Notes from the Mueller Report

I spent the entire weekend reading The Mueller Report.  That means Friday night, all during the day and part of the evening on Saturday and half of the day and part of the evening on Sunday.

Yes, I’m a slow reader.

Still, it’s 448 pages and it’s dense.  Though it is not so dense that you need to be a lawyer to read it.  In fact, it probably helps to NOT be a lawyer. In that way, you don’t get lost in a mire of technicalities and convoluted, stretched-beyond credulity interpretations of federal and/or criminal statutes.

No TV lawyers either! #sorryAnnalise

What we laymen and laywomen (aka the voters) will ultimately see are the basics.  And then we will all have to ask ourselves some questions.  Those would be:

  1. Did Russia interfere in the 2016 election of Donald J. Trump to U.S. President?
  2. Did the Trump campaign work with Russia to get elected?
  3. Did Trump try to hide (aka lie about) his relationship to Russia?
  4. Does Trump have the qualities of someone we want to continue as President?

If you changed the name of Trump to Smith and every person who worked for him to nom de plumes like, say, Mitzie, Fritzie, Trixie and Vi in this exhaustive account, and then afterwards refrained from consulting with ANYONE who had legal expertise or skin in the game, I promise you there would be only ONE WAY to answer all of these questions.

  1. YES
  2. YES
  3. YES

and

     4. NO!!! No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Me, the entire weekend

But don’t take my word for it.  Here are only a few salient facts.

  1. Did you know that Smith’s campaign manager actually gave specific and ongoing polling information to Russia throughout the campaign about the Rust Belt States that eventually gave Pres. Smith his Electoral College victory? We’re talking about data from and about Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Minnesota – the very states that put him over the top.

Oh yeah, he did.  He met up with them and handed the facts not only right before the Republican convention in 2016 but in repeated contacts prior to, right after and right up until the November election.  Truly.  It jumps right out at you in the first half of the report (aka Volume I).

Reading the Mueller report like…

  1. You will also read in that same volume pages and pages on Smith surrogates such as Roger, I mean, Dodger FlintStone, among others. He and they were active participants in promoting fake, Russian-created groups with names like “Stop All Immigrants,” “Being Patriotic,” “Blacktivist” and “United Muslims of America.”   These groups were designed for and succeeded in fanning the flames of partisan anger and resentment on social media among your fellow voters.  Many hundreds of insurgent Russians, helped along by Dodger and the like, then sponsored fake live events where phony Russians (or Americans cooperating with phony Russians) posed as disgruntled or partisan Americans at rallies where shouting matches often ensued.

The anger generated by these events, spread through many other social media repostings from still more Russians and Smith-ers, then spawned other real and more partisan events until soon literally millions and millions of more people became angry, isolated, alienated and convinced that only Smith, who was usually programmed at still other events to coincide with the apex of said bubbling anger, could tout himself as the only one who could save them from such vitriol.

Fanning the flames

  1. You probably already know about that famed “whistle-blowing” organization named Leakie-Lots. But did you also know that the report delineates ways Dodger and the gang communicated between candidate Smith, Leakie and the Russian government tricksters illegally obtained hacked emails as well as other illegally obtained and damning information about the other side?

Oh sure, you’ll read excerpts from any number of Smith tweets and speeches that presage or capitalize on deadly information on his competitor that the Mueller Report connects to relationships between the Smith campaign, the Russians and still other people in the Dodger mold. Ilk.  Whatever.

Chairy, does this get better?

  1. The second half more specifically centers on the personal machinations of President Smith.  For instance, all during that year he spent on the campaign as Candidate Smith, denying he had ANY business dealings with Russia, his lawyer Fritzie, as well as his children Minnie, Ninnie and Nonnie, as well Minnie’s husband, Creamy, all KNEW that this was a big LIE.  In fact, each of them was periodically briefed during that time about ongoing plans to construct an enormous Smith Tower in Moscow.  In fact, this building was being touted as possibly THE potential luxury destination in all of Moscow, and perhaps the world.  And it could be worth countless millions, and in the end perhaps billions, to all of them.

Not as dumb as they seem

  1. But likely the most salacious documentations in the entire report confirm most of the news stories and, yes, gossip, about Smith’s personal behavior during his first two years in the White House. It seems our Electoral College POTUS really did order his closest non-family member advisors and cabinet officials to end the Special Counsel investigation into his relationship with Russia by every means necessary in fear that it would be “the end” of his reign.

His lawyers, appointees, cabinet members and friends (Note: All of whom he saw as Smith employees) tried to ignore his most outrageous requests, such as lying under oath to the SC about specific conservations he had with them and testifying to the exact opposite of what happened.  But it didn’t always work.  So if Smith persisted they would then be forced to prepare resignation letters that he would or wouldn’t accept (Note:  Sometimes he’d even just carry them around in his pocket and then lie about it to promote even more fear), stand their ground and get privately and/or publicly berated by him, or ultimately fired (though in the case of the latter, never by Smith in person).

working for the Smith administration

Various Smith retributions and temper tantrums occurred over other subjects but by far the worst had to do with Smith and Russia.  Despite whatever was observed first-hand, if Smith wanted his people to state it was raining outside, his people were expected to stand before the world in the blazing bright light of a sun-drenched day and convince everyone within ear and eyeshot to come inside in order to get away from the undeniable storm clouds pouring down on them from up above that no one but them and their fellow selected few who were also on the team could clearly see.

Still works #dated #delusional

Okay, perhaps this is all a bit cute….by half.  But it could be the only way to truly understand what the Mueller Report offers about our democracy is to change the names in order to not pre-determine an outcome.  Certainly, reality isn’t doing it.  Thus far about 40-43% of voters are still behind Electoral College POTUS Trump, I mean, Smith.

Think about it.  Then read the report for yourself.  And soon.

Ray Charles – “America The Beautiful”

 

Monkey Business?

There is no escape.

Not from Trump metaphors in art generally or in movie sequels specifically.   Even if all you want is a good summer film.

Of course, this also means there is no running from the news of the day, even if you don’t care a whit about the future generally or the human species specifically.

Stay with me… I’m about to get there

You might think you can turn it off by reading a classic novel and transporting yourself into another world. But try it. Chances are there will be some authoritarian figure somewhere bellowing belligerently from the rafters about what’s good for you, your neighborhood or your country in a voice you want to stab to death at any given moment. This being might be the voice of a dictator but, trust me, it can also be your parent, a friend or even your own inner voice.

Sure, I could be talking about just me but, truly, I don’t think so. When one lives in extreme circumstances one unfortunately finds resonance everywhere – and often in the most unlikely of places.

This weekend I went to a Writer’s Guild screening of War for the Planet of The Apes.

GURLLLL

Well, why not?

Sure, it’s the NINTH film of the Apes series, I don’t like sequels and reboots generally and, more specifically, I missed the last two. But I did read some synopses to catch up and there were the stellar written and word of mouth reviews for this new one

I heard it’s fantastic!, related a good friend who spoke to a good friend who knew someone who saw it.

Jeez, did you read this? It’s a rave, yelled my husband across the room over breakfast and our printed newspaper this past Friday morning. An eschewer of movie sequels generally and franchise action films specifically, I got the sense if he wasn’t working on a deadline to finish his new book he might have even joined me and paid the price of admission at a real movie theatre to see it.

And it doesn’t even have Dr. Zaius!

For the NINTH Planet of the Apes movie???? Yes. As I said, we all need our fantasy escapes – unless of course our backs are up against the wall with work and we have discipline. Well, one of us has to.

Besides, if I didn’t go to the new Apes film I would have missed:

Where to begin…

  • Woody Harrelson ordering droves of shackled apes to BUILD A WALL to keep all the bad guys out.
  • Metaphorical strong man father figures who stick by their families at all costs and lash out when their first-born sons are threatened, mutilated and/or killed. (Note: So be careful out there on Twitter).

Well… he would if it were Ivanka

  • Whole tribes of people willing to follow a certifiably CRAZY GUY because times are tough, he talks a good game and seems to have some sort of vague plan that will save them.

Of course, this could just be me reading into the movie but, truly, I don’t think so.

By the way, know you are reading no Apes snob here. The original Planet of The Apes was one of my favorite films as a child because it confirmed all of my worst prepubescent fears about the future of the planet. Even back then I knew we were probably doomed and the best that I could hope for is that some hot guy in a loincloth who looked like a youngish Charlton Heston would take pity on me and “save” me. (Note: This was well before I was aware of his politics, not that this would have mattered to my 12 year old self).

OK well I was looking at his other “guns” #shameless

After the screening of the new Apes film the director/co-screenwriter Matt Reeves spoke to a room full of us writers and related how he wanted to marry a mythic story with the technology of the day in creating the reality of the apes. Well, fair enough, I thought, even if at 142 minutes it all felt a bit overwrought and Woody Harrelson’s nutsy bald-headed villain reminded me too much of Marlon Brando’s Col. Kurtz in Apocalypse Now without the sick wit. Or it all evoked a type of Bridge Over The River Kwai 2 with simians. Or The Ten Commandments without the presence of God or Charlton Heston – at any age.

I’ll keep the leopard clad Edward G. Robinson though #fabulous

But then Mr. Reeves made the mistake too many of us do when referring to our work – he began to explain it. He actually called his film as a “Darwinian biblical epic” and noted he screened the movies Apocalypse Now, The Ten Commandments and Bridge Over the River Kwai for inspiration. Oh, he did also mention The Outlaw Josey Wales, which I never saw, and now I guess probably won’t have to.

Sorry Clinty #stillanemptychair

All of this is to say, the difference between movie and real life auteurs these days is that the real life ones feel no need to truthfully explain themselves. We get codified messages from The Trump Of It All like build a wall and my (39 YEAR OLD) son is a good boy but not a lot of honest reflection about how he (It?) got to the decisions he made or why he made them. In fact, none.

And so far it’s working.

This should be a lesson for every movie director and writer out there. The moment you begin explaining what you do and why you do/did it is the precise time where you can begin to sew the seeds of your own downfall in the eyes of your audience. At least in the world we live in nowadays. Or, well, my world. A world from which there is no escape – even on a 2000 plus square foot movie screen.

or… RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Though —

You (I?) might want to hang on to these results just in from a new Washington Post/ABC News pollThe Trump Of It All’s approval rating has just dropped six points to 36% from its previous 42% in April. Its/His disapproval rating has also risen 5 points to 58%. These are levels only reached once before: by George W. Bush near the end of his second term – after the economy crashed.

Yes, this is a slim, slim lifeline but is probably better than what you’ll get anywhere else. Of course, this could be just me but, truly, I don’t think so.

Dusty Springfield – Wishin’ and Hopin’

SPECIAL NOTE: We will be taking a brief stay-cation next week and notesfromachair will return in two weeks. During that time, our beloved Holly, the editor, caption writer and image chooser of all things notes will be giving birth to her second child – better known as Sam’s sibling – and we can’t do any of this without her. Or choose not to. Though why explain any further.

Can’t wait for you to meet her!