Holiday Confidence

It would be so nice just to talk about movies.  

We’ll get to that and a lot more next week.  

But okay, if you must know, I’ve seen about two thirds of the most highly touted films of 2023 and so far my top two are Maestro and Oppenheimer. 

I do not care about the nose (and neither should you)

This leaves out a bunch of non-English language films I hear are great but are not yet available, or I couldn’t get to in the maybe one theatre they are playing in.

What is playing 24/7 in my house via TV, newspapers and way too much scrolling, is the potential end of democracy in a year or so if The King of Queens becomes POTUS again.

Yeah, he can have that title.  

The former, not the latter.

I think Kevin James might have an issue with that

As I’ve written previously, I’m convinced the one whose name few Republican presidential candidates dare to speak out loud, will get nowhere near the Oval Office again. 

Still, it’s become more than a part-time job convincing many of my worrywart friends who keep checking in and asking me if I am still sure.

Sing it, sister

Yes, I’m sure as I can be about anything.  Though if you’d asked me last year at this time if we’d need a new roof on our house in less than 12 months I would’ve bet against it.  

And lost.

Ouch.

(Note:  Oh relax and don’t take that as anything more than the snide remark I intended it to be).

We know what to expect from you Chairy

The point is The King of Queens lost to Pres. Biden by well over 7 million votes in 2020 and will lose by even more next year if his party is dumb enough to give Mr. Too-Many-Multiple-Indictments-To-Count another shot as its nominee.  

Three years after he LOST and Joe Biden WON the economy is defying all expectations – unemployment is low and prices are down at the gas pump and at the supermarket. (Note: Check the cost of fuel and eggs compared to all the doomsayer logic six months ago). 

I promise we are not in the Twilight Zone

Then look at the stock market in the last few weeks and compare it to when Kingy (Note: Or Queeny) left office.  And then remember where we were in the COVID pandemic late in 2020, thanks to Multi-Indict-y’s head-in-the-sand illogic of hiding the real truth from us, vs. where we are now.

And then, most importantly, remember this —

If you think the overwhelming number of women in this country are going to sit still and once again let us elect the understudy lead in next year’s summer stock touring production of Mein Kampf: The Musical as POTUS you are dead wrong.

Tina and Amy know

The vast majority of American women don’t want to check in with a bunch of old white men who don’t have medical degrees, especially that one, on whether or not to have a child. 

Nor should they.

My feeling on this is simple:  Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

Or, as we used to say  back in the late sixties and early seventies:

My Body, My Choice.

Amen!

By the way, we men, and those who identify as non-binary or anything else, should be right by their side.  Yet I’ve had enough of a cross-section of female friends over the decades to state without hesitation that even if enough of us don’t join them they are still — 

NOT.  HAVING.  IT. 

You can count on that, and not two honest Black female poll workers, as the reason for every single seemingly missing vote for a Republican running for election in 2024.  

Including Les King of Queens.

Sure is.

Is the middle east war, the Ukraine war and the fight over American immigration a mess?  Sure.  

But do you believe the bulk of us, an Electoral College majority, think it would be better to go backwards in time to Adolph Drumpf?

Nein.

Americans historically DO NOT like to go backwards and re-elect people they threw out in the first place. 

But, um, isn’t this different?  I mean, we’re letting in vermin and our American bloodline is being poisoned, right?

Hanks said it, not me

It sounds like an argument the dirty, old, unbathed men playing checkers in the public park in Queens near where I grew up used to make.

Just because you scream louder than everyone else as you feed a few appreciative dumb birds junk food doesn’t mean the rest of the flock won’t shit on your head for being an obnoxious human ass hat.  

Well ok then

And just because you cheat at checkers when your opponent’s back is turned and announce you’re the winner doesn’t mean you will be awarded the big trophy.

People, not to mention birds, are watching.

It’s survival of the fittest AND the smartest in our animal kingdom – that is unless the majority of us animals are too scared, frozen or busy to fight one tired, old and very bloated bird one last time.

Demi Lovato – “Confident”

Conduct Becoming

I spent my birthday this weekend with Bradley Cooper and it was more than I could have hoped for. 

Oooo Chairy, tell me more

He spoke after the screening of Maestro, a film he directed, co-wrote and stars in which I will happily tell everyone is original, riveting and at times even brilliant.

There, I said, it – the B word.  It no longer means Bradley or Bernstein.  And it’s not a word that I throw around lightly or, really, very much at all.

Brilliant literally means radiant, excellent or intelligent and the film is alternately all of those three, sometimes even at once.

You may quote me.

Moira gets it

Maestro is a sort of biopic of famed conductor, composer, musician and teacher Leonard Bernstein, told through the lens of his long and complicated marriage to actress Felicia Montealegre.  It was a marriage of two people who were turned on by creativity and creativity energy, which are not necessarily the same thing. 

To say the pair loved each other would not be an over-exaggeration.  But, as the movie so ably demonstrates, the dynamism of people like Bernstein, whose personalities and creativity and egos burn so bright on everything and everyone they touch becomes crushing, to both themselves and the people around them. 

The real Mr. and Mrs. Bernstein

Somewhere down the line, in a partnership or a marriage, the latter being the ultimate partnership, someone cedes center stage publicly and privately and, in this case, it was the unique and charismatic Ms. Montealegre.  

Until it wasn’t.

I’m listening…

The strength of the film is that as riveting as the unexpected magical realism of the first half is – aka the rise of Bernstein the show biz “star” and the his courtship of love and life – it’s the second half that gives the movie it’s weight.  That happens because of the storytelling ability of Cooper and co-writer Josh Singer and the qualities and actions of Ms. Montealegre herself, which are brought sharply into focus by the depth of the performances of Carey Mulligan and Cooper and the dynamic shifts they employ as a flesh and blood, and even occasionally pretentious, couple onscreen.

It’s an unexpected and truly original mix of drama, comedy and subtexts all played out to a series of carefully chosen musical cues of some of the composer’s best-known and perhaps not as well-known music.

Plus.. you know… Mr. Handsome

So much so that once Cooper and his co-writer, Josh Singer, were introduced at the Writers Guild Theatre for a talk back post-screening, they received a spontaneous and quite unexpected standing ovation.

Side Note:  The Writers Guild Theatre audience is a notoriously TOUGH crowd.  I’ve been going to these screening for years and there is seldom, if ever, a standing O.  As the recent WGA strike demonstrated, scribes DO NOT give it up for just anyone or anything.  Nor are we a crowd of star f-ckers.   As a group, writers are singularly unimpressed with movie stars in person unless it’s one-on-one and we think they might like something we wrote.  But in an en masse group directly after a screening, the work has to really put out, as they say, in order to receive anything more than professional, polite, or even mildly enthusiastic applause. 

We all did our best Meryl

In the case of Maestro, I think it’s the mere risk taking and audacity the film traffics in that the crowd admired.  And once its two writers started answering questions from writer-director/moderator Rian Johnson (Note: Yeah him, you could tell he liked it too), it became apparent why. 

The pair explained they spent almost five years writing the screenplay, immersed in research and determined to dig out some sort of narrative structure to tell a pretty unwieldy story.  They also clocked interminable hours figuring out how to relate the composer’s vast music library to what was going on in the moments of his life they chose to dramatize; or chose to leave out when it wasn’t pertinent.  Until finally, it miraculously became some sort of seamless, inevitable and occasionally tough to take story with a relatable beginning, middle and end.

It takes a room of ink-stained wretches (Note: That would be EVERYONE in the WGA) to know just how nearly impossible it is to get all of the above right on paper, much less in a final edited film.

Watch it Chairy

In fact, at one point Singer, who won an Oscar in 2015 for writing Spotlight, verbalized what was likely on every writer’s mind.   None of that would have been possible were he not co-writing and conceiving all of this with the person who would be directing the script AND starring as the title character.  Or had both Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese not been producers.

Nevertheless, the rest of us wretches can still dream, can’t we?

I mean…sure it could happen!

There is one more element to Maestro that allows it to soar in a way that movies during the period Bernstein and his crowd existed in never could. 

His homosexuality — or, I guess, bisexuality.  It’s hard to tell what’s what for men of certain tastes who were young adults in the forties, fifties and early sixties.

Yeah, there have been a lot of films with gay characters in the last thirty years.  But, well, not ALL that many compared to how many stories there are.  The fact that Maestro makes Bernstein’s continuous and clearly insatiable hookups, relationships or whatever you want to call them with men an integral part of the narrative unlocks an essential element of conflict, compromise, respect and more than a little self-loathing from both members of this couple’s perspectives.

And as a bonus one of them is Matt Bomer!

Their keen awareness yet simultaneous lack of self-awareness when it came to themselves and their partnership occurred in a delicate dance of acceptance and denial that a gay person like myself couldn’t help but feel was at the center of so much of this story.  It likely would not have even been possible to have employed it with so much deliberate casualness in a big budget studio feature as recently as, say, 10 years ago.  You’d have seen it but it would have been skewed or soft-pedaled to one side or the other.  As Maestro portrays Bernstein, it was a major moment, or shall we say a major series of moments, of a major life, which had so many more the film chose NOT to go into.

All of which contributed to earning Leonard Bernstein and this re-telling of his life the title of Maestro, and the movie all of the inevitable praise it so richly deserves.

Okay, now cue the detractors – because certainly they are coming too.

And don’t come back!

But whoever they are, and misguided as I might say they will be, watch it yourself, preferably on a big screen, stay with it, and decide on your own.

As we should all be doing about so many things that matter these days.

Candide Overture – Leonard Bernstein conducting