That just sucks, right? Is there anything he can’t do?
Well, maybe he’s a jerk.
A dear friend of mine was at an event a few years ago and approached TM (Note: Even his initials personify relaxed ease.) for a selfie because her teenager daughter had a massive crush on him and the photograph would make her year.
Yes, he obliged.
But not only that, he impishly followed it with:
Let’s call her!
At which point, the number was dialed, he got on the phone and they had a fun, cool and sassy conversation.
What’s next? Well, he doesn’t have an Oscar. Yet.
That is if you don’t count the Oscar that was stolen from him for his utterly raw and original performance in Call Me By Your Name by Gary Oldman for his mumbly, blustery portrayal of some weird version of Winston Churchill in the somewhat forgettable The Darkest Hour.
But that’s only my opinion.
Which is really the point.
See, I recount all of this not to anoint TM as any kind of creative Messiah, modern day personal deity, or even an individual incapable of having a bad day and being a jerk.
I mean, given the demands of being an A-list actor, he likely is not ideal relationship material (Note: Don’t worry, I have no stories).
Instead, I merely bring it up to state that the only way to happiness and success is:
You do you.
It may sound snide and corny but, sadly, so are a lot of phrases that are… true.
Don’t worry about how well Timmy or any of your other more successful than you friends and peers are doing.
It’s not a race, despite all appearances to the contrary in everything you see, hear and read.
We Americans in particular, and I unfortunately count myself among them, can’t resist a good competition. And we loooooove a scoreboard. Because it means in those moments we are out in front, everyone else is a looooooooooser.
But if you subscribe to that kind of logic the reverse is true. You’re a loser the moment you’re not in the #1 position out in front.
Which, if you consider all of the categories in life under which you could be rated, is most of the time.
The real task now is what do you do with the time at hand? Well —
What do you like to do? What are you good at? Who do you want to be around? Who makes you laugh? What do you want to get better at? Who believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself? And —
Who is smarter, more talented or simply wiser than you?
Go find those people, in whatever form they are available to you, and figure out what you can learn from them. Ask them questions, if possible. Better yet, ask yourself questions and then try to figure out the answers.
And here’s a hint: You likely won’t find the answers sitting alone in your room.
No one, not anyone, does life alone. That’s not the way it works. You need a core group of those you can trust, learn from and be your nutty self with. That’s how you get ahead and that’s how you discover and hone your talents.
I was watching Rainn Wilson, the Emmy award nominated actor from The Office, being interviewed while promoting his Peacock documentary series, Rainn Wilson and the Geography of Bliss.
Admitting he suffers from lifelong anxiety and depression that has taken him down some dark roads, the effort takes him around the world seeking to figure out the answer to happiness.
Spoiler alert: There is none.
But the one thing he noted that happy people have in common are that they are part of a community.
Yes, I rolled my eyes too. And I’m many decades past graduation. Until I realized that community doesn’t necessarily mean being a member of a church, community organization, political party or even your traditional family.
What it means is compiling your own group that helps to support you, advise you, tell you the truth, see you and yeah, love you.
Slow teardrop. (Note: Snide).
And know, none of this has to be said. You just feel it. (Note: Corny).
That’s the road to dealing with the world and achieving what you want. Which is not the necessarily the same thing as what you think it is right now.
Though it could be.
Yeah, you’re gonna make a ton of mistakes. You will hurt people you don’t mean to and be a real asshole to them and others at times.
Mistakes of all kinds are inevitable, messy and…welcome. Don’t beat yourself up for them.
Just do better.
Your crap and the crap will never end but neither does the good stuff. Focus on the latter and keep moving forward.
Decades of working inside and outside, around and through the entertainment industry has taught me one thing:
NO ONE can reliably predict the Oscar winners each year.
Oh sure, the odd person can get lucky every once in a while and ace the whole thing, even the bonus questions in your local online poll. But maintaining that accuracy every year would mean there is some secret formula to understanding Hollywood.
Trust me, there isn’t.
The only secret is that, at the end of the day, there is no secret.
That’s because Hollywood is more of an idea than a location with an overriding opinion. And that’s coming from someone like me who actually lives IN Hollywood.
Oh.. and about my Oscar party
Oh there are lots of opinions here, too many, but there is no guiding principal to any one school of thinking when it comes to awards.
Not money, not artistic merit. Not dues-paying, good looks or familial connections.
Any one or two or three of those can help but they are no guarantee of anything.
Hollywood is more a state of mind in a particular moment where someone with power makes a decision based on – well – an opinion. Put 6000 or so of those together and what comes out are the annual list of Oscar winners – about as elusive of figuring in advance as receiving the shiny gold plated 8 ½ lb. statuette itself. (Note: And a mere 13.5 inches high. Though it does FEEL taller and HEAVIER in person).
Are you saying size doesn’t matter?
So, in that spirit, let’s get started on an online cheat sheet that can maybe help you gain an edge in the categories where you have doubts. (Note: The kind word for that is a consensus of informed opinions. The cynical one: guesswork). We’ll also include the Chair Choice (what we would vote for among the list of nominees) because…well….we want to and we can.
Who’s it gonna be?
Call Me by Your Name
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Winner: The Shape of Water
Chair Choice: Lady Bird
The toughest category this year. The Shape of Water is singularly the most original and yet the one that most reflects the best of the mainstream movie industry as it now stands in that it combines dazzling visual effects with an emotional story. A case can be made for Three Billboards but its odds are a bit lowered since it received no director nomination. Sadly, we haven’t gotten to the cultural moment where a gay love story like Call Me By Your Name, beautiful as it is, could win best film. Some think we will hit a different cultural moment with Get Out but I don’t think so – The Shape of Water is probably the safer genre choice – not to mention the better film. As for Chair Choice, try making a truly great coming-of-age movie (aka Lady Bird) in the age of cynicism and see how far you get.
Elio… Oliver… Sigh
Timothée Chalamet, Call Me by Your Name
Daniel Day-Lewis, Phantom Thread
Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out
Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour
Denzel Washington, Roman J. Israel, Esq.
Winner: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name
Chair Choice: Timothée Chalamet, Call Me By Your Name
Yup, you read right. We’re going far out on a limb here because Gary Oldman is the odds-on favorite. But Chalamet’s performance was so unusual, raw and riveting for even those most cynical about his film, that it just feels like he could be rewarded. Also, there are three words in his favor – the crying scene. Yes, the Oldman/Churchill turn was hard to turn away from – for SO many reasons. And he did win the SAG Award, a good predictor here since the actors are the largest voting branch. It doesn’t matter. We’re NOT going with the favorite here. EVER.
Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water
Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Margot Robbie, I, Tonya
Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird
Meryl Streep, The Post
Winner: Frances McDormand, Three Billboards
Chair Choice: Saioirse Ronan, Lady Bird
Seriously, FM is gonna win. Though we prefer Saioirse Ronan’s feat of so many colors in Lady Bird the idea of hearing a McDormand acceptance speech televised LIVE internationally to tens of millions of people is just too tempting not to simultaneously root for.
Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project
Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Richard Jenkins, The Shape of Water
Christopher Plummer, All the Money in the World
Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Winner: Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards
Chair Choice: Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards
It’s Sam Rockwell’s year. He’s a character actor everyone in the industry respects and it’s the kind of emotionally showy performance that wins supporting acting awards. Many of us have issues with the film (ahem, the performances, the tone and even the writing), but there is something about Rockwell’s work here that ultimately rises above the naysaying. Perhaps…talent?
Lady (with a) Bird
Mary J. Blige, Mudbound
Allison Janney, I, Tonya
Lesley Manville, Phantom Thread
Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
Octavia Spencer, The Shape of Water
Winner: Allison Janney, I Tonya
Chair Choice: Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird
This will be the most UNJUST award of the evening. Allison Janney, an often brilliant actress, will win for an over-the-top turn in an over-the-top film despite Laurie Metcalf being nothing short of brilliant as the hate her/love her Mom in Lady Bird. There were literal scenes with that fictional mother that I actually recall living through as a teenager in 197___. Now how can that be????
Christopher Nolan, Dunkirk
Jordan Peele, Get Out
Greta Gerwig, Lady Bird
Paul Thomas Anderson, Phantom Thread
Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
Winner & Chair Choice: Guillermo del Toro, The Shape of Water
He’s going to win. Del Toro was innovative, unusual and Hollywood. It’s not Nolan’s year. Give it up.
The Boss Baby, Tom McGrath, Ramsey Ann Naito
The Breadwinner, Nora Twomey, Anthony Leo
Coco, Lee Unkrich, Darla K. Anderson
Ferdinand, Carlos Saldanha
Loving Vincent, Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman, Sean Bobbitt, Ivan Mactaggart, Hugh Welchman
Winner & Chair Choice: Coco
It’s a sure thing. Nothing to discuss.
Kobe’s got it
Dear Basketball, Glen Keane, Kobe Bryant
Garden Party, Victor Caire, Gabriel Grapperon
Lou, Dave Mullins, Dana Murray
Negative Space, Max Porter, Ru Kuwahata
Revolting Rhymes, Jakob Schuh, Jan Lachauer
Winner: Dear Basketball
Chair Choice: Lou
I’ve actually seen all of these. Not being a sports fan, I guess I didn’t at all get Dear Basketball. But watching a drawing of a young would-be Kobe Bryant acting to the words spoken by the actual Kobe Bryant of what basketball meant to him in a film produced by the real Kobe Bryant has gotten to ALMOST everyone who wants to see the live Kobe Bryant accept an Oscar in the flesh. I myself prefer Pixar’s Lou, the story of how and why a young bully gets reformed because I guess I’m still working through my childhood issues.
Can I just say.. SIGH… again
Call Me by Your Name, James Ivory
The Disaster Artist, Scott Neustadter & Michael H. Weber
Logan, Scott Frank & James Mangold and Michael Green
Molly’s Game, Aaron Sorkin
Mudbound, Virgil Williams and Dee Rees
Winner & Chair Choice: Call Me By Your Name, James Ivory
It’s the very definition of brilliant screen adaptation of a novel that was made into one of the most unique films of the year. Plus, it was written by the guy who directed and produced such classic movies as Howard’s End, Remains of The Day, and Maurice. James Ivory has never won an Oscar, was robbed off it too many times to count and is now 89 years old. You do the math.
The Academy’s cup of tea
The Big Sick, Emily V. Gordon & Kumail Nanjiani
Get Out, Jordan Peele
Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig
The Shape of Water, Guillermo del Toro, Vanessa Taylor
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Martin McDonagh
Winner: Get Out, Jordan Peele
Chair Choice: Lady Bird, Greta Gerwig
The idea for Get Out is brilliant, as is the script and film that everyone is writing about. Sadly, that’s not the film I saw – at an actual movie theatre early on – and not at a screening and not on DVD. But the screenplay for the movie that’s getting talked about is the one that I WANT to see. Still, who cares what I think? Certainly, not anyone in the Academy. So we’ll just sit home and sulk, knowing Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird was the far more accomplished and nuanced achievement in storytelling.
Is it his time?
Blade Runner 2049, Roger Deakins
Darkest Hour, Bruno Delbonnel
Dunkirk, Hoyte van Hoytema
Mudbound, Rachel Morrison
The Shape of Water, Dan Laustsen
Winner & Chair Choice: Blade Runner 2049, Roger Deakins
This is Roger Deakins’ FOURTEENTH nomination for best cinematography WITHOUT A WIN. While it is possible the brilliant work in Mudbound or The Shape of Water or Dunkirk could win, we won’t be responsible for it.
Best Documentary Feature
Abacus: Small Enough to Jail, Steve James, Mark Mitten, Julie Goldman
Faces Places, JR, Agnès Varda, Rosalie Varda
Icarus, Bryan Fogel, Dan Cogan
Last Men in Aleppo, Feras Fayyad, Kareem Abeed, Soren Steen Jepersen
Strong Island, Yance Ford, Joslyn Barnes
Winner & Chair Choice: Last Men In Aleppo
It was near impossible to get through. Can you imagine making it? To do that you’d have to slog through thousands of dead bodies in Syria, side by side with the ordinary citizens of Syria, searching for survivors, and then relive it all again and again and again in the editing. For bringing the unendurable and unimaginable into the light, this one should and will win.
Winner & Chair Choice: Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405, Frank Stiefel
I saw all of these. A lot of wonderful stories but nothing has stayed with me like Heaven is a Traffic Jam on the 405. You MUST watch this woman’s story. Then think about art. And what it means to survive. That’s all we’ll say.
Best Live Action Short Film
DeKalb Elementary, Reed Van Dyk
The Eleven O’Clock, Derin Seale, Josh Lawson
My Nephew Emmett, Kevin Wilson, Jr.
The Silent Child, Chris Overton, Rachel Shenton
Watu Wote/All of Us, Katja Benrath, Tobias Rosen
Winner & Chair Choice: DeKalb Elementary, Reed Van Dyk
After watching these DeKalb Elementary left me speechless, even though I had read all about the real story it is based on right after it happened. And that was prior to the recent school shooting that killed 17 people in Parkland, FL, which happened just prior to the date Academy’s final voting ballots were due.
Best Foreign Language Film
A Fantastic Woman (Chile)
The Insult (Lebanon)
On Body and Soul (Hungary)
The Square (Sweden)
Winner & Chair Choice: A Fantastic Woman (Chile)
This is a guess based on speaking to people and the one film in the bunch I experienced. That film, A Fantastic Woman was a slow build around a trans actress who always appeared to be living, and not acting, a trans woman not unlike herself onscreen. It’s the likely winner.
Baby Driver, Jonathan Amos, Paul Machliss
Dunkirk, Lee Smith
I, Tonya, Tatiana S. Riegel
The Shape of Water, Sidney Wolinsky
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Jon Gregory
Winner: Dunkirk, Lee Smith
Chair Choice: Baby Driver, Jonathan Amos, Paul Machliss
It’s hard to understand how a movie that many of us couldn’t follow could win the Oscar for editing. Isn’t coherence part of good editing? Isn’t that common sense? Of course, in Oscar polls and award giving, sense is not always the ultimate deciding factor, common or not. And who are we to talk when we’re advocating for a movie starring Kevin Spacey?
you guessed it
Baby Driver, Julian Slater
Blade Runner 2049, Mark Mangini, Theo Green
Dunkirk, Alex Gibson, Richard King
The Shape of Water, Nathan Robitaille, Nelson Ferreira
Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Ren Klyce, Matthew Wood
Winner & Chair Choice: Dunkirk, Alex Gibson, Richard King
It’s the only thing I liked in the film. I don’t care what you think.
one more time!
BabyDriver, Mary H. Ellis, Julian Slater, Tim Cavagin
Blade Runner 2049, Mac Ruth, Ron Bartlett, Doug Hephill
Dunkirk, Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker, Gary A. Rizzo
The Shape of Water, Glen Gauthier, Christian Cooke, Brad Zoern
Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Stuart Wilson, Ren Klyce, David Parker, Michae l Semanick
Winner & Chair Choice: Dunkirk, Mark Weingarten, Gregg Landaker, Gary A. Rizzo
See above. And I still don’t care. At all.
I preferred the fish man
Beauty and the Beast, Sarah Greenwood; Katie Spencer
Blade Runner 2049, Dennis Gassner, Alessandra Querzola
Darkest Hour, Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer
Dunkirk, Nathan Crowley, Gary Fettis
The Shape of Water, Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin, Shane Vieau
Winner: Blade Runner 2049, Dennis Gassner, Alessandra Querzola
Chair Choice: The Shape of Water, Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin, Shane Vieau
One of my dearest friends is a big time production designer and he says it’s Blade Runner. I, myself, loved the fish man, the marquee lights and the largest bathroom a tenement building has ever seen in The Shape of Water.
Dunkirk, Hans Zimmer
Phantom Thread, Jonny Greenwood
The Shape of Water, Alexandre Desplat
Star Wars: The Last Jedi, John Williams
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, Carter Burwell
Winner: The Shape of Water, Alexandre Desplat
Chair Choice: Phantom Thread, Jonny Greenwood
The score for The Shape of Water was wonderful but The Phantom Thread score was brilliant and made it the movie it was. Either could win but the edge goes to the fish man.
“Mighty River” from Mudbound, Mary J. Blige
“Mystery of Love” from Call Me by Your Name, Sufjan Stevens
“Remember Me” from Coco, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, Robert Lopez
“Stand Up for Something” from Marshall, Diane Warren, Common
“This Is Me” from The Greatest Showman, Benj Pasek, Justin Paul
Winner & Chair Choice: “Remember Me” from Coco
This song provided THE central motif of the movie. That’s what the best original song is supposed to do. Plus, it’s a good song. Okay, perhaps not as memorable as such other Oscar winners as “(The Theme from) Shaft” but you can’t have everything.
Makeup and Hair
Darkest Hour, Kazuhiro Tsuji, David Malinowski, Lucy Sibbick
Victoria and Abdul, Daniel Phillips and Lou Sheppard
Wonder, Arjen Tuiten
Winner: The Darkest Hour
Chair Choice: Either of the other two.
The latex, the bald cap and the insistence that this was a HISTORICAL CHARACTER and we have to get CHURCHILL right!! Lawd.
I see you
Beauty and the Beast, Jacqueline Durran
Darkest Hour, Jacqueline Durran
Phantom Thread, Mark Bridges
The Shape of Water, Luis Sequeira
Victoria and Abdul, Consolata Boyle
Winner & Chair Choice: Phantom Thread, Mark Bridges
Phantom Thread is a movie about a CLOTHING DESIGNER and it received SIX nominations. Get it? Not to take anything away from the accuracy and beauty of its costumes or some of the other nominees. But this is another sure thing.
Blade Runner 2049, John Nelson, Paul Lambert, Richard R. Hoover, Gerd Nefzer
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Christopher Townsend, Guy Williams, Jonathan Fawkner, Dan Sudick
Kong: Skull Island, Stephen Rosenbaum, Jeff White, Scott Benza, Mike Meinardus
Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Ben Morris, Mike Mulholland, Chris Corbould, Neal Scanlan
War for the Planet of the Apes, Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, Daniel Barrett, Joel Whist
Winner & Chair Choice: War for the Planet of the Apes, Joe Letteri, Dan Lemmon, Daniel Barrett, Joel Whist
Things have come a long way since the original Planet of the Apes – at least visual effects-wise. The CG apes, the real apes – who knew? Still, it’s a crime the Fish Man in Shape of Water will go unrecognized – and went un-nominated.