Trump – Page 12 – notes from a chair

Hi Everyone — Chair here.

So after almost four glorious years of outrageously defying the odds, it finally happened — and it was the Lady Eris (EG.5) strain that caught me.

Yes —

I have COVID.

First — I’m okay. Not comfortable but not extremely sick. It sucks but when you quickly take Paxlovid they say it reduces symptoms and quickens the recovery.

Second — this means that there are all kinds of things I don’t get to discuss in the rant I had planned for this week.

Like —

1. What the f-k Drew Barrymore* and Bill Maher? Why are you resuming your talk shows without your writers at a key moment in the WGA and SAG strike against the let ‘em eat cake Gilded Age class currently running the streamers and studios?

And don’t tell us it’s for the small crews on your shows. You are both worth well in excess of $120 million and counting. You could continue to write them a few more checks to tide them over for a few more weeks or months.

Unless it’s that difficult for certain PERFORMERS – like you two – to be OUT of the spotlight for this long?

Right, that couldn’t be it.

*apparently Drew has decided not to resume her show (see Exhibit A). I’m still mad at her so I stand by what I said.

2. Holy hell, new host of Meet The Press, Kristen Welker. You’re ceding the floor on your very first show by having Trump on as your inaugural guest??? And worse yet, playing second fiddle to Megyn Kelly, who already landed a one-on-one interview with, um, h-him, that aired earlier this week on her Sirius XM radio show.

Oh please, it’s not different because you’re on TV. These days NOTHING is JUST radio. You can WATCH HER ENTIRE SHOW live via You Tube (Note: Be advised, she knew in advance it’d be broadcast because she’s in full makeup. And… so is Megyn).

3. Speaking of full make-up (and not much else) how do you resist talking about Congresswoman Lauren Boebert getting ejected from a touring company production of Beetlejuice in Denver for vaping and causing a ruckus as her date’s hand veered towards her breast and she grabbed his hand, guided him closer and put it there?

And how would you begin to explain she’s even a sitting 2023 congresswoman to so many absent friends and family members? Though, how could you explain so many things???

4. And then comes the announcement that Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness have broken up after 27 years of marriage.

I always kind of loved them as a couple because the outside world (Note: née – us) always found it all so unlikely since he’s 13 years younger and she seemed to be having so much fun with it all while aging like a semi-normal person.

In fact, they both seemed to be having a lot of fun.

Just be happy you two, together or apart.

But if anything happens to Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, I won’t be so Zen because it will surely be ALL OF OUR FAULTS.

I could go on and on but I won’t. Except to say, be careful out there.

I was one of the few still wearing a mask in public indoor places (Note: For the most part). The latter note could be what got me – or maybe it was simply my time. Nevertheless, get the booster as soon as you can because now I have to wait THREE F’N MONTHS TO GET IT!!!

And be well.

I will check-in next week. Right now I’m getting back in touch with my Jewish roots by watching The Fabelmans on cable for the third time (Shana Tova everyone!). This follows last night, where I viewed the first two new episodes of season three of The Morning Show (Note: No one says f-ck you to and about men better or more unexpectedly than Jennifer Aniston). And then, in a stupor, fell asleep all alone in my bed (Note: The hubby does NOT have COVID) to reruns of The Nanny.

No comment on the latter. For now.

The Nanny Theme Song

Here’s a great and meaningful story this week that’s not about that big, bloated news hog.

Four children were rescued in Colombia’s Amazon jungle, surviving alone for 40 DAYS after their plane crashed last month.

That crash killed all three adults onboard, including their mother.

But the kids – aged 13, 9. 4 and 1 – lived due to the knowledge and skill they acquire at a young age as members of the Huitoto Indigenous tribe.

What this means is that they are taught almost from birth about the environment and life they are born into.

That includes:

– Navigating the terrain of their natural habitat.

– Learning basic survival skills in the forest, including how to resist predators and being handy enough with a knife to wield against the 80 varieties of snakes, many of the poisonous, that slither every day all around them.

As well as —

– Leadership qualities, handed down by their elders, that will enable them to save, protect and most of all inspire the youngest of their citizenry.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could offer some, or even any, of the same here?

I’ve been hearing about the Twisted Moron of Mar-A-Lago since I was a teenager in Queens. Only then he was known as the Obnoxious, Off-Putting Oaf of New York, a live action comic book version of everything people born and bred in the Big Apple DIDN’T want to be.

As Fran Le i bowitz once so aptly quipped:

(He’s)… a poor person’s idea of a rich person.

They see him. They think, ‘If I were rich, I’d have a fabulous tie like that. Why are my ties not made of 400 acres of polyester?’ All that stuff he shows you in his house- the gold faucets – if you won the lottery, that’s what you’d buy.”

Well, this week we got a look at one of the gold faucets thanks to a 49 page historic indictment that charges the Gold Gilded Goblin with conspiracy and obstruction of justice; willful retention of national defense information (including top secret nuclear and military strategies); concealing documents in a federal investigation; and giving false statements and representations, among other things.

Together, the charges carry maximum penalties of many dozens of years in prison.

Not even the Decapitated Colonel of Coarseness and Corruption could carry on if convicted at the age of 76 – or 77 – or 78 – depending on when a verdict is rendered and his many appeals are exhausted.

Not that it will get to that point, which, at this point, is not really the point at all.

Yet it is the reason why the bubbling bile is boiling over all of us at such a furious pace these last few days. The Comb Over King of Contempt is freaked out and striking back everywhere.

Ostensibly it’s on behalf of the hunting down of all of his fellow Witches. But we present and former New Yorkers (Note: And those of you who follow us) know all the bloviating is really his personal three-card-monte manipulation for his own personal freedom so he can continue to do and fleece and be exactly anything he wants the way he always has.

If crashing the plane of American democracy is the seeming cost, well that’s a lie.

It’s a simple, and digestible and absolutely true on-brand message, right?

No person has EVER been so persecuted as a man born into a billion dollar family who never paid a bill he didn’t like and has the receipts from all three of his own bankruptcies to prove it.

Up is down and down is up as Lewis Carroll once so poetically taught us in Alice In Wonderland.

A lovely and creative thought but at this point knife skills might have been better.

No, not literally. Figuratively.

As dictated by the terrain that has perhaps been permanently poisoned by the Noxious Know Nothing Neanderthal of Neener Neener Land (Note: The latter being Rachel Maddow’s acerbic technical term for the petty revenge that seems to continuously drive said Neanderthal).

Though perhaps the toxicity is not irreversible.

READ the very, very readable indictment provided by Jack Smith (Note: Not to be confused with the great NYC avant-garde artist) and decide for yourself.

It’s got pictures and everything.

Including a golden faucet.

“In A World of My Own” – Alice in Wonderland

notes from a chair

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