It’s So Meta

The most frightening thing I watched this Halloween weekend was not any one horror movie, in a marathon of movies, but the Mark Zuckerberg replacement of reality with the Metaverse.

This isn’t an anti-gaming crusade or even an anti-Facebook rant against Zuck and his many friends

Nor is it meant to reinforce the mean girl curated social media image of his supposed alien-like appearance.

not that there’s anything wrong with that #channelingmyReginaGeorge

Nor is it even a knock against his status as one of the five richest MEN in the world.

(Note: He’s at $97 B, trailing Bezos ($177 B), Musk ($151 B), Arnault ($150B), and Gates ($124 B) )

It’s a WARNING to everyone that FACEBOOK has NO INTENTION of NOT enabling FAKE NEWS. 

Instead, they want to take this further and build us into a FAKE WORLD.

In essence, the plan is to invest his many billions to capitalize on a virtual reality universe where Facebook backs, empowers, sells and controls as much of the marketplace as possible. 

… the same thing we do every night, Pinky

A planet where we each sit alone in our rooms but live in a pretend state of traveling the world daily.

An existence where we spend our real money on fake things that only the more, or even less, pretty AVATAR version of us can use.

A personally curated (Note: with a lot of help from Facebook and its holdings) version of our life where we believe that what we SEE or HEAR or PARTICIPATE IN through our glasses, headsets and brain harnesses are truly us.

Does no one remember Google Glass?

What Zuck is advancing, and putting his many billions behind, is humanity existing in a space that is now so technologically advanced that real and virtual will merge to the point where which is what will be truly indecipherable. 

And the majority of the goods and services and technological manipulators of this plane will be Facebook financed, controlled or backed derivatives.

EXCELLENT

In his two-hour mind-numbing video where he officially attempts to rebrand Facebook as META, Zuck admits that in many ways this sounds like a science fiction movie.

But he attributes that merely to the fact that technology has not yet advanced far enough on a massive scale for us to be able to truly experience and appreciate what he has in mind.

I beg to differ.

Though I’m far more technologically challenged than Zuck (Note: Though as a fellow pale-skinned N.Y. Jewish guy, he does make me look positively sun-kissed, so I do win on that), I get it. 

I truly do.

What he is proposing is a 2021 reboot of the 1978 remake of a classic 1950s horror film, one that I watched this Hallow’s Eve weekend on Turner Classic Movies –

INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.

AHHHH!!

I actually had NEVER seen the quite compelling and now also classic 1978 film starring Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams and Jeff Goldblum, based on the 1954 horror novel.  But I was familiar with its plot.

A San Francisco health inspector (Note: It’s a doctor in the original) and his female co-worker discover over a few days that humans are being replaced by alien duplicates that are perfect copies of them BUT devoid of human emotion.

In the film this is done through human exposure to tiny, irresistibly fragrant pink flowers, each of which has initially miniscule alien pods with the secret capacity to replicate into ANY ONE OF US if given a googol of a chance.

Welcome to the Metaverse

It’s an insidious little m-f-cker because it was specifically designed to smell that damn good to all of humanity AND can infiltrate that damned fast through the human subconscious. 

And if all of this DOESN’T sound familiar perhaps you are already one of these pod people and the Body Snatchers story was never fiction at all.

Sadly, the longer I live through the 21st century, the more I am sure of exactly that.

Not to bring down the room or tempt any flower on my patio, or virtual reality device within 500 yards…um.. miles.

In any event, here’s what all this, that movie and, consequently, the reimagined Meta of it all, tells me:

Zuck has learned NOTHING from the last four years of misinformation and insurrection enabled by Facebook. 

So lifelike!

Check that, he’s a smart guy so he has learned something.  And that is how to take advantage of what we perceive to be his mistake of allowing a virtually rule-free platform of false information, since doing so might curtail ad revenue from lucrative sources and lower his profit margins. 

So basically what he has decided to do is make it far more difficult for us to spot disinformation since, with extended exposure to this new, proposed Meta lifestyle, our reality will become our Facebook generated Avatar reality. 

And with all of his billions behind all his planned technological advances, this fake existence will become far easier to enable and far more difficult to disengage from (Note: It’s worth noting that the 10 minute section of his presentation addressing policing offers no concrete plans for any enforcement whatsoever but merely advanced the idea that it will take us all TIME to figure this out and that some controls are indeed, encouraged).

I’m with Amy and Tina on this one

Oh, Zuck.

Meanwhile, this new world he touts where we won’t be experiencing the world through videos and social media posts but where YOU WILL BE IN THE EXPERIENCE is pretty darn sparkly.  And in true 21st century entrepreneurial style it will take advantage of where VR is now and harness all of it to make YOUR LIFE FULLER.

Though, I don’t know, is fuller the same as BETTER??? 

Just asking for a friend.

Nevertheless, with the wave of a hand, the flick of a wrist, or merely moving your fingers an eighth of an inch on your pants leg, you will be able to transport your hologram self to Europe in a second, attend a John Baptiste concert with your buddy on the opposite coast AND go to the after party with her (Note: Yes, Mr. Baptiste appears in that video), or type an email merely by thinking about it.  That is if you’ve got the right Ray Ban sunglasses on (Note: Yup, they’re tied in, too.) or the correct mini device on your physical body channeling your brain waves.

Could we use some billions to like… do anything else?

It’s the perfect setup where you can have even the most casual (or business) interactions without ever having to commute and sit in traffic because your AVATAR will do it all while you experience it.  Well, sort of.   And he or she or its non-binary version, if you prefer, can navigate in a nanosecond.  You will feel like you are LIVE…and A-live….with anyone.

But you won’t be.  You will be communicating through IT or, perhaps, a proposed hologram, and begin to believe, through repetition, that this IS…YOU.  Much in the way that many of us believe, through repetition, that a fake news story that isn’t real IS REAL because it’s been repeated so many times.   

Sounds tempting, no?

I’m done here

Not to this still barely human being who admittedly IS spending too much time at home still because of the global pandemic.

On the other hand, by the time this all happens en masse my breed and me will likely be long gone or, at least, on our way out.  

So we won’t be much of a factor.

But don’t say I didn’t warn you about virtually everything.  Assuming you can even remember we had this…um…conversation.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers Scream

Rear view

Screen Shot 2014-11-15 at 10.17.23 PM

I’ve been told one or twice over the years, certainly never more than two times in a 12-month period as far as I can recall, that I have a nice butt.  This is not something I advertise or, really, am particularly proud of.  I don’t do anything to maintain it, I never think about it because, quite frankly, I can’t see it, and certainly it hasn’t really gotten me much that I know of except a few compliments now and again.  The latter has always puzzled me since I would think of all the wonderful things family, friends and the general public could flatter me about this would not be one of them.

Then again, I’m not complaining because as an ex of mine used to jokingly say – though I realized after two years of his bull that this was not really a joke – I accept all free-floating compliments.

How to take a compliment

How to take a compliment

No, this is not a piece about the world’s obsession with Kim Kardashian’s butt.  Though certainly the provocative pictures of her very shiny and – since there’s no other way to say it I will – very large and very toned posterior that was designed to “Break the Internet suggest that if it were I could probably increase my readership at least twenty thousand fold.  Nevertheless, I am still choosing not to go there.  This should not be surprising since I have also opted for so many decades to not do much of anything about the sporadic compliments I have gotten about my own behind.

At the end of the day all this really proves is not only do I know little about generating (m)ass appeal but that I am probably just about the worst person alive to market my own ass(ets).

OK OK we get it...

OK OK we get it…

Still, as a writer and college professor I am a pretty good provocateur and poser of questions.  And while once again I will state this still is not a piece about KK – though she certainly has managed to dominate the proceedings so far, huh? – I can’t help but wonder out loud in print:

  • Why something or someone gets attention in our world?  OR
  • If it’s ever possible to know other than by trial and error and personal taste just what the best subjects, persons and events are to either work on, research or let your eye or mind generally wander to?  AND
  • Once these things get stuck in your craw, which ones will you, not to mention the entire world, choose to indulge in briefly, sporadically, intermittently or endlessly? OH, AND — ONE LAST QUESTION
  • Given the disposable nature of subject matter in our ever-evolving age of information, do any of these decisions or choices even matter?

This all came to mind this week because we people on Earth for the first time in, well, EVER managed to land a spacecraft on a comet.  Not the cleanser but a real live celestial object made of ice, dust and gas located 317 MILLION MILES AWAY.  This alone might not seem exciting to non-science geeks except when we’re told that the constant stream of 24/7 photos from the surface of that non-cleanser just might answer the age-old questions of: how the World began, how Earth was first formed and if humans are the only intelligent beings in the universe.

While NASA/the US is usually in the lead on these types of things it is interesting to note that the achievement of the Rosetta Spacecraft was due to 10 years of perseverance by the European Space Agency.  Not to mention those cheers and congrats of victory took place in Germany and were not in large part due to what we here in the US consider to be our greatest asset – American exceptionalism.

Oh, who cares about that and who says we’re not exceptional – we can still lay claim to Kardashian’s gluteus maximus!  And who says we’re not into science the way we once were when we’re clearly leading in um… anatomy.

You had to know this picture was coming

You had to know this picture was coming

You might dismiss me as Mr. Sarcasmo.  So many of my family and friends have over the years while still sporadically applauding me about my own tushy.  But the facts speak for themselves.  KK’s photo spread (no pun intended) on both the cover and inside the pages of a little known publication called Paper Magazine, is now close to getting 20,000,000 views.  Have there been 20 million views of the comet’s surface or the space probe Rosetta?  Well, perhaps.  But are you willing to take that bet???  No, I didn’t think so.  (Note: And for those who are willing, which of those images were you most excited to see first?  Be honest).

Nope. I won't accept it!

Nope. I won’t accept it!

Well, of course there is a time for science and a time for bottom feeding, right?  Intellectual advancement for mankind does not depend on a majority of us viewing space photos – just on a select few understanding what they mean, interpreting them and advancing knowledge that will cause others to make discoveries for the betterment of mankind.  Other discoveries made by NASA over the years are responsible for the science behind the MRI imaging tests that will likely prolong your life, the artificial limbs that allow those with disabilities to move about like never before, and the clear Invisalign braces that two years ago finally freed me from a lifetime of crooked teeth.  And most of us don’t know how the heck any of them work or why.  Or even care to understand them.

If necessity is the mother of invention, then why care about Rosetta’s photos since clearly there are others around more well-versed than ourselves to do the dirty work?  Meanwhile we get to fantasize endlessly about oiled up derriere photos of… many people – as we simultaneously benefit as a people from the scientific findings of others.

Does this help us focus?

Does this help us focus?

Well, because in the US – as well as many other places in the world – we live in a free society where everyone gets to vote (okay, mostly everyone) and decide how much money goes to science in order to explore.  We also all collectively decide by our voting of what is popular and trending just what the priorities of the world should be and how our time, money and attention will and should be allocated in the future.  Some ancient societies were built by peasants and ruled by royalty who chose to construct up and out.  Other civilizations were and are about survival and the worship of a God, Deity or Figurehead of choice with more of a focus on piety that can get you into the Afterlife rather than what benefits you in your present life.   Some have even chosen to simply revel in the decadence of the day, pleasure seeking and partying their lives away with the most desirable among them – or at least available to them – as long as possible.

Several weeks ago there was an election in the U.S. with the lowest voter turnout in 72 years – meaning only 36% of eligible voters showed up at the polls.   The age group with the lowest turnout figures was those 18-29 years old, accounting for only 21% of all total voters.  When that is broken down to simply Democratic voters, the number drops down to 13%.

Good Grief

Good Grief

This will cause a shift away from issues heavily favored by young people – such as the preservation of the environment.  The new Republican controlled Senate is touting a heavy shift towards oil drilling with a promised passage of the Keystone Pipeline.  In simple terms, that means digging deeper into the Earth than ever before up into Canada in order to excavate as much oil as is inhumanely possible.  It will also mean that the Senator who will be put in charge of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee will be James Inhofe (R- Oklahoma), one of the leading climate change deniers in the country who authored the 2012 book:  The Greatest Hoax:  How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future.

No, I don’t think the majority of young people were spending their time mooning at the backside of KK instead of voting.  Her audience extends far beyond that, and in the case of those photos it could indeed skew a bit older and much more male.  They are also not to blame for our shift away from science to social media.  That’s Mark Zuckerberg’s fault and since he already turned 30 years old in May he’s clearly not so young anymore.

... but I still wear a hoodie everyday

… but I still wear a hoodie everyday

There instead seems to be a mass exit away from…. what shall we call it…. reality and a growing emphasis to a more short-term, pleasure driven, hedonistic – or at least egoistic culture that has ironically been fueled in part by our recent technological advancements.  These toys allow us to watch the trending showdown between the surface of a heavenly body many millions of miles away and Kim Kardashian’s buttocks.  We enjoy each together, alone and apart from the scrutiny of anyone else.

And we enjoy it at our own peril.