Wickedopolis


Decades ago, when I contemplated running away from what I perceived to be some awful reality, a dear friend turned to me and said:

Wherever you go, there you are.

Welp.

Oy vey, as the women in my family used to say.  So true and so to the point, especially if you’d been through a few years of therapy, which I had been at the time. 

And never mind that it wasn’t my friend’s original thought but a quote often attributed to the great Chinese philosopher Confucius, which means the urge to throw all your cards up in the air and flee has been going on for centuries.  

Still, it helps to be reminded that you can’t run away from yourself, your thoughts or REALITY.  

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s… Chairy!

Fine Chairy, you watch the news, fight on and muddy yourself in the pigpen of 2024-2028.  We’ll meet up in four years and see who’s happier.

Well, of course you can block stuff out or live in a dream bubble of your own making, but that kind of defeats the purpose of real life, doesn’t it?  As one of my favorite movie therapists, Dr. Berger as played by Judd Hirsch, says to the troubled teen he’s trying to help dig out of the danger of self-harm in Ordinary PeopleIf you can’t feel pain kiddo, then you’re not gonna feel anything else either. 

Preach

I’ve been wondering if that’s still true post-election as I try to wade through my raging, unforgiving anger, aspiring for a self-imposed four-year real world blackout that I know will never come. But deep down I know it is.  Every great thing that’s happened to me occurred because of my willingness to learn from a past mistake I chose, something unsavory I observed, or deep arbitrary pain inflicted by circumstances no one saw coming.

This is why some of the most popular and/or painstakingly personal artistic offerings choose to traffic in exactly this territory.  Creativity doesn’t happen because creators look for these dicey moments to dramatize but because these kind of moments force individuals to use their art to cope with all of the hopelessness and misfortunes they observe or experience in the world and serve it up in some sort of vague narrative logic in order to process, make sense and eventually truly understand the darkest of their times    So they, as well as you and I, may better continue on in the world.

Namaste to that

This sounds way too lofty and twee to be  true. On the other hand, that doesn’t make it any less true.

Witness two big budget movies I saw this weekend.  

Wicked and Megalopolis.

Is he…defying gravity? #hyuckhyuck

Together they represent the most popular and the least popular out there at the moment.  With seemingly nothing in common they are, in fact, quite similar in how they try to make sense of the charlatans of the world and their simplistically mean destructiveness and craven ambition and greed and lies to civilizations — and how precarious and unlikely it is in their stories that the truthtellers of the world will ever save society or, in the end, ever attain any form of personal happiness.

Which doesn’t mean its creators don’t try to give it to them.  

Whether they succeed or not depends on your point of view and what you define as happiness.  Just as who you resent, root for or turn your back on in each story depends on your personal definition of good and evil. (Note: No, there is no sound dictionary definition, as supported by the current state of our conflicting worlds).

Wait… it’s not as easy as green vs. pink?

The stage musical Wicked (2003) was about many things, but chief among them for me was its existence as a thinly veiled parable for the eighties Reagan era of greed and avarice and “othering” of much-hated, maligned and morally objectionable minority groups, most especially gay people in the age of AIDS.  Like the ailing animals onstage and their heroine Elphaba, we were scorned, hunted, disappearing and, in many cases dying, under a leader who knew all about those injustices but instead chose to blatantly ignore them and ride them to fame on the false myth of prosperity for anyone willing to work hard enough to make it so.

Americans have always loved a great myth, hence the American dream.  But the one around Ronald Reagan, widely known to his fans and the world as The Great Communicator, was openly mocked and laid threadbare by songwriter Stephen Schwartz in the lyrics of one of the shows’ most beloved songs, Popular.

…When I see depressing creatures, With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf, To think of
Celebrated heads of state
Or specially great communicators!
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don’t make me laugh!

They were popular! Please!
It’s all about popular
It’s not about aptitude, It’s the way you’re viewed…

Wow it’s right there!

Children’s author Gregory Maguire, an American living in London in the early nineties, wrote the novel Wicked (1995) as a way to delve into the origins of evil and in particular was influenced by a local murder case where both the victim and murderers were young kids  He began to wonder what in their pasts could lead to such crimes and used his lifelong fascination with the film and books of The Wizard of Oz, along with his Catholic upbringing, to delve into what turned the Wicked Witch of the West, nee Elphaba, so awful.  Not unsurprisingly given his religious background and the rise of Christian fundamentalism at the time, he made Elphaba’s cheating mother the wife of a minster in a passionless, oppressive marriage, who bore the child of her secret lover after drinking a green elixir, condemning her offspring to a life of literal, albeit magical difference.  In other words, an undeniable “other.”

One could go back further to the 1939 film, based on the L. Frank Baum novels, but you get it.  Each era emphasizes its villains and those cast in the shadows because of some action taken, often out of desperation, greed or even love, wrongheaded or well-intentioned though they might be.  

… and then sometimes a house falls on you

In Wicked Part I (2024), now destined to be the highest grossing movie musical of all-time (Note: It’s hit almost $360 million worldwide box-office in just 10 days), Elphaba is played by a woman of color painted green, and her obvious smarts and extreme talents tower far above the male and female “mean girls” who relentlessly bully her at school.  The smartest professors at school are animal eggheads with glasses whose intellect is rejected and marginalized. And the one minority in pseudo power, an Asian sorceress, is eventually exposed as a tool of the institutional status quo, a soulless toady willfully deceiving those she is meant to mentor in order to remain part of the elite ruling class under the great Wizard.  

OK but she looks fabulous doing it!

As for the Wizard himself, he doesn’t even  bother to lie about his massive deceptions and the cruel intentions of his big scheme against those “othered” when Elphaba finds him out.  He literally tells her: The best way to get people together is to find them a real good enemy.

If any of this sounds familiar to 2024 politics, it is VERY intentional.  But only if one chooses to see it.  Let’s not even get into setting aside the feel good fun and frivolity and fighting against it.

Which side of history we wind up on  – the aspirational good or the ugliness of evil order in exchange for a few crumbs of pseudo security – is the primary question legendary writer-director Francis Coppola is choosing to leave us with in Megalopolis. 

Speaking of serving looks…

(Full disclosure:  Coppola is one of my favorite filmmakers in the history of movies and the scale of his vision, overstuffed with ideas and always filmically compelling, is to me a worthy vehicle for him to go out on).  

Yes, it’s a profound mess but in the best way possible because it takes for granted that movies are more than a stack of index cards shuffled together that use variations of a paint-by-the-numbers narrative paradigm to suture its audience into their seats by employing merely tried and true tools to elicit dramatic and comedic pleasures.

yeah we know you are

Coppola’s done that, reinvented that and stepped away from it, only to return and reinvent it again.  I kept cheering to myself during all 139 minutes of him spending the capital he’s earned with us over the years in order to challenge us one last time about our futures by being both on-the-nose and hopefully obtuse.

The villains are diabolically 2024 and are meant to be so.  Scions of a rich white family who are bloated, entitled and lazy – doing the minimal amount of work for the biggest reward.   Trying to lead an ultra-right movement against the status quo, one of them screams to a cheering crowd of the economically oppressed:  We Are Here, We are powerful and We are taking our country back!!!  

 If it weren’t so obvious, it wouldn’t be true. 

Eat the rich?

The many more are distillations straight out of the fall of the Roman Empire.  Literally.  The costumes, the men’s haircuts, even the lead anti-hero, whose name is Caesar and is played Adam Driver, known for portraying any number of compelling/repelling movie leading men and villains with equal aplomb.  Here he’s clearly a surrogate for Coppola himself, a visionary artist (Note: In this case an architect and discoverer of magical compounds) with manic tendencies, who is in one moment heralded as a genius and in the next met with bile-dripping disdain as a dishonest, poser has-been.

Caesar drinks, does drugs, hurts the people he loves and fantasizes about people and places that aren’t there but that he determines can remake our world and progress it for the betterment of everyone.  Though, maybe they are there?  Or, perhaps, it’s both, a worthy imagination that can ALSO further his own ambitions?  Always the sentimentalist, Coppola leaves us not with the first or the third but with the possibility of the dream itself if we choose to act on it.

OK but we can all agree this haircut is bad

In his world, there is utopia if we are willing to come together and believe.  Just because people look or think differently, doesn’t mean they can’t be the heroes in our one, common, human story.

Well, if anyone’s earned the right to cast himself as the godly movie oracle of humankind, of who and what we can be, it’s an 85-year-old American filmmaker who directed and co-wrote The Godfather and The Godfather Part II – two of the greatest films ever made.  A guy who wants to leave us screaming into the void this message for future generations to come, recited by the children of what he imagines as a mythically better but still very attainable world he’s begging us to make good on.

I pledge allegiance to our human family, and to all the species that we protect. One Earth, indivisible, with long life, education and justice for all. 

It may not play right now. But for right now, it’s certainly worth thinking about.

Cynthia Erivo – “Defying Gravity”

Goy to the World

It’s officially holiday season and from now until New Year’s Eve life is officially a Christmas cookie cutter Hallmark TV movie and we’re all its willing and unwilling viewers.

Just try to scroll or flip or surf in the next five weeks and NOT land on one of them. For the Hallmark brand is no longer solely on the Hallmark channel.  It’s now an official genre – more of a template, really – that’s migrated to Lifetime and Hulu and Netflix and pretty much EVERY other network, cable and streaming platform out there.

Me, 10 minutes after Thanksgiving

You know what this is even as you DENY you would EVER watch one or HAVE EVER seen one because you are just THAT cool:

– A type A career person returns to their hometown around the holidays and meets the more rugged or relaxed person of their dreams

– A big city person reluctantly finds themselves trapped in the country for a few days and Cupid’s arrow strikes as they help resurrect a dying business, usually involving decorations, party planning, hospitality, a needy relative or a tree

TINSEL FIGHTS!

– A recent widow or widower, or happily divorced or unhappily engaged person, is forced to re-engage in a job with someone they initially loathe as sparks fly.  Then, as a result, they wind up getting over the bad partner or the hurt, though not without a few serious yet not too deep, i.e. truly humanly unrecognizable, complications.

Of course, these are only a mere sampling.  There are also the ones where:

– An ordinary guy or gal meet cute with someone who turns out to be a Royal or a celebrity or a mega-gazillionaire they have somehow never heard of or at least fail to recognize.   

And probably Candace Cameron Bure

Or the others  that feature  —

– A non-threatening but engaging person with an” issue” who travels to be with their family around Christmas and somehow and in some way, find their worst childhood trauma getting resolved in less than two hours by staying in a house that would make Martha Stewart go crazy with jealousy and run out to get stoned with Snoop Dog were she not already doing so.

Of course, more than one of these plots can or might be contained in a single episode.  In fact, as a viewer, one only hopes that as many of these tropes as possible be shoved into the narrative.  It’s part of the lure for not only hate-watchers but genre appreciators alike.

Also coats… so many beautiful coats.

And I know this because:

I AM THE CHAIR and I LOVE A GREAT/BAD OR ANYTHING IN BETWEEN HALLMARK MOVIE.

And since I love you so much, here is a list of the new ones available to keep you busy for the rest of 2020 on those days when things WILL inevitably get tough.

It would seem as if a Jewish gay guy like me would be loath to confess his fascination with a large swath of films in which he or his ilk seldom, if ever, appears.  I mean, there’s as much chance of someone like me showing up for the holidays at one of these places as there is of, well – me showing up for the holidays at one of these places.

I’m on my way

Yet ever since my folks brought the young me to my first Broadway musical in the late 1960s and I heard Angela Lansbury sing We Need A Little Christmas in Mame, none of that mattered.  The sparkle from the tinsel and the colors of the tree lights (Note: Yeah and the spotlights) onstage were exciting and fun and EVERYTHING my family and me NEVER experienced in December but that I so, so, SOOO wanted to that I was hooked.

Thus I, and I suspect many non-Christian Hallmark fans, don’t ever associate anything about these movies or shows with the birthday of a historical or even vaguely religious figure. 

Ain’t nothin’ meek about this

Instead, they are candy cane fantasies delivering us from our humdrum holiday realities with dazzle and glamour and impossibly delicious deserts.  And they do this with characters and food and fashion so ridiculously out-of-our world that we can actually safely LOVE laughing AT their ridiculous simplicity as much as we will DENY ever shedding  a tear when somehow their one huge fake life problem finally manages to work itself out.

Which begs the question of how quickly and completely every single one of these characters is even able to find true love in the end.  I mean, you could do an entire network or web channel series of sequels to each of these films where you revisit the couple several years later and unleash all the dirty little secrets of just how happy or, likely, unhappy their films’ endings truly wound up being.

How am I not wildly rich?

This is why as a writer I could never, ever EVER get hired to write one of these, as much as it would certainly be fun.  I’d keep insisting things like:

-But um, who acts like that? 

-What town is this? 

-Who are these people and why don’t they tell their f’n families off instead of allowing them to pressure them that way?

OR –

Leave N.Y. or L.A. to run a bed and breakfast or family bookstore with the most boring person in the world?  Are they KIDDING?  I don’t care how good-looking they are!  

OK, but I bet the wifi is terrible

Of course, when I voiced one or all of these to my husband as we watched Hulu’s Happiest Season, the first genre movie of this kind to center on a gay couple, one of whom was played by our own openly gay star Kristen Stewart, he rolled his eyes and replied to me:

Settle down, Rossellini.  This isn’t Italy in the 1940s.  They don’t live in your world.

True.. but brutal

Well, I’ll say.  In my world, Kristen Stewart would NEVER have put up with the crap her closeted girlfriend was putting her through with her quasi-TV conservative parents played by Mary Steenburgen and Victor Garber (Note: The latter of whom is openly gay in real life), forcing her into pretending she was nothing more than her orphaned roommate from the big city desperate for a place in WASP nirvana.

Instead,  she would’ve left her for her closeted girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend from high school that also happened to be visiting their hometown for that weekend.  That gal, now a doctor who lives and works in New York City, is actually a much better match and is played by the wonderfully snide and sassy Aubrey Plaza. 

I want a movie about them just for the suits alone

Forget that Kristen already had sassy and snide covered with her on-screen best friend, played by our current male gay du jour Dan Levy.  A life with those two A-list queers could cover enough snide AND sassy to get me through each Christmas as well as EVERY OTHER  holiday season for the rest of the twelve lifetimes I plan to live over the next 958 years.

But alas, life is NOT a Hallmark film, real or reimagined.  I suppose this is why I will now and probably forever keep watching them.  The only way to get through life, real or imagined, is to willfully and completely soldier on, especially through the chafe, ever hopeful that one day we will stumble on to the imperfectly perfect mix of our own concoction.

Barbra Streisand – “Jingle Bells”