Culture Vulture

Each week pop culture seems to offer an irresistible topic of conversation.  Perhaps it’s the online, multi-tasking, Facebook and Twitter-heavy world we live in, but more and more it’s easy to feel that there is not just one topic but six or seven or twelve to choose from — many of which are not so much amusing, but, well, alternately awful, trivial or downright distasteful, and only occasionally uplifting.  And unfortunately, quite reflective of the world we currently live in.

In honor of this predicament, this week and this week only (unless I decide to do it next time cause that’s how this stuff rolls in 2012…uh, don’t worry, I won’t) we present a mash up of the nonsense for the week ending March 23rd  .  At least as it looks from the seat of a chair, which can be cushy or hard, depending on what’s happening and to whom (who?).

Television encores: “Mad Men” returns and “Smash” is renewed.

Hello gorgeous

Does one counter the other?  I’m not so sure. The NY Times on Friday gave what we consider an unfair review of the first “Mad Men” of the new season – noting that because it has spawned so many 60s nostalgia themed spin-offs, there is no irony left when filmmakers show “an adult smoking a cigarette with one hand and holding a baby in the other.” Like many reviewers and non-fans, this critic misses the point.  No great film or TV show is ever really about the time period.  That is just the window dressing.  It is always how interested you are in the characters and what they, and they alone, uniquely do in said time period.  The challenge of TV is keeping the people and situations interesting through season after season – a whole other story in itself.  Oh, and in actuality it is that very FAMILIARITY with characters and their world/era that make people want to watch and commit to a television series.   You can wear out your welcome if you don’t come up with engaging twists and turns and new and bizarre crises but you want to also feel you can depend on – something.  Therefore, the verdict is out for me if that is the case with the new season of “Mad Men” because

  •  a. I have not yet seen the first episode of the best-written show on television. (It is – deal with it)
  • b. Past seasons have all managed to work their magic in strange and even more surprising and unusual ways than the one before (“Past as prologue” – as the NY Times writer so wisely pointed out in her review) and
  • c.    Cultural critics love to diss critical darlings after a certain point in time because it’s just more fun to write diss than bliss  (as I can attest from my past, present and obviously future life as a vociferous cultural vulture).

Bottom line: Don’t assume that because something is familiar it’s growing tiresome.  If that were the case there would be no happy long-term relationships.  Which there are.  Again, you’re gonna have to trust me on that one.

Oh, right  -– I forgot about “Smash.”  Uh, it was renewed for a second season.

They're multiplying

Yes.  It was.

Despite the fact that It

  • a.  Loses a lot of its audience from the number one show in the U.S., “The Voice.”
  • b.  It’s expensive to make and
  • c.  It’s a string of soapy clichéd clichés.

But NBC needs a hit and the show’s idea was the brainchild of Steven Spielberg, the King of All Entertainment, who also serves as executive producer.  Enuf said.  Because still, I don’t want to criticize a show where you get to hear Bernadette Peters do a song from “Gypsy” or any number of real Broadway performers do their thing on national TV.  No gay man in his right mind would do that because you would run the risk of getting barred from what is said to be the upcoming movie version of “Gyspy,” starring Barbra Stresiand currently being written by “Downton Abbey”’s Julian Fellows.  Yes, I’m fickle.

Interent killed the newspaper star:  Variety is for sale.

This might not seem like a big deal to you but it is to me because – well, being a Variety reporter was my first real journalism job out of college.  Once known as the “Bible of Show Business,”  Variety  has seen its audience erode due to 24/7 news and competition from the snarkiest entertainment blogs known to man and has been officially and publicly put on the market by its parent company of the last few decades, Reed Business.  Variety was founded just past the turn of the century by the Silverman family, who owned the paper when I worked there (some years past the turn of the century).  Like most mom and pop businesses, they eventually gave into the corporate giants chasing them, and said corporate giants eventually found or find themselves in the familiar position of shedding their once valuable asset due to the “changing times.”  Bob Dylan once wrote in the 60s, “the times they are a changing.’” This was seen as both a good and bad thing.  But I’m just not sure which is the case here.

Hooded Racism: Trayvon Martin

A 17-year-old Black youth named Trayvon Martin was apparently gunned down in central Florida this week by a man on Neighborhood Watch who was suspicious of the young dark-skinned man in a hoodie and on the phone with his girlfriend who, it turned out, was armed with nothing more than a pack of Skittles and some iced tea.  There is a 911 phone recording where the Neighborhood Watch guy clearly calls the deceased a racial epithet.  There is also a strict Florida law that allows those feeling in danger and in the presence of a potential criminal to stand their ground and defend themselves.  Among all of this, aspiring Republican presidential nominee Rick Santorum campaigned at a shooting range the next day and when the former senator cocked his gun and began gunning down a paper target of a man, a random woman from the crowd yelled “pretend it’s Obama.”  At best, these are indeed very confusing times, as Dylan implied.   At worst, well – you can fill in the blank.

Sugar Rush or Toothache? Food Network’s Sweet Genius

“Sweet Genius,”  a TV show where four dessert makers endure three grueling tests of their chocolate, baking and candy-making skill under the critical eye of host Ron Ben Israel – a dessert mogul who looks like Dr. Evil, talks like a Bond villain, and presides over the festivities in a set that resembles the underground lair of Willy Wonka’s evil twin — returned to the air after a too long absence.  Yes, I watch this crap because it’s fun.  But not as much fun as it was last season.  The show was a surprising limited hit over six episodes and the network has had time to think about it and in its full season two decided to make its host less demanding, less dictatorial and the show much less weird (e.g. they eliminated the odd computer voice that ominously analyzed the water and salt content of each food on a conveyor belt).  In other words, they’ve done what most film and TV production company’s like to do – round out the edges to appeal to the greatest number of people, therefore losing the very reason people loved the “asset” to begin with.  By the way, my TV writing student Alyssa makes much better cupcakes for class each week than any dessert I’ve seen on the show this year and she covers the cost of her own ingredients.  Just sayin’.

My Tribute to the Hunger Games

Girl's got range

The biggest thing in the movies this weekend is “The Hunger Games” and I assigned it to all the film writing students to see because you can’t ignore a cultural phenomenon if you want to be in the biz. I told them they need to go in with an open mind and open heart because no one sets out to make a bad movie.  However, and this is just between you and me – the film looks deadly dull and hopelessly overproduced with elements and themes from about five different movies I saw in the 1970s when I was in college.   This is not the attitude I want to pass on and I can only hope that I will be pleasantly surprised at the theatre when my (somewhat) open mind is fully expanded to a higher state of love and acceptance.  But I seriously doubt it.

One Final Note from Ms. Houston

Whitney Houston had cocaine in her system at her time of death, and it was revealed in an autopsy that the cause of death was drowning (in her bathtub).  Ms. Houston  also had marijuana, alcohol, Xanax and a muscle relaxer in her system. Still, most of us secretly believe that fame, fortune and a little bit of exceptional superhuman talent at something are the holy grail answers to pretty much all of our problems and most likely everything else.

Hottest Inmate: Clooney swoons even in jail

George Clooney got arrested for demonstrating about atrocities in the Sudan.  He paid a fine and is out on the street once again as he continues humanitarian work while earning gazllions of dollars making pretty much any movie he wants.  Fame, fortune and talent are not necessarily a bad thing and perhaps can mix well – depending on how the mixing is done and by whom.  I’m being serious here.

Flour Power: Kim K’s unfortunate encounter

cleanup on aisle 3

Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian was flour bombed.  (I’m now joking but this is true).  Definition of Flour bombed?  This means you’re walking the red carpet wearing a dark-colored designer outfit and someone dumps a bag of white flour on your head and your ultra chic suit.  If you have dark hair, this is even more spectacular because of the color contrast, as it was here.  Said Kim “bomber” was arrested but Kim isn’t pressing charges.  Do not take this as a defense of Kim’s legitimacy or evidence that I consider her a talent of any kind.  Or want to analyze her fame or fortune quotient, which are obviously quite higher than mine.

A Flashy Girl from Flushing

I drive down the famed Sunset Strip on Sunset Blvd. in West Hollywood and keep seeing a larger than life Billboard of Fran Drescher with the ad line, “The Mouth is back,” and the title of her second season TV Land  comedy – “Happily Divorced,” about a woman who was married to her high school sweetheart for years only to recently find out he was gay.  But they’re divorced and they’re still close friends.  Yes, this is based on Fran’s real life and Fran and I, we share a lot.  She’s from Flushing, Queens as I am.  She’s Jewish, as I am.  Her ex-husband is gay, as am I.  We’re also roughly the same age and I found her hilarious on “The Nanny,” as I’m sure she found herself too.  Then, why, oh why, couldn’t I laugh even once at her new show???  Also, I wonder — does this mean my shtick is tiring for people who have been in my life for decades and are much like me?  Am I boring everyone around me, physically and virtually, even my readers?  How do you know when you’re dull, boring and beside the point?  I worry about this and vow to do better not only with my talents but with limited fame and fortune.  But for now, well, can I just have a cupcake?

Resolutions

A resolution is either an ending or a beginning.  The generally accepted idea of a situation being resolved would mean that it is brought to some sort of conclusion – at least in the eye of the resolver.  As with anything, of course, this depends on what side of the argument you’re on.

For example:

The political liberal in me refuses to believe the US presidential election of George W. Bush in 2000 was ever resolved despite the highest court in the US, the Supreme Court, having declared that the issue has, indeed, ended.   Uh, uh.  I don’t think so.  He wasn’t president for eight years.  Sorry.

As for the movies, for me there has never been a resolve (and never will be) to the Oscar race for best picture in 1994.  Oh sure, the Academy resolved that race years ago for itself and proclaimed that “Forrest Gump” was the winner.  But that’s simply impossible because that film annoyed me to no resolution; plus, it was also the year of “The Shawshank Redemption” (a perfect film), “Four Weddings and a Funeral,” “Bullets Over Broadway” and even “Pulp Fiction” – all movies that will endure waaay more favorably in my mind long after the aforementioned “best” picture.  Yes, even though that, uh, “best” picture was this week chosen as one of three films by the Library of Congress in 2011 to be preserved in PERPETUITY in our National Film Registry (along with “Silence of the Lambs” and Bambi” – last time you hear those three mentioned in one sentence) because of its outstanding artistic achievement.  B. F. D.  Something or someone willing itself or themselves into worldwide acclaim despite its obvious inferiority and unlikelihood (like in the plot of some Hollywood movie) is still faaaaar from resolved for me.  I mean, nothing like that could ever happen in real life.  Not really.

Life is not a box of chocolates.

The one resolution I can agree to in my current state of mind is the fact that 2011 is fading into distant memory and 2012 is now forging its way into the spotlight.  This transformation to center stage – sort of like Madonna slowly getting the torch pried out of her hand and passed to Lady Gaga or, well, cable TV consistently besting the networks for awards/prestige for dramatic television for shows like “Mad Men,” “Homeland” and Breaking Bad” despite the top four trying desperately to compete with them with new shows like “The Playboy Club,” “Pan Am” and “Charlie’s Angels” (Okay, I know I’m being unfair, but besides “The Good Wife,” which I’m a bit tired of everyone holding up as the reason why all network dramas are as good as those on cable, what are their big award-contenders?) means the start of something new. Like a new year.

Hurry up 2012! The wait is agony...

The start of a new year also ushers in a long-standing tradition of making resolutions for the upcoming 12- month period that we will name 2012.  How did this tradition start?  You got me.  I scoured the internet for at least half an hour and asked numerous people I know (okay, four) about this and the best I can come up with is that this has been going on since ancient Roman times and that Kings and kingdoms have forever been thinking up stuff they will resolve to do.  Stuff that they want to achieve (like reversing the 1994 best picture winner or simply letting it go); or would like to not put off (like putting all my files in order and throwing out that second or third draft of a screenplay so old that its not on a computer disk, but one that I still, you know, might need); or even stuff they hope to achieve (aside from world peace, which is too lofty for one person to work on but certainly an admirable idea) or at least shoot for in the new year.

I actually like this last one – the one about jotting down some ideas of things you want to do.  Most writers I know, including myself, hate schedules and deadlines yet I will publicly admit here that having an idea of what you want to accomplish and giving yourself a time frame in which to achieve it, can do wonders for your output.  The trick to it is – and it’s tricky – to come up with a list that will take some work on your part, and yet, is remotely achievable – if you push yourself.

I’m not going to bore you with my short list.  I’m tempted but, well…okay…you twisted my arm.

The Chair’s Resolutions

  1. Continue writing this blog and expanding it.  Yes, it’s in the works even as we speak.  I hope you like that idea.  But even if you don’t it doesn’t matter because resolutions are really only for the resolver. And besides, I might win you over.  You never know.
  2. Write and direct (oy, on the latter) my first film (a short film) because that is achievable but also a stretch – something that a good resolution certainly requires.  Also, it will allow the writer me to blame no one else but myself for the final result – which will be a welcome change for some of my friends and from some of my past behaviors.
  3. Read all of the backlog of scripts I’ve promised everyone (other writers) I would read.  See, I always plan to read these scripts quickly and then things get in the way.  Like, uh, making that list of resolutions.  But I do not agree to read things I don’t plan on reading.  I just get backlogged.   With resolutions.
  4. Continue to try to inject humor into most everything but resist the temptation to be overly snide and bitchy because, well, sometimes that’s just plain mean (save for “Forrest Gump.” That “achievement in film artistry” can certainly take it.  And if that’s too bitchy, well, too bad, it’s still 2011).
  5. Try to be more tolerant of things I dislike but not so tolerant that it dries up all subject matter, sentence structure and P.O.V moments I have on the page because as I’ve said before – if it’s “all good,” is everything fine?  Even Rick Santorum and Sarah Palin?  Uh, I don’t think so.  I’m not that nice, not that humorous, and certainly not so devoid of resolve that I will ignore my inner (mini?) me.   Plus, I have a significant number of politically conservative students I adore and want to be open to – AND vice-versa.  (Note:  This does fall short of liberal academia brainwashing but far exceeds what would one get in home schooling or in any one episode of The Duggars TV show, “19 Kids and Counting.”  Which, by the way, is still on the air – though not on any of the big 4 networks.

Okay, I’ve listed my resolutions.  What are yours?  List them in the comments.

Yes, we all make (or have made) fun of the idiots who do make these lists and convince themselves that they will actually follow through with what they plan.  Of course, we are all idiots from time to time and even more often than that.  And — as they say on the wall of idiot clichés – or perhaps in one of the new movies on the National Film Registry – even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Happy 2012 everyone.

Peace and Love (cause I’m a sixties guy at heart).

And as such — I   love you  hate you   accept you “Forrest Gump.”  Though we are far from resolved.