This year’s Oscars should be co-hosted by Wanda Sykes, Tiffany Haddish and Viola Davis. Wit, class, diversity and what the Motion Picture Academy most seems to be looking for – an expansion of its viewing audience.
That’s industry parlance for higher ratings
AKA MONEY #timetogetreal
I partly suggest this because I am so sick of men. That’s quite a statement coming from a gay guy, but, trust me it’s true. If I didn’t already have a husband I’d be taking a break.
After the Electoral College POTUS, Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey and Les Moonves of it all we get…Kevin Hart as THE choice to host the annual TV show that gets the biggest ratings of the year? Well, among the biggest ratings these days because that number has rapidly been decreasing, among so many numbers for network television.
Still, this pick (rescinded two days later) says so much about the entertainment industry – in this case quite an apt stand-in for our immediate world – and its ability to perceive what’s going on in the zeitgeist.
That’s Chair parlance for reality.
Let’s be clear – I don’t want to get rid of all men, or shall I say, all straight men. Some of my best friends are…
We know, Chairy.
I’m only advocating we, well… try to take a look around and through, inside and out, and up and over.
Kevin Hart. If you want the full details of his tweets, have at it here.
But here’s a quick summary. He’s admitted to being physically violent with his wife, even spent a night in jail for it. There was also a sex tape of him cheating on her when she was eight months pregnant but let’s put that to the side because, well, who doesn’t cheat on their pregnant wife?
The Chair bringing the shade
Mr. Hart has joked more than once that if he caught his son playing with a doll house it would mean he was gay and he’d hit him over the head with it and say, stop it, that’s gay. In fact, that’s gay or that’s so gay seems like it was his go-to twitter insult from, ok…2007-2011. He even made an AIDS joke about Damien Wayans back then, saying his social media pic looked like a gay billboard for AIDS.
Explaining himself in a 2015 Rolling Stone interview, Mr. Hart said he wouldn’t do those jokes anymore because, the times, when I said it, weren’t as sensitive as they are now.
Yeah, we need to talk
See…this is the crux of the problem
For some people, the times only become sensitive when they get caught or called out for their… stuff. Or as All in the Family’s Archie Bunker once eloquently stated nationwide on CBS –TV in the early 1970s:
She (Eleanor Roosevelt) was the one who discovered the coloreds in this country. We never knew they was there!
When you talk crap so publicly so often and gain any sort of success or profile (Note: Or even if you are unknown and just say it too loud or to the wrong person) you get held accountable for your actions these days.
On the same token, when YOU are the one to bring up what someone said and challenge them on it it’s likely you will get called out in some corners for being the PC police. That pejorative is sort of like the alt-middle version of fake news but without the knee-jerk mass revulsion now finally beginning to be associated with Trumpism.
I will not rest until the Oscars are hosted by the cast of Love Simon, the ghost of Harvey Milk and the entire executive board of Planned Parenthood.
Yet, when we face the issue, we can see how one is the outgrowth of the other.
When someone tells you — Racism, sexism, homophobia – we just weren’t aware of this stuff pre 1960’s. It was a different time – you can answer : Yeah, you did and well, sure it was. What was different is that people didn’t make fun en masse about your minority group because you won the genetic lottery ticket of the moment that excluded you from marginalization. (Note: Or you were in the majority).
So, big congrats on that.
To which they might answer:
But before we complain and lament about oversensitivity and political correctness –can’t we joke about anything, anymore???
“Everyone is just SO sensitive” says the white men who lament a “War on Christmas” #HappyHolidays
To which you reply: Okay, but let’s look at what’s being asked for. All that’s being asked for is – a look.
I got called out on social media this week by one woman who wrote that as a Jewish person she’s heard many celebrities go on anti-Semitic rants, including members of the LGBTQ community and that SHEnever asked that they not work.
Oh lady, I haven’t had enough coffee to deal with you
Well, no one is saying Kevin Hart should never work. I mean, I’m not hiring him but, hey… knock yourself out, he’s a movie star…ish. He’s just not the right host for the Oscars. Would you want Mel Gibson hosting the Oscars, lady???
Not to mention, you HAVE to know I’m Jewish. Who else but a Jewish gay man from New York with the insatiable need to always have the last word would ever take the time to answer you back so incessantly, Ms. Laurie Freedman Fannin?!
Oh yes, that is her real name. Look her up on Facebook. Especially if you agree with me. Please.
LOL, you shady Chair, you!!
The real point is, any of the above-mentioned information about Mr. Hart, et. al was available to the Academy through a quick Google search weeks, months and years before they made that choice. You can be edgy, more than edgy, and still proceed with due diligence and basic consideration.
This is how we get to Wanda Sykes, Tiffany Haddish and Viola Davis.
Here for this!
All women in the #MeToo era.
All people of color in a year when Black Panther and BlackkKlansman seem like sure bet nominees (and perhaps winners in multiple categories).
Wanda Sykes – One of the best standups in the country who happens to be an out lesbian, thus satisfying the mantra of trying to get a comedian host and knowing there are also multiple LGBTQ themed films that will receive nominations.
I’m on my way!
Viola Davis – A past Oscar WINNER (Fences) and multi-nominee (The Help, Doubt) who has had a hit show, How to Get Away With Murder, on ABC (the network that also broadcasts the Oscars) for the past five years.
You know Annalise would slay #nobrainer
Tiffany Haddish – A younger comic actress who WON the prestigious New York Film Critics award last year for a breakout performance (Girl’s Trip) and now STARS in her own movies. In fact, her latest is the current box-office hit, Night School, where she gets to beat the crap out of Kevin Hart!
Heck knows, I’m not that smart. I just put in a tiny bit of thought on the matter and used The Google.
You’d think the Academy would do the same. Or would you?
Full confession: I’m an average Oscar prognosticator. This means in some years I’m above 90% and in others it’s the 70% range. This gives me a median grade of “B” – a mere average GPA where I grew up. And you wonder why I call myself The Chair.
Still, I feel particularly lucky this year because it seems inevitable that this is the year for my favorite film of 2016 – La La Land. Oh yeah, hiss and boo your own selves as Bette Midler once retorted to her audience in her priceless eighties comedy album Mud Will Be Flung Tonight (“and into the faces of some of your favorites”). And you wonder why I love Bette Midler.
In any event, I will not allow my love of all things La La Land to influence my predictions. After all, there are pools to be won, money to be made and schadenfreude to be enjoyed post ceremonies – hopefully by me. Though it might be better to direct one’s anger at The Darth Vader of the White House (Note: So many to choose from there) rather than at a movie that only asks you to let go and allow yourself to be transported for a couple of hours. Translation to the haters: Stop being such a tight ass, Ingrid, it’s only a movie.
Okay, here goes:
Hell or High Water
La La Land
Manchester by the Sea
WINNER: La La Land
Best is certainly a relative word and you won’t get any argument here that La La Land is certainly the least dramatic of the bunch. Which doesn’t make it the least timely or important. In the age of – well, the age we’re in – I often have to remind myself it all starts with a dream.
Casey Affleck, Manchester by the Sea
Andrew Garfield, Hacksaw Ridge
Ryan Gosling, La La Land
Viggo Mortensen, Captain Fantastic
Denzel Washington, Fences
WINNER: Denzel Washington, Fences
It could certainly go to Casey Affleck as many are saying. But there is something about the way he breathed new life into such a difficult character, coupled with the unfortunate age we’re living in, that seems to make it Denzel Washington’s here. It also helps that he was the surprise winner of this year’s SAG trophy in that category, the single largest voting block in the Motion Picture Academy.
Isabelle Huppert, Elle
Ruth Negga, Loving
Natalie Portman, Jackie
Emma Stone, La La Land
Meryl Streep, Florence Foster Jenkins
WINNER: Emma Stone, La La Land
She’s the heart and soul of the film. She puts a face on the enthusiasm and sadness and superficiality and disillusionment and triumph of a life lived in L.A. Yes, that’s a compliment. And she sings just fine. Watch how she does the Academy nominated song Audition again. And then, hiss and boo your own selves.
Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
Jeff Bridges, Hell or High Water
Lucas Hedges, Manchester by the Sea
Dev Patel, Lion
Michael Shannon, Nocturnal Animals
WINNER: Mahershala Ali, Moonlight
I turned to my husband when Ali was onscreen and said this guy is the most real actor I have ever seen. He deserves an Oscar for this. And who the hell is he??? It’s not that the other performances weren’t great in their own ways. It’ s just if there has to be a best, he’s it and the majority of the Academy will be smart enough to know it.
NO ONE cries as good as Viola. NO. ONE. #allthefeels
Viola Davis, Fences
Naomie Harris, Moonlight
Nicole Kidman, Lion
Octavia Spencer, Hidden Figures
Michelle Williams, Manchester by the Sea
WINNER: Viola Davis, Fences
Let’s not spend a lot of time on this. She’s won all the other honors and EVERYONE wants to hear her speech. ‘Enuf said.
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Mel Gibson, Hacksaw Ridge
Barry Jenkins, Moonlight
Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
Denis Villeneuve, Arrival
WINNER: Damien Chazelle, La La Land
There are so many reasons Damien Chazelle deserves to win this award whether his film is your cuppa or not. Imagine making a love letter to Los Angeles that is adored around the world ($250,000,000 plus worldwide gross and counting). Consider the chances of getting exactly the right chemistry in what is essentially a two-person film and then creating enough visual imagery to not only compliment them and the story but also dazzle us without breaking the fourth wall of our dreams? Then add to it that he’s only 32 years old and was already nominated once in this category for Whiplash. And several weeks ago won in this category for La La Land. You’re still not convinced? ….Bitter, table for one….
Kubo and the Two Strings, Travis Knight and Arianne Sutner
Moana, John Musker, Ron Clements and Osnat Shurer
My Life as a Zucchini, Claude Barras and Max Karli
The Red Turtle, Michael Dudok de Wit and Toshio Suzuki
Zootopia, Byron Howard, Rich Moore and Clark Spencer
This year is all about marginalization on a MASSIVE scale. So it’s Zooptopia all the way. Not to mention, using animals make it easier for us to think about such things are less outwardly political and therefore more than acceptable as the winner in the animation category.
Get the engraver ready
Eric Heisserer, Arrival
August Wilson, Fences
Allison Schroeder and Theodore Melfi, Hidden Figures
Luke Davies, Lion
Barry Jenkins; Story by Tarell Alvin McCraney, Moonlight
WINNER: Barry Jenkins; Story by Tarell Alvin McCraney, Moonlight
The most unusual and innovative script in the category and the Academy WANTS to honor a film so unlikely to emerge into the national consciousness. There will be tumultuous applause for this win – and deservedly so. The deceptive simplicity in the storytelling is the movie’s principle strength.
The writing in this scene alone. #ohboy #willdestroyyou
Mike Mills, 20th Century Women
Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water
Damien Chazelle, La La Land
Yorgos Lanthimos, Efthimis Filippou, The Lobster
Kenneth Longergan, Manchester by the Sea
WINNER: Kenneth Lonergan, Manchester by the Sea
This is tricky but it’s doubtful the Academy will send something so sadly powerful and original home without something. That said, a significant group loves Hell or High Water and there could be a La La Land sweep. In the end, however, Manchester is exactly the type of movie industry voters go for in terms of writing.
Meet you on the pier in 5 minutes. #Ryguy
Bradford Young, Arrival
Linus Sandgren, La La Land
Greig Fraser, Lion
James Laxton, Moonlight
Rodrigo Prieto, Silence
WINNER:Linus Sandgren, La La Land
It will come down to a race between Arrival and La La Land. Both brought you into brilliantly invented and compelling visual landscapes. But how do you vote against floating into the sky in the Griffith Park Observatory?
Best Documentary Feature
This time with less Sarah Paulson.
13th, Ava DuVernay, Spencer Averick and Howard Barish
Fire at Sea, Gianfranco Rosi and Donatella Palermo
I Am Not Your Negro, Raoul Peck, Remi Grellety and Hebert Peck
Life, Animated, Roger Ross Williams and Julie Goldman
O.J.: Made in America, Ezra Edelman and Caroline Waterlow
WINNER: O.J.: Made in America, Ezra Edelman and Caroline Waterlow
It’s not so much about O.J. but telling the story of race in America through his life. I really resisted being in the guy’s presence for nine hours more but there is a reason this work has been so lauded and why after a few minutes you can’t take your eyes away from the Shakespearean tragedy of it all.
Best Documentary Short Subject
4.1 Miles, Daphne Matziaraki
Extremis, Dan Krauss
Joe’s Violin, Kahane Cooperman and Raphaela Neihausen
Watani: My Homeland, Marcel Mettelsiefen and Stephen Ellis
The White Helmets, Orlando von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara
WINNER: The White Helmets, Orlando von Einsiedel and Joanna Natasegara
Any other year the sentiments in Joe’s Violin, which manages to give us a story about Holocaust remembrance we’ve never seen before, would win out. But given the currently charged political NOW, the shocking tragedies of Syrian genocide won’t and shouldn’t be ignored.
Best Live Action Short Film
The official pool killing category
Ennemis Interieurs, Selim Azzazi
La Femme et le TGV, Timo von Gunten and Giacun Caduff
Silent Nights, Aske Bang and Kim Magnusson
Sing, Kristof Deak and Anna Udvardy
Timecode, Juanjo Gimenez
WINNER: Ennemis Interieurs, Selim Azzazi
Immigration, fascism, France and the next anticipated sweep of white nationalism. This should be the winner unless voters use this one category to opt out for the more fanciful Timecode and the bullying themes of Sing. Yes, I saw all five of these. Don’t act so surprised.
Best Animated Short
Pixar does it again
Blind Vaysha, Theodore Ushev
Borrowed Time, Andrew Coats and Lou Hamou-Lhadj
Pear Cider and Cigarettes, Robert Valley and Cara Speller
Pearl, Patrick Osborne
Piper, Alan Barillaro and Marc Sondheimer
WINNER: Piper, Alan Barillaro and Marc Sondheimer
After numerous recent losses in this category it’s Pixar’s year. And I seldom bet against some of the best storytellers in the biz. Yeah, you read that right.
Best Foreign Language Film
A Man Called Ove, Sweden
Land of Mine, Denmark
The Salesman, Iran
Toni Erdmann, Germany
WINNER: The Salesman, Iran
An excellent group that makes you wish there were more American movies that tackled this many diverse and difficult subjects. But the real life attempt of the current White House to question the freedom of people like the Iranian director of The Salesman – Asghar Farhadi – to visit the US will push him over the top. That said, I LOVED A Man Called Ove. So go see that one too.
Joe Walker, Arrival
John Gilbert, Hacksaw Ridge
Jake Roberts, Hell or High Water
Tom Cross, La La Land
Nat Sanders and Joi McMillon, Moonlight
WINNER: Tom Cross, La La Land
How the guy managed to put together the disparate tones of La La Land together and have it make any sense at all, much less be so continuously charming in its telling of the ultimate seamless dream, is just one of many reasons. Don’t vote against it despite the upset others may be predicting.
They call me mellow yellow
Patrice Vermette, Paul Hotte, Arrival
Stuart Craig, Anna Pinnock, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Jess Gonchor, Nancy Haigh, Hail, Caesar!
David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco, La La Land
Guy Hendrix Dyas, Gene Serdena, Passengers
WINNER: David Wasco, Sandy Reynolds-Wasco, La La Land
If it were just the designers voting it might be Passengers or Arrival. But it takes equal if not more talent to make L.A. dreamy, superficial AND yet seductively believable – at least to us masses.
Mica Levi, Jackie
Justin Hurwitz, La La Land
Dustin O’Halloran and Hauschka, Lion
Nicholas Britell, Moonlight
Thomas Newman, Passengers
WINNER: Justin Hurwitz, La La Land
Score means music and it’s a MUSICAL that is going to be the best picture of 2016. So don’t argue on this one.
“Audition (The Fools Who Dream),” La La Land — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul
“Can’t Stop the Feeling,” Trolls— Music and Lyric by Justin Timberlake, Max Martin and Karl Johan Schuster
“City of Stars,” La La Land — Music by Justin Hurwitz; Lyric by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul
“The Empty Chair,” Jim: The James Foley Story — Music and Lyric by J. Ralph and Sting
“How Far I’ll Go,” Moana — Music and Lyric by Lin-Manuel Miranda
WINNER: “City of Stars,” La La Land, Justin Hurwitz, Benj Pasek and Justin Paul.
Everyone wants Lin-Manuel to win his EGOT and he will – but not this year. The soundtrack to La La Land has been playing continuously in my car for the last two months and I listen to it at the gym. So maybe I’m not the one to ask in this category. Or perhaps I am. And yes, they can sing. It’s called ACT(s)ING.
Makeup and Hair
I’ll bet on the Jennifer Lawrence alien one
A Man Called Ove, Eva von Bahr and Love Larson
Star Trek Beyond, Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo
Suicide Squad, Alessandro Bertolazzi, Giorgio Gregorini and Christopher Nelson
WINNER: Star Trek Beyond, Joel Harlow and Richard Alonzo,
I have NO idea but everyone says Star Trek so let’s go with that.
Get it girls!
Allied, Joanna Johnston
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Colleen Atwood
Florence Foster Jenkins, Consolata Boyle
Jackie, Madeline Fontaine
La La Land, Mary Zophre
WINNER: La La Land, Mary Zophre
I want Ryan Gosling’s wardrobe. Or perhaps it’s just Ryan Gosling. And Emma Stone managed to look luminous without emanating fake glamour. It was dreamy and real all at once. Can these guys design something for me and my best girlfriend HUSBAND when we film our romantic fantasy?
A pretty safe bet
Deepwater Horizon, Craig Hammack, Jason Snell, Jason Billington and Burt Dalton
Doctor Strange, Stephane Ceretti, Richard Bluff, Vincent Cirelli and Paul Corbould
The Jungle Book, Robert Legato, Adam Valdez, Andrew R. Jones and Dan Lemmon
Kubo and the Two Strings, Steve Emerson, Oliver Jones, Brian McLean and Brad Schiff
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, John Knoll, Mohen Leo, Hal Hickel and Neil Corbould
WINNER: The Jungle Book, Stephane Ceretti, Richard Bluff, Vincent Cirelli and Paul Corbould,
Not a clue because I didn’t see any of them but EVERYONE says The Jungle Book.
In lieu of anything Mel Gibson related, here’s a fine pic of Jon Hamm
Arrival, Sylvain Bellemare
Deep Water Horizon, Wylie Stateman and Renee Tondelli
Hacksaw Ridge, Robert Mackenzie and Andy Wright
La La Land, Ai-Ling Lee and Mildred Iatrou Morgan
Sully, Alan Robert Murray and Bub Asman
WINNER: Hacksaw Ridge, Robert Mackenzie and Andy Wright
I know little about sound editing and will never see another Mel Gibson movie again so don’t trust me here. But war movies are hard to beat in this category and all the smart money says that the anti-war, war film makes you feel like you’re there.
I wouldn’t know.
Play me a song, Piano Man
Arrival, Bernard Gariepy Strobl and Claude La Haye
Hacksaw Ridge, Kevin O’Connell, Andy Wright, Robert Mackenzie and Peter Grace
La La Land, Andy Nelson, Ai-Ling Lee and Steve A. Morrow
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, David Parker, Christopher Scarabosio and Stuart Wilson