Jail – notes from a chair

The Chair is a loyal family member and friend, a devoted educator and a writer who tries, though does not always succeed, to see all sides of an issue in his work.

But the Chair is tired of being nice and taking the high road.

Aren’t you?

I know many of you are because I received countless (Note: Okay, more than a dozen) gleeful, hopeful and prayerful messages this week that the indictment of Donald Trump means that he is finally going to be held responsible for his countless crimes against — HUMANITY!

Oh, of course not humanity.

It’s just for things like falsifying his business records while paying hush money to a porn star and then lying about it everywhere he saw fit.

My friends worry that this case isn’t important enough or strong enough to get him. They call me to assuage their worries about things like that, though I can’t imagine why.

But I tell them to think of this indictment as an appetizer to a four or five course meal.

Or maybe simply a palate cleanser before the real meal begins.

There is so much to look forward to: vote tampering, perjury, illegal possession of government documents, inciting an insurrection against the US government, cooking the books of your real estate business and pilfering multimillions of dollars to bolster a fortune you overestimate or underestimate to the IRS, depending on the day and what benefits you – though not necessarily in that order.

One supposes crimes against humanity could eventually be on that much longer list once the last rock is turned over and the last orange-hued cockroach is forced from its hiding place. But who knows? By that time we might be onto something else and he just might not be available for us to kick around anymore.

And no, I’m not suggesting or threatening anyone! And if I were, I certainly wouldn’t do it in writing. And I definitely wouldn’t do it in public.

Unlike some people.

This is more than I can say for scores of the friends, relatives, acquaintances and strangers that have crossed my path over the last eight years.

Ever since Trump floated the idea of running for president, and right around the time he spread the false story that Pres. Obama, our first Black president, wasn’t born in this country, the seemingly nicest people in the world I’ve known and/or never met until that moment, have wished him death and fates worse than that.

And quite often, they’ve felt a bit guilty about it.

I might not have learned a lot in therapy but one thing I’ve realized is that guilt is a wasted emotion unless it serves to suppress some abhorrent action.

Meaning that wishing someone a slow and painful torturous existence, or even death, is not the same as killing him/her/them or spending your time making sure they suffer in all kinds of imaginable and unimaginable ways.

In fact, it might even be healthy to wish all of those things on someone you loathe in the midst of a bile-filled tantrum of your choice, provided you don’t act on it.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me…after all.

Despite the fact that name-calling is a well-known, and guiltless, international Trumpian pastime.

This is why I also tell everyone that crosses my path who feels the need to confess that they have never wished any one person this much particular evil to… have at it!!

I do this because I know it’s healthy to vent but mostly due to the fact that after all these years I get they are far, far, FAR from ALONE.

I would include myself on this list of people.

In my entire life, which is at this point is much longer than hypochondriacal me ever thought it would be in my younger years, I have never encountered a single public or private figure who has ever elicited so much bile from me and from so many others on such an unrelenting, and almost daily, basis.

It rivals the meanest mean girl (or guy) I knew in high school and brings to mind what came out of the mouth of the angriest and most egregious middle school complainer in the world.

Okay, the latter could even be me on certain days. But still –

Rather than squash the instinct and provoke self-induced heart attacks or binge drinking, I want to let everyone know, and all those I don’t know, that — IT’S OKAY.

Yell, gloat and say what you will in the privacy of your own home (Note: Or in selected public places to pre-screened selected audiences).

It doesn’t make you a bad person.

Not to mention, whatever you are thinking or saying, we’ve all likely thought worse. And in my case, A LOT worse.

This begs the question of what he’s likely thinking and saying in regards to the likes of you and your kind – presently or in the past. Or even future.

But the difference between him and us is that we don’t act out or act on those thoughts. We’re in no danger of getting indicted for them because they’re not crimes.

Most certainly, they’re not crimes against humanity.

Which is more than I can say for….

Well, now I don’t even really need to say it.

“Bad Things” – Machine Gun Kelly & Camila Cabello

This will be brief.

Kim Davis, the county clerk from Kentucky who went to jail for contempt of court rather than to do what her job required her to do – issue marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples that bear her name and job title – was released from jail on Tuesday. To a big crowd of supporters waving large white crosses and chanting hymns. And in the presence of both her lawyer and the potential Republican presidential candidate and former AK Gov. Mike Huckabee. The latter could be seen standing behind Ms. Davis, lightly touching her shoulder periodically as she stood next to her attorney, lest anyone not be entirely sure of his unyielding support.

Oh, and this was all done as Eye of the Tiger played in the background.

What a world we live in.

I watched this late Tuesday morning from the chair in my dentist’s office as he was preparing to finish doing a root canal on a badly infected tooth I came in with last week. My dentist, whose family is from the Middle East and who has a Muslim background, was too busy taking care of his two Jewish patients – myself and the woman who came in right after me – to notice what CNN was broadcasting. When I brought it to his attention he shook his head in disgust and said, you know this is all the same – Christians, Muslims, Jews all have these reactionary people who think they have the answer and have the right to dictate to everyone else.

I’ve heard my dentist’s thoughts uttered many times – by ME (not only a Jew but a gay Jew to boot). I have the sense that the straight Jewish woman in the next room – with whom I exchanged eyeglass stories with only minutes before – has also spoken similarly. As have numerous observant Christian friends of mine (Note: Imagine that, I actually have some observant Christian friends). Not to mention a few Conservative people I know and like who have gone out of their way to say this kind of stuff to me – lest I think even for a second they’re buying the nonsense Ms. Davis and Mr. Huckabee are peddling.

Can’t fight the facts Ms. Davis

This fight is not about religious freedom, try as they might to make it so. It is about an obstinate, publicity-seeking woman whose archaic point of view has been marginalized to the point of being irrelevant to the more inclusive changing tides of American society. This, of course, is being shrouded in knee-jerk reactionary rhetoric by Ms. Davis, her like-minded, dwindling minority of compatriots and political opportunists like Mr. Huckabee and current Texas senator and otherwise presidential candidate Ted Cruz. (Note: He was also at Ms. Davis’ rally but was iced out of her nuclear family photo-op circle by Mr. Huckabee’s advance team).

I know I’m on the winning side of a fight when I find that the views of myself and other liberals – which in this case are as mainstream as a Spielberg movie – coincide with yet a third potential Republican presidential candidate – the quite conservative Carly Fiorina.

I actually contributed money some years ago to the senate race in California for Barbara Boxer just to ensure in my small way that there was no way she could lose to her challenger, Ms. Fiorina – a woman whose views on finance, labor and pretty much everything in the world at large I loathe. Still, anyone can surprise you at any moment and I certainly was surprised when I heard Ms. Fiorina say that Ms. Davis’ issue came down to whether or not she would do the job she was hired to do.

To paraphrase – and this is me taking the ball from Carly – Ms. Davis’ religious beliefs are irrelevant here. Her employer is the government and she was elected as county clerk to uphold government laws. The law of the land is that gays and lesbians are allowed to get married across the U.S., including in her state and district, and thus her office is in charge of issuing marriage licenses to them. These official licenses require the signature of the county clerk so Ms. Davis has two choices – to do her job or not to do her job. If she believes she is unable to fulfill the duties of her office then she needs to find another employer – not sue said employer for requiring her to do what she was hired to do.

Societal laws are fluid and always changing. Presumably, so are we as human beings. This is the nature of life. If Ms. Davis finds this not to be in her nature, this does not make her a courageous warrior in the name of God. It makes her an intransigent, irresponsible bigot who refuses to live in reality and prefers to hold the rest of her state – and country – captive in the name of a false idol. Herself.

notes from a chair

Tag Archives: Jail

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