Notes for the 70 million

And how is everyone today?

to put it mildly

Well, I guess my magic eight ball failed me.  Which means I’m out of the political prognosticating business. 

My last post predicted, with great assurance, that Kamala Harris would be elected president.   A historic achievement for so many reasons but mostly for the sake of the future of the country and the world.

Oh god, I’m gonna be sick

Of course, personally, I’m not that noble. 

The truth is I abhor racists, sexual predators and people who brazenly lie, break the law and prey on the trusting nature of those less cynical than I am. 

Which means pretty much everybody. 

Also, as a Scorpio, another of my truths is  I have a weakness for revenge.  I’m not proud of it and have to work to keep it in check.  But somehow I convinced myself that shaming the biggest bully in the U.S. as a loser in the public square would be justice.           

Why can’t I just get what I want??

Well, nothing good happens when you let the righteous anger of revenge get the best of you. 

How do I know that?  Witness the results of the 2024 presidential election.  Seventy-four million Americans took their own palpable rage out on the other 70 million of us who were trying to take the high road for the good of their country even though many of us were quite rageful and revengeful deep down.  In doing so, they elevated a  bully to the highest office in the land, and perhaps the world, hoping he’d…

Make their world better?

Nope

Protect them?

another no

Beat up (Note: Or worse) the people they don’t like, disagree with or who look different than they do?

Get them some more money?

All of the above and quite a lot more?

Not at all.

I have ZERO idea. 

Here’s what I do know.

As a college professor, advisor and mentor with hundreds of current and former students in my life, I heard stories from A LOT of traumatized young people this week. 

  • Women in their twenties who were quickly obtaining birth control because they feared the next administration would outlaw their method, track their menstrual cycles and…much worse. 
  • Sad students I had taught or am currently teaching who have non-white immigrant parents and are terrified for themselves and their families despite the fact they were born here. 
It’s this.. but not funny at all
  • Gay, lesbian and non-binary students so depressed they couldn’t speak about their present, much less their futures, even in a so-called safe space. 
  • Trans students living openly wondering why they are so hated and others planning to transition who are now delaying becoming their true selves for fear of practical, and very public, retribution.
  • Very, very white students dreading Thanksgiving dinner with their gloating, MAGA relatives.
  • And across-the-board concerns, despite political beliefs, from all of them, about not only the health of the planet but their careers and economic futures under a president they universally see as a geriatric version of Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker. (Note:  Their analogy, not mine).
The dancing is similar but you know Trump doesn’t do stairs

It was hard to know what to say.

Not to mention, heartbreaking.

This is not the world they imagined.  It’s certainly not one I every fully acknowledged. 

Or had I?

Was this me?

This led me to the only perspective and advice I had to give, that I’ve shared in bits and pieces on social media.  It’s not a solution or a practical guide of what to do.  I can’t think straight, or even gay enough, to offer much on that score at the moment.  But what I do know is:

70 MILLION PEOPLE VOTING FOR SOMETHING IS NOT NOTHING.  It is the possibility of SOMETHING.

sigh

As a gay man of a certain age, these days I try to not dwell on key events of the eighties.  But like all trauma, and deep disappointments and losses, they are forever engrained in my psyche and have shaped me into what I hope is the decent, and mostly loving, person I am today.

Back then I thought it was all over after Reagan was elected and then re-elected thanks in great part to fear of “the other,” greed and Christian nationalism. In particular the latter (and Reagan) capitalized on a fear and hatred of the LGBTQ+ community, turned their back on the AIDS crisis and literally ignored the deaths of many tens of thousands of American citizens, not to mention eventually millions around the world. 

Welcome

A lot of them were my friends and peers and watching the mass indifference of so many of those so-called citizens basking in the glow of “Morning in America” made me sick to my stomach and uncontrollably angry. And, eventually, quite hopeless.

In those years I was convinced as a country we were soulless and probably doomed, not to mention completely morally bankrupt, and that nothing good could ever occur again for me, and certainly not US. I never, EVER imagined we’d get to Barack Obama. Not. A. Chance.

Did we ever deserve this?

But now our country has clearly changed again (as it always does), has to some extent been deluded by disinformation, has to some extent chosen racisms/sexism/homophobia and others isms, and has to more than some extent chosen to be guided by fear and delusion vs. reality-based evolution.

So we’re going to have to go through some rocky times, most likely extremely rocky times, before we get to “the promised land.”

For real though

Fortunately, the nature of this country historically – especially in relation to change – is that there are huge swings back and forth as we evolve.  It’s never easy and we often metaphorically, and literally, go kicking and screaming, but against all odds we manage to, if not get there, at least progress.  Consider, more than a century and a half ago there was a CIVIL WAR.  People you knew in the south were shooting at and killing those in the north they disagreed with.  There should have been NO WAY for this country, much less any country as young as ours, to survive it. 

Will it now happen again and include the Midwest, Southwest and Pacific coast states?  As I said, I’m out of the predicting business.  If only because I don’t even want to contemplate being trained in the use of a contemporary style musket. 

Though, if needed, I could, and will, certainly learn.

Meow

Our CURRENT SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT, Kamala Harris, said in her concession speech – “The light of America’s promise will always be bright – as long as we never give up – and as long as we keep fighting.”

Endings = Beginnings = …Well, that’s up to us.

It’s okay to be sad and depressed and to escape with your vice of choice for a few days. Then it’s time to start again, all of us, as so many before us have done.

Watch out, cuz here I come

And remember, those aged 18-29 voted against the Bully by a clear margin – over 10%.

That’s the beginning of a whole lot of something.  A seeable slice of hope in our always uncertain future.

Chappell Roan – “Good Luck, Babe”

The Way It Is

Did you have a good Thanksgiving holiday weekend?  I did. 

We had a small group of family and friends over for the first time in three years for turkey day.  I cooked and, gotta say, it was one of those meals where everything went right.

The bird cooked perfectly and I barely basted it.  The roasted sweet potatoes with apple, honey and maple syrup, was fantastic.  Cornbread stuffing made separately worked really well.  Roasted brussels sprouts felt perfect.  Even the green salad with pomegranate seeds was a standout, not to mention the homemade corn bread I made in my spare time, as well as the excellent cranberry sauce my sister-in-law made.

Ina approved!

It wasn’t all good news, though.

There were 22 people killed and 44 injured in seven mass shootings over Thanksgiving week.  That’s an average of one a day, for those who are now too overwhelmed or saddened or stumped to think about it. 

Of course, I thought about it.  But there was food to buy, cooking to get done and timing and plating to figure out, culminating with me watching some of the new Broadway musicals on NBC’s Thanksgiving Day parade (Note: Ugh, don’t bother.  And yes we’re speaking to you, Some Like it Hot!) on that all too treacherous morning of the big meal.

Don’t even get me started on this

Well, treacherous is a relative term.  Obviously.

But it’s not like the five that died and dozens more who were injured four days prior at that beloved Colorado Springs LGBTQ+ party spot, Club Q, thought a few hours of their partying prior to Thanksgiving was particularly dangerous either. 

And even though I’ve never actually been inside a Wal-Mart (Note:  Yeah, that’s correct), it’s safe to imagine that the six human beings blown to bits by a disgruntled employee would never have imagined in their wildest dreams that being in that location would prove to be the most treacherous place on earth for them two days later.

Sigh.

The great intellectual and writer, the late Susan Sontag, published a devastating short story, The Way We Live Now, back in the mid-eighties.  It described in snippets of conversation that felt casual and gossipy but were anything but, the new normal that the AIDS epidemic in NYC had wrought.

Life would never return to the naive everyday-ness that we had previously dared to intermittently consider to be treacherous. In fact, most of what we considered pre mid-eighties treacherousness would be considered quaint, and then some, from then there on.

Nothing about Ms. Sontag’s prose was melodramatic, studied or even particularly special at the time.  But that’s what made it unique. She was merely reporting the conversational facts of deterioration, disease and death as if they were an itemized prep list of thoughts, tasks and snarky tidbits one could encounter before, during and after a typical Thanksgiving holiday dinner.

A must read (click the pic for the link)

In essence, she was telling us we would grow used to anything if we had to because even with the grotesquely awful there were plans to be executed, events to attend to and meals certainly to be made.  What was going on outside was awful but, well, we’d just have to modify.  Amid the medicines, hospital visits and funeral plans, the rest of us would still get hungry.  Right?  After all, there was nothing we could do about it, anyway. 

Having lived through the dreadful beginning and middle of AIDS as death sentence in the eighties and nineties, I can’t help but feel a familiarity of those times to the way we live now – in 2022.

It’s not that gun proliferation and violence is a new virus in our midst, the way AIDS was back then.  It’s that it has begun to metastasize in a scarily virulent way.

The new normal

There have so far been 606 mass shootings in the US in 2022, as opposed to 610 in total in 2020 and 690 last year (an all-time high).  We could still be #1 by the time this year is out but no matter where we fall, or fail, we will certainly be competitive with the worst of the worst before 2023 rings in.

There are now more guns that people in the US. (Note: 393 million guns to be exact), the majority of which are owned by white men, who are more than likely to identify as rural and Republican.

No, I’m not racial profiling.  Here is an exhaustive story from CNN in June. 

And a front-page story in the NY Times this weekend casually chronicled the latest trend in a new kind of non-verbal public discourse – the armed demonstrator.

This should not be normal

Sure, it’s our right to carry a weapon if we have a permit.  But in June in the US we had an average of one armed demonstration per day.  What this means is that packin’ right wing protestors, sometimes led by the Proud Boys or Oath Keeper members,  routinely show up at public events in places like Phoenix or Nashville carrying sidearms, long guns or other such paraphernalia because…they can.

If it scares you, well maybe you should be scared.  Or not.  Our freedom, your choice.  Or, well, perhaps it’s both.

It’s worth noting lots of these events also seem to happen around abortion clinics, or gatherings sponsored by the LGBTQ community.  Sometimes they’re even near places where people vote.  Or where certain other minority groups choose to congregate. 

This feels right to me

This is not surprising since 10 states have extremely lax laws regarding firearms, allowing pretty much any gun owner the legal right to carry a weapon in a crowd, a government building or even restaurant serving Thanksgiving dinner. 

So if you found yourself in Arizona, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia or Washington over the holiday and made it out alive and unscathed, consider yourself one lucky dude, dudette or non-binary celebrant.

I myself felt relatively safe in Los Angeles this week, despite all you maybe have heard about our uptick in crime.   They might have guns, sure, but they’re not free to carry them anywhere.  At least not by law.

… and I’m never leaving

Besides, they’re mostly looking for Rolex watches and I was never big on expensive jewelry.

But that’s the way I, and we, live now.   At least here.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Because it was exactly six months prior to Thanksgiving that 19 small children and two teachers were killed at an elementary school in Uvalde, TX and the only thing that changed were the lives of their relatives and friends.

Lana Del Rey – “Looking for America”