Hollywood from the Couch

I spent part of this weekend binge-watching the first three episodes of the new, gay-themed Canadian sports romance series, Heated Rivalry, on HBO despite being told the death of the movies was upon us.

Once again.

In any other era this would be sacrilegious for a movie lover.

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Allow me to explain

The funereal panic was related to the announcement that Netflix was buying Warner Bros. Discovery for the incomprehensible price (NOTE: To me, anyway.  I’m still smarting over $10 eggs) of $82.7 billion. A pending deal that, according to the N.Y. Times, could redefine Hollywood and the broader media landscape.

I have no doubt the above is true since Hollywood and media has been consistently redefining itself every couple of years since I first became professionally involved with it in the late 1970s.

Yes, I have all the career, financial and personal battle scars to prove it.  And one night, over cocktails, I’ll tell you all about if you so desire.  

all about eve gifs Page 2 | WiffleGif
Maybe some snowy night by the fire…

But more to the point, I have all the iterations of media and my own work to prove it.

Unopened boxes in my closet that contain VHS recordings of rare movies taped from network TV, cassette and eight tracks of movie soundtracks (Note: And more than a few vinyl records), a neatly tied bundle of laser discs (Note: A very short but very cool tech period, in my humble opinion), many drawers of CD movie themes/songs I bought or were sent to me from studios during awards seasons or for promotional purposes, and several walls full of DVDs my husband and I love having on hand even though three quarters of them are available on streaming services.

Add to that hundreds of original screenplays, pilots and treatments (Note: Several dozens of them my own) of very good work that was never made because they weren’t big enough, commercial enough, contemporary enough, relatable enough, young enough or just plain enough enough for the theatrical film market as it stood at the time.

Speaking for those projects that I DID NOT write, since no one can be objective about their own work, I promise you that determination is and was BULLSH-T since all of them could have been enough if given the chance.

Hi! I'm Anxiety. — World of Miley
Ya got that right

But, of course, it depends on what you mean by enough.  My definition is a film, or potential film or film element, that is entertaining or meaningful or satisfying to  group of people other than your friends and relatives. 

The theatrical deciders’ definition is a piece of material that will make them unlimited scads of money for the smallest amount of risk despite the tried and true adage, Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

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Main priority

Meaning, screenwriter William Goldman’s summation of the movie business and all its marketplace gatekeepers in his seminal 1983 memoir Adventures in the Screen Trade still, and perennially, applies:

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

What especially no one knows anymore is what a movie is by 2025 and beyond standards and how it should or will be consumed. (Note:  Consumed?  What a horrible but applicable choice of words, as if we’re eating soylent green, though in a sense we are).

The chief complaint about Netflix and other streaming platforms is that their mere existence spells the death knell of the movie business, and the fact that it’s gobbling up one of what remains of a handful of big Hollywood studios ushers in the end of “movies.”

Well the view from my office would certainly change

After all, what incentive does Netflix have for people to watch a film outside of their homes, in a theatre (aka, the definition of a “real” movie)?

About as much as David Zaslav, a former cable/streaming exec who was put in charge of theatrical when he was made CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery in 2022 cares about it. 

Skeletor From Masters Of The Universe Trivia
His company portrait

Though probably more, since one of Zaslav’s first acts when put in charge was a cost-cutting measure that would’ve ended the one cable channel most beloved by movie lovers, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), as we know it, until filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Martin Scorsese and others stepped in to exert a little… ahem… pressure.

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Bless you, Marty

This while Netflix stepped up and made movies and deals with some of the top directors in the movie business, including Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Guillermo del Toro (Frankenstein), Rian Johnson (Knives Out II and III) and Greta Gerwig (the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia) and her husband Noah Baumbach (the just-released George Clooney starrer, Jay Kelly). 

All of these films have had or will have theatrical runs of various lengths and all the work of these and most other filmmakers will likely continue to do so.

Are they or will they be as long as they used to be?  Well, um, no.

Debating GIFs | Tenor
I mean… I think I could be OK with that

But to all of the movie consumers out there – nerds, intellectuals, horror fanatics, foreign film fans, the super-hero obsessed or rom-com fanatics – how many times have you uttered these four words in the last number of years:

Is it streaming yet?

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Guilty!

It is worth noting the film most likely to win this year’s best picture Oscar and, for my money, the best film of 2025, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, was a Warner Bros. release that played a mere eight weeks before being available to rent or buy on streamers. 

This is not very long at all by traditional standards. And will undoubtedly vary depending on how much demand there is to see a film and how much money can be made on them.

One Gif After Another : r/paulthomasanderson
… and there he goes

I used to marvel when my parents recounted to me there was a time that they huddled around the RADIO to listen to original serialized storytelling.  The same way I did to my husband a few years ago when I suddenly realized true crime podcasts were becoming the new commercial “thing,” making something very recognizably radio popular again.

Do I long for the old days of movies?

Not so much.

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I’m with Margo

What I long for instead are the days of more good and great movies and less pure commercial garbage for the mythical lowest common denominator, non-thinking international, four quadrant audience.

And on that subject, I’d put more faith in Netflix than in the guy who treated Dr. Pimple Popper and 90 Day Fiancé with the same reverence as a Scorsese or Nolan film when he first listed them on HBO Max.

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Nuff said

Not that there is anything wrong with any film or TV show of any kind. Including the steamy Heated Rivalry, which I have every intention of watching in between this year’s Oscar movies – at the theatre and at home.

On my couch. 

Doom scrolling.

The Beach Boys – “In My Room”

Mr. Scorsese

There are barely a handful of American directors who have been making movies for more than half a century and still working at the top of their craft and Martin Scorsese is one of them.

The rest are these guys

But that’s not the only reason to watch Mr. Scorsese, the excellent five-part documentary of his life and films, now streaming on Apple TV.

Rather it’s the candor in which the director, his family, and his long-time friends and collaborators so openly lift a veil of privacy to share his flaws, his genius, his often volatile nature and lifelong devotion to film, as well as his obsessive fervor and determination to make each of his movies to the absolute best of everyone’s abilities, especially his own.

MR. SCORSESE (2025): New Trailer For Documentary About Film Director Martin  Scorsese… | The Movie My Life
The man behind the eyebrows

Never a part of Hollywood (Note: Whatever that is) and yet an undeniable part of Hollywood film history for present and future generations, Marty, as almost everyone calls him (Note: Except Daniel Day-Lewis, who for some reason only uses the more formal Martin) is that rare documentary subject that emerges not so much noble or admirable but merely very human and very, very, very hard-working. 

So much so that when you’re done with the five-hours it’s hard not to feel you should immediately get to work on your next six projects and begin considering the seven others that could be percolating on the back-burner. (Note: Whether you’re in show business or not).

Get to work Chairy!

Yet as directed by feature filmmaker, documentarian, novelist and former actress Rebecca Miller, Mr. Scorsese, more than anything else, is a true portrait of an artist.

You meet the short, asthmatic kid who grew up in Queens and Little Italy among professional gangsters and street bullies that became the inspiration for so much of the subject matter he covered in movies like Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, Good Fellas and Casino.  But you also meet the devoted Italian Catholic kid who studied for the priesthood and made The Last Temptation of Christ, Kundun and Silence.  Not to mention, the lifelong movie fan who brought his encyclopedic knowledge of cinema to New York, New York, The Color of Money and The Aviator. Even the director-for-hire who was so able to bring himself to other people’s projects –  Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, The King of Comedy and The Departed, to name a few – and transform them into award-winning cinema that captured the zeitgeist of their times.

Cheers to you, Marty

Still, this is not so much a lesson in film history than a fairly unvarnished exploration in what makes a person in the public eye we feel we somewhat “know,” tick.  There are many dozens of interviews, mostly new but others archival, including a significant amount with the director himself, detailing his drug use, periods of clinical depression, faltering marriages and unbridled fits of rage and frustration with not only his career, but his failure at life.

Among them are also a lot of incredibly funny stories about his “lacks,” often told in a self-deprecating manner by Mr. Scorsese himself.  Despite his gargantuan successes, the amount of times the director went from being at the top of the directing heap to virtually “dead” in the business (Note: His words, not mine) become head-spinning and almost comical.  While it doesn’t seem like someone at his “level” (Note: Again, whatever that means) would have to go butt heads with studio moguls or beg for money, Scorsese jokes that he’s been there a lot.  He even recounts one hilarious story where he threw the desk of someone he perceived to be a studio spy out a third floor window, admitting that right after he did it he was told it wasn’t even the right desk.

Oops?

I’ve seen every Scorsese film with the exception od Silence (2016) (Note: Some snowy night in front of the fire, as Joseph Mankiewicz wrote for Margo Channing to say in All About Eve) so by the end of Mr. Scorsese I wondered if there was anything significant I or the documentary hadn’t covered.. 

That is besides his 2024 Chanel commercial with Timothee Chalamet. Note: Ok, here it is:

Turns out there was one thing.

Ten years ago Marty directed an amusing 16 minute short film called The Audition, starring Robert De Niro and Leonardo DiCaprio playing fictional versions of themselves.  It was essentially made as a promotional tool for a new casino in Macau at a reported cost of $70 million, and has never been released theatrically, but, well, okay, you can watch it here:

The premise is that De Niro and DiCaprio arrive separately in Manila, run into each other, and find they’re both up for the same lead role in Scorsese’s next feature film. Written by his Boardwalk Empire collaborator Terrence Winter (Scorsese directed the pilot of the hit HBO series that Winter created, winning an Emmy in the process), it plays on a generational rivalry between the two stars and frequent Scorsese leading men as they try to one-up each other in front of the boss in order to land the role.

Scorsese being… well… Scorsese, even the short doesn’t take the easy way out.  Not only are both stars  full of themselves, but so is the fictional version of the director.  He’s clandestinely pitted them against one other, siding with each in different moments, until finally Brad Pitt shows up to make his cameo appearance by the end (Note: You know he’s coming at some point because he gets third billing). 

After that, well, you can probably figure it out what happens to the two Scorsese veterans.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert De Niro are starring in Martin Scorsese's next  movie
They beat each other up with their awards?

The quick, stylish directorial touches, clever asides (Note: I particularly loved the moment an annoyed De Niro begins imitating DiCaprio in disdain) and morally questionable behavior of the characters of the “director” “and his “actors,” are everything we come to expect from the Scorsese “brand.” (Note: Coined before that term was a de rigueur thing for anyone doing any job in the business).

But what’s most memorable about The Audition is just how keenly aware Mr. Scorsese is of the fact that to be in entertainment industry means that even when you reach the brand level of a Scorsese, you will spend the rest of your life, now and likely well into the hereafter, forever auditioning, often in uncomfortable, demeaning or even faux-demeaning situations.

The question is – will you let it get the best of you, or will you make the best of it?

Liza Minnelli – “New York, New York”