Robert Mueller, a former Marine, Bronze star combat veteran and Purple Heart recipient, as well as the longtime director of the FBI (2001-2013), died this week at the age of 81.
Upon hearing the news, here is what the current President of the United States tweeted on his social media platform, word for word:
Robert Mueller is dead. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people! President DONALD J. TRUMP.
Yes, he wrote his name in capital letters and absolutely he used that exclamation point. To not use both would mean taking a chance that you wouldn’t get his power AND rage.
Though one person’s rage is another’s synonym for hysteria. And what one man views as power is a different man’s example of desperation and insecurity.
Needless to say, I am the another and the different man in both statements.
It’s not that I expect any person, or even president, to take kindly to someone who led so public an investigation into his misdeeds as Mr. Mueller did into DJT via The Mueller Report.
Especially since that document, contrary to White House spin, never exonerated him of any number of misdeeds, including most egregiously receiving key help from Russia that allowed him to win the 2016 presidential election.
Still, as you learn when you grow up, there are many reasons to say I’m sorry.
Number one being, anger and rage is a destructive force that can rot you from the inside and eat you alive, causing you endless personal misery in your most private moments.
Anyone who has ever been in therapy, or has been in a successful long-term relationship, has probably been met with that age old question:
Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
Sometimes choosing personal happiness is as right as you can be in the long term. It doesn’t mean the anger and rage wasn’t justified and real. It’s more that if you spend your entire life getting even then, well, that will be your entire life.
Disconnection, conflict and a never-ending list of the ways you were wronged can never really make you right. And as momentarily satisfying as revenge might be, it can’t alter the past and will never truly change a perceived enemy’s mind.
Not to mention, it’s tiring.
And we expect more from presidents.
Or we did.
What could POTUS have done instead of that tweet and aside from nothing?
Well, how about a simple We’re sorry for your loss to Mr. Mueller’s family? Sure, it’s a non-apology apology but at least it would be something.
And he could’ve still signed his name in ALL CAPS.
Speaking of apologies, I see you hiding in plain sight Timothee Chalamet. And frankly, I expected so much more of you.
No, I don’t mean to put you in the same rageful category as any of the above from you know who. But once again, there all are kinds of reason to say I’m sorry. Particularly when you’re thirty years old, a gigantic movie star and more wealthy and powerful in the entertainment world than pretty much any other actor of your generation.
Never mind what would have prompted TC – a guy whose mom and sister actually danced in the New York City Ballet – to suddenly say this publicly to fellow actor Matthew McConaughey in a sit down interview in Austin to promote Marty Supreme, a movie he starred in and produced.
I don’t want to be working in ballet, or opera, or things where it’s like, ‘Hey, keep this thing alive, even though like no one cares about this anymore…
And then, adding insult to injury, continuing on with:
…All respect to all the ballet and opera people out there… (giggles) I just lost 14 cents in viewership…(more giggles) I’m taking shots for no reason.
But the remedy for it would’ve also been sooooo easy. Something like:
I am truly sorry for my insensitive words and acting like an arrogant jerk. I have the greatest respect for my fellow artists and will try through my future actions, words and behavior to make this right.
In his own voice, of course. And then maybe follow-through, donate money, start a scholarship or even sit through a performance of… something.
Not because you like it, but because, well, perhaps it’s the nice thing to do and you will learn something.
Yet, at a time in the 21st century when the bar is soooooo low for mea culpas, of any kind, that is not at all what we saw.
Rather than actually admit a misstep, what we got were never-ending viral debates, memes and TikTok videos all culminating with probably the worst performance he has ever given – that of a front row, gracious loser (Note: In a white suit, no less!) at last weekend’s Oscar ceremony.
Perhaps he was sleep deprived when he made those public statements. Or a bit high on his own supply. Or simply an actor without a high-priced writer making him sound articulate.
But the real issue is, why not just say
I AM SORRY.
I f-cked up.
I’ll try to do better.
And then move on.
Is this the new American normal? And if it is, do we want it to be?
Just last week, convicted rapist Harvey Weinstein gave an exclusive interview with The Hollywood Reporter where he was ranting on about the women who destroyed him.
Say want you want about famed producer Scott Rudin, whose decades of unhinged, abusive behavior terrorized employees and ended more than a few careers, but at least he said he was sorry, got some therapy and stepped away for a few years before returning to the spotlight.
But that was in 2021.
It’s now five years later and we’re in a new age. One of disrespect and disconnection mixed with massive dollops of resentment and rage.
Hopefully, it’s not one in permanent disrepair.
K.D. Lang & Elton John – “Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Word”
notes from a chair 