LA on ICE

Greetings from L.A.  – that burning, trash heap of a city invaded and occupied by illegal aliens and criminals!  A dangerous, hellscape of paid insurrectionists intent on ripping away the fabric of our country!!

The place that I call home.

Well, guess what TACO —

WE LOVE L.A.!!!!

We’re with you Tay!

And thanks to you, now more people than ever, in NOT ONLY the country BUT THE WORLD, love it. 

That’s because this week everyone saw us trying to save democracy by exercising our constitutional right to protest. 

And if the worst you can say about protestors in a city of about 12.5 million is that there were no fatalities and comparatively little violence or vandalism (Note: The worst of the latter being a couple of self-driving Waymo cars being set on fire, something I myself contemplated doing in frustration long before any protest) we’re doing pretty well.

Take that

Especially because it’s not every day you see your home experience a real invasion.  The kind where the federal government sends in masked, unidentified and armed federal agents to infiltrate your neighborhood and arbitrarily grab your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances and fellow citizens off the street, throw them into vans and, for no discernible reason they will articulate, attempt to disappear them into custody, perhaps never to be heard from again.

It’s like some crazy old rich 79-year-old Floridian-transplanted-from-New York’s birthday wish in a pretend game where he’d get to be president of the United States for the next four years and do anything he wants.

Oh….

Ugh x 2000

I know.  It’s not funny.   But it could be because this should all just be some massive American punk move from a gaggle of overprivileged man-boys and mean girls with too much money and time and privilege on their hands.

Oh…

And now I have a migraine

Since Homeland Security’s “invasion” of Southern California earlier in the week, the only real and true invasion going on in any of the many neighborhoods I know includes secret ICE agents joined by 2000 members of the National Guard and 700 fighting-ready U.S. Marines with military weapons, all guarding the federal building downtown and patrolling a few key blocks nearby for no reason other than they were ordered to by a rogue federal government commandeered by a rogue president.

Which is to say nothing of the hundreds of L.A. police and sheriff officers shooting rubber bullets and tear gas bombs downtown on Saturday (6/14), as millions in other cities nationwide symbolically joined us in the No Kings Protest against the democracy-breaking Trump policies.

But let’s back up a little.

It’s been that kind of week

Earlier this week, our current, ahem, POTUS took power over the National Guard from the governor of a state (Note: In this case, California but coming soon to a state near you) for the first time in more than 60 years, a power grab now being fought by California in appeals court and soon likely the U.S. Supreme Court.  A couple days later he topped it off with commanding U.S. (Note: OUR) military troops, the kind trained NOT to keep the peace but to instead be efficient killing machines in places as far off as Fallujah, Kandahar and soon likely…well, you get the idea…into our city to pick off anyone who couldn’t pass for a white Afrikaner farmer. (Note: Let’s just say even I could in a pinch).

Listen up, cuz they fallin’

Meanwhile, here in L.A. hundreds of non-white children and adults are being pulled off the streets from Home Depots, schools, supermarkets, playgrounds and farmlands.  This week the local news was rife with six and eight year olds crying and screaming as a parent was literally dragged away from them as their older teenage sibling, barely managing to hold it together, tried to comfort them.  Then there was the story of the late twenties Black military vet shoved to his knees by one of these uniformed baboons and put in a chokehold because he had the temerity to walk up the steps of the Veteran Administration building downtown to check on his benefits (Note: This was midday and there was no reason NOT to enter the V.A. that day).  Though the one seared into my brain is that of the ICE agents with kerchiefs around their mouths chasing down a Mexican farm worker from the Central Valley through a strawberry patch he was employed to work in.

They sure did

Of course, all this was nothing compared to what happened to the senior United States Senator from my home state of California, Alex Padilla, when he dared to pose a question to U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security, aka ICE Barbie and renowned dog killer, Kristi Noem.   Cosplaying her version of chief immigration enforcer – she, of the petrified plastic surgery face accentuated by plentiful hair extensions and full pageant-style makeup, was telling a series of mistruths that culminated with this ominous threat to anyone thinking of protesting anything she or her agents choose to do in southern California.

“We are NOT going away.  We are staying here to liberate the city from the socialists and the burdensome leadership that this governor and that this mayor have placed on this country and what they have tried to insert into the city.”

She’s a charmer!

At which point OUR senator, the one who was democratically elected, along with our governor and our mayor by me and millions of other Californians, proclaimed from the back of the room as he approached:

 “I’m Senator Alex Padilla. I have questions for the secretary. Because the fact of the matter is …”

At which point he was grabbed by a bunch of agents, dragged out of the room, tackled onto the ground and physically held down by several men on the floor who grabbed his wrists behind his back and handcuffed him in full, proud view of the cameras.  And no, I’m not exaggerating even a little bit.  If you haven’t already, you can view it here.

Here’s the thing about our Senator Padilla.  He’s a graduate of MIT and an engineer, an L.A. native who was put through school by two Mexican immigrant parents – a Dad who worked as a short order cook and a mother who cleaned houses.  A guy who trained as an engineer and could have made a ton of money doing that but instead chose to enter politics in the 1990s because he wanted to give voice to a community of people who didn’t have the education and power to speak for themselves to the powers that be.  A guy who’s soft-spoken, hard-working and extremely well-liked by his Senate colleagues.  Someone who would never think of killing their 14 month old puppy instead of taking the time to train it properly, or ever consider being the public face of a modern-day version of Hitler’s Brownshirts.

If I sound a bit worked up over this it’s because:

  1. I am.  And –

2. While Sen. Padilla was being ICE-handled by Cruella’s goons on Thursday, I was five blocks away sitting in a large room at the L.A. Criminal Court House waiting to be called in for jury duty. 

It didn’t work this time

I can’t say I was shocked when the news alerts about all this popped up in my phone but nevertheless I was taken aback.  That is until another potential juror, a thirtyish woman from Thailand, nervously approached me and tentatively asked if I’d ever been on a jury before.  She was smart, had a cell phone, was conversive in the language but underneath it all looked terrified.  It was as if she felt like if she made one wrong move or gave one wrong answer some masked man out of the corner would emerge out of the shadows and take her away. 

I chalked it up to me just being dramatic (Note: Or as my shrink has said more than once, “inclined to piece things together in order to tell a story.”).  But when we were upstairs, sitting on benches outside the courtroom door to which we’d been assigned, and she requested to sit by me so I could “help guide her” through it, I wasn’t so sure.

Turns out I was right…and then some.

Somehow being right this time didn’t feel this good

Once inside the courtroom, I looked around at about 40 or so of my fellow potential jurors, well more than half of whom were of Mexican, Black, Asian or some other non-white ethnicity – truly an L.A. melting pot — and heard us all verbally answer the judge’s questions about our jobs, previous experience with law enforcement, and prior jury service.  What quickly became abundantly clear to me – storyteller or not – was that the demeanor of every single non-white person ranged from cautious and concerned to absolutely intimidated and frightened.  People stumbled over their words, told stories of police harassment and witnessing violent crime, and expressed outright concern over what constituted a right or wrong answer or whether they’d said  too much or too little.

As for the answers from the majority of us white folks, and the manner in which we gave them, well let’s just say I wish there was a new term for, um, Caucasian privilege, (Note: Did I make one up?) since everything about the term is so profoundly embarrassing and enraging to me.

As it should be to anyone who cares about democracy in 2025 and beyond.  #Resist.

We all had a venti cup that day

Oh, and P.S. – After I confidently said to the defense attorney I’d have no trouble at all with the concept of reasonable doubt in the case potentially before us, one where a woman of color was being tried for a crime against the state, I was immediately dismissed by the city’s prosecuting attorney from jury duty.

Make of that what you will.  But also know that this very kind of Caucasian privilege is what too many of my “kind” in Washington are fighting to preserve.

Randy Newman – “I Love LA”

Surveying My Options

In the pilot episode of the new Apple TV series The Studio, newly installed movie studio chief Seth Rogen has two choices. 

One is to greenlight legendary director Martin Scorsese’s penultimate film about cult leader Jim Jones and the 1978 Jonestown massacre, where Jones famously coerced dozens of his followers into committing mass suicide in his compound by drinking cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, rather than open its doors and answer to his very real crimes of emotional, financial and physical abuse.

Guest emmy?

The other is to make the much more colorful Kool-Aid!, a flamboyantly fun interpretation of the fabulously flavored punch (note: whose rights his billionaire corporate overlord recently acquired), featuring whimsical versions of little red, green and yellow Kool-Aid people mischievously wreaking havoc in their own invented alternative universe. 

This being a satire of the movie business, as well as 2025 America, the selection is clear. 

As his head of marketing proclaims about Kool-Aid:

I can sell the f-ck out of that! 

Are we at the point that where a good idea is merely something we can market? 

No, we’re way, way, waaaaay past that point.

Approximately $6 trillion dollars in wealth vanished from the U.S. stock market in the two days since the massive Trump tariffs went into effect last week. 

Meaning 10% of our national value. 

Sweating through our shirts, but fine!

Meaning that the 35% of working Americans who have 401K account savings they’ve contributed to for years are significantly poorer with no end in sight

Add the fact that much of Social Security’s D.C. staff, as well as many of its nationwide offices, were either fired or shuttered under the pretense of government efficiency by a bunch of DOGE bros, as well as anecdotal stories of thousands of recipients being mistakenly…ahem….deleted from the system by the click of a DOGE keystroke, one could easily conclude the financial safety of the average American has suddenly become the equivalent of…. a 15 alarm fire.

Which is pretty knee-deep sh-tty considering fire alarm levels typically range from 1-5.

Should we even save the snakes?

Not as sh-tty as being snatched off the street and vanishing into the worst prison in El Salvador after having your head shaved (Note: Will there be an American film company in the country willing to make that story in three and a half years?) but still not enviable.

In other words, really, really, REALLY sh-tty.

Gotta find my bell

Of course, this is not what we, the average working, non-billionaire Americans, are being told.   What we are being told, I mean sold, by the man who would be King, I mean POTUS, the guy who’s been playing golf since Friday with some Saudi billionaires in Florida and hosting a $1 million-dollar-a-plate MAGA fundraising dinner over the weekend, is to “hang tough” because this is an “economic revolution” and the results will be “historic.”

someone call my decorator

In another interview he went on to boast:

We’re going to become so rich, you’re not going to know where to spend all that money.

Well, that would be nice and I’m sure many of you are brimming with ideas.

But first on my agenda is to dig myself out from under this BIGLY HUGE AND RELENTLESS ENDLESS PILE OF SH-T!, SH-T and MORE SH-T!

Sure is

Though that’s not what the PT Barnum of Golden Escalators is suggesting I do.  What he wants me, a lifelong liberal Democrat, to do is to spend my money supporting the MAGA agenda of the Republican-controlled Congress.

The day the stock market tanked I received an urgent letter from his #2 guy in the House of Representatives, House Majority Leader and MAGA stalwart Steve Scalise, imploring me to contribute $1000, $500, $250, $100, $50 or $35 to the National Republican Congressional Committee. (Note:  How did they decide on the numbers and in which order to put them in?) He also strongly urged me to answer 29 questions in its AMERICA FIRST PRIORITIES ISSUES SURVEY.

Well. I mean, twist my arm, STEVE. 

This is my moment

Though, as you can imagine, he didn’t have to. 

Not only is Rep. Scalise a rabid opponent of a woman’s right to choose, an attendee of white supremacist conferences and full throated supporter of big oil and NOT green energy, he has voted against every piece of legislation in support of the LGBTQ plus community despite the fact that a BLACK LESBIAN CAPITOL POLICE OFFICER NAMED CRYSTAL GRINER took a bullet in the leg and HELPED SAVE HIS LIFE in 2017 when he was shot by a gunman during a Congressional GOP baseball practice at an Alexandria, VA stadium.

But back to Steve’s letter. 

Yes, back to the letter

It had a respectful start – Dear Fellow Patriot – but that was where it ended.  What followed were these first two sentences:

  • Did Joe Biden’s REGIME  work for YOU? (Note:  No, not Regine’s, the once hot NYC nightclub Trump frequented in the eighties.  Regime, as in North Korea, one of America’s newest allies).
  • Are Biden’s leftover allies in Congress fighting for YOUR values? (Note: And yes, the YOUR was in boldface).

I know, you can imagine the rest. 

Though actually, you don’t have to.  Here are two choice, unedited pages for your perusal.

And even better, here’s the survey of 29 questions I answered in pen and mailed back to them.

I had many favorites but I have to say the best question in light of recent events was #5:

Do you believe most Americans want a return to the booming economy we enjoyed during the first Trump term?

When Trump was defeated in Fall, 2020 the U.S. economy, knee-deep in the covid pandemic, was the worst it’d been since the economic crash in 2008. 

And after Friday’s massive financial losses, the 2025 U.S. economy was deemed the worse it’s been since the summer of 2020.

Look it’s Trump coming for the economy!

Talk about drinking the Kool-Aid and selling the f-ck out of less than nothing.

That’s why, in total exasperation, I scrawled this response in my craziest handwriting on the front of my survey response card:

TAKE ME OFF YOUR F-KNG MAILING LIST YOU FASCIST, HOMOPHOBIC, LYING, RACIST ASSH-LES AND ENJOY THE STOCK MARKET CRASHING AND THE END OF DEMOCRACY!

… and I’d do it again.

Sure, it’s a bit blunt and doesn’t meet them where they are.

But at least it’s not a manipulative, curated lie.

Soldiers’ Chorus – “My Country, Tis of Thee”