Media Matters

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I was on national television this week. It wasn’t a big deal. Except it sort of is when you’re not a celebrity or someone that people are used to seeing on TV. This is because…well, just why is that exactly?

Not to mention, couldn’t they have interviewed me without showing my bald spot? Was that final over-the-shoulder angle really necessary? Plus, how come my face was shiny at points while the reporter asking the questions always had a perfectly matte complexion?  Well, the segment was called Rossen Reports so clearly Jeff Rossen takes precedence over me. Then there’s the fact that he has better hair. And a lot more of it. For now.

Anyway, these are the thoughts that linger. Much more than anything you say. Remember that the next time you call Barbra Streisand a diva or decide to make fun of Beyoncé’s demands. It really does take a village. For most of us.

Oh, I just woke up like this

Oh, I just woke up like this

Oh, and one final word about the looks department. I really do now understand why Nora Ephron entitled one of her last books I Feel Bad About My Neck. Men are secretly no different from women in this regard (despite the fact that the subtitle to Ephron’s book was And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman). We just don’t publicly utter the words. But for every male celebrity you think looks fantastic at any age, there is a closet Barbra or Beyoncé lurking and a Nora secretly thinking. So consider the veil lifted on that end because after many decades in the entertainment industry and my very limited encounters in front of the camera I now, more than ever, know this for Oprah sure. Yes, even George Clooney and Ryan Gosling have to give it some thought, despite the Jon Hamm of it all.

Of course, I’m straying from my original point. The national appearance was on Thursday’s Today show in the prime 7:30-8am period. This followed an appearance on the local KNBC 11:00 news two weeks earlier (and of course my blog post about it). And unlike Kimye, I would really have gladly exchanged the whole thing just for some piece and quiet.

Click here to see my moment of fame

Click here to see my moment of fame

As some of you might know, this all started with the inconsiderate asshat living above us. For the last six months he has been illegally renting out his house for many thousands of dollars per night to dozens of different patrons who host indoor/outdoor after hours parties. Of course, I like a party as much as anyone but, trust me, you don’t want to be living directly below the kind that start at midnight and go till 6 am almost every weekend and even on some weekdays. Unless it’s your house and your shindig. And even then.

When the police and local politicians get called, written to and lobbied dozens of times and do very little, where is one to turn in the age of more pressing issues like murder, death, drugs, campaign financing and ISIS? I’ll tell you where – the media. And if the cost of that is not coming across on camera looking and acting as you had always imagined – and know FOR SURE that you always do – well it’s a small price to pay for the peace of mind (and quiet) that I now have in spades. Hopefully, it will last longer than my 15 minutes of fame.

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Yes, that’s right – since I appeared on camera in these two reports there have been no parties blasting everything from “disco to Snoop Dog” and no more nightmare nights or entire weekends filled with “torture.” (Note: Did I really put it exactly that way? Was that the very best that I could do? I don’t think so. And I certainly would have denied I said it in that fashion had I not seen the footage for myself. Of course, it could have been doctored. I mean, I don’t really sound exactly that way. Right?)

Anyway, for all of the above, even the parts that I KNOW in my heart of hearts were doctored despite all evidence to the contrary – I am extremely appreciative to the media – especially KNBC’s consumer reporter Joel Grover, NBC’s Jeff Rossen and everyone who works with them. Nothing else matters but the peace and quiet because I know that a. they were doing the best they could with what I gave them and b. I would’ve done a lot more to once again only be haunted by the garden variety strange sounds circulating in my head on a daily basis.

I mean, I could have done more

I mean, I could have done more

Which brings up this question:

How do we address the truth about those issues and things we don’t know as well as ourselves, considering that the reality of our knowledge on the latter is limited?

Not very well, I’m afraid.

It’s time for us all, myself at the top of the list, to consistently remind ourselves that all we are really getting on TV (Note: Feel free to substitute, print, web, virtual information and/or entertainment sources) is that interview, appearance or performance in that moment in time. This even goes for any encounter you might have with someone on the public stage live and in person. I mean, would you want to always be judged by the snotty answer you spit back at a co-worker on the day your lover dumped you or the dirty look you gave to the person standing next to you in the elevator who was wearing enough cologne or perfume to seduce the Entire Seventh Fleet? (Note: Okay fine, truth be known I’m good with all the cologne/perfume looks I’ve ever previously given).

I never leave home without my gas mask

From the elevator collection

Taken one step further, how really reliable is any of the information we have on the more pressing issues of the day?   You can’t count on every slickly produced news package you see to have ME in them, telling you the absolute facts – throwing all caution to the wind about how I appear for the good of the issue at hand. There are a lot of manipulators, even liars in our midst, who will do a lot more, including making a lot more noise (NOTE: Trust me on that one) to get you to their side of the coin.

This week I couldn’t help but think of all the brouhaha about Hillary Clinton’s emails. I mean, do I really give a crap what server she used or what she did or didn’t say? At its worst it has to be better than most of the stuff that Dick Cheney and George W. Bush uttered publicly. Certainly, it’s a lot smarter. (Note: Yes, that is my opinion, which we’ve established is absolute truth).

Will we still get the puns when Jon is gone?

Will we still get the puns when Jon is gone?

Then I considered the openly public letter to the Islamic State of Iran written by a man who has only been in the Senate for two months – Sen. Tom Cotton (R-AK) – and signed by him and 46 other Senators while our sitting president is in the midst of secret nuclear disarmament talks with said country.

I mean, only the fate of the entire world hangs in the balance. So it’s not wrong to wonder, what was the real meaning of this unprecedented (Note: Meaning it’s never happened) move? Treason? Political opportunism? Or true concern about the global realities that the universe has in store for us if their POVs go unspoken (nee unwritten)?

Oh.. they didn't send an email?

Oh.. they didn’t send an email?

The answers to these and other questions are, of course, above my pay grade – and probably yours. But if I know that my two recent TV appearances created the change I wanted in my limited world imagine how well both sides on the above issues could do in convincing you of their reality? All I had on my side was the truth. They actually have a team of experts you can trust. Or choose not to.

Think about that how you will. I myself will go ponder it in the new silence of my old home. Off-camera.

The Pro-Ignorance Movement

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There is the pro-choice movement – meaning an organized effort in favor of a woman’s right to choose whether or not to terminate her pregnancy.

These days there is also the pro-ignorance movement – meaning a willful determination to stay uninformed on any subject one chooses while simultaneously speaking out about it.

Mr. Carson

Meet Mr. Know-it-all

Dr. Ben Carson, a world-renowned neurosurgeon– which means he operates on the one organ of the body responsible for thought – gave this explanation on CNN Wednesday morning when asked by Chris Cuomo about homosexuality:

CC: Do you think being gay is a choice?

Dr. C: Absolutely

CC: Why do you say that?

Dr. C: Because a lot of people who go into prison…go into prison straight and when they come out they’re gay. So did something happen while they were in there? Ask yourself that question.

Ummmm.. what?!

Ummmm.. what?!

It’s unclear whether Dr. Carson is referring to prison rape turning the average inmate gay or whether it’s the temptation of solely being around so many people of the same sex so consistently over so long a period of time that causes the great change. If the latter, it certainly does cast a giant rainbow flag over the world of professional sports, not to mention the military. If the former then as an MD is he prescribing extended confinement and sexual relations with members of the opposite sex in order to turn a gay person straight? Or does it not work the other way around? One’s mind reels at any of the possibilities.

Before one writes off Dr. Carson as a right wing crazy, it is important to note he graduated with a psychology degree from Yale prior to attending medical school. He then became a pediatric neurosurgeon who in 1987 led a 70-member team that successfully separated conjoined Siamese twins; was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Pres. George W. Bush in 2008; and wrote six best selling books, the last of which, One Nation, was on the 2014 NY Times bestseller list for 20 consecutive weeks where it outsold Hilary Clinton’s Hard Choices. It is also relevant to report that last month he formed a well-financed exploratory committee to run for US president and was one of the most popular speakers at the recent CPAC Convention, the first great test for all emerging 2016 Republican Party presidential hopefuls.

I'm not even sure how to react to this

I’m not even sure how to react to this

The fact that Mr. Carson issued a long apology for his CNN interview that very night, admitting he can’t claim to know how every individual came to their sexual orientation, meant little because he never admitted the most crucial point under discussion – that his original statement was incorrect. There was no denial that going to prison or the right involuntary gay encounter behind bars could soon make said individual long for a voluntary one. There was only the pronouncement that he (Dr. Carson) was a supporter of gay rights (Note: Though only up to a point) and that he couldn’t possibly know what made EVERYONE gay.

For one to counter that rape is considered by almost every medical expert across the board as a crime not about sex but one of violence and control or to cite the overwhelming consensus from the AMA on down that sexual orientation is not a condition that can be changed is truly beside the point. What is more to the point is that Dr. Carson, who is certainly a learned man with at least an above average IQ, seems to have somehow been absent when the general subject of human sexuality was covered not only in medical school but out in the Zeitgeist over the last, oh, say 30 years.

So it's not this simple?

So it’s not this simple?

The truth is that as s a public speaker, writer and man about town with all of his five senses intact – not to mention his admitted lifelong almost superhuman hand-eye coordination – it is more than likely that Dr. Carson has heard a lot of the above scientific facts and anecdotal evidence about human sexuality during that time and has willfully chosen to ignore them. Either that or he has followed some sort of doctrine of alternate magical thinking that he has instead willfully chosen to believe in.

James Randi is an 86-year-old retired illusionist, writer and professional debunker of magicians and charlatans who try to pass themselves off as clairvoyants and faith healers. I remember him as The Amazing Randi – a guy who was often featured on one of my favorite weekend TV programs of the 1960s, the kid’s show Wonderama – where he performed tricks I could believe in and escaped from the most seemingly inescapable boxes, ropes and otherwise confined spaces I’d ever seen.

Preach!

Preach!

Little did I know that in the 1980s Randi would do some of his most important work in the field of magic. As the founder of the James Randi Educational Foundation (JREF) and recipient of a Macarthur Foundation genius grant he became a full time debunker (Note: He prefers the more polite term, investigator) and set his sights on televangelists such as Peter Popoff – a man who was making $4 million per year in a nationally syndicated show where the sick, the elderly and many young people who were either handicapped or suffering from terminal cancer diagnoses would attend tent-like revival meetings (albeit in an air-conditioned soundstage) where they came to him desperately hoping for a cure. As Mr. Popoff preached about the healing powers of The Lord and pranced from one side of the stage to the other he’d forcefully hit audience members on the forehead and pull away their crutches and walkers, banishing The Devil from their bodies and presumably restoring them to health.

As preposterous as this may sound, Mr. Popoff convincingly evoked Bible passages with the smoothness of a saint or, well, at least a would-be politician. He also made a fortune doing it and had audiences traveling from all over the world to his studio so he could save them from clutches of death.

Put down your purse!

Put down your purse!

It took The Amazing Randi’s sharp magician’s mind to quickly prove these people were not being saved by God but were instead being taken in by a phony. Attending one taping, he was able to pick up a high radio frequency and overheard Popoff being fed private information about each of his subjects that turned out to be transmitted via a small earpiece he wore that his wife was speaking to him through from backstage. The setup was that people had to fill out audience cards prior to the show with pertinent information about their maladies and the best TV ready ones were carefully chosen to be candidates for his – or as he would put it, The Lord’s – magical cure.

This might not be the same thing as Mr. Carson’s magical assumption of how a person might be turned gay but it is certainly follows just about the same type of creative, non-scientific logic. Oh, and side note: it turns out that James Randi himself is gay and recently married his partner of almost 30 years. Having grown up at a time when coming out was impossible in a career like his, he says he was inspired to finally give up that final illusion after seeing the 2008 film Milk, the biopic on slain San Francisco supervisor and early LGBT advocate Harvey Milk. (Note: This and a lot more is revealed in a new documentary about his life — An Honest Liar – now playing at a theatre near you).

The Amazing Randi today

The Amazing Randi today

As for Dr. Carson, he is a lifelong devout Christian and though I am not privy to his most deeply personal beliefs, he has frequently spoken and written about his close relationship with God, proclaiming to Sean Hannity on Feb. 8 that he will run for president If the Lord grabbed me by the collar and made me do it.

He has also spoken out in the last decade in favor of what he terms traditional marriage – until recently equating those who engage in homosexuality to individuals who practice bestiality or advocate the sexual unions of adults and children. At the very least this appears to be it’s own kind of magic thinking. At the worst, it’s insulting, vicious and dangerously guilty of inciting those far less educated and intelligent than him to more potent hate speech, not to mention hate crimes.

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Still, it’s a free country so the man can say what he wants. But what he cannot do is twist his words into a kind of poisonous pretzel logic and go unchallenged. In a speech on Friday, Vice-president Joe Biden began to address Dr. Carson’s views on the subject but at one point became frozen in his tracks:

Every ridiculous assertion — from Dr. Carson on…

Biden stops mid-sentence, laughs to himself, shakes his head incredulously, presumably at those assertions. 

I mean Jesus, God.

Silence as the veep thinks some more, then tries to stifle a guffaw. And continues.

I mean — oh, God. It’s kind of hard to fathom, isn’t it?

It is reassuring to have rational thought on this issue in the current White House when Oklahoma state lawmakers have just proposed the Oklahoma Religious Freedom Restoration Act of 2015 which would allow anyone, including religious and secular businesses, to discriminate against LGBT people as long as not doing so would violate their sincerely held religious beliefs.

where do I even begin?

where do I even begin?

To say nothing of the oral arguments next month scheduled before the US Supreme Court on whether states lawmakers can ban same-sex marriage in Ohio, Michigan, Kentucky and Tennessee despite the shifting legal rulings and national tides to the contrary.

Dr. Carson has famously said in the past that in advocating same-sex marriage, its supporters are trying to tell him that two plus two equals five when everyone knows the correct answer is four. Well, he does have the correct answer to the mathematical problem but as comedian Russell Brand countered back to him in a YouTube vlog last July, you can’t compare a social and civil idea like sexuality to an objective system of signs like arithmetic.

Which begs the question of whether Dr. Carson has truly studied the issue or is just vamping in the public arena until God tells him what to do. I, for one, prefer to think of his situation this way – it’s a choice to remain ignorant in the age of Google – and a bad one. As a physician, Dr. Carson has made a lot of bold, life-saving decisions. But as a rational thinker on the world stage and as a potential policy maker, signing up to the pro-ignorance movement is the poorest choice of them all. And certainly not a good one for the next potential decider-in-chief. Or for, well, any of the rest of us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlBifX0H3yg