Hollywood from the Couch

I spent part of this weekend binge-watching the first three episodes of the new, gay-themed Canadian sports romance series, Heated Rivalry, on HBO despite being told the death of the movies was upon us.

Once again.

In any other era this would be sacrilegious for a movie lover.

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Allow me to explain

The funereal panic was related to the announcement that Netflix was buying Warner Bros. Discovery for the incomprehensible price (NOTE: To me, anyway.  I’m still smarting over $10 eggs) of $82.7 billion. A pending deal that, according to the N.Y. Times, could redefine Hollywood and the broader media landscape.

I have no doubt the above is true since Hollywood and media has been consistently redefining itself every couple of years since I first became professionally involved with it in the late 1970s.

Yes, I have all the career, financial and personal battle scars to prove it.  And one night, over cocktails, I’ll tell you all about if you so desire.  

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Maybe some snowy night by the fire…

But more to the point, I have all the iterations of media and my own work to prove it.

Unopened boxes in my closet that contain VHS recordings of rare movies taped from network TV, cassette and eight tracks of movie soundtracks (Note: And more than a few vinyl records), a neatly tied bundle of laser discs (Note: A very short but very cool tech period, in my humble opinion), many drawers of CD movie themes/songs I bought or were sent to me from studios during awards seasons or for promotional purposes, and several walls full of DVDs my husband and I love having on hand even though three quarters of them are available on streaming services.

Add to that hundreds of original screenplays, pilots and treatments (Note: Several dozens of them my own) of very good work that was never made because they weren’t big enough, commercial enough, contemporary enough, relatable enough, young enough or just plain enough enough for the theatrical film market as it stood at the time.

Speaking for those projects that I DID NOT write, since no one can be objective about their own work, I promise you that determination is and was BULLSH-T since all of them could have been enough if given the chance.

Hi! I'm Anxiety. — World of Miley
Ya got that right

But, of course, it depends on what you mean by enough.  My definition is a film, or potential film or film element, that is entertaining or meaningful or satisfying to  group of people other than your friends and relatives. 

The theatrical deciders’ definition is a piece of material that will make them unlimited scads of money for the smallest amount of risk despite the tried and true adage, Nothing ventured, Nothing gained.

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Main priority

Meaning, screenwriter William Goldman’s summation of the movie business and all its marketplace gatekeepers in his seminal 1983 memoir Adventures in the Screen Trade still, and perennially, applies:

NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING.

What especially no one knows anymore is what a movie is by 2025 and beyond standards and how it should or will be consumed. (Note:  Consumed?  What a horrible but applicable choice of words, as if we’re eating soylent green, though in a sense we are).

The chief complaint about Netflix and other streaming platforms is that their mere existence spells the death knell of the movie business, and the fact that it’s gobbling up one of what remains of a handful of big Hollywood studios ushers in the end of “movies.”

Well the view from my office would certainly change

After all, what incentive does Netflix have for people to watch a film outside of their homes, in a theatre (aka, the definition of a “real” movie)?

About as much as David Zaslav, a former cable/streaming exec who was put in charge of theatrical when he was made CEO of Warner Bros. Discovery in 2022 cares about it. 

Skeletor From Masters Of The Universe Trivia
His company portrait

Though probably more, since one of Zaslav’s first acts when put in charge was a cost-cutting measure that would’ve ended the one cable channel most beloved by movie lovers, TCM (Turner Classic Movies), as we know it, until filmmakers Paul Thomas Anderson and Martin Scorsese and others stepped in to exert a little… ahem… pressure.

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Bless you, Marty

This while Netflix stepped up and made movies and deals with some of the top directors in the movie business, including Martin Scorsese (The Irishman), Guillermo del Toro (Frankenstein), Rian Johnson (Knives Out II and III) and Greta Gerwig (the upcoming Chronicles of Narnia) and her husband Noah Baumbach (the just-released George Clooney starrer, Jay Kelly). 

All of these films have had or will have theatrical runs of various lengths and all the work of these and most other filmmakers will likely continue to do so.

Are they or will they be as long as they used to be?  Well, um, no.

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I mean… I think I could be OK with that

But to all of the movie consumers out there – nerds, intellectuals, horror fanatics, foreign film fans, the super-hero obsessed or rom-com fanatics – how many times have you uttered these four words in the last number of years:

Is it streaming yet?

a man in a yellow jacket is waving his hand
Guilty!

It is worth noting the film most likely to win this year’s best picture Oscar and, for my money, the best film of 2025, Paul Thomas Anderson’s One Battle After Another, was a Warner Bros. release that played a mere eight weeks before being available to rent or buy on streamers. 

This is not very long at all by traditional standards. And will undoubtedly vary depending on how much demand there is to see a film and how much money can be made on them.

One Gif After Another : r/paulthomasanderson
… and there he goes

I used to marvel when my parents recounted to me there was a time that they huddled around the RADIO to listen to original serialized storytelling.  The same way I did to my husband a few years ago when I suddenly realized true crime podcasts were becoming the new commercial “thing,” making something very recognizably radio popular again.

Do I long for the old days of movies?

Not so much.

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I’m with Margo

What I long for instead are the days of more good and great movies and less pure commercial garbage for the mythical lowest common denominator, non-thinking international, four quadrant audience.

And on that subject, I’d put more faith in Netflix than in the guy who treated Dr. Pimple Popper and 90 Day Fiancé with the same reverence as a Scorsese or Nolan film when he first listed them on HBO Max.

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Nuff said

Not that there is anything wrong with any film or TV show of any kind. Including the steamy Heated Rivalry, which I have every intention of watching in between this year’s Oscar movies – at the theatre and at home.

On my couch. 

Doom scrolling.

The Beach Boys – “In My Room”

Pre Oscar Buzz

The Oscars will be held this coming weekend and it’s time for some random observations.

#1 – CHRIS ROCK AND THE WILL SMITH OSCAR SLAP ONE YEAR LATER

Well, we finally got our complete response from Chris Rock and it did not disappoint.

It was broadcast Saturday night on his live Netflix comedy special, Selective Outrage.

If you did not tune in, just know the entire set is great – smart, candid and brilliantly written and delivered.  

But most importantly, it’s really funny.

Oh he did not hold back

Nevertheless, it was the last 10 minutes that viewers will most remember, one that built to a well-earned mic drop to the question most of us have been waiting a year for him to answer:  

What was it like and how do you feel about being slugged really hard on live TV in front of 16 million plus people at the most prestigious awards ceremony in the world by one of the biggest stars in the world because he couldn’t take a joke? 

Well, first of all – it REALLY HURT.

And birthed an A+ NY Post headline

In terms of movies, think of it as the big guy who played Muhammad Ali (Smith) slugging the skinny kid who played Pookie (Rock) in New Jack City.

His words, not mine. 

But that was just the start.  Suffice it to say that in 10 minutes every ounce of massaged and manicured new age apology offered in pretty much any context by Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, was expertly shredded into origami and virtually shoved down their throats.

And we love a good shredding

But more importantly, it served to neuter the need for whatever obligatory dumb jokes that had been scheduled to address last year’s incident on the show, thus freeing this year’s ceremony to be as clever, dull, silly or timely as it chooses to be on its own.

Score one for team Rock and know that the festivities will likely achieve only two of the above four.

#2 – EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE OSCAR NOM-NOMS – This film grew on me and deserves the best picture and director wins it is clearly going to get next Sunday night.

James Hong sealed the deal at last week’s SAGs

I confess that after I viewed it the first time, barely holding on to middle age me didn’t quite get all the hoopla.  I mean, it was okay, but…huh? 

However, after watching it a second time it quickly became one of my favorite films of the year and, by any standards, one of the most original. 

Those of us who are not into multi-verse realities (Note: This includes myself AND most of my middle-aged friends) were a bit lost with EEAAO’s scattershot approach to reality.

But at its heart the film is actually nothing more, or less, than a very clever contemporary take on The Wizard of Oz.  Who doesn’t want to run away from a family that doesn’t listen to them when they are never truly seen?  On the other hand, what do you do when you suddenly realize that you are the one who is equally not seeing OR listening to them?

That’s one way to describe the multiverse

That’s a pretty good hat trick to pull off thematically, especially when the Mom who is substituting for Dorothy has to alternate between being a martial arts master, a glamorous movie star and a tired-looking working stiff, not to mention the voice of a googly-eyed rock.

A different kind of Oscar Rock this year

Here’s hoping that Michelle Yeoh makes history and wins a well-deserved best actress Oscar alongside the sure thing supporting actor Oscar win for Key Huan Quan as her sweet, put-upon husband. 

I think she will and that we’re looking at a big EEAAO sweep of all the top honors it’s nominated for in the making.

#3- THE VAGARIES OF THE VAGUE – There is something going on with films in the last few years for this viewer, aka ME, and it’s much more than having to watch EEAAO a second time to truly get it.

It seems there is a groundswell among critics and many industry-ites, nee Academy and other guild members, to go crazy for movies that feel slow, undone and vague.  Two examples this year are the multi-Oscar nominations for Tar and the near lock Women Talking has for the screenwriting award.

And we know how the Chair feels about ol’ Lydia Tar

Both films deal with the power struggles of women in unusual but incredibly obtuse ways.  Both are interesting looking, well acted and well made.  Yet both lack narrative details, drive and urgency, often choosing to stay mired in a miasma of talk and pretension.

It simply feels odd that Women Talking is a shoo-in for a best adapted screenplay win for writer-director Sarah Polley and that Tar’s Cate Blanchett is the top contender to snatch the best actress Oscar away from the more deserving Ms. Yeoh.

Don’t put that out into the universe!

This is especially true when two far superior films about women and their struggle for and against power, She Said and Till, were totally ignored by the Academy, 

Having seen all four films it’s hard not to conclude that the clear, well-crafted narratives of the latter two were judged not hip or happening enough for accolades by film critics and voters that believe something different always means something better.

I wonder what Miranda would have to say about this

For them I say, there’s a reason I can still wear the classic white shirt I bought at Agnes B a full 35 years ago but long ago gave away my beloved purple Armani suit that at the time I was convinced would be perennially flawless.

 #4 – THERE IS NO BEST ACTOR THIS YEAR – All of the people in this category, not to mention in most categories, are great.  But anyone who can say for sure whether Austin Butler will win for his startlingly shape shifting performance in Elvis or Brendan Fraser will take home the Oscar for his raw, heartbreaking acting turn of a lifetime in The Whale, is lying.

Some years it’s simply a tie.  Or an upset for Colin Farrell, who could squeak in for his subtle work in the much Oscar loved Banshees of Inisherin.

A tight race

Put a gun to my head and I’d say it’s probably Austin Butler’s ability to not only physically resurrect but also sing beloved Elvis Presley back to life.  On the other hand, I’m not gonna publicly deny one of the best male performances I’ve seen in years, by George of the Jungle, no less, from getting his much deserved Oscar win.

Which brings me to:

#4B – Darren Aronofsky’s The Whale received a handful of Oscar nominations but has received middling critical reviews pretty much across the board.  I don’t get it.  It’s one of the best, if not most disturbing, movies of the year.  It’s a tough watch but watch it.  It’s the anti-hip and happening and vague film stylistically (Note: Lucky for us) though ironically it seems to me that its in your face emotional rawness is exactly what we need in the world right now.

Not an easy watch — but should it be?

And finally:

#5 – THE OSCAR ARE ICONIC BUT…As fun as they are for all the right and wrong reasons, at the end of the day they don’t mean a lot.   And they’re often wrong.

I watched a double feature this afternoon on Turner Classic Movies of Born Yesterday (1950) and Some Like It Hot (1959).

One of the best lines ever

They are classic movies at their best – superbly entertaining, perfectly crafted and more than able to stand the test of time against most of their contemporaries.

Judy Holliday won the lead actress Oscar in Born Yesterday for recreating her much acclaimed Broadway performance.  But let’s remember in doing so she beat out Bette Davis, who gave one of the best female performances in film history as Margo Channing in All About Eve, and Gloria Swanson, who created one of the most enduringly iconic as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard.

All tea no shade

As for Some Like It Hot, it’s a movie that has been consistently rated by writers, directors and critics as one of the top five comedies of all-time, if not THE top.  Yet its only Oscar win was for best costumes and it failed to even receive a nomination for either best picture or best director.

The film that received the most Oscar nominations that year was, um,…Ben Hur.  And it was awarded the best picture, best director (William Wyler) and best actor (Charlton Heston) Oscar, among others.

Yep, this.

Try sitting through all 123 hours of Ben-Hur after watching Some Like It Hot.  And if you manage to, report back to us on which one you liked best.

“Running Wild” – from Some Like It Hot