You had hoped to buy presents but didn’t earn the money Or you do have the cash, but you don’t have a honey Or you’re doing quite well and you’re happy as pie Except you can’t help but think that this dream soon will die Cause HBO just nixed “Hung” and “Bored to Death,” too They grew tired of cable sex and a stoned sleuth half-Jew? But for Mike White’s new “Enlightened,” a big fat renewal? Well, it’s a little new age-y and not very cruel Perhaps that’s the secret, since Kim K’s divorce Be a little more real, and a little less coarse Wait, that doesn’t make sense, cause K’s still get big ratings And Revenge is a hit, while Glee’s quickly abating. American Horror’s taken Ryan’s attention (and I can’t say I blame him) It’s got sex, blood, guts AND, no divine intervention I’ll bet he goes home and eats more than Top Ramen And Jessica’s Golden Globe nom surely must calm him. Hmm, let’s make a new plan, we can switch to the movies. A lot more respect and a lot, lot less hooting But did you see “Twilight,” or sit through “Transformers II?” How about “The Green Lantern,” or that “Scooby Doo 2?” Well “Drive” was a hoot and this year Woody’s done well At least it shows you can also be old and still very much sell Or if you’re young there’s the Black List for scripter’s unknown Even when they’re not made, you get deals and great phone Go Gosling, Go Bullock; Coop, Pitt and Jolie, I can see you! Go Cruise, Clooney and even Ms. Streep now feels brand new Still it’s tough not to think of how much can go wrong, Or pretend the list of disasters aren’t incredibly long It’s so tiring thinking of ways uber-defeatist Or just running in place while Sorkin’s sold his next fetus, I did once read that selling your body could actually work But three hour gym days drive everyone berserk. Wait, what’s that I see – off there in the distance, It’s a Hollywood God – no, it’s Ben Affleck. Or Matt Damon? I can’t see their faces; cause it’s her, you damn fool. She’s Marilyn Monroe and she’s sitting right by a pool! No, it’s not Michelle Williams, though she’d actually do Could you imagine that “Dawson’s Creek” girl’d one day make you drool? Ill bet that Michelle never thought that would happen How could she when even Van Der Beek didn’t pay attention? Look Marilyn’s nodding, I think it’s what we just stated Or is she blowing me a kiss, and my sadness has just abated No she meant what she said and she said what she meant She was looking at us, not that clone of Clark Kent The smartest of people is what I think are cool And the ones that I met in that hip acting school Or the grips on the crew who are nice and just real Not the ones who just used me while copping a feel Wait, are you a mirage that everyone sees Hey Mar, I’m DeNiro, “you talkin’ to me?” You know that I am, and now try to break free And don’t fret like the rest of the fish in this sea. A real life is precious as precious can be Like Taylor’s Krup Diamond which, by the way, just sold to me The mistake that you make is you try to fit in When the ways you are different is what gives you the win Your smile and your brain and your sweet disposition And the art that you bring to each difficult mission. I made my mistakes but at least they were mine Now go and make yours cause to me, you’re divine Woah, I think she’s just vanished, along with the pool And it had to be her cause I’m feeling so cool And as I look up in the sky on this bright L.A. night Where once there were not any stars in my sight There is Marilyn saying with everything that she feels Believe in your talent, you are the REAL DEAL.It’s that time of the year in the world of show biz When it’s spooky and silent, even if you have kidz Cause the town closes up and all calls go unanswered Leaving new screeners and old TV shows to be cancelled. Yes, just when you thought there was hope you’d break through The red carpet rolls up and there’s nothing to do Except to go home and spend time with your loved ones Or open a bag of Top Ramen with no one.
Absolutely awesome, Mr. Ginsberg. You’ve outdone yourself.
Well, it is the holidays 🙂
*Claps* Simply brilliant, and witty too. Happy Holidays.