hard to believe since even in the season two finale – where we get nebulous clues about the backstory of a few – that major dramatic question of why is never answered.

I mean… at least she has good hair

And that is when I once again think about the gay makeup artist, the veteran whose cancer treatments were no longer accessible to him due to the abolishment of that NIH program, and the terrified senior citizens who are showing up to town hall meetings screaming about the gutting of social security workers, offices and what seems an inevitable interruption, or dissolution, of the guaranteed pension they spent their life paying into.

Which prompts the answer to all of it.

It’s because…THEY CAN.  

Musk would definitely work at Lumon

They may want to do it for various personal reasons.  They’re angry, resentful, prejudiced against one group or another or perhaps were never hugged by their fathers or mothers.  

But as Severance has rightly decided in this year’s finale, that’s not the point.  

When those with power decide they want to do something, it’s not about figuring out their motivation and then trying to reason with them.  Because you’re being treated like an “innie.”  And if recent disapproval ratings for this administration are to be believed, that represents the clear majority of people in the country.  

That’s why at the end of the day it’s only about one thing – YOUR RIGHTS.

help me

Demanding those in power give them to you – or give them back to you – and when their actions say NO standing up to thwart them with EVERYTHING you have.

While you still can.

Before they put your number in a box and delete you, too.

Cynthia Erivo – “Stand Up”

2024 So Predictable

For too many of us contemporary culture vultures, everything feels predictable.

Okay, for this culture vulture but let me speak for the group.

Listen up Barbies

We long for something or someone to surprise us since at this point we usually can predict the outcome of an election, the top winners at any major awards show or whether a new person will bomb or crush in their film or TV debut with at least an 85% accuracy rate.

It’s not that we feel brilliant or above it all… most of the time.

OK Chairy

It’s more that there is so much coverage and traditional wisdom around these events everywhere you turn that it’s hard not to be correct.

This is especially true when you’ve made wasting your time following these things your principal side gig because it makes you feel in control of… something.

That is why I’m particularly unhappy to report that after frittering away my Saturday on watching the results of the South Carolina Republican presidential primary, the SAG awards and the Saturday Night Live hosting debut of comedian Shane Gillis (Note: He of the well-documented racist and homophobic jokes, imitations and remarks) not a f-ng thing out of the ordinary happened.

So, so bored

-Trump beat Nikki Haley in her home state of South Carolina by a whopping 20%.

-The Screen Actors Guild awarded Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer) and Lily Gladstone (Killers of the Flower Moon) top film actor and actress [Note: Turned out it didn’t matter how much WE all wanted an upset by Paul Giamatti (The Holdovers) and Emma Stone (Poor Things)]; and the top honor for best motion picture cast to Oppenheimer to literally NO prognosticator’s surprise.

-Shane Gillis turned out to be as good of a fit for Saturday Night Live as The Chair would be as a guest on one of his infamous podcasts where he does imitations of Asian people, makes Jew jokes and manages to stay timely with snide remarks about the trans community.

At the end of the day, it’s all a bit tiresome.

Meaning, if the world is going to continue to devolve on such sour notes and drag pop culture down along with it, the least it can be is a little unpredictable.

wahhhhh

Perhaps the problem is that the last time the majority of us were truly surprised by a political contest, an awards show or the virgin performance of an entertainer in any field was with the results of the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

We all remember that feeling, right?  Even those who hoped for that outcome were surprised.

Not ready to relive that trauma, please

(Note: Yes, Michael Moore, I know YOU knew and I’m still a fan but please, stop SAYING it).

Look, it’s easy to underestimate or overestimate the political the power of Aspiring Orange Hitler, but it didn’t take a genius to imagine he might emerge with a decisive victory this weekend in a state where six of ten voters identify as White Evangelical Christians. 

What’s harder to figure is how some of them might not fall away given the 91 criminal charges against him, including the rape of one woman and the bribing of another who just happens to be an adult film star… that he had his lawyer pay to stay silent… about the adultery he committed with her… several times. 

You’d think my meter would be broken by now

It also begs the question of thinking that surprise might be coming for him considering his opponent was a popular, two-term former governor of the very state they were running in.

Until you consider that opponent is a WOMAN.  And a non-white one at that. 

Shame on any one of you, or us, for believing the inside skinny that at the very least this would narrow his margin of victory. 

Or that anything could except the literal reappearance of the son of God himself.  (Note: But, well, you do know that a subset of said evangelicals do believe He was anointed by God to become POTUS again, right?)

I mean… what do you say to that?

Speaking of God, or goddesses, this brings us back to the SAG Awards and one of the few divine moments in all of those competitive events on Saturday – the acceptance speech by Barbra Streisand for SAG’s Life Achievement Award.

Right, the Chair is gay, AND Jewish, AND from the New York boroughs so OF COURSE he loves Barbra. 

Love you, mean it.

But that aside – see for yourself if you don’t find her musings on why she became an actor, and her love of the movies and the people who make them, especially honest, disarming and, well, a bit unpredictable given all the buildup.

This is to take nothing away from Pedro Pascal (The Last of Us), who provided the other small surprise of the ceremony when he went onstage to pick up his award for best actor in a TV drama series and admitted he was a little drunk and could get drunk because he thought he’d never win.

Yeah, many predicted one of the Succession guys would but I actually had an inkling PP might get the nod because… well… he never wins, he is THAT good and he is the kind of actor who can admit he drank too much but still manage to be charming and semi-coherent..

Not to mention – the just-a-tad too open, but not unwelcomely open, white shirt.

Gotta love him

Alas, on Saturday Night Live a somewhat uncomfortable Shane Gillis made his entrance onstage wearing a loose-fitting plain black T-shirt and seemed to do everything he could to make amends by not making amends. 

Admitting as he began his monologue, I shouldn’t be here, he then performed a somewhat flat, rather undistinguished ten minutes affirming SNL’s decision more than four years ago to fire him from the cast before he even filmed his first episode.  This was due to the treasure trove of free-wheeling online remarks and bits targeting all sorts of minority and majority groups found after his hire that any bro fest across the country might discuss, but only in the privacy of their own, um, bar. (Note: Sadly, times and tastes in the podcasting world have changed since then, and not necessarily in a good way).

Snooze

What we discovered in Gillis’ SNL appearance this weekend, is what most of us from any of the above targeted groups could have predicted.  In the unforgiving spotlight of network TV, his humor level was revealed to be practically nil because it’s not particularly funny, or clever, or timely to begin with, especially when you take it out of the kind of bars where members of groups like us are not welcomed in the first place.

Jokes about the handicapped, the Black community and the gay community are couched by Gillis confessing he has family members in the first two groups, presumably meaning that anything he says about them is now okay.  Then, by admitting that he himself was once gay for my Mom as a boy until the first time I whacked off, at which point I then began to wonder, when is that bitch gonna leave the house, he seems to grant himself permission to speak about the third.

HEAVY SIGH

So okay, here’s the thing.  Portraying yourself as a little gay boy onstage by making shy little gay bows and sways is the kind of very predictable, unamusing stuff that one expects from the guy. Ditto the jokes about Down’s Syndrome just because his sister has a child born with the condition, or the ethnic ones preceding it since she had adopted Black daughters…

There really was only surprise. 

Why he, in particular, was brought back to host in a time when we all desperately need to get past our differences and laugh at ourselves.  Also, just how utterly predictable and inadequate so much of what is being offered up to us in the public square has become in election year 2024.

Barbra Streisand – “The Way We Were”