The Emmy Revue

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The results each year at major award shows in Hollywood are akin to what usually happens in major American elections – it takes a while to get there but eventually – eventually – voters do the right thing. I’m talking about the moments in Sunday’s Emmy telecast when Jon Hamm finally won best actor for the first time in seven nominations for Mad Men and Viola Davis became the first African American to take home best drama series actress for How To Get Away With Murder.

Mr. Hamm – though I feel after all these years of fandom I should call him Jon – or even Jonny – gave a modest, heartfelt speech. Ms. Davis – whom I will not refer to as Vi – gave a thoughtful, political one.

Right on!

Right on!

Which is not to say that this year’s three-hour program – which in my house felt more like seven and a half plus commercials – was not a languid, tedious misfire of an affair. It was. In fact, the prior week’s Republican presidential debate from the Ronald Reagan library was infinitely more entertaining for this liberal. And I’m only speaking just about the show itself – not the fact that I’m one of those liberals who doesn’t find this year’s best comedy series Emmy winner, Veep, even remotely funny.   Well, I suppose real life political events, especially those about-to-be for the next 12 months – are and will be infinitely funnier. Let’s face it, you couldn’t make The Republican Apprentice up, and even if you could, how much more irreverently meta could that character be?

Certainly he’d be funnier than Andy Samberg, a generally amusing guy who turned in a performance that could best be compared to a defanged Seth MacFarlane when he was hosting the Oscars several years ago. His opening taped bit about not having enough time to watch all of what was on TV had a few yuks but when he went live it was a bit like a deadly frat party where the guy everyone finds funny one on one is asked to entertain at an all-campus event. He’s jolly enough but he’s not in the right room or with the right crowd. One supposes it’s the same reason Seth MacFarlane can make you laugh almost anywhere but the Oscars.

You know you’re in trouble when your host turns in ad-libs like the one about best limited series winner Olive Kittridge that go like this: I didn’t see Olive Kittridge. I only saw half. Get it? Ol-ive (All-of) Kittridge – only Half (Half?).

Oh gawd, Andy.

Oh gawd, Andy.

In fairness, three hours is an incredibly long time to sit these days when you’re not choosing to binge watch your preferred series of choice via your favorite streaming service. It must have seemed even longer for good sports Tatiana Maslany (the long overlooked and finally Emmy nominated star of Orphan Black) and this year’s best supporting comedy actor, Veep’s Tony Hale – when they were doing some hackneyed bit mid-show on the empty red carpet where they found and fought over an open can of baked beans.   Baked beans on a red carpet? Really? How about…popcorn? Caviar? A tuna sandwich? I’ve probably been on about 50 red carpets in my day and there was nary a baked bean to be found.

No Gaga musical number? #thehillsareSTILLalive

No Gaga musical number? #thehillsareSTILLalive

No, I’m not being too literal. For it to be funny it has to be possible. Ugh, who really gives a darn, anyway? Samberg’s got a hit network show so he must know better, right? No. Remember, Alf was on TV for four years and Three’s Company was on for eight.

Which brings us to Mel Brooks presenting best comedy series. He just walks on TV – as he has on and off for 50 years – and he’s funny. Why? I’m not sure. Probably the same reason Amy Schumer slayed it in a 90 second acceptance speech where among other things she thanked her makeup person for her cool smoky eye or Jon Stewart made us laugh simply by jumping up and down amid a crowd full of his own writers when they won their final Emmy for their work on the last season of The Daily Show.

67th Annual Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theatre Featuring: Amy Schumer Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 20 Sep 2015 Credit: FayesVision/WENN.com

Slay gurl, slay.

It was, indeed, inspiring to see Tracy Morgan seemingly recovered from a near fatal auto accident more than a year ago as he walked onstage, made a few irreverent jokes that landed, and presented the final award of the night for best drama series. No joke here – it was.

These are the moments award shows are about. But there can only be a few of those per program. The rest is up to the host and the writers, the winners and the non-winners (Note: Let’s try to avoid losers) to keep it going.

One may ask: Chair, why do you even watch award shows if you dislike them so much

Answer: I love award shows. I just dislike dull, unfunny ones.

P.S. – Especially when the best-written and acted series on television – Mad Men– doesn’t win the final award of the night. No, I don’t watch the winner, Game of Thrones. And now I don’t plan to. Unless Jon Hamm is planning to guest star.

Hey... it could happen. #Emmys2016

Hey… it could happen. #Emmys2016

Relive the Chair’s Emmy twitter feed, and join in on the post Emmy convo.

As the Emmy Turns

Occasionally the Chair must break from his weekly posts to address up-to-the-minute breaking news… and sometimes he just has an opinion and he can’t shut up about it. Enjoy this mid-week visit with the Chair as he spins his truth on this year’s biggest Emmy moment.

Sophia-Vergara-Emmys-Sexist

The takeaway from the Emmy Awards on Monday night is not about Breaking Bad deservedly sweeping in almost all of its major categories. Nor is it the fact that Emmy stalwarts such as Modern Family, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep), Jim Parsons (Big Bang Theory), Allison Janney (Mom, Masters of Sex and previously West Wing) continue to dominate in all of theirs.

It’s not even that the presumed-to-be sure-fire dramatic TV-movie winner of the year – The Normal Heart – was snubbed in all of its categories until the very end.

Oh Matt, we're trying!

Oh Matt, we’re trying!

And no – it certainly is not that the usually smart, glib and poised in just-the-right-way host Seth Meyers delivered an unusually static set of jokes that made him and the entire show seem a bit off its game.

What it is all about are three minutes and one half minutes of special material that fell flat. And…

Sofia Vergara.

Who knew that the funny and beautiful actress from Colombia who became a gigantic American television star by playing a beautiful and funny woman from Colombia on the Television Academy’s favorite situation comedy of the last five years (see above) would be so heavily chastised, shamed and otherwise criticized for participating in a comedy bit where she played a beautiful and funny woman from Colombia on television?

Life is strange.

Clearly, many people do not feel comfortable with or understand that Ms. Vergara’s success is based on the idea that publicly she ALWAYS plays the part of a beautiful and funny woman from Colombia. And that despite what the writers name her in whatever venue she presents herself, that persona is ultimately always named Sofia Vergara and has as much or as little to do with the real her as… well… only she knows for sure.

Exhibit A

Exhibit A

But here’s what we should all know: that is what actors do.

For those unfamiliar with the segment, Ms. Vergara strutted out clad in her usual body-hugging garment and speaking in her exaggeratedly extreme Latin accent (Note: As thick as Fran Drescher’s but evoking Colombia rather than Flushing, Queens – the latter being my home town). After explaining to the audience that she came to America with the same big dreams of many young women her age– to be on a stage as big as the one she was standing on at the Emmys – she then disappointedly noted that this also relegated her to the duty of only being able to introduce from that very stage Television Academy president Bruce Rosenblum.

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Quickly making his entrance and taking away center stage was Mr. Rosenblum, who if nothing else is Central Casting’s version of what most everyone around the world imagines television executives to be. Which is to generously say that he is not at all a performer or else he’d hire himself and his colleagues instead of paying actors like Ms. Vergara millions and millions and millions of more millions of dollars each year.

This also appeared evident as Mr. Rosenblum took the reigns of what now promised to be on ongoing routine and asked Ms. Vergara to stand on a rotating podium center stage – not unlike that of a real-life version of an actual Emmy – and demonstrate for the audience the meaningful impact American television has around the world.

As Mr. Rosenblum blathered on about something to do with charitable foundations, diverse audiences and more devices and platforms than ever before, the spotlight was on the 360-degree view of Ms. Vergara as she slowly rotated and milked every single moment of the routine with all the skills of the multi-Emmy nominated comic actress that she is. Let us just say Ms. Vergara held nothing back in terms of “body language” and this made the routine far more or less amusing depending on who you were or what your point of view was or is. Especially when Mr. Rosenblum concluded television’s success is always about great storytelling and giving viewers something compelling to watch.

I will admit to being amused by Ms. Vergara and how willing she was to poke fun at her sexpot image and pose as some living statue of – something – while a boring man – who stood in for all of the many boring men I pictured watching at home – talked on obliviously about stuff no one really wanted to listen to despite his determination to continue boring them. I mean, isn’t this something that most guys, including myself (and maybe even at this moment) routinely do?

That is not the way many of the women close to me, or the tens of thousands of other people on Twitter and various alternative platforms and devices, viewed it, however. Charges of TV Academy sexism quickly abounded, celebs like Katie Couric voiced their disapproval, and pundits much more powerful and wider read than myself posted think pieces and visual aids about feminist representation. Most also mentioned the irony that some moments after Ms. Vergara exited, Julianna Marguiles accepted a best actress Emmy in a speech that boasted how we are currently living in a “golden age of television ” in terms of roles for women.

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It’s difficult to know what to think of all of this and clearly impossible to prove those thoughts since this is all about a matter that is subjective – or more rightly – objective-ication.   In fact, one of my female friends argued that if a gay guy were presented center stage in the stereotypical throwback way that Ms. Vergara had to endure, I’d completely change my tune. Not true, I protested. If they put Neil Patrick Harris in a speedo on that podium – the most famous and attractive out TV gay I could think of – and twirled him around as he cleverly camped on his own terms (the key word being clever) – I’d think it was funny. But not if some random gay reality TV show guy who was not as funny or quick as Mr. Harris (Note: Take your pick) tried it. There’s a difference.

Unless it's this reality show gay, in which case, MORE BILLY PLEASE

Unless it’s this reality show gay, in which case, MORE BILLY PLEASE

Well, that didn’t work. They didn’t believe me. And really, how do I absolutely know for sure? All I was probably thinking about was seeing Neil Patrick Harris in a speedo on a podium. Which, in a strangely symbolic way, is how all of this began.

I guess it’s all about choice and history and perspective. And who or what you find funny. Though what do I know: for my money, Amy Poehler and Lena Dunham are the best comic actresses on TV – not Julia-Louis Dreyfuss. Not to mention Louis C. K. and Andre Braugher make me laugh a hell of a lot more than Jim Parsons or Ty Burrell.

This is a very long way of saying – what’s funny to me may not be funny to you. And, vice-versa. And it may very well be offensive to somebody. Hopefully.