The Fox and the Hair

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Fox News and The Daily Show, particularly The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, were made for each other. They’re like Kennedy v. Nixon, Bush v. Gore – and hell, let’s go even further – Angie v. Jen. That any of these pairs are indeed feuding at any given time is something we will never know for sure. What we do know is there have been many moments in time where they have strongly disagreed on what is correct and proper policy and/or behavior.

And then there’s this week’s Republican Debates with Donald Trump – which should really be reclassified as this season’s debut of The Apprentice. The new arc will clearly be pitting Mr. Trump against…um, everyone, but with a particular emphasis on uppity women. The latter is probably an oxymoron in Mr. Trump’s mind since he tends to see women – nee people, really – in two categories: those who agree with him and those who dare to speak their minds and disagree with him. Or pose direct questions that challenge him on what he says. Okay, that’s three categories. Whatever.

Mr. Stewart was an expert on challenging and certainly it’s more fun to write about him, especially if you’re a snide liberal like me. Still, it’s near impossible to do without boring your audience to death because you can never be as witty as he was in his 16-year stint as host of The Daily Show – a job that he voluntarily ended this past Thursday night. Coincidentally, that was the same night as the launch of The Republican Apprentice (Note: I think that’s a better name for those debates, don’t you?) and the national breakout of another new light-haired star of the small screen (Note #2 – And a woman, no less!) who dared to challenge the bashful billionaire to the center stage of the public square – Fox News’ own Megyn Kelly.

Yes, Jon... her

Yes, Jon… her

I’ve written before about endings and beginnings but if there was ever a Ying and Yang moment in the pop culture landscape it was the almost simultaneous departure of Mr. Stewart from our daily lives (for the time being) with the international skewering of America’s #1 new Bloviator-in-Chief (that would be Mr. Trump) by a surprising source, albeit one in a dress. Or, if you prefer – from the real press. Well, sort of. True, she had a much more direct and less playful style than Mr. Stewart but as hundreds of media outlets have already detailed we all knew that he would be irreplaceable. Nevertheless, like Mr. Stewart she punctured his pomposity with countless well-placed pricks – namely his own words that is – and hung him with them. It was both uncomfortable and sort of funny, though with Mr. Stewart it would have been funny and sort of uncomfortable. But again – different person, different style.

A Jon Stewart approved burn?

A Jon Stewart approved burn?

In case you didn’t catch the festivities, Ms. Kelly’s first question out of the gate to Mr. Trump – who at the time of the debate was the runaway favorite among Republican voters in the polls at nearly 25% – was about his treatment of women. Noting he had previously referred to women as fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals – to which he instantly retorted, Only Rosie O’Donnell!, to cheers from the live audience, she wondered if he thought this was the temperament of a man who should be president. He responded the country’s big problem was political correctness and that if Ms. Kelly (and by inference other women) didn’t understand things said for fun and kidding around he was sorry for her. Actually, let’s be really specific here and print exactly what he said:

Megyn, if you don’t like it I’m sorry – I’ve been very nice to you although I could probably not be based on the way you’ve treated me but I wouldn’t do that.

Of course, Mr. Trump did do exactly that in an interview several days later when, speaking of Ms. Kelly during the debate, he said, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever, not so subtly implying that perhaps the real explanation for her demeanor and questioning during those two hours was that she was hormonal.

Fear the wrath

Debate prep?

Mr. Stewart has had a decade and a half of field days with this kind of stuff. We’re talking about idiotic, wrong-headed or just plain offensive comments from public figures, politicians, corporations and the media in general where, in an actual fun and kidding around way he takes them apart intellectually. Of course, being a comedian and not an aspirant to political office, or even a reporter, he then has the carte blanche to end his diatribe against them by doing things like leading a gospel choir in a rousing song and dance chorus of Go F-K YOURSELF (Note: One of my favorite bits ever, but well, I’m not running for political office either). And hey, that’s just one of the many perks of his kind of success – speaking his mind – right?

Interestingly enough, that particular bit was first done towards a Fox News commentator and then the media in general.   As Mr. Stewart noted in a very strong summation of his POV during his final show, his main beef over the years has always been with the BULLSH-T in the world these days. Warning us all not to be seduced by the cunning acumen with which these lies are told to us daily he offered up several cogent examples as cautionary tales, including this one:

Whenever something’s been titled freedom, family, fairness, health, America, take a good long sniff, because chances are it has been manufactured in a facility that may contain traces of bull – (well, you know the rest).

He then concluded with one very simple overarching piece of advice for us all:

giphy

This quite literally brings me back to Fox News, Mr. Trump and Ms. Kelly.

I, for one, don’t give them too much credit. Though clearly I can’t really know their motivations. The whole idea that this network has taken up the high road of journalistic integrity by suddenly confronting the Republican candidates they throw softball questions to and tout nightly with the really tough questions they won’t answer from anyone else – from Megyn Kelly on down – seems at best a misguided altruistic view of this organization’s intentions in light of their past actions and reporting history and at worst, to paraphrase Mr. Stewart, a gargantually huge mountain of BULLSH-T. Remember, Ms. Kelly is the same reporter who eighteen months ago, near the top of a news segment on holiday multiculturalism, turned point blank to the camera and in a very serious tone tried to reassure the kids watching that despite anything that might have been said elsewhere the undisputed fact is that Santa just is White.

In the case of the Fox strategy for our debut episode of the aforementioned The Republican Apprentice, what seems a more likely scenario is: terrified Mr. Trump’s front-runner status among the 16 candidates was a wild card that would hand the 2016 presidency to Hillary Clinton, Roger Ailes (Fox News creator-in-chief) and any number of his monied consultants (e.g. the multi-billionaire Koch brothers) decided to sabotage the barking billionaire at his own game by using occasional bits of hard-hitting, objective real journalism to challenge each candidate with the most pointed, difficult questions imaginable in an effort to blow up their engrained pecking order and thus create a new one. Most naturally, then, the toughest questions were aimed at their leader – or more precisely the most colorful bird of the bunch – the one who could scarcely be bloodied with just one peck to his very large, and quite luxuriously coiffed (um, you choose the adjective) head.

The BIg Giant Head

The BIg Giant Head

True, I don’t have evidence to prove this for sure and since that is the argument Fox News commentators have for years used against enacting any type of real environmental legislation against global warning, take that for what you will. Not to mention, I heard yesterday this theory is also being endorsed by Rush Limbaugh, who seems to support much of Mr. Trump’s worldview, particularly as it pertains to women. Still, who better to know the real motivations at Fox than he? Him? Whatever. Grammatical correctness is the next big problem in America, right?

Perhaps that was just the right ironic thought with which to end this piece. But in a tribute to Jon Stewart – who really did change our world just a bit for the better with his art – let’s conclude the way he often chose to close out his show – with a Zen moment. And since I can’t improve on Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band – the one he used for his finale – it seems only fitting that for the last foreseeable time we pilfer our Zen from him.

Ohmmmmmmmm. Or in anticipation of the next episode of The Republican Apprentice – Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Now… It’s Over

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Some idiot at MSNBC cancelled Now with Alex Wagner and I’m pissed off. Can one be angry at an idiot who doesn’t know any better? Or is it more appropriate to be p.o.’d at an amorphous thing like a network that doesn’t have any feelings? How much of an effect will that have? Of course, I’ve met a lot of idiots who don’t have feelings so perhaps I’d be better off going with the individual just to make it all feel more personal to me. At least there is some satisfaction in that.

Yes, I realize most of you don’t know who Alex Wagner is or have anything invested in Now. Make of the last part of that last statement what you will. And know that I will explain more about both AW and Now in a bit.   For now, just be aware it’s a mid-afternoon news/talk/opinion show – one of a block of three such programs MSNBC has axed in order to mainstream itself with a CNN-type breaking news kind of strategery. Yes, strategery.

STRATEGERY, my friends

STRATEGERY, my friends

Apropos of that — back to the idiots.

I’ve read this monumentally stupid decision was the brainchild of new NBC News chairman Andrew Lack, who is anything but new. Or news. He actually presided over NBC in its news heyday of the nineties when he helped take its anchor Tom Brokaw from #3 to #1 in the nightly race for ratings among the three major broadcast networks’ Nightly News programs. But does anyone you know watch the Nightly News anymore? (Note: Jon Stewart doesn’t count and in another week he’ll be gone too – waaaaa). Certainly no one reading these words. Or writing them.

No love for Davey?

No love for Davey?

Someone should tell the 68-year-old Mr. Lack that his plan to insert recently deposed NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams (Note: Yeah, the guy who was put on “leave” for fictionalizing portions of at least a few more than several news stories he reported on) into the slots occupied by the brilliant and effervescent Ms. Wagner (and others) is akin to me ordering my current film students to sit down in a room and watch Barbra Streisand movies from the 60s and 70s on a loop. Or replacing Jon Stewart with Bryant Gumbel. Well, now I fear I’ve really lost the under 25 crowd. My first instinct was to use the Olivia Newton John or Elton John or even Jimmy Stewart comparison but I doubt any of those would have fared any better.

... and good luck to the over 40 crowd in recognizing this guy

… and good luck to the over 40 crowd in recognizing this guy

I have an unhealthy addiction to what used to be MSNBC and Ms. Wagner in particular because like me they are smart, sarcastic and liberal yet also managed to be surprisingly fair and balanced. Again, make of that last statement what you will but, no, it is not an oxymoron in our current cable news landscape. Also, in Ms. Wagner’s case I suspect she’s a lot nicer than I am. Certainly, she’s more modest. As for MSNBC, up until now they have been one of the few news sources with commentators who are not constantly dumbing down the issues of the day for the “masses,” blanding it down to the point of snoredom or amping it up to the tenor of the Donald Trump parade hosted by Fox News. I was going to say Sarah Palin parade on Fox because I hate to give Trump any more ink at all. But then I realized that evoking Sarah Palin was as relevant as hiring Brian Williams to be the new face of change for a floundering cable outlet. Or giving zzz’s inducing Meet the Press moderator Chuck Todd four more hours of daytime programming chores as your second new hosting face.  Kill me now.

Welp... it's about time for my mid morning nap  #snooze

Welp… it’s about time for my mid morning nap #snooze

What did/do I love about Alex Wagner? Well, for one thing she often referred to the 2012 Republican presidential nominee as Willard “Mitt” Romney (Note: His real name) and Donald Trump as the “Teflon Don” (Note: Too nice to be his real name). She could also speak as eloquently about Jay-Z as she could on Zero Based Budgeting, while on that very same show interview everyone from Ron Paul to RNC Chairman Reince Priebus (Note: Imagine being fair with him???) to any bleeding heart liberal on the block with a combination of tough-minded accuracy and good-natured aplomb.

News goddess

News goddess

Oh, and did I mention she’s 37, of mixed race origin and is married to former Obama White House chef, close First Family friend, and now NBC’s newest Today show contributor Sam Kass? Not to be mercenary, but why would you want someone like that anchoring an afternoon chat show on your network in 2015? Instead, let’s contract with more straight, deep-voiced or doughy-looking white men because, god knows, they are the wave of the future. What’s an Obama Coalition, anyway?

I'll have what she's having

I’ll have what she’s having

One might surmise this is less about Ms. Wagner and MSNBC and more about the fact that… the Chair does not adapt to change very well. Hmm, that could be at least partially correct. One strategy to overcome one’s anger – aside from just letting it go – is to welcome change as an opportunity for something better. I mean, the chief message of Pres. Obama to the Obama Coalition was something like: We are the change we have been waiting for. Remember?

Well, that’s a nice thought but in this case it would seem to indicate that the answer to all of this would be for me to start my own network, find another program or, as a last resort, try to figure out a way to hang out with Ms. Wagner on my own. I’m not entirely sure which one is the most doable. Though certainly I could guarantee the one of the three that would be the most fun.

Oh, do not start your own network, honey.

Oh, do not start your own network, honey.

That is, I suspect, the real issue. There is not a heck of a lot of fun in media these days. Or – there is too much of it. It’s entertaining when it’s supposed to be serious/serious when it’s supposed to be entertaining. Is Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly or even Fox News itself meant to be taken seriously? Have you ever tried to watch Fox and Friends? Every so often I tune in to the latter, one of several bizarre series on the top-rated cable network. Last week, when speaking of the surfer who got attacked and nearly eaten by a shark during a competition, one of the geniuses on that show wondered out loud why the surfing area wasn’t automatically cleared of sharks when there was a sporting event going on.

#Dowager4ever

#Dowager4ever

Yet on Ms. Wagner’s final program the Washington Post columnist Jonathan Capehart got it exactly right when asked about Thursday’s first Republican nominee presidential debate and the emergence of Donald Trump as its inevitable centerpiece. Mr. Capehart offered that the ratings would be high not because of a resurgence in political interest or a worry about the direction of the country. No, he said, it was mainly because it was a great potential entertainment event where you could sit in front of TV with a bowl of popcorn, a group of friends and play the drinking game of your choice as you watched Donald Trump eviscerate a stage full of – well, take your choice on what you want to call them, no partisanship here.

#srsly

#srsly

It is this kind of truth-telling that one seems to only get on shows like Ms. Wagner’s that I will miss. And yeah, I know I might be able to get it elsewhere. And it may even be better. Or it might not and I might be inspired to spend less time nodding my head at the television to people that I already know agree with me and being more productive in my life as a writer, teacher, husband and general citizen of the world.

As Gandhi once famously said – and perhaps this is where Pres. Obama got it from – Be the change that you wish to see in the world. In other words, don’t fight it.

#preach

#preach

Well, that’s a nice thought. But I’m still pissed off at MSNBC, Lack and the whole cabal for their misguided corporate stupidity. As such, in this situation I quite prefer the prose of Dorothy Parker, who many, many decades ago once wrote:

In my youth, it was a way I had,

To do my best to please.

And change, with every passing lad

To suit his theories.

 But now I know the things I know

And do the things I do,

And if you do not like me so,

To hell, my love, with you.

Or, in 2015 vernacular: Bite me, MSNBC.