Conduct Becoming

I spent my birthday this weekend with Bradley Cooper and it was more than I could have hoped for. 

Oooo Chairy, tell me more

He spoke after the screening of Maestro, a film he directed, co-wrote and stars in which I will happily tell everyone is original, riveting and at times even brilliant.

There, I said, it – the B word.  It no longer means Bradley or Bernstein.  And it’s not a word that I throw around lightly or, really, very much at all.

Brilliant literally means radiant, excellent or intelligent and the film is alternately all of those three, sometimes even at once.

You may quote me.

Moira gets it

Maestro is a sort of biopic of famed conductor, composer, musician and teacher Leonard Bernstein, told through the lens of his long and complicated marriage to actress Felicia Montealegre.  It was a marriage of two people who were turned on by creativity and creativity energy, which are not necessarily the same thing. 

To say the pair loved each other would not be an over-exaggeration.  But, as the movie so ably demonstrates, the dynamism of people like Bernstein, whose personalities and creativity and egos burn so bright on everything and everyone they touch becomes crushing, to both themselves and the people around them. 

The real Mr. and Mrs. Bernstein

Somewhere down the line, in a partnership or a marriage, the latter being the ultimate partnership, someone cedes center stage publicly and privately and, in this case, it was the unique and charismatic Ms. Montealegre.  

Until it wasn’t.

I’m listening…

The strength of the film is that as riveting as the unexpected magical realism of the first half is – aka the rise of Bernstein the show biz “star” and the his courtship of love and life – it’s the second half that gives the movie it’s weight.  That happens because of the storytelling ability of Cooper and co-writer Josh Singer and the qualities and actions of Ms. Montealegre herself, which are brought sharply into focus by the depth of the performances of Carey Mulligan and Cooper and the dynamic shifts they employ as a flesh and blood, and even occasionally pretentious, couple onscreen.

It’s an unexpected and truly original mix of drama, comedy and subtexts all played out to a series of carefully chosen musical cues of some of the composer’s best-known and perhaps not as well-known music.

Plus.. you know… Mr. Handsome

So much so that once Cooper and his co-writer, Josh Singer, were introduced at the Writers Guild Theatre for a talk back post-screening, they received a spontaneous and quite unexpected standing ovation.

Side Note:  The Writers Guild Theatre audience is a notoriously TOUGH crowd.  I’ve been going to these screening for years and there is seldom, if ever, a standing O.  As the recent WGA strike demonstrated, scribes DO NOT give it up for just anyone or anything.  Nor are we a crowd of star f-ckers.   As a group, writers are singularly unimpressed with movie stars in person unless it’s one-on-one and we think they might like something we wrote.  But in an en masse group directly after a screening, the work has to really put out, as they say, in order to receive anything more than professional, polite, or even mildly enthusiastic applause. 

We all did our best Meryl

In the case of Maestro, I think it’s the mere risk taking and audacity the film traffics in that the crowd admired.  And once its two writers started answering questions from writer-director/moderator Rian Johnson (Note: Yeah him, you could tell he liked it too), it became apparent why. 

The pair explained they spent almost five years writing the screenplay, immersed in research and determined to dig out some sort of narrative structure to tell a pretty unwieldy story.  They also clocked interminable hours figuring out how to relate the composer’s vast music library to what was going on in the moments of his life they chose to dramatize; or chose to leave out when it wasn’t pertinent.  Until finally, it miraculously became some sort of seamless, inevitable and occasionally tough to take story with a relatable beginning, middle and end.

It takes a room of ink-stained wretches (Note: That would be EVERYONE in the WGA) to know just how nearly impossible it is to get all of the above right on paper, much less in a final edited film.

Watch it Chairy

In fact, at one point Singer, who won an Oscar in 2015 for writing Spotlight, verbalized what was likely on every writer’s mind.   None of that would have been possible were he not co-writing and conceiving all of this with the person who would be directing the script AND starring as the title character.  Or had both Steven Spielberg and Martin Scorsese not been producers.

Nevertheless, the rest of us wretches can still dream, can’t we?

I mean…sure it could happen!

There is one more element to Maestro that allows it to soar in a way that movies during the period Bernstein and his crowd existed in never could. 

His homosexuality — or, I guess, bisexuality.  It’s hard to tell what’s what for men of certain tastes who were young adults in the forties, fifties and early sixties.

Yeah, there have been a lot of films with gay characters in the last thirty years.  But, well, not ALL that many compared to how many stories there are.  The fact that Maestro makes Bernstein’s continuous and clearly insatiable hookups, relationships or whatever you want to call them with men an integral part of the narrative unlocks an essential element of conflict, compromise, respect and more than a little self-loathing from both members of this couple’s perspectives.

And as a bonus one of them is Matt Bomer!

Their keen awareness yet simultaneous lack of self-awareness when it came to themselves and their partnership occurred in a delicate dance of acceptance and denial that a gay person like myself couldn’t help but feel was at the center of so much of this story.  It likely would not have even been possible to have employed it with so much deliberate casualness in a big budget studio feature as recently as, say, 10 years ago.  You’d have seen it but it would have been skewed or soft-pedaled to one side or the other.  As Maestro portrays Bernstein, it was a major moment, or shall we say a major series of moments, of a major life, which had so many more the film chose NOT to go into.

All of which contributed to earning Leonard Bernstein and this re-telling of his life the title of Maestro, and the movie all of the inevitable praise it so richly deserves.

Okay, now cue the detractors – because certainly they are coming too.

And don’t come back!

But whoever they are, and misguided as I might say they will be, watch it yourself, preferably on a big screen, stay with it, and decide on your own.

As we should all be doing about so many things that matter these days.

Candide Overture – Leonard Bernstein conducting

A Bloody Mess

I check out worldwide sensations because I’m that kind of chair. 

The type that offers itself up to anyone who wants to take a load off and comfortably, nee honestly, jaw about the latest, greatest and not so greatest of events and phenomena happening in our world.

Get comfortable

This is what finally got me this week to tune into Netflix’s 9-episode global juggernaut Squid Game almost two months after its September 17 debut.

– When you’re watching a Saturday Night Live parody of something you’ve never seen you know it’s time.

– When you teach a classroom of college seniors who’ve all seen it (and loved it) and you’re the cheese stands alone you feel the pressure.

– Most importantly, when you’re a person who wants to express an intelligent opinion on what’s goin’ on rather than type/scream into your highly personalized social media newsfeed you owe it to yourself and anyone within eye or earshot to be informed.

Let’s do this

In other words, shut the f-k up if you haven’t at the very least watched it, read about it or experienced it.  Especially if IT’S everywhere, or seemingly everywhere, you turn.

This and an admitted morbid curiosity about everything even slightly morbid, is what led me to Squid Game. Or shall I say, in full confession, episode 1 of Squid Game.

Because the truth is Netflix would have to pay me, and do it quite handsomely, to get me to tune in to episodes 2-9.  And certainly a lot more beyond that to get through its now sure to be season 2.

That would be an X from the Chair

How much more? 

Not even the fictional cash prize of $38.4 million for SG’s fictional players would do it because I’ve lived long enough to know that there is ALWAYS an irretrievably toxic hidden cost for you when that much money is involved with something you know deep down is just plain wrong. 

At least for you.

This bloody mess of a series from South Korea taps into any number of hot button issues in the most banal, infantile, reductive and exploitative way possible.

Or, well, at least the first episode did. 

But after a lifetime of viewing thousands of TV series and movies I got it.  I truly did.  And, well, I seriously gave it a try.

I don’t hate you for loving it.  So don’t despise me for loathing it.

No regrets

Think of Squid Game as the worst volume or sequel in The Hunger Game seriesA story with all the depth of a Transformers film and all of the bloody action in every superhero movie combined were there no parents or uptight American studios to answer to.

The latter actually makes it sound appealing, which it clearly is, to some, um, many.  This, more than anything else, disturbs me.

It’s seemingly bathed in the issue of class, themes of the have and have nots, the worst of human nature and the best of intensions gone awry.

In a practical sense, it also has the irresistible story hook of a bunch of people playing a high stakes game.  I mean, who doesn’t love games?

Well, definitely not this lady.

More to the point, I love games.  I mean, I L-O-V-E them.  My husband and I used to have game nights, when we all felt safe doing such things so close together.

In fact, tonight I might even re-watch Michael Douglas and Sean Penn in the 1997 flick of twisted human desperation, The Game.  That’s how much I love them.

Which brings us back to the subject at hand.  How high stakes is Squid Game?  

Put it this way, if you screw up the rules even once, you die. 

Meaning you get quickly shot in the heart, through your head, out your brain, up your ass or even further down below until you disintegrate or explode into a bloody, flesh flattening heap.

That’s… a lot

As a viewer you’re mired in puddles and droplets and reaction shots of bullets impacting on the bodies of the dying spraying blood.  On everyone and everything.  Especially the surviving players.

And if you are a player who doesn’t survive your corpse will likely get piled atop or beside others and later get carted away.  You will die in that brightly colorful warm up suit they gave you to play this series of games you might remember from childhood.  On the other hand, if you don’t die and emerge victorious you will win $38.4 million.

Oh and it hovers over you in a giant gold piggy bank…

But the chances of that are the same chances you have of winning that amount in an American lottery, albeit at an unspeakable and, practically speaking, impossible to truly believe, voluntary risk-reward.

Since I didn’t venture past episode one, I can’t say exactly who is supplying the money.  But I do know the game is being watched on closed circuit TV by what is likely a small group of very, very, VERY rich people so it’s safe to assume it is them who are doing the financing and the viewing.

Oh man, the Chair is GOOD

In the show that I saw there is one person sitting on a lovely, sumptuous chair sipping either wine or liquor from a gorgeous glass, subtly luxuriating at the site of the carnage and yet, almost a little bit bored at spots.

No doubt this person has experience with the masses being exploited for their own amusement and financial gain. 

The latter is clearly the case since no uber wealthy person does this much research (Note: A detailed dossier on everything about the dozens of players has been assembled in advance), and spends this degree of time and money, without some big financial payoff for themselves in mind.

Even if the deal merely involves a way to satisfy themselves sexually or socially (Note: Or both) their true aphrodisiac, if we dare to be REAL about it, is ALWAYS the assemblage of money and power, their quest to be the top dog.

OK but ya gotta admit the masks are good

This is why all the players participating/hunted in this game are seriously in debt, near penniless or at the end of their rope in every other way with only one last chance to grab what they perceive as life’s ultimate reward – MONEY.

It’s so…profound.

Well, at least it thinks it is.

I pictured Jeff Bezos in a Blue flight suit, sipping Courvoisier from a short baccarat tulip glass in one hand as he slow-drew in smoke from a gurkha royal courtesean cigar (Note: Google it – ok, here) in the other while he every so often watched everyone I ever loved or cared about, or could have loved and care about if I knew them, bleed out.

He’s already starting to look like a Bond villain

Call me crazy but this, to me, is not entertainment.  Nor does it say anything, or anything much, about the human condition that I didn’t already know.

However (and it’s a BIG however), the success of Squid Game is another thing.  And it says a lot.  An awful lot.

Approximately 142 million people in 90 countries have streamed it.  It’s generated revenue of almost $900 million in these two months on a budget of about $24.1 million for ALL nine episodes.  That means each episode brings in 41.7% times what it cost to make. 

Woah

Not only are all its top creatives being courted by all the major Hollywood agencies, it is likely to go down as Netflix’ #1 most watched and most profitable first season program ever.

The only way Netflix isn’t doing season two is if there’s a worldwide apocalypse that shuts down every…. 

Okay, better not manifest that idea given the climate, both literally and figuratively, we’ve barely managed to survive in the last 18 months.

We’re all there with you

But for this we can’t blame Netflix.  As part of our new, connected/disconnected global community this is clearly in our nature.

I will be thinking about that in the coming days as the Kyle Rittenhouse jury figures out what to do about a real-life under age kid who shot into a crowd of people and drew blood and death as well as an audience well into the tens of millions and counting.

With equal dread.

Squid Game – “Red Light, Green Light”