Conscientious Injector

This week I drove my husband for his first Covid shot at a FEMA vaccination site in downtown Los Angeles. 

It was at L.A. City College and during our circuitous 15-minute maneuver through the campus we passed any number of friendly young military men and women dressed in fatigues, all wearing face masks.

I couldn’t pick any of them out of a crowd but trust me when I tell you I never saw so many welcoming faces happily pointing me in the right direction, not even when I attended gay night at Disneyland in the 1990s (Note: Yes, this WAS a thing), though admittedly that was close.

same vibe #gayhappydance

Still, as a very young kid in the sixties this all threw me for a loop.  My association with college campuses and the military dates back to the Vietnam War and nationwide protests against its actions at places like Kent State University where four innocent students who just happened to be walking by were famously killed by National Guardsmen shooting blindly into a crowd trying to control them.

Oh, get over yourself, Chair,I told myself as we reached the vaccination tent and I realized the guy I love would soon be protected from Covid, in some part thanks to the work of these soldiers.

This was further confirmed when this REALLY HOT Army medic emerged with a clipboard and approached our car to give my husband his shot.

DId someone say hot army medic? #imlistening

Yeah, he was a really strapping and really handsome guy in fatigues operating at the height of efficiency who knew his way around a needle so…what else would YOU call him?

In any event, it was all over before you knew it, and certainly way before either of us was ready to let the medic go.  But being a medic he had other people to save and clearly nothing was going to stop him from his mission.

I say this only half in jest because this vaccination center run by the government and in some part by the military feels so incongruous with the experiences of so many of us in this country.

Not the shots I normally think of when I think National Guard

Either we have a knee jerk reaction against anything government run or we have a knee jerk suspicion about the use of the military in everyday civilian life.

And yet, here we are.

In 2021 we live in a world where people of either belief system now have, or are about to have, a concrete experience that could cause us to rethink our prejudicial views towards institutions, people and programs that we thought were forever engrained in our psyches.

I mean, if a generation of conservatives grew up feeding on the famous Reagan philosophy that the most terrifying words in the English language are, I’m from the government and I’m here to help, we liberals are not much better.

True for many

Particularly if you’re a baby boomer liberal, there is not much faith military leaders will steer young people towards anything but death and destruction in unjustified wars.

Okay, well at least this baby boomer.  I’ll come forward.   And with mandatory lie detector tests so will the majority of everyone else from my generation.

It was Pres. Biden’s ambitious plan upon taking office that we’d vaccinate 100 million people, meaning 1 million people per day, by the end of his first 100 days.  But since taking office Jan. 20th he’s now got us at an average of 2.3. million shots administered daily.  Meaning, we will reach that goal by the end of the coming week, which is a little more than half that projected amount of time.

WE DID!

That’s far ahead of schedule and, with the use of the Defense Production Act to make more vaccines (plus a coordinated effort to harness the power of the federal government to run many hundreds of additional testing sites), it is now likely the vast majority of Americans will have received their vaccines by the summer.

At that pace, Dr. Anthony Fauci predicts, the U.S. could achieve the holy grail of herd immunity against Covid-19 by the end of the summer.

Me, this summer

And all because the majority of us decided to drop a few of our prejudices and agree about a couple of things like mask-wearing, social distancing and a new strategy to try and end a pandemic that’s closed down most of the country and most our lives.

I’m not gonna say imagine what else we can do but I am going to write it.

In fact, I just did.

This does not mean we should go around tooting our horns quite yet.  Several states, led by the ubiquitous Florida, have dropped mask mandates altogether, opened up businesses entirely and are encouraging mass gatherings likes concerts, spring break  parties at the beach, and probably a ticker tape parade right down the center of the state if they could manage it.

Pretty much

But let’s not tar and feather only Florida.  A day after our medic meeting I had to go to the dentist (Note:  Yes, I’ve gotten BOTH of my shots) and saw three tables full of maskless people in their 20s and 30s, pushed up against each other at a patio restaurant, sharing spit and god knows what else as I heard them go on and on about everything EXCEPT the biggest issue of the day.

An afternoon dog walk followed where I saw more than several small bunches of people traipsing up and down the hill near my house, gabbing on their phones as they obliviously tried their best, or their worst, to get as close to me as they could as they passed me by.

THE WORST

God knows what they thought of my double-masked self, crossing the street as fast as I could to get away from them. 

But I know what I thought.

Variants.  Variants.  Variants!!!  What the f-k is wrong with all of you?  Don’t you get it?  Yet????

It was enough to make me wish there was a way to report them to the government. 

Or at the very least sic the military on them.

Jimi Hendrix – “The Star Spangled Banner”

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History Repeats and… It’s a Sin

HBO Max’s It’s A Sin is a new five-part limited series about a group of gay men and their friends in Great Britain who lived and sometimes died during the HIV/AIDS crisis from 1981-1991.  It is a critical hit and a must see.

Nevertheless, as a gay man who lived through it in the US, but didn’t die, it was the last thing I wanted to see or be reminded of during these pandemic days.

And yet…it was the first thing I began watching the very moment it dropped here in the States this week.

Why?

Wait! Hear me out!

Well, many reasons.  But the best that I could come up with is this begrudgingly timeless quote from an author long ago.

The past is never dead.  It’s not even past.  

William Faulkner, 1940

Writer extraordinaire William Faulkner first gave us those words in a short story he published in Harper’s in 1940.

They have since been quoted many times, most recently by both Barack Obama and Peggy Noonan in an attempt to address the issue of racism in the late aughts, and will no doubt be referred to many more times over.

Perhaps you prefer it in one of these standard internet formats

As a writer for none other than the Hindustan Times explained to us just three years ago, Faulkner’s words remain particularly prophetic because the past inevitably seeps into our present, informs it, even has a bearing on our future. The past cannot be wished away; neither can it be denied. 

I would add this is the case no matter how expert we are at pretending and no matter how determined we are to move forward.  The past, and its lessons, will ALWAYS resurface, whether you want to recognize them or not, and at times and in places you least expect it.

To not acknowledge it, learn from it, and at times live with it as you go on, is to be doomed – as too many countless others have warned – to repeat it.

How cliché.  And yet, how undeniably true.

Take it from someone who is alive and well and just qualified to receive a Covid-19 vaccine.

And I didn’t even have to dress up!

Denial is a big part of It’s A Sin, but so is celebration and joyousness.  Watching it reminded me that despite all my protestations to the contrary, those times were not solely tragic and funereal, colored forever in doom, gloom and sores of every type imaginable.

In fact and to its credit, none of the characters in this series are any ONE thing, and that goes not only for the young friends in their twenties at the prime of their lives but those middle-aged, older and even younger.

They are all a result of how they’ve allowed their experiences to shape them, the ways in which they choose to forge ahead or remain stagnant, and the harshness with which they treat not only others, but themselves. 

How they existed and what they did back then is particularly resonant because of the harrowing drama of those times. 

There was smiling! There was joy!

But as we all now sit in our homes (Note: Or wander freely), masked or maskless, hopeful, scared or bitter deep into our very cores for the future, it’s hard not to see our times as still yet another variance of their times.

Every decade has its costs and its joys and, if we’re lucky enough, we get to live through each to the next and adjust accordingly.

And I’m still here! #trying

No one is saying denial doesn’t work in limited doses.  I, for one, would have never sat down and written an original screenplay many decades ago that got bought and made had I accepted the true odds of that ever happening to a novice like me writing about the subject matter I chose to write about at that time. 

Indeed, sometimes the only way forward is to defiantly block the facts in order to springboard you into defying the odds.

We humans all do this to some success and to some extent.  However, experience also tells you (note: okay, ME) that this can’t be your ONLY strategy.  Inventing your own reality means you also may be blind to the crumbling of the world around you with the thought your alternative world and your alternative facts will protect you.

Exactly this #nevergetsold

Sadly, it’s not so.  Not in the AIDS era of the 1980s, not in the latest pandemic era of the 2020s.  Not even in the Deep South 1940 of Faulkner’s times.

The key is to be observant enough to acknowledge the cracks and take action before the crumbling starts.  Patch it, consult an expert about re-cementing or entirely knock down the walls you think you smartly built before it’s too late. 

All this construction has me longing for HGTV

Yeah, right, who wants to do that?  But in doing so you might even let in those ideas or persons you banished to the outside and find out for sure if you were right or wrong about them all along.  Imagine if you realized you were ignorant, selfish, misguided or had even misjudged while you still had time to do something about it?

This was the story of those five Londoners and their families in It’s A Sin just as it is the story of our survival in the midst of the worldwide pandemic we are now continuing to barely live through.

Any type of pandemic, much like any armed insurrection, is not any one person’s fault.  Even if the worst, most xenophobic tropes were true and it was proven that a Chinese lab mistakenly unleashed CoVid-19 to the world and purposefully covered it up, that still couldn’t be blamed for the degree of medical severity we are now experiencing.

Yes, shall we??

The politicization of masks, choosing economics and widely opening back up too soon over quarantining, turning our backs on our most vulnerable (note: essential workers, the poor, the non-Whites) and willingly letting them die early on and perhaps inadvertently become super spreaders through no fault of their own; a decided lack of interest in recent years of top international leaders to operate as a true global community and closely work together to ensure our mutual survival – arguably ALL explain the basic shutdown of the world as we once knew it.

Meaning, a virus, is a virus, is a virus.  And people, are people, and continue to be, people. 

All the homophobia, limited thinking and personal wall building and/or destroying won’t change the facts or the outcome once the stark realities of life has its way with you.  Or us.

History is, at its best, a colorful kaleidoscope.  But it isn’t always reliably pretty. 

What it is is reliably prescient.

“History Repeating” – Shirley Bassey

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