Commercialism

Super Bowl Sunday means a lot to a lot of people.   Especially the American people. 

We can opine on why football has managed to supplant baseball as our national pastime or discuss how one single game of the sport has become a cultural and television phenomenon across the country, often far outdistancing the single day viewership of anything else on television – or anywhere.

But the result will be the same.

It is and it does.

I get it

And I say this as a boy who was weaned on and obsessed with a different sporting event that, at the time, was THE other big, dependable cultural and ratings touchstone – the Oscars.

Yeah, if you’re over 50 and, um, artistic, you’ll know what I mean. 

Ah, yes, we know.

And if you’re Gen X or under you are now rolling your eyes.

Or continuing to roll them even faster because you don’t watch anything on “TV” anymore.

Nevertheless,  just know the 9-year-old inside me still distinctly remembers the thrill of Julie Andrews’ 1965 best actress Oscar win for Mary Poppins and totally missed Vince Lombardi’s Green Bay Packers’ 23-12 Super Bowl victory over the Cleveland Browns that year (Note: I googled it) AS WELL AS Cleveland running back Jim Brown being awarded NFL’s MVP award for his performance in that game (Note: Googled that one, too).

I could even tell you who presented Julie with her Academy Award and what she wore that evening WITHOUT googling it but that would be overkill.

Sidney Poitier and a long gown, gloves and a huge sparkling necklace

Such is the case with the details of yearly cultural phenomenons so many of us look forward to and become obsessed with over our lifetimes.

The Oscars grew from honoring mere movie excellence to watching the unfolding of a series of American success stories that also encompassed fashion, fame, glamour and lots and lots of money.

The Super Bowl began as a way to determine the top dog in football and also grew to symbolize American excellence, as well as its own kind of fame, glamour and, yes, fashion, as well as many, many, MANY bucket loads of money for the lucky few who emerged as the victors.

This jacket, from a few weeks ago, is a perfect example

I mean even me, an absolute non-football watcher, has turned into a person that almost every year manages to catch some small portion of the… show.

Notice I didn’t say game because for some of us fans it’s not about the game at all.  

It’s about the spectacle of people falling over themselves in obsession over that year’s player de jour (Note:  GO, TRAVIS! WHERE’S TAYLOR?  IF YOU WIN, ARE YOU PROPOSING??)

If you can’t love this, your heart is made of stone

It’s about the reveal of the potentially kick-ass or ass-wipe half time show (Note: Usher?  Well, that one can go either way, though I’ve already placed MY bet).

And perhaps most importantly, it’s about…THE COMMERCIALS.

No, not about how commercial the winning movie or team is or will be, but the actual COMMERCIALS.

I love TV

Who doesn’t remember football’s beer-promoting Clydesdale horses, Betty White getting energized by a Snickers bar or, even if you weren’t there and had to google it (or did so after you were told about it),  Apple’s famous, as well as ominous, 1984 tease of its very FIRST Macintosh computer?

When you think about it, this is both fascinating and strange.  Strange because if you put the 32 franchises of the NFL together, their monetary worth has been estimated in excess of $10 Billion dollars.  For that amount of money, you’d think the actual game, or its result, would be THE single THING.

Not so much, Chairy

But nothing is that simple anymore.  Not the Oscars.  And most certainly not the Super Bowl.  Which is what makes it fascinating.

This is not to take anything away from the millions of fans who primarily only care about whether the Kansas City Chiefs or the San Francisco 49ers will emerge victorious by the end of Super Bowl 2024. (Note: I actually didn’t HAVE to google who was playing, which shows just how much I and football have evolved).

It is only to proclaim that like most everything else in the pop culture landscape, it is not only the elite talent on display in our little version of contemporary Roman Coliseum-esque competition and competitors. 

It is about how much else we look forward to consuming (Note: And will eventually devour) on this particular day, in addition to the fantasy of fame, fortune, money and a ring.

And bonus cute snacks!!

It is about who or what can tempt us with the best ads for insurance (Note: This year it’s hands down State Farm and Arnold Schwarzenegger), take-out food (Jennifer Aniston and David Schwimmer are the big winners for Uber Eats) or mobile phone providers (Note: A celebrity packed group of pitch people led by Bradley Cooper and his Mom, the two lead guys from Suits, Laura Dern and Common take the prize for T Mobile).

Of course, none of them will be working as hard as the players on the field but they sure will be paid well, and in some cases, better.

Sports movies!

But only because a ton of sophisticated research has shown WE are tuning in for A LOT more than the results of this one game.

Which is to say, in many ways, our fantasies have been granted.  WE have BECOME the game.

And VERY big game we are.

(Note:  Okay, if you are among the handful of folks left who MUST see the commercials before, or without, watching the game, here are a few links:

Super Bowl 2024 ads, part 1

Super Bowl 2024 ads, part 2

Taylor Swift – “…Ready for It?”

Not a Happy Camper

I never thought I’d be inspired by a quote from a military guy.  I’m the least military that you can be.  Order me to do something and I’ll do the opposite.

This goes as far back as I can remember.   When my parents ordered me to go to the sleepaway camp they were about to register me for when I was 11 years old, I looked at them steely-eyed for a good long 10 seconds.  Then I told them I’d run away and come home every single day I was there no matter how many times they brought me back.  If they didn’t let me in, I’d find friends or relatives to stay with.  If they wouldn’t have me, I’d sleep on the streets.  And I would have had they not relented.

Does it look like I’m screwing around mom??

This was not merely because I was defiant.  In actuality, I was a bit of a wuss considering I came of age in the sixties and seventies.  I was scared to take drugs, never cut school or lied to my Mom AND didn’t figure out sex until I was out of my teenage years (Note: And, ahem, even beyond).

What I did have were good instincts.  This has helped me through my entire life when facing big decisions.  And when you’re 11 years old there is no bigger decision than sleepaway camp.

It’s all very dramatic

I knew that as an uncoordinated, sports-hating, mouthy, stubborn, sassy pants who was secretly attracted to boys but didn’t yet have a word for it, I would never survive what I even then considered the camps.  They might be right for some kids but for me – no way.  It wasn’t even on the table.  I knew the difference between right and wrong deep down in my soul and this was definitely WRONG.

Here’s what Gen. Marty Dempsey, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, tweeted out several days ago:

The art of decision-making. When making big decisions, block out the background noise, take stock in what you know, check your instincts, and then decide. It’s important to remember that just because something is loud and repetitious doesn’t mean it’s right… …more than any other feedback, in a world of intense scrutiny and super-charged emotion, how we make important choices tells us who we are and what we hold most important.

This deserves the Meryl seal of approval

This might seem a strange way to get everyone to VOTE but I don’t think so.  You are at the precipice faced by many 11 year olds.  Sleepaway camp or NO sleep away camp.

Of course I realize that not every kid is fortunate or unfortunate enough to have the option.  I also get that local charities raise money just so these kids can get away for a month or two in the summer and enjoy themselves.

Or be tortured.

I imagine my letters from camp would have been exactly like this (from the brilliant Lin Manuel Miranda)

The point is that in a perfect world, the one where EVERY KID has AN OPTION, there will be a significant number, likely more than you think, that would vote to reject the camps and instead choose the steamy city streets.

The world is composed of camp kids and CAMP(Y) kids, if you get the drift, and each one is entitled to some say in creating a life that reflects their reality.

When we’re 11 years old, we don’t always get this choice.  But once we turn 18, we ALWAYS get a VOTE.

ALWAYS.

That is, unless we CHOOSE not to.

Sure, we live in a messy, turbulent world, particularly at the moment, where the choices available are not always the best.

This is real. #tuneout #tunein

You can have what’s in the box or what’s behind the curtain and they both feel like booby prizes, especially since once you accept one you also have to pay taxes on it. #NoDeal.

But, well, you don’t really think I wanted to stay home with my mother when I was 11 years old in the heat of NYC, do you?  Still, it was way, way, wayyyyy better than being stuck up in the woods having to play baseball everyday.  Or sleep in a barracks without being able to listen to my beloved movie soundtrack of Mary Poppins.

Oh Chairy, you flatter me so

Not to mention, that summer I learned how to roller skate (Note: With a metal key), and made friends with a brother and sister who had just that summer moved into my neighborhood.

I even learned that contrary to the custom in my family, you don’t always call your adult friends’ mothers by their first names.  In fact, I will never forget the expression on the face of that brother and sister’s Mom when I casually addressed her as Pat and she turned to ME steely-eyed and said, Call me, MRS. Marshall.

I’ll just show myself out #SorryMrsMarshall

To this day I am very careful when addressing those older than myself to always err on the side of formality.   At least, at first.    And you’d be surprised how much it’s helped.  Whenever I dated anyone, their parents ALWAYS loved me.

No one is saying that there are not moments to abstain from action or refrain from even voicing your opinion.  But this is not one of them.

Some moments in your life it is best simply sit back and follow the lead of those older and more experienced than yourself.

self awareness is also key

Then there are other times, the ones where you are REQUIRED to speak up for own self-preservation.

Or risk being sent to a CAMP that is wrong for you.  One that goes against EVERYTHING you innately are.

Colonel Bogey March