A Very Chairy Nightmare

This is what it’s been like for me:

Last night I dreamt that a guy named Hampton, or Harrington, with a portfolio in his hand and a hat cocked to the side of his head as if he was an old time reporter – think conservative writer Matt Drudge – came to my door trying to sell me something.

You know the type

I instantly backed away because he wasn’t wearing a mask.

But he kept talking and, when he saw I wasn’t responding to some right wing or religious claptrap he was peddling, he reached his arm out to jam the door and blurted out incredulously,

Wait, you haven’t heard of me????

I then gave him one of my famous eye rolls (Note: Okay, two) and slammed the door in his face.

My heart was beating fast and I was pissed!

This demented, unknown asshole —  how dare he infiltrate my safe space!

NOW!

Never mind this was my old apartment, located on the ground floor of a duplex from the sixties, that I haven’t lived in for 10 years.

Anyway, I turned from the door and went through the living room and then around the corner, past my bedroom, and through the hall to my home office, where I see Hampton, or Harrington, or whoever the f-k he claimed to be, actually crawling through my floor-to-ceiling door/window.

How he got it open, I have no idea, since as I recall there were bars on all those windows.  But these type of people, well, as we all know too well after the last four years, they have their ways, right?

If only Clooney was in this dream…

In any event, there I go running into the room where somehow this little sh-t has now somehow gotten his foot through the glass, ready to push him out and break the glass and sever his presumptuous soon to be dangling limb, if need be.

But before I can do anything I notice right next to him this cute little young woman, sitting at a large table she’s set up on the landing next to my doorway.  It’s got a large colorful tablecloth with a gorgeous set up of orange juice, muffins, teacakes, coffee, lemonade and the like, and she’s commandeered my entire area, ready to sell or perhaps even give it all away to a line of very clean-looking smiley people from, I’m guessing Indiana or some such Midwest state, certainly not West Hollywood, which is where my apartment was located.

A real Anna Camp type

I look at this woman, also mask-less and unsurprisingly sunny blonde, and think what the f-ck, but she just stares at me with this Up With People sort of smile and gestures to the o.j. and muffins.

Despite how good they look (Note:  Yeah, I have to admit that) I say to her almost tongue-tied:

What???  You can’t be here.  What are you doing here????

Hello? Hello?

Meanwhile, Hampton’s long leg has now almost touched the floor in my office, as I’m pressing the glass door closed against him and start yelling:

Get out!  Get out!   GET.   THE F-CK.   OUT!!!!!!!!

And then….

Well, I can’t tell you if I won or lost because then…

I WOKE.   THE F-CK.    UP.

But is it really?

Of course, missing from this dream was my husband of almost 32 years, who was living with me in that apartment.  God knows where those people stashed him.

Also gone was any semblance of anyone else to help me.  All that I saw was the phony sunshine being offered by these charlatans from a demented world that people were lining up to buy into in droves.

Does any of this sound, well, familiar?

Drink that Kool Aid

As I watched  Donald Trump this weekend immorally and probably illegally nominate someone who will arguably be the most conservative person ever to occupy a seat on the US Supreme Court, Amy Coney Barrett, I couldn’t help but reconsider, in light of this dream, what I secretly thought about myself at several points in my childhood when I had feelings about things that, in a matter of time, would turn out to actually happen:

I have ESP!

Open 24 hours

Then I realized the ugly truth.  I’m not special and I’d bet all 65 million of us have at times in the last four years been having various versions of this very same…well, let’s just call it as it is…nightmare.

Amy Coney Barrett, as well as the young girl at the breakfast table, and even Hampton or Harrington, might seem perfectly sunny to hang out with.  In fact, this would be especially so as long as they bring those muffins and orange juice and we have all taken a cup of Instant Smile in order to avoid talking about anything meaningful aside from their glistening and hypnotizing, well, cleanliness.

Follow the light Carol Anne!

But if we dare to blink our eyes a few times or, god/gosh forbid, think, it quickly becomes clear that what we’re really feasting on is, in reality, the beginning of our own demise.  The homogenization of difference.  The demonization and illegalization of the essence of who most of the 65 million of us are, or certainly believe in.

Ms. Barrett and Mr. Trump smiled a great game from the Rose Garden Saturday afternoon.  Heck, so did even  Kellyanne Conway and Fox News’ Laura Ingraham from the audience, and when was the last time you could say that about the latter?

She looks better than I thought #shade

But make no mistake.  If you are female, if you are LGBTQ, if you are not guided by religion, if you are non-white, OR if you are at all an ally in any sort of way of any of the aforementioned above, you should be more than alarmed.

Not to mention, you can also now count yourself, as allies, among that infamous 65 million of 2016 whose beliefs and lives will truly be in peril. (Note: aka The Majority).

I won’t go through all the many ways we should be panicked at the nomination and likely immoral confirmation of this woman.  Read these links and simply let the facts do it for you:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

Blessed be the fruit

But what I will do is encourage you all to remember that though dreams and nightmares are personal works of fiction, they spring from the reality of your mind.

Now more than ever in the next five weeks heading up to this election it’s important that each and every one of us trust in our minds, in our own ways of thinking, and especially in our own instincts on impending danger, and take any actions available to save ourselves, our compatriots and, most of all, even our fellow citizens/enemies from the worst of themselves.

Or shall I say, all of ourselves???

Alice Cooper – “Welcome to My Nightmare”

 

A Hero Among Us

Here’s an interesting factoid in the midst of a global pandemic and what seems to be the second American Civil War.

Twitter this weekend announced the most liked and retweeted tweet in its history.

Relax, it’s not political and has nothing to do with COVID-19.

A change for Chairy?

But in less than a day this tweet received 5.6 million likes and 2.9 million retweets (and at the time of this posting has grown past 6.9 million likes and 3 million retweets).

To give you an idea of how much that is, the previous record holder received a mere 4.3 million likes and 1.7 million retweets.

And it was this Nelson Mandela quote from former Pres. Barack Obama:

That was back on Aug., 12, 2017 right after white supremacist neo-Nazis marched in the streets of Charlottesville, VA as one of their compatriots drove a car into a group of people peacefully protesting against them, killing an innocent young woman and injuring many more.

The nation was reeling from the sheer horror and gall of it, even more so when three days later our current POTUS famously weighed in, telling a spray of reporters, and in turn in the world, there were very fine people on both sides.

Seems like the right time to dig up this evergreen meme

Which just goes to show that a single tweet can only do so much, even with the imprimatur of Obama AND Mandela.

Still, limited and cesspool-y as Twitter can be, it is a temperature measure of something in the country and the world at any given point in time.  Much like an overtly popular song or movie or TV show, it is a touchstone to what society was feeling or thinking or needing (Note: Or NOT feeling or needing or even thinking) in that moment, particularly when it receives such an overwhelming response.

This definitely makes sense for 2020 #wap #imnoprude #evenifitmakesmeblush

In that sense, it tells us perhaps more than we want to know or care to remember about who we were and perhaps still are.

Yes this is still not political, despite what you might think I’m implying about our current Tweeter-in-Chief.

See if you don’t agree as we shine a light on our new, record-holding tweet, which I suspect will own that mantle for quite some time to come.

It went out early Friday night and was the last one from the account of the late actor and activist Chadwick Boseman.

There are many ways to look at this tweet, the most important being a much loved artist lost his life far too early and far too cruelly, and the sheer pain of it for both him, his family and his many loved ones, which clearly includes many millions of fans from all over the world.

Still, many famous people die far too young from hideous diseases and other hurtful circumstances.  Beautiful as life can be, we all eventually learn tragedy can be right around the corner, and often when we least expect it.

But here, at the end of August 2020 there was something about Mr. Boseman’s death that was an instant kick in the teeth to the world, particularly in the United States.

A King

In the midst of a global pandemic and the powerful, exponentially growing international Black Lives matter movement, how can it be that the man we best know as King T’Challa, the immortal and all powerful leader of the most advanced society in the Universe (Note: Who also happens to be Black), in one of the highest grossing and most popular films of all time, Black Panther, be….gone?????

What is the universe trying to tell us about OUR hopes and dreams, anyway?

Nothing good, you might preemptively decide to believe.

Tempting as it might be to go down that deep dark hole to hell (Note: Certainly I have more than once, twice, okay a dozen times in the last two weeks), it’s hard to not recognize that the very phrasing of this tweet from those who were the closest to Chadwick Boseman delivers the real message in the announcement and holds the true key as to its “popularity.”

A real-life superhero

In a world where death and hopelessness is now literally just around the corner for so many of us if we don’t play our cards right, here is an activist who happened to be an actor leaving us a true road map in how to continue on with the fight.

There is nothing easy about stage III and stage IV cancer.  It eats through your insides and spits them right out.  And sometimes the treatments do a lot worse.

And yet somehow this young actor found the wherewithal to keep starring in major movies (Note:  Also no easy feat and occasionally, if you don’t play your cards right, nearly as poisonous) on and off all…through it?

You can’t help but wonder, was it so much the power he learned from bringing life to such iconic heroes as Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall, music icon James Brown, and major league baseball trailblazer Jackie Robinson, or the power he managed to tap inside of himself that brought them to life for us?

He could do it all

And if he could tap all of that power in the darkest of times, what does that say about what is possible for any of us in our current, seemingly darkest hours, if we could even do, say, a fraction of that?

In short, what would/did the Black Panther do? #WWBPD

Sure, perhaps this is carrying the metaphor a bit far.  After all, I didn’t have the pleasure of meeting Mr. Boseman.  To me he was just a really fine actor with triple threat star power – quiet strength, simple honesty and, well, sexy as hell.

Not to mention he got me to see a superhero film not one, not twice but THREE times!

Me emerging from Avengers: Endgame

Nevertheless record holders become record holders for a reason.

The sad yet powerful announcement of Mr. Boseman’s death ironically tore such a gigantic hole in our collective consciences at this particularly awful moment in American history for the way in which it managed to both celebrate his life and lay our humanity bare.

You will be missed #wakandaforever

It made many of us think there could be a universal kind of heroism residing in each and every one of us if circumstances force us to tap into it.

And just in the nick of time, too.

Chadwick Boseman as James Brown, in Get on Up  (“Welcome to America” scene)